standard disclaimer applied


the repentance

By moving the stopped time, I can see you again. I'm putting an end to these repetitive tomorrow.


Lucy often woke up drenched in a cold sweat, body shaking inanimately and skin cold. She felt like she had just got ice-cold water thrown at her in her sleep. But she knew it was hardly the case. Her room was too deep under the ground for someone to accidentally stumble to and the person bringing her food would never do more than placing her food on the floor and go with a scoff. She knew her dreams made her so.

Usually, and frequently, her dream consisted of dark space that seemed endless, much more alike to the situation when she awoke, but sometimes she would dream of something else. The dreams wouldn't always clear–it left hazy and confusing taste when she woke up. She would also forget what the dream was about, which made her preferred dreaming black, dreaming nothing.

But this time, Lucy awoke drenched in a cold sweat, body shaking inanimately and skin cold and she remembered her dream. It was terrifying to say the least. She dreamed of getting out of her room, walking around the building and gathering dust on her feet and met something.

That something was tearing something's flesh and thick liquid dripping down its mouth. And then it was snuggling into her hands, into her neck–she felt the liquid sticking to her neck. And then, she saw him.

The dream was too real and she didn't like it.

Yet now, as she scanned her surroundings and found darkness enveloping her, she was relieved to the core. It was only a dream.

[Lucy…]

Lucy… was her name. Lucy was her name, and she adored it, but having no one calling her name, she could forget it quickly as time passed her like a blur. Although just now she could almost hear someone calling for her.

But that couldn't be. The foodman didn't know her name and never did once bother himself to try make conversation with her.

She closed her eyes, diving through her memories and found herself remembering how the owner of the voice said her name. Deep, baritone voice and it shook a little as if stunned. Why would the speaker stunned? Why did it sound like in nostalgia? Why would the speaker reminiscing?

Except–

Lucy opened her eyes and memories flooded into her mind. She saw, saw a glimpse of a man, rebellious hair with soft color and a pair of deep, dark eyes. She remembered him closing in to her–or was it her that closed in to him?–and he leaned into her. That time. Several hours ago, perhaps. Or days? Or– how long had she been sleeping…?

Reality came crashing down at her.

It wasn't a dream.

It wasn't a dream.

She was awake now, more sober and certainly more aware of her surroundings in the darkness. The cobblestone floor was never felt this soft and her blanket around her now was too thick and warm in comparison to the dirty rag. Lucy forced herself to sit, wobbling at the wave of dizziness, and eyes darted around the… the room.

It wasn't her room. Where was she? Whose room was this? Who– Who brought her here?

To examine it more, Lucy could feel the difference between her room underground and this one. This was drier and warmer, had a nice scent of wood and ash, and she could hear a faint croaked chirp somewhere.

As her eyes had been trained to see in the darkness, she could see a cloth hung on the wall. It fluttered lightly and she was wondering what could it be that hide behind. She found her strength and forced herself to climb down the soft surface to the floor. She felt another set of soft, thick cloth under her bare feet and it stretched all the way to the fluttering cloth.

Her hand stretched cautiously to the cloth, hesitant to her action, but she let her curiosity get the best of her this time. She yanked it and found it moved to the side before something shot her that made the darkness melted away.

Bright and her eyes burned.

It took her some time to blink away tears that formed as soon as her eyes got into a contact with the alien element. She never knew that light would be so bright it hurt her eyes. As she felt her eyes adjust, she then experimentally opened her eyes only to find herself gawking at the scenery.

Blue stretched high up there, seemed endless and wide. Something white and fluffy-looking thing hung there, or floated there, and it slowly, lazily moved. On the lower level, several meters beneath her, she saw green, damp and green.

She leaned out so far that she almost lost her balance and get herself thrown out the window–it was a curtain, she finally remembered. And those perched on the railings were bird, a flying animal that mostly ate seeds.

It was all beautiful and she found a smile bloomed on her face. She was excited.

There was a knock and a sound of a door creaking open before a figure stepped in. She glanced from her shoulders, opening the window wider to see the figure. But before she knew it, the window slammed shut and darkness hugged her again. The figure, the man, was now a step away from her. Her eyes saw the same dark eyes and she instantly recognized him.

"You can't open the window carelessly here," he said. His eyes stared deep into her and she felt her knees trembled. He put his hand, rough and calloused hand on her cheek and she felt warm. She saw his smile, almost like a grin, but eyebrows raised helplessly. "I'm a vampire, remember?"

Vampire. She blinked in confusion. "Na-me?" She croaked out before coughing roughly. The man quickly shoved a glass of water which she took it immediately. Perhaps she needed to take it slow before she could talk fluently again.

"Lucy?" She heard he said her name, and watched as he eyed her with something akin to disappointment, sadness, confusion. There was a hint of nostalgia on its edge. She perked up, cocking her head to the side and blinked profusely. "It's me! Don't you–" He stopped, closing his mouth in haste.

Don't you– what? She wanted to ask him, but then, he sighed heavily, like a ton of bricks suddenly fell on his shoulder. She eyed him again, and she couldn't read them. There was more than sadness and nostalgia, some feelings she didn't know its name, some negative feelings.

His hand left her cheek, now gripping her forearm tightly. She would have winced, but she steeled herself. This man was angry now, judging from his knitted eyebrows, and she didn't dare to make the smallest move or to hint him that it hurt her.

"Lucy, it's me," he whispered, "don't you… don't you remember?"

She was stunned. Was she supposed to remember him? Cold sweat slowly formed on her neck, on her back, on her forehead. Her body felt cold, not even his warm hand could defrost it.

"Don't you remember me?"

Who?

Who are you?

Am I supposed to remember you? Who are you? Who–

"Please…"

Who am I?

[I think God detests me…]

[Lucy!]

"Uh…"

Her head was heavy and her breath came in rough pants. It seemed as if she was gasping for air, as if her lungs had stopped working and refused the oxygen. She staggered, leaned back to the window. She saw more darkness, dark spots swimming around her sight and she closed her eyes.


When she woke up, she immediately saw the man and she praised herself that his hair was in a rare color of salmon. He sat beside her and it took her some moment to feel his hand around hers. She blinked sleepily and eyes him drowsily. Now that there was light around her instead of the darkness, she could see his figure in detail.

Sharp jaw line and fair skin, if not slightly tan, and lips set in a grim thin line. He was dressed in a simple white shirt, two top buttons unbuttoned and black trousers. His hair was messy, messier than she last saw him moments ago.

Something clicked in her head, but it was forgotten as soon as it came.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, breaking the stillness around them. "I shouldn't have done that, I didn't know you just woke up and I thought–" He cut himself to let out a sigh. Lucy now chased away the trace of sleepiness–she had slept too much it dizzied her–and struggled to sit. He helped her wordlessly and she offered him a small, shy smile. "How are you feeling?" He asked at last.

"Bet-….-ter," she replied groggily. "Whe-re…?"

She felt his grip around her hand tightened at her question. "It's my house, you– you're safe here, don't worry," he replied, explained slowly. "I'm not going to turn you to them."

'Them' who? Safe?

"Safe? From wha-t? Fr-om who?"

Something akin to sadness crossed his face again. "Did you know some-thing?" She asked and he flinched visibly.

"You– I-I think you deserve some explanation." His lips tugged downwards into a grim line and Lucy wondered what happened. "You are… You have been locked in that building for a long time, longer than you think. The priest decided that. Makarov Dreyar was his name and we– we kind of acquaintance.

"The reason was obvious–to keep you safe, but I'm not, I should not tell you from what, from whom. Just–" A sigh. "I'll tell you more when you are better. For now, you should eat and shower, yeah. Shower first, eat second. I'll fetch someone to help you."

He gave a gentle squeeze to her hand before walking to the door. "Um!" He stopped, turning his head to her and raise an eyebrow. "Y-our name?"

If Lucy's eyes weren't able to see in the darkness, she would have missed the tightening jaw that passed in a split second. He smiled at her, but his eyes were hollow and she was wondering why. "Natsu."

"Nat-su…" She repeated and he was gone. Somehow she felt content at how his name rolled out of her mouth.


"What a unique birthmark you have, Lucy-sama!" Coco chirped as she brushed Lucy's long hair in front of a mirror. She watched her reflection in the mirror, at first almost not recognizing the girl staring back at her. She had a golden hair, long that it touched the floor, a pair of light brown eyes and pale skin. That girl, she almost couldn't believe it, was her.

And then, according to Coco, there was this birthmark on her forehead. A crescent-shaped birthmark that seemed too hard to ignore by its green color. Small as it was, Lucy couldn't help but noticed how it seemed more vibrant in her pale complexion.

"And you have a beautiful hair, Lucy-sama! Would you want me to braid it?" Coco asked, excitement adorned her dark brown eyes. Lucy nodded slowly, imagining that if she let it loose it would drag on the floor. "You're just like Rapunzel! Natsu-sama can be your knight! And then, you two will live happily forever!" She sighed dreamily. "What a romantic fairy tale!"

Fairy tale, Lucy thought, only existed in children's books. The reality was far from a fairy tale, but she didn't want to disappoint the young girl as she nodded, feigning agreement.

Some minutes later, the braid was done and she was quickly pushed out her room by Coco. "Natsu-sama must have waited for you in the dining room!" She said while Lucy struggled to stand straight on the high-platform-ed shoes. The dress wrapped around her was lighter than it looked as it fluttered around with every move she made. She fingered her dress nervously.

Coco eyed her from hair to toes, scrutinizing before nodded in satisfaction. "Oh, right! You don't know where the dining room is! Coco will escort you!" She pulled her hand and led the way.

Lucy decided it was impossible to dislike her.


Fragments of memory slowly made their way to her. It occurred when she was in the middle of having lunch with Natsu. Nausea hit her hard. She struggled to keep down the food she had consumed–she was not going to puke and made a mess. The dizziness, though, was pretty difficult to ignore. Like vertigo, Lucy saw the dining table and Natsu, who stood and walked to her, rotating slowly. She blinked and the rotation repeated.

She finally cradled her head in hands, willing the surroundings to stop moving to no avail. Beside her, Natsu crouched, and she felt his hand on hers, slowly taking them off from her head. "Diz-zy," she muttered slowly, as talking only made it worse.

"It's okay," he mumbled and helped her to stand. Her knees were weak, and before she knew it, she had fallen to the floor. She hardly realized when he started carrying her as she had shut her eyes to feel less of the spinning. She felt warm and she knew she wanted to snuggle into it, to Natsu. It felt nice somehow.

The hard and warm sensation soon changed into soft and fluffy. She cracked open her eyes and saw the same scenery when she first woke up. It was her room, well-lit and warm with soft-colored walls and wooden furniture. Beside her was Natsu, sitting on the bedside. His hand was gripping hers tightly, just like he did when she passed out before.

"You should have told me if you're not feeling well." His voice was hard and tight, rigid, but thickly-coated with concern. His eyes narrowed in a way she had never seen before. Sadness, fear, and concern bundled into one. She could only stare at him with half-lidded tired eyes and mouthed an apology.

Natsu closed his eyes and sighed, and when he opened his eyes, she was relieved to see they had softened. "No, I should have brought your food here instead forcing you to eat with me. I'll call the doctor to see if you need medication."

He made a move to stand, his hand left hers and warmth disappeared. She didn't like it. Lucy immediately stretched her hand and managed to tug him on the hem of his shirt.

Don't go.

She realized a moment later that her eyes were burning, now brimming with water as she made an effort to not let it fall. She bit her lips anxiously when he turned to her.

Stay.

Please.

And he sat. She closed her eyes and felt lips touching her fingers. She cracked open her eyes for the last time to see him kissing her hand before succumbing the darkness.


[Child, you have to repent your sins… Repent, or you will be exiled.]

Bzzzt–

[Devil! Evil being!]

[Mira-nee!]

zzzt zz zzz

[We have no other choice–]

[Let me out! Let me out! I'm sorry!]

[Darkness will have you, let us devour you.]

zzzzzzzzzt

[I think God detests me…]

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt

She woke up with a jolt. Her eyes frantically moving around, she studied the place, she studied that the darkness was no longer there. She realized she could see, she wasn't blind, she wasn't blind. It was her room, she was with Natsu, she wasn't locked anymore.

Lucy calmed down when she noticed Natsu sitting beside her bed with arm crossed and head slightly bowed. He was sleeping, the constant raise and fall chest told her that much. To think about that, how long had she been asleep? Something told her that it was evening already–was she out for that long?

Natsu mumbled something incoherent before eyes slowly opening up. He looked at her, noticing that she was awakened already, although her eyes were still half-lidded. Still, she forced herself to sit and, once again, he helped her. A glass of water was what she really needed right now and as if on cue, Natsu offered her one.

"I remembered something," she started slowly, softly. "I was locked… by Father Ma-karov. He told me to repent, he told me that he had no other choice…"

"Go on," he said.

Lucy reached for his hand, feeling warmth and she felt calm. "Someone said that I am a devil– that I am evil and must be purified. Natsu, am I–" She stopped. Her eyes downcast and smile lifted in a forced one. A pitying smile–she pitied herself for unknown reason. "It's t-rue, isn't it? I- I understand now. I'm a monster."

As the word rolled out her mouth, she suddenly remembered a little girl and an old man talking about monsters and hunting. Silver… bullet.

"You're not a monster!"

"I must be!" She raised her voice to match his outraged one–she didn't know where she got the energy, the courage from. She was screaming. "Otherwise, they wouldn't have locked me! I– I should… I should go back–"

"Lucy–"

"I belong there! I'm not supposed to be here! The h-hunter must be looking for me and I will be killed here, y-you will be killed, too."

Part of her was scared, and the other was furious. She didn't know how words could easily blurt out, she didn't know what she was thinking, and she didn't know why she was feeling vulnerable. All of it felt like a blur to her, and so many things passed in and out of her head she thought it would explode somehow.

She didn't know how the human brain worked or how memories stored within, but she could feel a barrier somewhere inside her. A barrier made of thorny vines with something dark, something ferocious, nestled there.

Could it be the darkness?


note1: thanks Nanami! i also wish your good luck!
note2: thank you for reading this ^^ i'm sorry for the late update