And here's the final Chapter! Enjoy! :)


Medic had never been all that interested in having 'friends.' If people liked him, well that was nice. Unexpected but nice. As long as they didn't think he should spend all his time with them. Conscious people became just so...draining after a while. He'd need to retreat to a nice dissection or anatomy book by himself after only a short time of socialising.

That's why Medic liked his team's Heavy so much. The Russian knew when to give him space. Even when they spent time in the same room, it was often in companionable silence while they both got on with their own things.

Then the RED Pyro joined them. And surprisingly, little changed. Medic would work at his desk, Heavy would read a book on the battered old couch in the corner that the RED Medic hated so much, and Pyro would lay on a rug on the floor, scribbling in colouring books, or playing with soft toys. Apart from the odd happy mumble or hum, Medic barely even noticed them while he worked.

The rug was from Medic's room. It was a little more singed than it had once been, but at least it kept Pyro off the cold floor. As to where they'd got the colouring books and toys from, Medic didn't know. He suspected one of the Engineers supplied them, though he had seen the RED Spy give the Pyro a fresh pack of crayons. That had made Medic stop and re-evaluate what he thought of the Spy just a little.

That afternoon after the fighting was over, Pyro didn't show up. They could come and go as they wanted, no problem. Of course they could. Maybe they'd gone to spend time with one of the Engineers. Or maybe the Spy. All right, so maybe that was a bit of a push, but they were bound to have other things to do. Or maybe they were just later than normal. Or maybe-

'I'm sure little Pyro is fine, Doctor,' Heavy said, peering at him over a battered copy of War and Peace.

'Huh. Pyro? Who said anything about Pyro?'

'You keep looking at rug and sighing.'

'I am not "sighing." You make it sound as though I'm some kind of lovestruck teen. Over the RED Pyro.'

Heavy shrugged. He pulled the book up to try and hide his smirk when he added, 'You were the one to say it, Doctor.'

Medic snorted and rolled his eyes. While people often failed to notice the Heavy's intelligence, it was his sense of humour they overlooked most often.

'Saw little Pyro making something in the kitchen before I came here,' Heavy said.

Medic dropped his pen. 'In the kitchen? Oh dear. You know, maybe I should just, ah, go check on things. Make sure Pyro doesn't burn the base down. Watch Archimedes for me, won't you? Smoke is very dangerous for birds.' With that he rushed out of the room, leaving Heavy behind. Heavy smiled and nodded to himself before returning to his book.

Medic hadn't been sure how Heavy and the Pyro would get on to begin with, what with them being from enemy teams and, dare he say it, Heavy having a bit of a protective streak when it came to his Doctor. After hearing how the Pyro had saved his life though, Heavy had accepted the Pyro's presence as just another aspect of Medic's company.

He hadn't been sure how the Pyro and Archimedes would get on either. But it turned out the Pyro was just as gentle with the real Archimedes as the paper one, running a gloved finger reverently down his fluffy chest and making muffled cooing noises the first time they were introduced.

All in all, things had been much more pleasant and much less burnt than Medic would have expected if anyone had warned him the enemy Pyro was going to take a sudden interest in him. But still, a Pyro in the kitchen sounded like a serious fire hazard. He'd better get over there before the entire base went up in flames.

When he arrived though, it was to find a morose Pyro standing in front of the kitchen counter. Medic had become much more adept recently at reading the Pyro's body language, but you wouldn't have to know them at all to be able to tell they were feeling upset right now. Their shoulders were slumped, arms hung loosely at their sides and mask tipped towards the floor. For some reason, they were also completely covered in flour.

'Pyro?'

The Pyro physically jumped and swung round wildly to face Medic. Usually they perked up cheerfully when they saw him, but this time they deflated even more.

'Something wrong, Pyro?' The Pyro shook their head. 'What are you up to?' Medic asked, eyes travelling over the kitchen counter. It was also covered in flour, and there was a large plastic bowl on top of it. Medic stepped closer and peered at the contents. It was some kind of batter style mixture, but very lumpy. A whole egg yolk floated on the surface, surrounded by bits of shell.

'Uh, what is this?' Medic asked. He didn't want to offend the Pyro, but he really had no idea. The Pyro shuffled their feet and turned away, mumbling something the Medic didn't quite catch.

'Sorry?'

The Pyro shook their head and turned back to Medic. 'Dusnpth mattuh. Letph do exshperamentphs inpthsteah.'

Medic took a moment to translate that. 'No, it's okay, Pyro. I'm not doing any experiments today. Heavy won't let me.' Having a willing RED hanging around made his investigations into medigun formula colours and potency levels much easier than they otherwise would have been. The RED Medic had only reluctantly given over some of his medigun fluid and point-blank refused to look into the matter himself if it involved working with a BLU.

'Oh,' the Pyro said.

Medic had another look at the bowl. 'Pancake batter?'

The Pyro shook their head.

'Some kind of dessert?'

The Pyro shook their head again.

'Cake?'

The Pyro stayed still this time. A tiny, 'Sorreh, Medipth,' filtered through their mask.

'Sorry?' Medic replied, bewildered. 'What for?'

'Birpthdeh cakth didntph work.'

'Oh,' Medic said. 'Wait. For me?' He hadn't told anybody it was his birthday. There didn't seem to be much point when going through respawn every day slowed down ageing so much. Heavy had found out from somewhere though (probably one of the spies), and had given Medic a huge new bird cage he was looking forward to setting up at the weekend. He'd also tried insisting Medic take the rest of the day off after the battle, but had only managed to get him to compromise and agree to do no experiments. But then he'd also told Medic exactly where to find the missing Pyro. Sneaky bastard; Heavy had managed to find a way of getting Medic out of the lab despite himself.

'Sorreh,' the Pyro whispered.

Medic waved away their apology. 'Whatever have you got to be sorry for? Come on, Pyro. Let's have another go at it, shall we?' He pulled another bowl out of the cupboard and set the other aside.

'Right, we'll need some plain flour if you haven't used it all, three eggs, some vanilla extract, which I know we've got for some reason because I've seen it. Now, what else? Ah yes, sugar! Cream if we've got some left for the filling. A Victoria sponge is all right, isn't it?' he asked. The Pyro hadn't moved or responded yet.

'A bit plain maybe?'

'No! Jpth... igth yur birpthdeh cakepth...'

'Nothing wrong with helping make your own birthday cake,' Medic replied. 'It's not like I'm doing it all by myself, is it? Besides, I haven't had a birthday cake in, oh, years.'

The Pyro gasped. Medic shrugged. Birthdays and cakes just stopped mattering so much when you reached a certain age. Medic decided not to mention that because he doubted the Pyro would agree. As well as that, he didn't want them to think their attempt had meant nothing to him. Even if their first try had ultimately failed, he was as flattered as a mercenary could admit to being about such a sweet gesture.

'It's also a long time since I baked a cake,' Medic said as they gathered up the ingredients. He had fond memories of helping his mother make the cakes she sold in his father's butcher's shop. (As well as fond memories of learning the butchering trade himself, from which he'd decided becoming a surgeon was the next logical step.)

It a long process. A long, messy process. But despite the dropped eggs, flour in Medic's hair and cream smeared across the floor, it was fun. Even the RED Scout couldn't ruin it when he came in and accused them of doing something 'girly' because the look on his face when Medic said he couldn't have any of the finished cake then was more than worth it.

BLU Spy and RED Sniper appeared just as the Pyro was carefully lifting the baked cake from the oven. (Those two had been spotted together a surprising amount recently. It made Medic wonder.) The Sniper found some red food dye at the back of a cupboard and even though Victoria sponge cakes weren't really supposed to be iced, Medic agreed to help the Pyro make some icing anyway. He tried to persuade them to use a little bit more of the food dye as the amount Pyro had put in left the icing looking rather pink. The Pyro liked it how it was though, so in the end he decided to leave it be.

Thankfully, the Sniper and Spy had nothing to say on the matter. Probably because they wanted a piece of cake each.

The Pyro suggested they put some candles on it but Medic managed to dissuade them. 'You'd need so many!' he said, 'You'd end up ruining the cake!' The real reason may have had something to do with not wanting the Pyro to do anything fire related in the kitchen or to the cake. They seemed to accept his explanation happily enough though.

The finished result was one rather lopsided sponge cake covered in oozing pink icing. What it lacked in aesthetic appeal though, it made up for in taste. Even the BLU Spy agreed, even if his first remark was that it was 'adequate.' Then the Sniper elbowed him in the ribs. After that he admitted it was, 'pleasant', which was high-praise indeed from a spy.

'Delicious!' Medic said. The Pyro made sounds of agreement from behind him. This time the muffled quality to their voice was due to a mouth stuffed full of cake, rather than from a mask. Medic waited patiently for them to finish without looking around and said, 'Right, let's take this back to the lab. I'm sure Heavy would like a piece.'

'Anpth Arthedipths!'

'Hmm, maybe a small bit. With no icing. That should be all right. By the way, Pyro?'

'Yepth Medipth?'

'Thank you for the birthday cake.'

'Yer welcompth!'

Medic didn't have to be able to see the Pyro's face to know they were grinning from ear to ear.