Page 24: The Instant Scalping Hex shaves all the hair off a target's scalp.

Draco had spent a good portion of the morning arguing with a violent Quidditch player who he had banned from competing in this year's League. Really, it wasn't his fault that the idiot was renowned for beating up his opponents with his broom whenever his team lost a match. He exhaled shakily and exited the room, telling his secretary that he was going for some coffee.

"You can't take a break now!" she exclaimed as he strode past her. "The Minister of Magical Games and Sports wants those drafts in half an hour and you haven't written a word!"

"I'll manage," Draco replied easily, slipping out the door. Truth be told, he didn't want any caffeinated drinks at the moment. Instead, he hopped in the lift, knowing that he could always escape to the lower levels of the Ministry to relieve his tension. He didn't even have to go that far, as Potter was standing in the front of the lifts on Level Two, discussing something in with a fellow Auror who Draco didn't recognise or even bother to try to place.

"Hey, Potter!" Draco drawled, pleasantly surprised when Potter turned to the sound of his voice and tensed immediately. "I'd like to challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed."

The unfamiliar Auror hurriedly excused himself, clearly not wanting to be a part of the mess that was bound to ensue.

"Shakespeare, huh?" Potter replied, and Draco noticed that his tongue was back to normal. He felt a twitch of satisfaction in the knowledge that the effects of the spell he was about to use were irreversible and could only be treated with time. "Been reading Muggle literature, Malfoy?"

"There is no denying his gift with eloquence," Draco responded smoothly. "I must confess that I am impressed you could follow his work."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Potter snapped, his hand slowly moving towards his wand, instantly on his guard.

"It's simply that calling you stupid would be quite an insult to stupid people," Draco smirked. "If you fell off your ego and landed on your IQ, it'd be like committing suicide."

"Same goes for you," Potter replied snappishly.

"My intelligence level is far superior to yours and rather impressive, thank you," he responded.

"I never said it wasn't. Your ego, however..."

Draco drew his wand instantly and cast the hex he had memorised. Potter was thrown backwards and fell clumsily to the floor, his head striking the ground with incredible force that would have probably cracked his skull had Draco not cast a quick Cushioning Charm (not because he really cared what happened to the prick, but because he would get in serious trouble if he accidentally killed the Man Who Lived Twice). Someone was already rushing over, yelling something unintelligible at Draco and kneeling down next to Potter. It was really rather fascinating how everyone fawned over him.

Potter sat up wearily, looking altogether unharmed – aside from the fact that he was now completely bald.

Draco chuckled as the few people on the scene gasped in shock. Potter looked confused. "What is it?" he questioned, just as Draco backed away into the lift and the doors closed. He had the pleasure of hearing an outraged cry echo through the thin walls before the lift began to surge upwards.

Somewhere, a clock chimed the hour. He had a report to write within fifteen minutes, but he didn't concern himself with it – he had a gift for writing convincingly accurate drafts when needed. In other words, he had a talent for bullshitting. Besides, he wouldn't have traded all the time in the world for this opportunity to feel utter satisfaction in tormenting and hexing Potter.


I am so, so, SO sorry for literally disappearing for, what, four years? I don't even know if those following the story are still into fanfiction! I don't think there's any way to apologize for that long of an absence, so I just hope you'll all forgive me!

No more abandoning this story and fanfiction in general! This story will update once a week.