7 Deadly Sins of Joseph Anza
Joseph Anza has been a naughty boy. A collection of fanfics showing the 7 Deadly Capital Sins.
Like I said, unexpected pairings. I'm all for it. XD If you don't like the pair, just say so, but don't flame me. I'd rather a mature criticism than a bashing, immature flame.
And the oneshots are not related. If you think they are, fine. But I didn't intend them to be, aight? This one's gonna be a bit lighthearted, but still a bit... sentimental and dramatic at parts.
Oh, and remember:
I do not own Fillmore! and any of its characters. What I'm writing is merely a time passer and a medium of entertainment for the readers. I will not be responsible for people that read content that they are not to read, because I will state directly what things you can expect from the fanfic.
ENVY
"Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own."
"So, what was life like here back then?" Ingrid asked, playing with Joseph's bluish-black hair. "I mean, before I got here."
"Mmm, not any better than it is now." he said, kissing her neck, which earned him a few giggles and a kiss back. They were seated under a tree in near the school pier, which was their special place.
"Safety patrol love! Get that!" yelled a pretty girl with brown hair and deep blue eyes. The geeky kid beside her took their picture and scurried off.
"What in the bloody hell?" Ingrid said, raising an eyebrow.
Joseph sighed. "Georgina Slater. Always following me around because I busted her once for trying to sabotage the school newspaper in order for her to start her own. God, I don't get it. She coulda just signed up to work for the paper. Now she runs the school gossip website, which, no one else knows is her."
"X Marks the Gossip Spot. Weak name. But hey. Why do you know?"
He laughed. "That's another reason why. I saw her working on it in the computer lab, and she freaked. I promised I wouldn't tell, but I can trust you, I'm sure. So now she's prying into every affair I have and every mistake I make and publicizing it."
She stared at him. "And you don't mind?"
He chuckled. "Nah. I got nothing to hide. Besides, I wanna let the world know I've got the best girl out there as mine."
She pushed his arm playfully. "Aww, that's so sweet." She pushed him down and kissed him. She pulled off a little later, and lay down beside him. "So talk. Who were you with before me?"
He frowned, turning his head towards her. "Why?"
"Well, I want to know who to watch out for. I don't intend to share you anytime soon."
He blushed. "Well, there's Lianne Green, a cheerleader who was just too clingy. Audrey Klein, member of the Fashion Club, and a relative of Anne Klein, but we didn't work out because I moved from New York to here. Um, Christy Archer, a beautiful Spanish girl, but she was just here for a month. And then there's... a special relationship with..." he trailed off, turning his head up towards the tree branches.
"Who?" She gripped his hand.
"Er... I don't think you'll like me if I tell you." he said, looking the other direction.
"Oh come on, Joe. It was the past. I'm not going to judge you for that." she said, rolling over to her front.
"Oh, fine. Just don't laugh and don't interrupt." he groaned. "I told no one about this, and he didn't either."
Ingrid's jaw dropped. He? Of all people, Joseph was the last person she expected to like... guys. She found some gay guys hot(don't tell), but her own boyfriend was a different story. Not that he wasn't hot, but it was just weird to think about.
"Oh, come on! You're kidding. No. You are." She earned a glare. "Okay, you aren't. But who? Come on, I'm sure he's pretty hot."
He rolled his eyes and sat up. "It's Wayne. Wayne Legitt." He raised his hand, indicating to her that he wanted to be finished before she should say anything. She understood, and kept quiet. "He was my best friend back then, until Fillmore came along, at least. I was going to be his partner since Danya Wesley quit. She wanted to 'pursue further and better endeavors,' that's why. Then Fillmore joined the force. I was envious. I mean, I liked Fillmore. He was a nice guy. But because Wayne and I were tight, then it was him and Fillmore, and I kind of started ignoring him. He tried getting to me, but I didn't want to talk. I guess I missed him a lot.
Finally, he found me sitting at the docks one night, trying to clear my head. I'd forgotten that he knew where I loved to be at when I was stressed. That time, he heard that my grandparents passed away. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. My grandparents were the people I loved to talk to. I barely ever saw them. I guess I was just sad to see them go. Nothing hits me like my family, Ingrid.
So he talked to me."
"Hey." said a very familiar voice. He kicked a rock. "I was hoping to have... found you here." he said, nervously.
Joseph didn't reply. He just stared out at the quiet lake, watching the lights play on the dark water. He enjoyed the serenity of the area. With Wayne around, it was practically impossible to focus on the quietness of the lake. He felt a hand grip his shoulder, and stiffened.
"J, I know you're mad. You've been avoiding me too much. Listen, I... need to talk to you."
Joseph remained silent. Wayne knew he was listening, and tried to pretend he wasn't. He sighed in exasperation. "Joseph, please say something. I know you're listening. Please, just talk to me. I need you."
Joseph's head turned slightly, and he cocked his head towards the direction of the rocks. They walked and sat on a rock each.
"So... I heard about your grandparents. I'm so--"
Joseph sliced a hand through the air. "Sorry? Where were you when I needed a friend? I was alone facing my pain. I kept myself as strong as I could outside, but when I was alone, I cracked. I couldn't take it, but I forced myself. Where were those words of reassurance, even though they're cliché? I needed those, no matter how useless it seemed."
Wayne bit his lip. "I know, I've been a crappy friend. I just..." he sighed. "I don't know. I can't explain my feelings for you."
Joseph raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"Wait, what? He said that? Oh my God. How old were you then?"
"Twelve. Believe that. I don't get it, why we were "too mature for our years," as Dad put it, but we were. Must've been all the seriousness of the things we were trying to fix as Safety Patrollers. Anyway, he told me stuff. Stuff I never thought I'd hear from him. It led me to wonder, who was this Wayne? I didn't know who was talking."
"J. You know I care for you. I'm always here. When Fillmore came along, I just needed time off. I don't know. I grew too attached to you, and I needed to get away. I wanted to talk to you, but I was afraid to say something... that could hurt you."
"Wayne, I can take care of myself. I've withheld more pain than you think."
"I didn't want to make it any worse. I know you've had a rough year. And... I'm afraid it's going to get worse."
Joseph's face turned into a look of disgust. "What the hell, Wayne, what the hell? Just tell me what you want to say!"
He sighed. "J, I'm moving. Next year. To Tennessee. I don't want to. But I have to."
Joseph threw a rock into the water. "Great, just what I need. I'm losing everyone. God, what is wrong with me? I am such a loser. I think I should go buy a life. Because I'm not using mine."
"J, don't say that." Wayne said quietly. "You'll always have a special place in me. Trust me. Why do you think I'm telling you all this? J, I care for you. More than you would ever know. J, I think I care for you more than I know." he said, his voice breaking at the last sentence. "J, I don't know why, but I can't let you go."
Joseph was shocked by the statement. He slowly neared his friend, and embraced him. They both needed it. He felt Wayne breaking down in his arms, and allowed him to lean on him. Wayne was always the one who made him laugh. Ever since they were kids, neighbors, in fact. They annoyed their parents to the limit, and knew how to sneak out of trouble and charm their parents. They made ridiculous jokes and would laugh about it for hours. Never did he see Wayne so... broken.
"You see, this is why I needed you. I wanted someone to talk to. Mom and Dad are divorcing. Only you would understand. Fillmore doesn't know them so well." he said, in between sobs. "I don't know why I feel so strongly about this. Maybe--"
"Shh." said Joseph, placing a finger on his lips. "Enough talking. I think... it's just that misery likes company better than words." he said, smiling.
Wayne smiled back.
"And Wayne did the unthinkable. God, if anyone saw us, we were screwed. Patrollers, are not allowed to have same-sex relationships. Others were, but I'm not giving up my position. I worked too hard for it. But I guess we both needed it. I... guess we just missed each other."
"Oh my God, Joe. He kissed you? So was he your first?" Ingrid asked, a little hesitant.
"No." he assured. "It was Audrey."
Wayne looked into his crystal eyes. One of the most enchanting features about his friend. He saw calmness. He saw him, relieved to find a friend back. Joseph was about three inches taller, so he pulled his head down to meet his lips.
Ingrid grinned sheepishly. "So how was he?"
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Well... let's just say, whoever kisses him next is a lucky girl."
"Or guy." added Ingrid, whose eyes sparkled mischievously. "I'm envious, Anza."
"No one kisses like you, I." he assured, inching closer to her. Mmm. He loved Ingrid's cologne, or whatever it was. It was a mix of rose and sandalwood, as far as he knew. It was the girliest thing she had, because she was not very girly. She wasn't a tomboy either. She was more of a gothic girl. And he loved that about her. She was unique.
"Can I start calling you J too?" she asked. "Joseph is such a mouthful."
Joseph pretended to be hurt. "Excuse me? Ingrid takes longer to pronounce!"
"Whatever, both six letters, both two syllables. We're a match, so neither is."
"You win. Come on, let's get inside. Looks like Vallejo's looking for you." he said, gesturing to the window. Vallejo was mouthing off to Fillmore, most likely because of more breakages. Ingrid laughed.
"Never heard you laugh so much, I."
"Well, some part of Wayne was left on you. The ability to make people laugh. You make me smile like no other. And you have Wayne to thank for that." she said, emphasizing his name. "You should call him."
"Here. Take it. Open it whenever you want. I don't care when. I'll just be waiting for you."
Joseph stared blankly at the year-old envelope. Would he keep his word? He slid his finger through the seal, and pulled out the paper inside. It was a folded note. He took a breath before opening it. He and Wayne could not keep in touch. He barely used the computer, and hardly had the time to write. Now that he had the time, maybe he could start.
He unfolded the note, written in his neat, small handwriting.
Hey. So I'm leaving today. I really don't want to. I hope... you forgive me for being such a jerk. I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention to you when you needed me. You were always there for me, and I thought you weren't. I just hope you understand that you've become a part of me. A part I need to let go but can't. You'll never be my past. No matter where I am, I'll always think of you as more than a best friend. You're a special friend. The most important one. J, I've never met anyone that changed me the way you changed me.
We can't be together, and I've accepted that. It's against so many things that we took an oath to stand for. But I can't fight what I feel. J, I just can't help it. I don't know. I just... care for you. Too much. Too much for my own good. You're taking over me, but it's not your fault. I find you perfect in every way. Those eyes of yours haunt me. So expressive, so... you. I know what you feel. You say nothing, but your eyes tell the story. They remind me of a cold winter night, my favorite season. That icy shade is just... alluring. I guess that's how this stuff goes. Remember when we used to make fun of the mismatches we thought our parents were? Well, now I get it. Imperfection is perfection when you love, and for the record, know I love you, and always will.
This sounds so funny, since I've known you since K-class. Wow, that all seems so long ago. It's as if I were looking into a past life. Maybe I am, because things change so much, and so fast. Too fast. Pretty soon we'll be going to Harvard, checking out girls at bars, dating, eventually marrying and having kids. I don't know what the future will bring me. I just hope it'll be as great as or better than the memories I've had there. My room is bare as I'm writing this. It just hurts to see it. I feel like a part of my life was stripped away from me. It was too soon to move. I can't do this. I can't leave. If only I could stay. But I can't. God, I've never cried this much since first grade, when my first tooth was pulled out! I suppose it was funny to my mom. I was a crazy kid, as you know. I jumped off playground sets, stood on the swings, and rollerbladed down that scary slope. Man.
Well, no matter where I am, this'll always be home. Always.
There's only so much to say. I love saying hellos, but goodbyes are just so painful. I never want to say goodbye to you. I know we'll probably cross paths sooner or later, but then again, we can never be. And things will never be the same. I'm scared to let go of the past and what we never were. It hurts. So much. Oh, God. I'm missing you already. Promise me you'll take care of yourself. Find a girl. Don't be afraid to love. Enjoy your life. That'll make me happier.
Joseph Aspen Anza. We'll see each other again. With a heavy heart, I'm closing this letter. I'm afraid I'm running short of ink, paper, and time. I hope the ink lasts till the end. Just as our friendship.
WNL.
P.S. You still owe me fifty bucks!
My envy lost me a friend. But in the end, it all worked out. I have a beautiful girlfriend, a better life, good grades. Life just couldn't get any better. Sure, I missed him. Wayne was everything I wanted to be. In envy, I guess I tried too hard to be better than him. But I wound up spending time with him, and he became a friend to me. When he and Fillmore became best friends, I got envious. I ignored him. I just focused on myself. I wanted to prove myself better than them. But I lost. And things went down from there. My grandparents died, my grades slipped, I became detached... I hurt myself. And by hurting myself I hurt others.
I envied Wayne. But then I realized his life was no easier than mine. Guess I was too judgmental. My envy. My fall.
We are sometimes blinded by our own envy. We don't realize that we too have qualities that other people wish to have. We want so badly to be someone else that it becomes an obsession. We jump to conclusions in our envy. Envy is inevitable. But we just need to control our actions, before envy turns to rage, rage to violence, and violence to destruction.
