xXx

xXx

More sake. That's all she wanted. Why was Shizune being such a jerk about it? It wasn't that hard. Just keep the sake coming. But nooo "You've had too much to drink Tsunade-sama!!" It was like that was all Shizune could say.

"FINE! God DAMN it! I won't have any more to drink! Just get me a damn bill." Tsunade shouted at Shizune.

"A-a bill?" Shizune asked confused. "For the sake? You already bought it."

"No! A bill! To make a law! Go get me one!"

"I don't think that's a good idea Tsunade-sama," Shizune started.

"NOW!!"

Shizune went and got one.

"Now let's see…" Tsunade muttered, staring blearily at the small print. "Villagers must treat Uzumaki Naruto like hero… proof… three times… or DIE!" She scrawled something onto the bill, then signed it with a flourish. Thinking as carefully as someone with the amount of alcohol in their blood as she did could think, she added, "No… tell… Naruto."

"Tsunade-sama, you can't make a law now! You're completely drunk! Give that to me and rethink it in the morning!" Shizune wailed.

"SHUT UP, SHIZUNE!!" Tsunade yelled, slamming her hand down on the table. "I am tired of everyone in this damn village treating Naruto like a monster! The Fourth said he wanted Naruto to be treated like a hero! So now they have to. This isn't even my law really, it's the Fourth's. It's the goddamn Fourth's final law!"

"It's not fair," Tsunade continued quietly. "He's one of the best people I know, but people act like he's about to turn on them and kill everyone. So they act preemptively and hurt him. But he still just quietly lets them and goes on with his life. He doesn't have to! He has more power and is more dangerous than they even guess. But he does. And he shouldn't have to. And from now on he won't."

Shizune looked like she was about to burst into tears, but held her tongue.

Smiling evilly, Tsunade looked down at the bill she held clenched in her hand. "They'll treat him like a hero now…"

xXx

"Um, Naruto-kun?" Hinata poked her head around the doorway. Maybe he's asleep. Maybe I should come back later.

"Huh? Who is it?" Naruto looked around curiously.

Okay, I guess not. Just remember to follow the script. "Since you missed your birthday, do you want to go to Ichiraku's with me? My treat." Play it cool. You can do this. Hinata smiled nervously. "Uh, hi, Naruto-kun."

"Oh, Hinata! Hi! Why are you here?"

Perfect opportunity. Say it now! "Uh," she started, her traitorous face heating up, "Since, since, um, since you missed, wait-,"

Oh crap, you're screwing it up! You screw everything up! "I mean, your birthday, since you're in the hospital, I mean,"

Naruto cocked his head at her, looking confused. "Since what?" he asked.

See? He can't even understand you! YOU can't even understand you! "I mean, you're in the hospital, so your birthday couldn't have been very good."

Oh good going Hinata. Point out the obvious. Nooo…. He liked getting hurt enough to go to the hospital. "I mean, so if you wanted to have your birthday over again…"

Naruto started looking worried. Oh great. You scaring him! What is wrong with you? It's just a couple of sentences!

"I just meant, um, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO ICHIRAKU'S WITH ME?!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, trying to drown out her thoughts.

Looking vaguely shocked, Naruto opened his mouth to speak, but Hinata beat him to the punch. She slowly arced forward and fell onto the ground in a dead faint. Oh thank God, were her final conscious thoughts.

"Hinata? Hinata, are you okay?" Naruto stared down at the floor. "Hinata?"