Chapter 3
My dear Morgana,
Happy birthday to you, my daughter. I hope you are in good health and are treated well. I am sorry I could not be there to celebrate your special day with you. I have not seen you in many years but I know that when I do, you'll be a beautiful woman grown, just like your mother. Please accept this gift and forgive me for not being there with you. It belonged to your mother and I wanted to wait until you reached womanhood so that I could give it to you. It pains me that I could not in person. I want you to know that I miss you and love you and cannot wait till the day I see your smiling face again.
Love always,
Gorlois Le Fay
Morgana swallowed back the choking lump in her throat to prevent her tears from overflowing. The letter that had been delivered to her this morning was from her father. It was longer than two sentences, like all of Gorlois's annual birthday letters. With it came a parcel, his gift to her. In the past, Morgana had not received any gifts but the only one she wanted was to see her father. She thought she would get her wish this year.
Nevertheless, the woman carefully unwrapped the parcel, removing the strings at snail's pace, making this moment a dramatic one. She left her breakfast untouched as Gwen flew around her room, cleaning, laundering, fussing over which dress the ward should wear for her birthday feast tonight. Gwen had given Morgana's gift already- a silk scarf she saved up money to buy materials and sew for her. It was beautiful, much like all the other presents Gwen had given her over the years.
"We should decide how to do your hair as well," the maid was saying, sifting through the brightly colored gowns. "Something that would match whichever dress you choose to wear. Oh! And I still have to run you a bath! Goodness, we have so much to do!"
"Mmm." Morgana was only half-listening. She stared at the parcel on the table, worried she might break out into uncontrollable emotions once she saw the gift. It was once her mother's… what could it possibly be? When she could not take it anymore, Morgana tore into the package and gasped when she saw what it was.
"My lady? What is it?" Gwen dropped the gown and looked over at the woman. Morgana held up the bracelet between her fingers- it was small in size, white gold traced with silver. She stared at it in awe. It looked so new, so perfect. And it was hers now.
"That's a beautiful gift!" Gwen praised, smiling at her lady. "Your father?"
"Yes," Morgana replied, eyes glinting. She slipped the bracelet onto her right wrist. It fit nicely and hugged her wrist comfortably. "It was my mother's."
Gwen looked sympathetic. "That's wonderful. He passed it down to you for her. Very lovely. You should wear it tonight!"
Morgana smiled, the first time she genuinely smiled today. "I think I will!" It was then her eyes caught another note in the package. She unrolled it and read it:
Morgana, this is called a Savior Bracelet, meant to ward off evil eyes. Your mother was rather fond of it and told me to give it to you before she died. I pray it keeps you safe.
"Savior bracelet," she murmured, tracing the accessory on her arm. If that was so, then maybe Uther would keep his hands off of her and stay away from her. She could break out of this cold castle and run away back to her kingdom. But first, to Pike Island to save her father. Morgana looked up at Gwen. "I should be getting ready for tonight."
The maid's eyes lit up. "Yes! I shall run your bath right away!"
While she did, Morgana looked through her dresses on her own, pick the right one to match her bracelet…
"That's a nice bracelet, Morgana," Arthur commented that night, taking a drink of wine. He reached over and brushed it with his fingertips. "Did Gorlois send that?"
"He did," Morgana nodded her head once. She had made herself look especially radiant tonight, wearing a cream-colored dress and pulling her hair up to match her accessory. She had even worn make-up, something she did only when she absolutely had to.
"Seems Le Fay has some taste," Uther commented, not in a kind tone. He drained his cup of wine and ordered a serving boy to refill it.
Morgana's face flushed in anger. "It was my mother's," she said heatedly.
Arthur shot a disapproving look at his father. "And it's lovely, right, Father?" he pressed, blue eyes darkening.
"Yes, yes." Uther waved a hand. "Though it does not go with the necklace. And neither does your dress, for that matter. But I must admit, you look stunning tonight, Morgana. More than you normally do."
Morgana faked an appreciative smile, even though deep down, she was fuming with disgust. She felt the weight of the heavy emerald and silver necklace around her neck (Uther's gift) and felt like she was betraying her father by wearing it.
"You are not eating," the king observed. He scanned his ward's figure- she had lost a lot of weight over this and had grown quite thin. He felt annoyed. After all, Uther had requested the cooks to prepare all of Morgana's favorite foods tonight- meats glazed with sauces or cooked in a thick stew, fine white bread freshly baked and oiled, sweet red wine, and lastly, all her favorite desserts. Most of it went cold on her plate.
"I am," Morgana insisted. She forced a forkful of lemon cake down her throat. The tangy flavor made her feel sick. She faintly remember when she used to sneak lemon cakes from the kitchen with Arthur when they were kids. But Uther found that out too. He was only tempting her now. "It's delicious."
"Damn right it is," Arthur said with his mouthful. He had eaten heartily tonight, as a king's son always did. Uther was satisfied with him, but not so much with Morgana. Big surprise there. "Remember when we used to steal these from the kitchens? Cook was ready to chop our heads off and serve them to the dogs! No wonder she only bakes these for special occasions."
Morgana offered up a small smile and shook her head. "It was so childish."
"Yes it was. Not a way for a lady to act," Uther said, nodding his head in approval.
"Whatever. We were kids." Arthur rolled his eyes.
"Not anymore." Uther lifted his cup to toast the both of them before drinking again. He had one too many it seemed, for throughout the evening, his knee kept knocking into Morgana's and at one point, so had his hands. This made her so uneasy, she was considering excusing herself though she never did all night.
"Wait," Arthur remembered something, putting down his fork. "I can't believe I forgot my gift to you!" He called for his servant to go get the present. "You're going to love this, Morgana."
"You haven't shown me her gift," Uther pointed out, looking coolly at his son.
"I wanted it to be a surprise! Besides…" Arthur grinned slyly. "You might get jealous at its beauty."
Morgana was confused until the servant brought back a box and gave it to Arthur. The prince passed it down to the ward. It was a very elaborately-designed box. "Open it," Arthur urged.
Smiling, she lifted the top and widened her eyes at the slick weapon that was his birthday present to her. She took out the dagger and admired its shine. The handle was gold and so was its cover. Perfect for her. "You're an original one, Arthur Pendragon," she chuckled. "It's lovely."
"And deadly," Arthur noted. "I figured you needed something to protect yourself with. That's a sharp one, I made sure of it. And of course, as feminine looking as possible. Fit for a lady. Don't you agree, Father?"
Uther looked displeased the whole time. "It's pretty, but it is not fit for a lady, Arthur. Look at it. She'll cut her own fingers off."
"I will not!" Morgana gasped. "I'm careful!"
Arthur furrowed his brow. "Morgana's pretty skilled with weapons, more so than any woman I know."
"She does not need a weapon, she has you and she has me to protect her," Uther pushed, holding a hand out. Morgana's smile dropped from her face and she hesitantly gave the dagger to Uther. He weighed it in his hand, examining it. "It looks useful, but you're going to have to think a little more when you're buying a gift for a woman, Arthur."
"How much more jewelry can I buy her?" Arthur argued, "This is the perfect gift for her. You're not always going to be around to hide her from the world, she's going to need it! What about when she goes back home, it'll be useful to train with!"
"Enough," Uther snapped, putting the dagger back inside the box. Morgana watched helplessly as he signaled for a servant to come by and take it away. "You can redeem yourself next year, when you do some proper shopping for a woman's birthday present."
Arthur huffed angrily. "What are you afraid of?" he muttered. "That she might stab you in your sleep someday?"
"What was that?" Uther barked, widening his eyes in anger.
"Nothing," Arthur spat, reaching for his cup. He drank the whole thing in one gulp and rose from his chair. "I'm going to bed. Happy birthday, Morgana."
Morgana tried to smile again and say thank you, but Arthur was already out of the dining hall, mumbling to himself. Uther rolled his eyes. "Do not pay attention to him, he tends to throw fits when things do not go the way he wants," he spoke. Congratulations, you just described yourself, the ward thought bitterly. When Morgana did not reply or even look at him, his expression was stony. "You disagree, then? You think a dagger is a right gift for a lady like you?"
She glanced at him. "It can't have made him feel good that you put him down like that."
"He'll get over it. You just worry about yourself."
Rage churning up inside of her, Morgana rose from her chair, finally excusing herself. Uther wished her happy birthday once again and she stomped back to her chambers, fighting tears as she whipped Uther's necklace off of her and threw it across the room. Clutching the bracelet on her hand, she silently prayed for it to save her.
Morgana sat at her mirror and looked at herself. She was thin, thinner than she could remember. Her stress and misery prevented her from digesting anything solid and her skin tone had become much paler, a sickly shade. There were dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep, conveniently covered up with a layer of make-up. She dreaded to think what would happen if Uther saw her when she wasn't all dolled up. He would criticize her to the point where she would be reduced to tears. And Morgana had done enough crying in her lifetime.
Sitting down at her table, she set about to replying to her father's birthday letter, knowing Gwen would be here soon to check up on her. Morgana told herself the same thing she did every birthday- just a little bit longer now. A little bit longer.
Happy birthday to me.
A few days after Morgana's birthday, news reached the king of a new suspect of magic- a man named Thomas Collins, villager of the lower town, and practitioner of the art. At the trial, Collins did not deny his actions nor opposed his conviction. Uther locked him up in the dungeons and passed a death sentence, to be carried on in the late afternoon.
"Did he hurt anyone, Father?" asked Arthur at lunch around noon. Him, the king, and Morgana sat on the large, grand table, a "family lunch" as Uther liked to call it.
"Not that we know of. But he would have," Uther replied, turning eyes to a silent Morgana. "Sit up straight now, you don't to appear depressed."
Oh good, you noticed, Morgana thought, straightening up and brushing her hair back with her fingers. She took a casual sip of water as Uther continued. "You should always assume that those with magic will eventually take advantage of their power, use it for evil."
"He seemed innocent to me," Arthur shrugged, stabbing a piece of meat with his fork.
"Seemed is the key word here, my son," Uther advised, lifting a warning finger, "Sorcerers are clever, they hide behind a disguise. Either way, he was well aware of the law and chose to practice magic anyway. If he was innocent, it does not matter. He broke the law."
"But you shouldn't kill him," Morgana spoke softly. The king and prince looked at her in surprise. She usually took Uther's side just to please him. It was very rare she spoke out against him.
"And just what do you suggest I do then, Lady Morgana?" Uther said, sounding like he was mocking her.
"Well… he didn't hurt anyone. You could just… banish him," she stammered, looking down at her lap.
"He would come back. Wreak more havoc. As if he hasn't already."
"What about his family? You would be hurting them terribly," Morgana pointed out. As you are with my father and me.
"It is their fault as much as it is his."
"How? They didn't do anything," Morgana shot back, raising her voice.
"That is quite enough," Uther snapped, glaring at her. "The sentence has been passed. We are no longer discussing this. You would do well to hold your tongue around your king."
Morgana's nostrils flared but she shut her mouth. She glanced at Arthur to see he was smiling, but not in a cruel way. He looked like he was admiring her, proud that she countered Uther's argument. It made her feel just a little bit better. But not enough.
At last, at last… he had made it.
The journey had been long and Merlin was barely able to contain his excitement. But when the tall towers of the castle appeared before his eyes, a smile formed on his lips- Camelot. He may have lived here once, but he had turned into a village boy who stood in awe of castles and kingdoms and the like.
Life in Ealdor hadn't changed much for him. No one picked on him anymore but Merlin's magic combined with Will's mischievous attitude had the two pulling pranks and causing trouble. His mother never yelled at him nor scolded him. Instead, Hunith had finally realized that the village was no longer a place for Merlin. He needed help and she wasn't enough. After a few letters back and forth, she announced that he would be returning to Camelot to stay with an old friend of hers; a man named Gaius, the court physician to the king. At the news, Merlin was overjoyed and began flinging all of his belongings into a bag, already packing. Finally! Back to Camelot, where someone would guide him with his magic, a place where he could a lead a much more exciting life, make new friends, figure himself out… and Morgana.
"Did you ask? Is the Lady Morgana still there? Do you know?" he pestered Hunith the morning of his departure. He had already said goodbye to Will who demanded he come back sometime soon so they could resume their pranks and games.
"No, I did not," his mother replied gently, "You will find out soon enough. But Merlin, please do not have such high hopes. Even if she is there, she is a guest of the king. He might not like it if try constantly to see her."
"Mother, I just want to meet her," Merlin sighed, "I'm not going to be some bother in her life. Even gazing all day at her would be enough. Just as long as I know she's still there."
Hunith shook her head. "You never know, you could find another girl to swoon over."
Merlin highly doubted that as he hugged his mother tightly and left her for the first time to be on his own. A few hours in and already the warlock missed his mother. It would be strange, not having her around. But nevertheless, this was new and exciting- Merlin on his own!
The lower town had not drastically changed and he remembered it well. There were more people, walking around with loads in their arms, calling to their friends or family members, chatting animatedly, occasionally yelling. There were more shops and stalls, retaining the busy life that never left Camelot. Keeping a hold on the straps of his bag, Merlin walked through, passing by a few kids chasing each other. He spotted the bright red capes of the knights flowing behind their chainmail-covered figures. The warlock followed the current of people, glancing up and down at his sights with a smile on his face. He could easily get back into living in the kingdom.
As Merlin made his way into the citadel, the sound of horns filled the air. He spotted a crowd that had formed inside the square and approached them. The amazed look on his face turned to one of anxious curiosity when he saw what was happening. The crowd was looking up at a man with an axe standing on a platform, waiting. The horns stopped and were replaced with the banging of drums. Two guards dragged a villager by his arms up to the platform next to the man.
"Let this serve as a lesson to all." Everyone, including Merlin, turned their heads up to the stern voice of none other than King Uther Pendragon himself. He had aged over the years, and looked older than Merlin remembered. But the cold, determined look in his eyes never left. And from the looks of it, neither had his cruelty.
"This man," Uther addressed, "Thomas James Collins, is adjudged with conspiring to use enchantments and magic. In persistent to the laws of Camelot I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned, on penalty of dead. I pride myself on being a fair and just King, but for the crime of sorcery, there is but on sentence I can pass." Fair and just? Are you kidding me? Merlin thought incredulously. What's so fair and just about killing off people who are different from you? Absolutely nothing!
Uther nodded his head and the guards lowered Thomas Collins to his knees. The man next to him was the executioner. Merlin felt his heart pound quickly, the previous joy he felt melting away at the sight before him. The executioner positioned the axe above the villager's head, waiting for Uther's signal. Merlin kept his eyes on the axe, fear evident on his face. At that moment, he just noticed that beyond the view of the execution, a woman was standing near a window, her eyes lowered, looking down. Before Merlin could get a good look at her, Uther made the signal and down came the axe fiercely. The crowd gasped and turned their heads away. Merlin tried to keep himself from shaking and refused to look away. Get used to it, he told himself, this may happen frequently.
"When I came to this land," Uther continued, as if he was recounting an old heroic tale, "This kingdom was marred with chaos and with the people's help, magic was driven from the land. So I declare a festival, to celebrate twenty years since the great dragon was captured and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery. Let the celebrations begin!" Merlin was slowly starting to regret this decision. The people back in Ealdor may have thought him a freak, but at least they didn't chase after him with an axe and attempt to chop his head off. Gods, what have I gotten myself into?
The crowd started to disperse when a mournful cry brought their attention back to the center. An old woman was staring up at the king, clutching at her worn skirt. It was obvious that she was the mother of the convicted Uther regarded her coldly. "There is only one evil in this land and it is not magic," she shrieked, "It is you. With your hatred and your ignorance. You took my son, but I promise you that before the celebrations are over you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth," she broke off and lowered her voice to a deadly whisper, "a son for a son."
Merlin widened his eyes in horror. He had almost forgotten about Arthur Pendragon, the golden-headed boy who liked to tease the children of the lower town. The warlock could only imagine what he was like now before he actually met him. That is… if the woman didn't take his life first.
"Seize her," Uther ordered, pointing a finger. The guards made for her, but the woman enchanted something under her breath and disappeared in a flurry of wind right before everyone's very eyes. Merlin stared in shock. He had not seen any of this coming. Well, this is certainly turning out to be some welcome back party. I wonder if Gaius has any more gifts waiting for me when I meet him…
After what had just happened, the audience went their own ways and so did the king. Merlin grasped onto the straps of his bag nervously, glancing back up at the window where he saw the woman. She had finally lifted her head so he got a good look at her- long black hair, green eyes, light skin, blue dress… holy mother of God. No… no it couldn't have been… could it?
The woman sensed someone was looking her way and her eyes found Merlin. At first she looked nervous, wondering why some village boy was staring up at her. Then her eyes seemed to shine in recognition. They locked gazes and Merlin dug into his memory and drew comparisons. Everything was there, the features were so exact…
"Morgana," he murmured, the name sounding sweet to his ears. As if she could hear him, the woman frantically averted her eyes and closed the window. Merlin's shoulders sank and he breathed out heavily. Great job, he scolded himself, you completely freaked her out. Good luck trying to get her to ever talk to you again.
"Glued to your spot there, stranger?" Merlin whipped around to see a young knight standing before, grinning like he found Merlin to be the funniest boy in the world. He had longish brown hair and a sly glint in his eyes. It vaguely reminded him of Will.
"No, I was just… uhh…" Merlin stumbled on his words, not sure how he could explain what he had just been doing.
"Staring up at the Lady Morgana's window?" the knight pointed out, shaking his head, "Wouldn't do that if I were you. Dare the king catch you so much as glancing at his ward, you'll meet the same fate as Collins over here." He jerked his head towards the platform.
"I wasn't! I mean… I didn't… the Lady Morgana still lives here?" That was quite honestly the only thing the warlock could say right now.
"Hard to believe, isn't it? Came here when she was about this tall," the knight said, using his hand to show the height of little Morgana, "And now look at her. She's a jewel. Can't blame you for staring."
"I was not staring," Merlin insisted, mentally kicking himself for blushing. "I just… wasn't sure if that was her. I thought she would have left, you know, with her father and all that."
The knight snorted. "Please, like the king is going to be letting that go. Poor girl holes up in the castle all day, ordered around by that tyrant they call a 'fair and just' king."
Merlin smiled, glad to see someone speak out openly against Uther, a knight especially. "I'm Merlin," he introduced himself.
"Gwaine," replied the knight, sticking out a hand for a shake. He scanned the warlock up and down. "Where you from, Merlin?"
"Just this village out of Uther's kingdom," Merlin replied simply.
"Came to Camelot to find work?"
"Yeah, something like that. I was looking around for Gaius, the court physician, but I was just momentarily distracted."
"Ah, Gaius," Gwaine chuckled. "Love the old man, though I can't say he reciprocates. Here, I'll take you to him. Are you his new assistant? Lord knows the man could use one."
Merlin chose his words carefully. Gwaine may not have though highly of Uther but he wasn't about to let his secret run free. "You could say that!"
"Follow me," Gwaine offered, leading Merlin out of the square and into the castle. Merlin decided he officially liked Gwaine. He was nice to him, a much better welcome than watching a man get his head hacked off.
"Here we are." They stopped in front the chamber doors to the court physician's.
"Thanks," Merlin said gratefully.
"Don't mention it," Gwaine waved off, "I feel obligated to tell you to enjoy your stay in Camelot and we'll be sad to see you leave."
The warlock laughed. "I hope nothing makes me want to."
"Trust me, if what you just saw hasn't scared you off yet, you'll be here for quite some time. Oh and Merlin?" Gwaine leaned in. "If you're going to drool over the Lady Morgana, do so where you're not at risk of getting caught by Uther."
Grinning again, Gwaine walked off, clearly amused with himself. Merlin exhaled sharply. He hated to admit it, but the knight was right. Morgana had been trapped in Camelot and isolated from her father for many years for a reason. Uther did not seem to have any intention of letting her free and Merlin found himself worrying for her already.
But before he could do anymore fearing for another's life, he had to think about his first. And the first thing on his list was to get acquainted with Gaius.
A/N: I'm so glad all of you are liking the story! Next chapter, Merlin and Morgana will finally meet. Our beloved warlock will also meet the famous condescending clotpole, Arthur himself. My heart aches for Morgana, as the rest of yours are too. It's sort of following the plot of the show but it focuses mainly on the Mergana relationship, so I'm going to be changing a few things here and there. And I love the way I'm writing Gwaine, I had to include him early in the story.
Please review! They're the reason chapters go up so fast. Cheers.
