Disclaimer: i don't own south park or any other copyrighted references.
"Um… could I wait… out here?" Kyle said confidently.
"What's wrong? It's just a gay bar." Damien asked.
"I… know. It's just… Can I wait out here?"
"That's cool little dude." Weird Al interrupted. "We three will go in. just wait out here. Come on Spam and boyfriend."
Kyle sighed with relief and said "Thanks Weird Al. Who's Spam?"
The three walked in. "it's not even clever" Damien mumbled under his breath. Kyle could hear it but he was still confused.
Kyle brushed the thought off. He thought about all spots Big Gay Al could be. The more he thought about, the more he realized how many gay joints there actually were in South Park. Kyle looked around the corner of the building to see two dudes making out. It was to be expected but it still fazed Kyle. He was always fine with gay people. But once they started making out, he couldn't take it. I mean he had kissed two boys on accident… on the same day. He hated that birthday.
"Dam you Kenny." Kyle could barely hear from Stan who was walking past. "Ukulele's aren't even that cool. What am I saying? They're awesome. I didn't even learn anything. Maybe he would actually give me lessons. Hey Kyle. Would he make me pay? …of course he would what am I asking?" Stan stopped walking and turned to face Kyle. "Hey. What you doing outside a gay bar?" Stan asked Kyle.
"Waiting for Damien, Tweek, and Weird Al." Kyle answered.
"Oh… Weird Al?
Before Kyle could answer, a car drove past them blasting out the lyrics "You! I wanna take you to a gay bar! I wanna take you to a gay bar! I wanna take you to a gay bar! Gay Bar!"
The two stood there in front of the gay bar. Neither of them said a word.
"I'm so very sorry Weird Al." Pip's voice said coming out of the gay bar. The group walked out with disappointed faces.
"Well that's ok. We can try somewhere else." Weird Al was truly disappointed.
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid Damien and I have to go"
"Oh that's ok. This guy," "Weird Al put his arm around Kyle. "Can help me. Unless you havta go too."
"No" Kyle said.
"By… Kyle." Stan said and walked off with Damien and Pip. Weird Al and Kyle walked off to the next gay establishment.
-t-
"See you Pip." Damien said really sad like.
"I'll only be thinking of you" Pip said with a smile and kissed Damien on the head.
Pip walked down the street only showing his sadness when his back was facing Damien.
Damien shut the door once he could no longer see Pip. If Pip can be confident, then so can I. Damien thought.
-t-
"Gah! Be careful!" Tweek waved goodbye to Craig. "Irish underpants gnomes are worse than American ones!"
"Craig stopped walking. He turned around and said "Pip's British."
"What! He's British? Gah. Well… What! Bye!" Tweek had no idea how he planned that sentence to come out.
Craig Smiled, Turned around, and walked off to Damien again.
-t-
Craig saw Pip walk down the cross walk heading for Tweek's house. Craig thought about how he was gunna beat up Pip if he hurt Tweek in any way (that included calling him names). Then he thought about how Pip would try to make Tweek drink tea and they would start fighting over which one was better. Craig giggled at the thought. He made sure Pip couldn't tell what he was doing.
"Hey." Pip waved as he walked past.
"Have fun." Craig waved back, not looking at Pip.
"Ditto."
-t-
"Hi Tweek." Pip says happily.
"Gah! Hi Pip!" Tweek just stood there awkward not sure what to do.
"Uh… Can I come in?" Pip asked.
"Oh. Ya." Tweek moved from the middle of the door.
"I'll put your… stuff in my room!" Tweek took the bags and went up the stairs. About half way up, he fell and toppled all the way to the bottom of the staircase. Pip ran over but Tweek got up and went up the stairs as if nothing had happened. Pip decided to put the incident in the back of his mind.
Pip looked around the living room. It had a white carpet with only one coffee stain. Pip was amazed by this. It was Tweek after all. When Tweek came back, Pip took that moment from the back of his head and asked. "Are you ok Tweek. That was quite a fall."
"Oh Gah! I'm….. ok." Tweek answered.
"Do you by chance need some coffee?"
"No. If I have some now, I won't be able to sleep." Tweek stared at Pip not saying anything.
"…Is something the matter?"
"No."
"Um…"
"Oh! I mean yes! What time do you go to bed? Gah. I'm sorry! I'm just really tired."
"Oh. Ok… I understand. I can go to bed anytime." Pip moved from Tweek's line of view.
The door bell ringed. Pip sighed that there was someone else here.
Pip went to open the door. He said "Oh hi Clyde."
"Hi Pip. Just making sure your hear and Craig isn/ is Tweek bleeding?" Craig said.
"I'm Ok!" Tweek yelled.
"Where's your band aids? We should clean that cut up."
"Wow Clyde." Pip started. "How… girly." Pip said bluntly. Pip was too tired to hold his tough.
Clyde just stood there frozen.
Pip started to freak out that he had something upsetting. "It's just… Clyde..."
Clyde stood there in silence. Eventually he moved to the front door and said "Everything looks in order here." And he left.
"What time is it?" Tweek said lifelessly.
Pip looked at his watch and replied "about 9:40. Why?"
Tweek collapsed onto the floor.
"Oh dear lord Tweek!" Pip yelled and he ran over to Tweek. He found Tweek just sleeping. Pip looked around to see no one to help him. He decided to drag him to his bed. Pip lifted the sleeping boy onto his back to see that he was actually quite light.
Once Pip got him up to his room, which was quite messy, he saw Tweeks PJs on the floor. Pip looked at them and decided that it was best just to put him under the covers.
Pip went down stairs to the couch and also went to bed without changing. It had been a long day and he just wanted to be by Damien, not on this couch alone.
-t-
Token and Cartman walked up to Pip's door. Token knocked and Cartman opened the door on his own.
"Hm. They forgot to lock the door." Token mentioned as they walked in.
Damien yelled at Craig "Know what! When you die and go to hell, I give you an amazing cup of tea that will make you admit tea is better and then give you the blandest tea we have for the rest of your insignificant after life!"
"That's right." Craig replied. "I guess coffee is just too good to serve in hell isn't it?" Damien had fire in his eyes.
Cartman interrupted with "Cut off fags. We're here to check on things."
"What a cute couples quarrel." Token added.
"Well I guess the other two are gone. I guess you're in the clear. But shouldn't you two make up with a kiss?" Cartman said.
The two boys gave Cartman death glares.
"I just thought that's what a real couple would do. If you don't want the tickets, I can tell Tweek and Pip. After they tried so hard to get along."
Craig gave Damien a peck on his left cheek. "That's all you're getting Cartman."
"I guess that's enough… for now." And with that, Cartman and Token left.
After that, Damien said "well good night. I'll take the couch."
"No I'll take the couch." Craig replied and sat down on the couch.
"No you're the guest. Just go to the bed."
"No. I'm sleeping on the couch!"
"Well so am I!"
The stubborn boys ended up both laying the same way on the couch (which was smaller than the bed.)
"…Good night!" Damien yelled angrily.
"Ditto!" Craig replied equally angry.
