I know, I know that the last chapter was short, but it was supposed to be an introductory, well not really but you kinda get the memo. So love you all and i know none of would have had time to review between the last chapter and this one cause i practically posted this straight after but hey! The more the merrier thats why i'm gonna post more tomorrow i'm just really tired right now sooo love ya all and please, please review, i guess i don't mind if you don't but if you do i guess it will make be feel better about myself, so see ya tomorrow peeps.

Rose Pov

"I wake up to find panting, hot steaming tears flowing down my face. I couldn't breath, I felt like someones punching a whole in my heart, creating an empty void that I can't seem to get rid of. So I do the only thing I know will take away the pain, me sitting in my bed huddling my legs against my chest like I did in my nightmare, accept this time I was in her. I lift my pants up as much as I can, and take my finger to my soft thighs and scratch, and scratch, and scratch, till my thighs start to show red blood that seep through the walls of my skin. Seeing this I stop., I just sit there feeling the after burning sensation of s the scratching, having easy flowing tears streaming down my face not because of the inner pain, or the memories that I'm so used to, but because of the physical pain that I feel right at this moment, but I would rather choose this than the pain I feel inside.

"I look at the time and relies its 5 am, I groan not wanting to be up this early but I know that I can't help it. As soon as the memories start to creep into my mind I shake my head, get up from bed knowing its no use sleeping, and put on some music.
Im glad I move houses after destroying everything my mom and dad decided to move in the new house that we were building earlier than planned. Its been 6 years since the incident, 6 years from when I felt pure happiness, 6 years from when my innocents was taken from me, my childhood.

I put on lean on by Major Lazar and get into the shower, I head out blow dry my hair and put on the straightener I decided to go with black leather mini skirt that flows out from my waist to mid thigh. Long sleeved grey, white and navy marino thin sweater tucked in, puffing it out a little. Knee high black wellington hunter boots and a grey hunter socks that fold down on the boots showing a little sock which has the sign hunter on them. And straighten my hair into little waves that cascade down my back in a brown ocean. I put on mascara cherry red lipgloss, and head upstairs.

I head to the kitchen and see my mom, "hey honey, how are you"
"good mom, hey I'm gonna head out"

"sure honey, remember to take some money, and come straight home after school, unless you want to go to a girls house then text me" she says straight to my face, with a harsh attitude to make sure I get the message.

"ok mom", I say more of a mumble. Inside my head I think I hate you, you've kept me in a cage not dating no going to boys houses, no hanging out with boys, no inviting boys, basically altogether no boys in general. All because my parents are olden day strict Turks.

I head out to my black mini cooper invertible, because I have my provisional license, I head to school. Ive tried everything, going behind my mums back she found out twice and called me a slut, a bad girl. Ive given up, if I have no freedom then I may as well not live. Ive attempted twice but I sectrely made sure that they wouldn't work. I don't want to die but I just want the satisfaction of knowing I have another choice, I'm not just stuck in time.

I reached my schools parking lot, I go to a private school one of the top schools really, because my families filthy rich. I don't mean to be so show off, to be honest I say it because I despise the fact that we are, because they've tried to drill in my head that, 'money is happiness'.

I get out of the car, lock my car, and walk into the halls. I get so nervous because I'm really shy around everyone, my friends say I'm a distinct image of an introvert, shy, hate crowds, awkward around everyone, love staying at home reading and writing. Secretly I love marital arts but no one knows that, I stopped it after 'the incident'.

Oh and here we go, its him! Dimitri Belikov, he's the hottest guy in school, the cliché quarterback, smartass, perfect body, perfect girlfriend, and smells... OMG GET OUT OF IT! I really need to stop doing that, its not that I like him trust me I don't, I have my eyes on someone else... Adrian Ivashkov. But being a Rosemarie Mazur, a freak and introvert, and having my really strict parents its not gonna happen with both of them.

OMG OMG OMG he's looking, Dimitri's looking. HES SMILING OH MY FUCKING GOD HES STARING AT ME! Play it cool, keep walking to your locker and just.. smile. He is like prince charming I swear his hairs perfect, brown long loucious, and to make it even better he has the perfect outfits! Then there she is, his girlfriend. WAIT WHY IS SHE GLEARING AT ME! What did I do, oh well. She's pretty perfect very skinny, jet black hair, blue eyes, tall but shorter than Dimitri who is like 6'7, 6'6. She's pretty much perfect cheer captain, friends with everyone, total opposite than me, she has freedom to.

And she speaks to "Dimka why are you staring at that geek", I feel sorry for her, who ever the 'geek' she's talking about. And then I relies Tasha Ozera's talking about me when I see her glaring at me again flicking me off, I just stare down and rush out of the hallway which seems to be like a really long hallway.

Rushing out I find her, Lissa. Ok Lissa Dragomire is my best friend ever, she knows EVERYTHING about me, except maybe the self-harm, suicide and dreams, ok thats not everything but no one else knows about those things except for the dream part, where my parents where the ones who witnessed it.

"LISSA COME HERE NOW" I scream when I know no ones in this hallway, thank god

"slow down girl, why are you soo... so bitchy" I just ignore her comment and start spilling about what happened.

"WHAT, NO" she screams after hearing what happened.

"slow down girl, why are you soo... so bitchy" I copy her words, mwahhaah not gonna go down without a fight./span/p

"thats mean, and who cares when you made TASHA jealous"

"I know I cant believe it myself, but why I mean she's got nothing to be worried about I only talked to Dimitri once, and that wasn't even a proper conversation" I say totally confused.

"OMG LOOK, THERES ADRAIN" Lissa whisper shout, I fix myself and slowly turn casually, which totally didn't look casual OMG OMG HES LOOKING TO WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE A PIMPLE ON MY FACE THAT I DONT KNOW ABOUT?

"oh look he's coming over" Lissa says, WHAT HES, WHAT?/span/p

"Shit lissa fix me"

"you look perfect"

"thanks" I met Adrain in production I was backstage so I worked around him allot, I can sing but I chose not to go onstage i'm to shy. He was sweet but a little cocky but I didn't mind, and besides he has a great voice, and good body, but not as nearly as good as Dimitri's but still enough to make me melt. WAIT WHY AM I COMPARING ADRIAN AND DIMITRI!

"Hey" he nods while approaching

"Hi" I shyly reply, omg I cannot breathe right now! What would my mother say, probably kill me ship me to a poor place In Turkey to teach me a lesson.

"So I was thinking since formal I was wandering if you would wanna go out with me, and maybe go out before then, to you know get to know each other" OH MY SHITTY LIFE, hahahha thats Ironic

"YES, I mean haha, yes that would be awesome" OH MY GOD WHY DID I DO THAT GOD DAMMIT.

"Awesome, ill talk to you later then"

"sure thing" feeling depressed that he's gonna leave I can't believe I'm gonna do this but here goes nothing. "Hey wait" he turns around and stares with a confused look which makes him a whole lot cutter. "you wanna hang at lunch I'm free so …." He smiles a 100 watt smile, which makes me return one back and he says "that would be great" and turns and leaves not without turning his head back with a smile still on his face. I wanted to cry from happiness right now. WAIT WHAT HAVE I DONE! OH MY FUCKING LIFE, NO, NO, NO. OMG MY MUM AND DAD ARE GOING TO FIND OUT AND SURLEY MOVE ME OMG, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO.

"Lissa squealing turns me to face her clearly happy, but as soon as she sees my face she has a confused look on her face then I settle my eyes on hers, and understanding settles in her face, knowing what my parents might do. I lean against the wall sliding down with a horror look on face mixed with shock, guilt, feeling like someones just ripped out my heart and crumbled it to pieces. Lissa joins me on the floor. And I finally turn to face her and she looks back and I finally speak "what am I going to do".

Have a GREAT night and i hope you enjoyed that like i said at the top I WILL POST MORE! and im sorry if that was kinda cliche and by the way i said this would be based around my life and the nightmare is but the rest isn't sooo yeah love ya :).