Charlie's Day

11:45 Wakes up
11:52 Wakes up again
12:03 1st beer
12:04 Brushes teeth with beer and glue(1)
12:06 Huffs glue
12:13 Eats Frank's cold, burnt, forgotten toast(2)
12:48 Arrives at Paddy's
12:49 2nd beer
01:10 Charlie Work
01:59 Lunch break(3)
02:24 3rd beer
02:31 Charlie Work
03:16 Coffee break(4)
06:00 Visits the thrift store
06:27 Buys used fake mustache, stained lab coat, and a dubious set of silver plate
07:35 Arrested(5)
10:33 Fails escape attempt #4, knocked unconscious by someone named Jose(6)
12:20 Charges dropped, subsequently released
12:42-03:05 4th-17th beers
04:44 Passes out in bed(7)
04:57 Vomits

(1)The glue was accidental, the beer was not.
(2)Might not have been toasted, but it was hard. There was nothing identifiable as living, so Charlie thought it was safe.
(3)The mixed nuts might have been more rock than lunch, but it was close to the right time, so it qualified as lunch.
(4)He did not actually drink any coffee. He ordered one, stared at the waitress until he was kick out, then when back to Paddy's. The rest of the break was spent sleeping in the second bathroom stall.
(5)The circumstances behind this are uncertain. Charlie never explained it to anyone, but the gang believes that his purchases earlier had something to do with it. Only one piece of silver plate was found.
(6)All the escape attempts involved tunneling out, but it was trying to rip out the toilet ala Prison Break that did him in. Jose just had to pee.
(7)Charlie had perfected the art of passing out. He always did it face down, more off the bed than on it. This was to prevent himself from choking on his own vomit. It did not help with the bed-wetting.


Notes: Yeah. I had to write this. It's how I imagine one of Charlie's normal days would go. I had fun with the foot notes. I was going to write this as a normal fic, but liked the list format. Plus, it allowed some mystery as to what really happened. Maybe one day I'l write the story of the arrest and the escape attempts. That would be fun. Also, the title is a bad pun, but I had to do that, too.