Perplexed Music

A/N: This story is based on the day Jane Austen Girl, NinjaSquirls, hanjuuluver, and I went bowling after we found out school had been cancelled. We had waaaaay too much fun. And yes, NinjaSquirls crushed us all and I really do suck at bowling. At least we had a good time, right?

Required Words/Phrases:
"Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!"
'clicky pen'
"To be or not to be, that is the question; whether 'tis nobler to take arms against a sea of troubles or…"
"Sometimes it just helps to be upside down."
"I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

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Roy stared at his surroundings and sighed. It was not a happy sigh. He really didn't want to be here. Really. The place was far too loud; a mixture of cheering, clattering pins, and truly random music filled the air. Roy wondered how he had ended up in a place like this. Then he remembered the pleading look on Ed's face. Yes, Ed had convinced the famous Flame Alchemist to go… bowling!

Roy ignored the stares of confused bowlers as he walked past, holding the rank shoes as far from his body as possible. He had just sat down in the hard, plastic chairs and was attempting to untie the uber-evil knot of doom from one of the shoes when Ed sat down next to him with a large grin plastered on his face. Roy automatically tried to shrink away from his boyfriend.

"Where's Al?" Roy was surprised his voice sounded normal, given how terrified he was.

"He went to the snack bar," Ed replied. He was far too excited. He was literally bouncing, which was never good.

Thanks to his military training, Roy had spotted a close exit and was trying to sneak out quietly. Unfortunately, his bowling shoes decided to squeak just then. Ed gave his boyfriend a questioning look. Roy tried to answer when Al came skipping up to his brother and tackled him, laughing like a madman.

"Hey Al… what did you get at the snack bar?" Ed asked in a concerned voice.

"Just some lemonade. Why? Do you want some? I'll go get some more…" Al was babbling. Roy's eye twitched.

"No, that's ok Al! Let's get started!" Ed answered quickly, exchanging a frightened look with Roy.

Ed and Roy decided to let Al bowl first. They thought that it would help him calm down. Al threw the ball down the lane and jumped up and down when he managed to knock all the pins over. He pushed Ed off his seat next to the scoreboard and grabbed the clicky pen Ed was holding and scribbled his score down.

It was Ed's turn next. He took longer than Al, carefully positioning his feet next to the tiny arrows on the floor before swinging his arm back and watching the ball roll down the lane. Ed grinned when he got a strike too. Al took the liberty of recording Ed's score before clicking the clicky pen multiple times.

"Beat that, Colonel Useless!" Ed said as Roy stood up and took his turn. He took his ball and threw it down the lane, trying his best to ignore the clicking behind him. He sighed in frustration as the ball quickly rolled into the gutter. Roy repeated his procedure a second time only to produce the same results. The annoying clicking stopped immediately.

As Roy walked back to his seat, he noticed the Elric brothers were wearing identical expressions of shock, which he promptly ignored… until Ed started laughing. Roy glared at his boyfriend and did the only thing he could think of – he sat on Ed.

"Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!" was heard faintly from somewhere underneath Roy, who smirked as Al's face paled.

The younger Elric quickly retrieved his ball and threw it at the pins. Sadly for Al, he only hit three pins. He glared at the pins before using all his strength to throw the ball down the lane again… and smiled when he knocked over six of the remaining pins.

Ed managed to wiggle his way out from underneath Roy to take his turn. He glared at Roy, who smirked in return, which turned into a glare as Ed got another strike.

Roy sighed and took his second turn. To his surprise, he managed to knock over half the pins this time and smiled to himself. Maybe he wasn't completely hopeless after all…

The game continued in a similar fashion until halfway through the game, when Al decided Ed was cheating. He started yelling at his older brother, who tried, in vain, to defend himself.

Roy sighed and rubbed his temples. He decided that he needed caffeine if he would survive an Elric brother fight. He snuck away to the snack bar, ordered a large coffee, and was walking back to the lane, muttering under his breath, "To be or not to be, that is the question; whether 'tis nobler to take arms against a sea of troubles or…" Roy trailed off as he stared in horror at the scene before him.

Ed had his back to the alley, and had managed to bend over far enough so he was not only facing the alley, but had his hands close enough to throw the ball down the lane with some degree of precision.(1)

"Ed, what in the world are you doing?" Roy asked.

"Sometimes it just helps to be upside down," the teen replied as he got another strike. "See?" Roy didn't reply. He set his coffee down and took his turn. Once he was finished, he picked up the flimsy Styrofoam cup only to find it was empty.

Someone behind him was giggling and considering the people occupying the lanes surrounding the trio sometime during their game, there was only one logical explanation…

Al was bouncing on the balls of his feet and staring at Roy with complete fascination.

"Al…" Roy started, but the boy quickly cut him off.

"I swear to drunk I'm not God!" the younger Elric proclaimed.

"That's good to know Al. Now let's finish this game." Ed said, staring at his brother as he started his last frame before he sat down next to his boyfriend.

"He drank my coffee!" Roy hissed indignantly at Ed, who laughed. "It's not funny!"

Ed ignored Roy and congratulated his brother, who ended the game with a score of 125.

Both Ed and Roy took their last turns and ended with scores of 200 and a pitiful 85, respectively.

Needless to say, Roy was very glad once they got home that night.

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(1) This was my lame attempt to describe a pose we did in yoga. It's really simple - you stand up and lean backwards as far as you can. Anyway, Ed does have amazing yoga skills 'cause I said so! And everyone should go read Jane Austen Girl's "FMA Yoga" because it's awesome.

A/N: Well... yeah. Totally crack. It was fun to write, though!