A/n: Okay y'all, here's the deal: we have NO idea what to say.

Yup.

So…

READ!!!

Chapter Three:

Topic: TOAST

Shea: I LOVE TOAST!

Mauri: ooooooooookkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy…

Edward: Toast is revolting.

Emmett: Toastest for the mostest!

Shea: Am I the mostest?

Edward: No, you're the worstest.

Mauri: -GASP- That's just rude!

Shea: Why is it called French toast if it isn't from French?

Mauri: It's France, stupid.

Shea: I knew that… OH! I got ants in my pants and they're makin' me dance… All the way to FRANCE!

Edward: The king of France, wet his pants, right in the middle of his wedding dance…

Shea: I don't even wanna know how you knew that…

Edward: How many puddles did he make?

Emmett: -jump ropes- One… Two… Three… -slips on mysterious yellowish puddle-

Edward: EW! How did that get there?!

Shea: -nervous- Um… the CAT!

Mauri: We don't have a cat…

Shea: Well WHY NOT?!

Mauri: 'Cause mommy won't let us… remember? –sniffles-

Emmett: Oh, it's alright… -hugs-

Shea: I WANNA HUG! –Cries-

Emmett: -backs away-

Bella: -runs in- I wanna hug too! Eddie-poo! –Slips on puddle-

Shea: -giggles- I wonder WHO put that there…

Mauri: -laughs- poor Bella… I feel mean.

Shea: -laughs- I DO TOO!!! I love it!

Edward: -pouts- Don't be mean to my Bella.

Shea: I wanna be yours too!

Edward: -Face turns horrified as he backs away and trips over Bella and lands on butt in puddle-

Mauri: EW!!!

Emmett: Hey, why is everyone tripping over Bella?!

Mauri: 'Cause she's natures little speed bump.

Shea: -giddily- Like squirrels!

Bella: -sarcastic- Great… I'm a squirrel now…

Edward: -sweet- That's ok, you can be my squirrel…

Shea: Ya know Eddie, I saw a squirrel once… it wasn't pretty… it was on the side of the road, its guts spilling everywhere… blood dripping down… DRIP… DRIP… DROP…

Bella: -turns green- I'm gonna be sick! –Runs to bathroom-

Bella: -trips on 'cat'-

Mauri: How did that get there?

Shea: -triumphant- I TOLD you we had a cat!

Bella: -stumbles back inside- I feel… I would say better, but… I don't…

Emmett: -puts on best reporter look- So… Bella… inside sources have informed us that you have a little 'thing' for Mr. Mike Newton, eh? –Wink wink-

Bella: -disgusted and horrified- What makes you think such a repulsing thought?!

Mauri: You know, I WOULD say that he can't think such a repulsing thought because he can't think at all, but that would just be a LITTLE bit too mean… I mean, Emmett does have the emotional balance of a preschooler…

Emmett: -tearless sobs- THAT'S MEAN!!!

Jasper: -pops up- HAPPY! –Disappears-

Emmett: YAY! TOAST!

Shea: -casually- So… back to Mr. Mike Newton… huh?

Bella: I don't know what you're talking about!

Emmett: -sing-song- Suspicious!

Edward: Uh, Bella dear… you may have said some things in your er… sleep I guess yesterday…

Shea: Don't you mean when Emmett knocked her out?

Edward: -gulps- maybe…

Bella: -sobs- Why can't I remember any of this?!

Mauri: It's alright… -pats back then wipes hands innocently on jeans then decides to burn jeans later- It just gives us a better shot at Eddie…

Shea: Plus you might not remember nothing 'cause you ran into a ROCK but hey… don't feel bad, I'm sure that could happen to ANYONE… -crosses fingers behind back-

Bella: Hey, speakin' of incidents, what happened to your hair?

Shea: -feels bald head- Oh… Fireworks…

Edward, Emmett: -depressed- OUR CARS!

Shea: -comforting- No, Eddie, I didn't use fireworks in YOURS… I used a match and gasoline… and, look at the bright side… you have the antennae to poke Emmy-bear with…

Emmett: -sniffles and rubs shoulder-

Edward: -brightens- POKEY!

Shea: -gasps- POKEY THE PLAYFUL PUPPY!

Mauri: -winces at memory of evil little dog-

Emmett: -swallows-

Edward: -thinks- I wonder what dogs taste like…

Bella: -gasp- Edward! How could you?!

Edward: easily, you pick the thing up, you kill it, and then you suck it dry… -looks at her like: duh!-

Bella: -pales- OH NO! Blood! Bad images! SICK! –Runs to bathroom-

Mauri: Edward, I thought your standards were higher.

Edward: Exactly, that's why I'm dating HER not YOU.

Mauri: -gasp-

Shea: OH! BURN!

Emmett: Don't burn the toast!

Alice: -pops up- I don't see toast being burnt anytime in the future!

Emmett: -cheers-

Alice: Although… Emmett, stay away from glue… it can do NASTY things to your hair…

Emmett: -drops mouth open in horror-

Edward: -winces-

Alice: -brightly- Well, shoe sale going, GOTTA GO! –Disappears-

Mauri: Well, I have MATH homework… -gags- Gotta go! –runs upstairs and pretends to do 'math homework'-

Edward: I finished mine.

Bella: You didn't have any.

Edward: -frowns- well if I did it would be done already.

Shea: So… Bella… back to Fig Newton… healthy but utterly disgusting…

Emmett: OH BREAKFAST! TOAST! YAY!

Edward: …

Bella: Fig?

Shea: -yells- Don't stall just answer the question!

Bella: -faints-

Edward: Whoops.

Emmett: -winces- Whoops is right… jeesh that's gotta hurt!

Shea: -gasps happily- DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!

End of chappy…

A/n: Disclaimer: Don't you know better? Jeez, mock us why don't you?! CAN'T YOU TELL WE'RE SENSITIVE ABOUT THIS?! WE DON'T OWN ANYTHING THAT STEPENIE MEYER DOES!

A/n: And… um… about us being mean to Bella… don't take it the WRONG way… we just have fun seeing her fall… and… er… other dangerous stunts that may or may not result in serious injury…

We're teenage girls who love Edward…

Can ya blame us?

REVIEW!