Gotham Academy, Counseling Room
Monday
After School

"Hello, My name is Victoria Smith! I'm your guidance counselor/therapist! It's a pleasure to meet you!" She stood up from the armchair by the sofa and offered her hand for a handshake. The new student looked at her hand, but started to shake her hand reluctantly and consciously.

Mrs. Smith smiled, until she realized that the student was uncomfortably standing in the middle of the room. "Oh! Sit, sit! Over there on the sofa!" Mrs. Smith sat down on her armchair while the teenager sat on the couch. Soon, the teen looked comfortable enough to talk to.

"Now, what is your name? Tell me about yourself."


Roy

"So, you think you're falling in love with a girl that first steals and assaults you, and then kisses you?" asks Victoria to the young man laying on the couch. She looks over her notepad to see how he responds.

Roy slowly nodded his head while thinking of all the times he met Jade, or better known as Cheshire. "Yeah," Then he smirked when he remember the time they first kissed, "I'm not sure how, but yeah. I'm starting to think so."

"I don't want you to feel offended by this, but did you hit your head with a wall during your encounters with this woman? I mean," She shook her head in slight disbelief, "She, and I quote, 'kicked my ass, stole my phone, pushed me to a wall, then made out with me', end quote."

Red Arrow didn't get it. "So?"

"So?! That's assault, stealing, and rape... Wait, no. Scratch that. It's not rape if she didn't do it with you, right? ... Never mind, you're good." The guidance counselor pursed her lips and scratches something off her notepad.

"Uhm..." Roy said uncomfortably, "Am I done here? 'Cuz I told my friends I won't take long." Roy looked over at the door.

"Yeah. Sure, you're free to go. But we're not done with this conversation yet, we'll finish it next time."


Clark

"... and it's getting a little uncomfortable whenever we're around each other since, you know, we never really talked much." Clark rambled about his relationship with Conner (but made a few tweaks with his story) and not knowing what to do.

Victoria nodded her head in understanding and curiosity. She coughed and inquired, "Not to upset you or anything, but I need to settle this. Are you gay?"

Clark's mouth fell open. "What?! Why would you think that?!" he bellowed.

"Well, from what you're talking about, you kinda want to be close with Conner."

"I DON'T MEAN THAT KIND OF CLOSE!" He almost scream that he wasn't a pedophile either but he held it back.

"Sorry, sorry. Stupid curiosity. Anyway, maybe you and all of your friends could have a game or movie night?" Mrs. Smith suggested, considering all the kids she needs to talk to are his friends.

The black haired boy calmed down and replied, "Hmmm, that could work... Wait. Ugh, I have to get Bruce to agree with it or it's not happening. Well, maybe I could get Dick to ask him." (Please note that she hasn't met Robin yet and doesn't know he is called Dick.)

Victoria Smith was slowly, but surely, not knowing what to think anymore.


Artemis

"... One second, I hate him, yet the next I feel like I love him. It's crazy, right?" Artemis unloaded some of the things in her mind to the guidance counselor. After a few minutes of coaxing from Mrs. Smith, of course.

Mrs. Smith shook her head. These kids are unbelievable. "Hun, I'm not entirely sure you hate him, but I definitely know you're in love with this guy." Artemis turned wide-eyed. She always denied being in love. But now that someone said it to her face, it was like a punch in the gut. What do you do when someone says you're in love?

You deny everything... again.

"Nononononononono! That can't be right! It's impossible! Urgh! Damn him!" Artemis cried out. She was almost tearing her hair out in frustration and disbelief. "You're kidding right? That can't possibly be true! You're joking!"

"Sweetie, you said earlier that you felt like you love him. I'm sure it's true."

"But-but-but..."

"No buts! Now go out there and kiss that boy!"

"... You know you're pointing to a plant and not the door, right?"

Victoria face-palmed. "Just go!"

"Sorry, but I'm still not kissing him." And Artemis walked out the door.


Kaldur

'One word. Wow.' Thought Victoria Smith when she heard about this boy's supposed 'torture'.

"Can you repeat that again, Kaldur?" She asks incredulously.

Kaldur nodded at her request and summarized what he just said, "My aunt and the girl I like, dressed me and my... cousin... in Cinderella and Snow White dresses." He shuddered when he relived his memory. He was, indeed, scarred for life.

"I'm sorry Kaldur. I have no idea what to say."

'What is wrong with this world?!' Smith wondered.


Conner

"Uhhh... So, Conner, tell me about yourself." Mrs. Smith said to the quiet boy glaring at the door.

"I hate monkeys."

"Oh, well, that's a good start. Why do you hate monkeys?" She asked. The english teacher warned her about Conner's apparent hate in monkeys. Which was a probably good warning.

"Because they're stupid, evil, and wants to take over the world."

"..."

'Maybe monkeys are what's wrong with the world... I now know how to obtain world peace... Kill the monkeys. Kill them all.' The guidance counselor thought to herself.


Wally

"Okay, so I like this girl yet I hate her at the same time," Wally said to his 'therapist' AKA Mrs. Smith. "What the heck is wrong with me?" Victoria's eye widened in shock. This was the boy Artemis must be talking about, right?

"Oh my gosh! You're the boy she was talking about!"

"Uh... what?"

"Wallace, listen to me and listen to me well. J-"

"I'm all ears, babe!" Wally flirted.

"Okay. One, I'm married. Two, Don't try to flirt with me again because it's not happening. Three, Just kiss the girl already!" Smith yelled the last part really loudly, in hope to get the message across.

Alas, Wally was a bit too dense.

"..."

"..."

"... Hey, do you believe in magic?" Wally asks after a long silence.

"Uh, yeah."

"What?! Unbelievable! Get out of my sight!" He pointed to the door.

Victoria just stared at him. It was then, Wally realized that he was the one who went in the room in the first place. He shook his head, "You know what? I'm leaving!"

Wally jumped off the couch and marched to the door. He turned his head to the counselor (he was still walking to the door) and said, "MAGIC IS NOT REAL!" When the speedster turned his head back to it's rightful position...

He crashed into the wall.

"Ow."


Oliver

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation!"

Oliver sung on top of the coffee table using the therapist's pen as a microphone. He was heard in and out of the counseling room. He was also heard by Roy, Wally, and Dick. And the three best friends decided to 'conga line' in while singing,

"Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(Uh-uh-uh-yeah)
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(uh-uh-uh-yeah)
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
(ooh-oh-ooh)"

All the while, Victoria Smith banged her head with her clipboard.


Richard (Dick)

"Hi I'm Victoria Smith!"

"Uh-huh."

"Is your name Richard?"

"Uh-huh."

"... Is your nickname Dick?"

"Uh-huh."

"Do you know a guy named Bruce?"

"Uh-huh."

"Ah-ha! So he isn't gay!"

"Uh-huh."

"Are you gonna say that for the whole meeting?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Oh boy."


John

"As long as you love me
We could be starving, we could be homeless, we could be broke
As long as you love me
I'll be your platinum, I'll be your silver, I'll be your gold
As long as you lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love me (love me)
As long as you lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love me (love me)!"

John was lying on the couch singing to an oreo in his hand. Victoria, as usual, didn't understand the complex, strange, tragic and confusing mind of a superhero. So, like any normal therapist/counselor, she tries to make sense of why the young boy was singing to an oreo.

"John, when you were younger did you witness any tragic events?"

"I watched all of my people get exterminated."

"... Was there an oreo involved? Is that why you're singing to it now?"

"No."

"Then why are you singing to an oreo?!"

"Step to the beat of my heart,
I don't need a whole lot,
But for you I admit I,
I'd rather give you the world,
Or we can share mine,
I know I won't be the first one,
giving you all this attention,
Baby listen,
I just need somebody to love,
I don't need too much, just somebody to love,
Somebody to love.
I don't need nothing else,
I promise girl I swear,
I just need somebody to love.
I need somebody, I need somebody,
I need somebody, I need somebody!"

"I don't see how an oreo is involved in that."


Bruce

"... You have no right to say that!" Bruce yelled. Anger boiled in him. "I failed! I couldn't save them (his parents) and I couldn't even save/take care of him (Dick)! People always get hurt when they get close to me! Every time I try to control things and plan, everything still goes wrong!"

Victoria tried to smooth things over. "Bruce. It's okay to want to feeling control over things, in many situations." Bruce's mouth dropped slightly and his eyes widened in shock of what he just heard. He said, "There's so many things I could say to that... But they don't seem to be appropriate for school. Did you hear what you just said?"

"... You-well-I- You know what? Just shut up."


Zatanna

"Do you belive in magic? Yeah.
Believe in the magic in a young girl's soul
believe in the magic of rock n roll
Believe in the magic that can set you free
Ohhhh, talkin' bout magic!"

Zatanna belted out the song. Smith just groaned, she was so tired of singing.

"Sorry but I gave up on magic. Three hours ago."


Gotham Academy, Principal's Office
Monday
After Counseling

The rest of the counsels went about the same as the ones you have just read. After all the counsels the guidance counselor/therapist named Victoria Smith was really considering wether or not to resign but in the end decided to stay.

Victoria went straight to the principal's desk, once her last counsel was done, she didn't even bother to say hello to Gladys (the desk lady if you've forgotten already). Mrs. Smith stared at Doris Smill.

"If I'm not sane after my next meeting with these kids, I want you to find my will in my computer and give it to my lawyer."

Doris raised one of her eyebrows, but then put a stoic face for her dear old friend. "Will do."


Thank you for all the readers and reviewers! I hope you like this story! :D

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