Coffee.
It was around one in the afternoon as I had prepared lunch for myself, whilst brewing a pan full of coffee for Kaneki instead.
The boy thanked me as he eagerly filled his cup with coffee and continued to fill it for a couple of times until he let out a deep sigh.
I smiled at him as I was slowly finishing my home made egg salad.

'' Kaneki, today is my day off. I was thinking of going somewhere together, if you want. '' I spoke gently as I stared at the boy.
Kaneki looked surprised yet happy in a way as he shyly looked away for a moment.
'' Uhm.. I don't know. Where can we go? '' He asked softly.
'' Anywhere you'd like. '' I spoke as I gently smiled at the boy's modest behavior.

Book.
'' Really?... Well.. I actually wanted to buy a new book that came out a week ago.. uhm… if that's okay? '' Kaneki spoke as he looked away again.
'' Sure, I was planning on going to the district center anyways for some grocery shopping. ''
I spoke cheerfully as I stood up and brought the dirty dishes back to the kitchen.

I shut the door of my apartment as we made our way outside of the apartment complex
and walked towards the center which was only 5 minutes away from it.
It was a big center full of different shops and other stores and café's, anything you'd like was available
here and it was less chaotic then the actual city.

After I was finished doing errands together with Kaneki, we suddenly walked passed a book store that had discounts in it.
I stared at Kaneki as his eyes widened from excitement as he immediately walked inside the store.
Eventually we left the store with not only the book that Kaneki wanted to buy, but a whole bag full of other books.

I glanced over at Kaneki who's face seemed delighted as he sighed and looked at the sky for a moment,
the sunshine radiating brightly as the sky was blue, almost cloudless.
'' Kaneki, there is a clothes shop over there too. For now I can buy new clothes for you until we go to your house and get your own clothes again. ''
I spoke as Kaneki turned his head towards me and nodded agreeably.

We were standing in line for the cashier as my hands were full of new clothes and other attires I wanted to buy for him.
Kaneki looked away as he had thanked me multiple times for being so generous for which I waved his comment away and smiled at him.

'' Alright, that will be 16875,93 Yen please. '' The cashier lady asked. I paid her the amount as I carried a big bag of clothes.
'' Please, let me carry those. You already have other bags in your hand as well. '' Kaneki asked attentively as he reached out his hand.

'' Kaneki, don't worry about it. '' I grinned cheerfully as I continued to walk further with Kaneki along with me as he
would occasionally stare at me, hoping I'd ask for his assistance as we made our way back towards the entrance of the district center.

'' Hello Amon. '' I turned my head to the left as I saw an old acquaintance of my former co-worker walking right up to me as she greeted me.
'' Hello Kaori-san. '' I spoke politely as I smiled at her. '' Oh please, no need for any formalities. How are you doing? ''
She spoke as she waved her hand a little by my formality.

'' I'm doing fine, how are you doing? '' I asked. '' Good to hear, I am doing good. I heard you are doing a terrifically great job these days don't you? ''
She spoke as she looked at me cheerfully.

Uncertain.
I stared at her for a moment, an uncertain look hidden within my facial expression as my ongoing polite smile still was noticeable on my face.
'' Uhm.. good job you say? '' I asked. '' Yes of course! You're job is detecting ghouls and transporting them to the
extermination camps right? You are doing a good job, serves those ghouls right. ''

'' … Well, with all due respect. It is just my job. I have no personal.. attachment towards my job or anything. ''
I spoke, hasty as I tried to avoid this conversation as much as possible. '' Really? If I were in your shoes, I would've really loved messing
with those disgusting ghouls. '' She spoke with an fierce expression as she sneered.

'' Oh, Amon. Who might this sweet boy be? '' She asked as she smiled sweetly at Kaneki while ruffling through his hair.
Kaneki however remained looking at the ground, his hair hanging in front of his face, his mouth slightly open.

My heart felt like exploding inside my body by the sight of his behavior.
The cheerful and blissful Kaneki that was there moments before was completely out of sight and was now replaced with this version of Kaneki.

Sadness and Aloofness.

Both words were engraved inside this living creature, who's head now bent down.

'' … Is he doing alr- '' She spoke when I instinctively grabbed Kaneki's hand who gasped softly as he looked up, staring at my back as I stood
in front of Kaori with a serious and vigorous expression as I held my posture high. '' We are leaving now. Good day. ''

Minutes had passed by as we sat inside a small little café as I ordered a mixed cocktail for myself and a double espresso macchiato for Kaneki.
He thanked me before passing me a smile as he took a few gulps and stared outside of the glass window inside the café.

'' I'm sorry. ''

Kaneki suddenly turned his head towards me as he stared at me confused for a moment.

'' That women… what she said… I saw it.. the way you looked.. Believe me when I say that after meeting you..
my whole entire attitude has changed towards ghouls. I don't… wish for this to happen to every one of your kind… I feel..so guilty lately. ''
I spoke as I tried to look away, not wanting Kaneki to see my sorrowful face, trying to hide the tears that I felt were welling up.
Of course he would never sincerely like or accept me, knowing what kind of horrible job I practice.

Soft.
I felt a soft handing being placed on my own hand as I looked up and stared at the young ghoul who
had a genuine smile and expression on his face as he looked at me.

'' Amon-san. You are kind. If you were really the way they portray every ghoul investigator
to be then I wouldn't be sitting here right now.. You are a kind person… You saved me after all.
And I will always remain grateful for it. '' His gentle voice spoke.

Guilt -which was this dark, gloomy creature- had been feeding itself inside me for the past few weeks but was now
being destroyed by the light of the young ghoul's words as I slowly felt the heavy mental burden inside of me ebbing away, little by little.

I sighed deeply as I felt relief from knowing how Kaneki thought of me.
I felt like crying out loudly and holding the boy inside of my embrace, thanking him for this but withheld myself from doing so inside a public place.

'' Thank you.. Kaneki. '' I spoke softly as I smiled at the boy who returned the same expression as he drank the remains of his mug empty.
'' Should we head back home? '' I asked as we were standing outside of the café. '' Sure.. '' Kaneki spoke, panting a little.

'' Kaneki.. are you alright? '' I asked worried as I stared at the ghoul who's complexion looked slightly more paler then his usual skin tone.
'' Yes, sorry. Don't worry about it. '' He spoke as he looked the other way, refusing me to stare at him again.

We arrived back at my apartment as I dumped all the bags near the wall and dropped myself on the couch,
I was quite weary after a few hours of shopping. After a couple of minutes I decided to empty the bags of groceries,
and place Kaneki's new clothes inside an unused dresser that was across of the bathroom door.

Kaneki got busy with his own bag full of books he bought as he stared at each and every book with a bit more attention
as his smiled happy, contentment expressing in his eyes.

He asked if he could use the bookshelf that was across from the television as he I approved
as he slowly filled the whole entire bookshelf as he stared pleasing at it.
I chuckled softly at the young boy's excitement as I was busy emptying the last bag.

I was storing the bags of frozen vegetables inside the freezer as I grabbed the last item which surprised me as I grabbed a book.
'' Hey Kaneki, I have the book you wanted from Tataski.. ah no, Takatsuki Sen. '' I spoke as I leafed through a few pages.

'' Oh I had wondered in which bag I put that book in too. '' Kaneki spoke as he turned around and walked towards me.
'' It seems it ended up being inside this-'' I spoke before I let out a cry as I stared at my finger.

Blood.
Blood ran over my finger as I had cut myself while leafing through random pages.
'' Shit.. '' I whispered agitated as I grabbed a tissue and held it against the bleeding finger,
but the pain kept on stinging as the cut seemed fairly deep as the tissue had big spots stained from white to red within no time.

'' Amon-san..'' Kaneki spoke as he stood in front of me.
'' Don't worry, it just hurts..quite awfully also. '' I spoke, surprised that a sharp page of paper was able to hurt so much as I kept staring at my bleeding finger.

'' There are a few patches inside the drawer of the TV cabinet Kaneki. Please grab- '' I spoke when my eyes met the gaze
of Kaneki as he stared with wide spread eyes at my finger and mostly at the blood that kept oozing out of the cut as he bit on his lips.

''…..Kaneki. '' I spoke softly, feeling frightened which was audible inside my voice.
Within a split second the boy immediately backed away as he stumbled and fell.

'' Kaneki are you okay? '' I asked as I instinctively approached the boy.
'' STAY BACK! '' Kaneki shouted as he held his hand in the air, making me stop from moving forward as he sat
on his knees and held his hands on his head and slowly started weeping as he quivered in front of me.

'' I'm sorry… I didn't… I swear I didn't mean..too...I'm just…so hungry. ''
Kaneki cried out as he started shivering more and more whilst holding his arms around himself as he held his head downwards, staring at the ground.

My eyes widened in shock as reality hit in on me like a canon hitting its target. All this time I thought by just serving him coffee,
it would've been able to satisfy his hunger for the mean time until I could figure out a way to nurture him.

But giving him coffee wasn't enough.
It did pause his hunger but it is and will never be a substitute of what he really needed,
of what his body was really craving for, what his instincts are telling him, begging him to do. To hunt, and eat meat, to survive properly.

I slowly opened my mouth, knowing that for now.. this had to be the only option.

'' Kaneki.. '' I whispered as I saw the boy slowly rising his head and looking up at me as shock and bewilderment was visible within his face.

I held my finger in front of him as the blood drops were still, but slowly dripping down my finger as the boy's sorrowful
expression slowly made way for that animalistic expression he held just a few moments ago when staring at my finger.

I sat on my knees as I stared at the young ghoul, as I slightly gulped at my decision.
But I knew this had to be done.

'' Come. '' I spoke softly as the boy slightly dropped his mouth as he shook his head.
'' No.. no please… I can't accept such a- ''

'' You have too… For now, until we find another way. '' I spoke in a serious tone.
Kaneki kept staring at me, trembling as he was probably battling his conscious, knowing what I said was right and that he had to do this,
but also not wanting to give in to his urges of hurting and using me at the same time.

He looked away in resentment as he slowly crawled near me, only an inch away from my bleeding finger as the scent
enticed the ghoul's instinct as his Ghoul eye slowly started to appear in his left eye. I looked at him both in fear and fascination at the same time.

He looked at me for one last moment, an uncertain expression visible in his face, questioning whether this was right
for him to do so or not as he furrowed his eye brows in compunction over the current situation.

I took a deep breath and nodded at him, pushing my bleeding finger near his lips.
The boy's eyes jumped right open as he panted, shivering from the scent of the blood as it had stained his lips.
He licked his lips clean as he forcefully grabbed my hand and pushed the bleeding finger inside his mouth as he started licking eagerly.

I groaned slightly as the cut stung by his actions but the boy was not paying attention to his surroundings anymore as he
continued on and on as I was starting to worry whether there would still be blood inside my finger at all after this was over.

Kaneki started to massage the hand of my bleeding finger as he continued to feast as the blood probably kept on coming out of me in that way.
I gasped as the pain intensified in that way but I knew it couldn't be helped, I had to endure this for now.

Moist.
I suddenly saw moist dripping on the floor, but it wasn't red. It was colorless.
I heard a soft sob as the boy's head hung forward again as he had stopped drinking from my finger and slowly pulled it off his mouth.
He kept on trembling as he wiped his tears away but the drops kept on falling on the ground as I stared at them.

'' I'm a monster… '' Kaneki whispered as he continued to sob while sniffing and wiping his tears away as he stared at me, sad and disgusted at the same time.
'' Kaneki..you're not a mons- ''

'' I AM. '' The boy shouted as he refused to look up at me as he remained silent for a few moments.
'' I am.. because.. I want more. '' He spoke softly this time.

'' I'm sorry.. I know I can't possibly ask this from you and I understand if you refuse this but my hunger.. it terrifies me. ''
He spoke as his lips started trembling as his shoulders started shivering.
'' Please, forget what I said.. Just let me be- '' He spoke when his eyes were staring at me so shocked, looking like he had turned into a statue.

I held my right sleeve and pulled it down as my neck looked more exposed.
I slowly tapped with my finger on the exposed area as I nodded my head, letting him know it was okay as I narrowed my eyes.

Kaneki slowly pulled his head near my throat, licking the area he would bite on as I closed my eyes,
fearing of a familiar pain I had felt before when Kaneki bit me on that rainy day, and now he would be doing the same, given permission this time by me.

Teeth dug inside my flesh as I gasped, feeling the pain shoot through my body as Kaneki started sucking my blood away as he pushed his hands
on my arms and intensified his deep gulps.

I panted as I looked up, telling myself again that this was something I had to endure,
and that it would be over soon as I pinched my eyes shut and let out another soft groan of pain, as I bit on my bottom lip.

Tears.
Knowing this was going against his morals and against his respect for me, knowing he was practically speaking misusing me, even if I gave him my permission.
Still, the tears slid down my throat as Kaneki started shivering and sobbing again whilst continuing to suck the blood out of my body,
trying to survive as his instincts commanded him to do so, despite what morality was screaming at him, trying to stop him from doing this.

I softly pulled my hand on his head as I brought my mouth near his right ear.

'' It's okay, drink… Stay alive. '' I spoke softly as the boy continued to shiver and sob as what
seemed like a nod was gestured by his head as he continued to drink my blood.

The pain was still there, but gradually started to stabilize as I looked at the clock for a long moment,
waiting till the young ghoul had nurtured himself, filling himself with me.