Jane Cabot had an active life with her friends and special companion Jeffery. She did charity work, volunteered and all the other things someone of her age and stature was expected to do. However the times she loved best were when her whole family was able to visit.
She watched from the doorway as Alexandra climbed from the car followed by two young ladies and then finally Olivia. She took a hard look at the woman she had recently accepted as a daughter in law. She always wanted Alexandra to be happy but Jane never thought it would be with a woman. Especially a woman like Olivia Benson.
It hadn't taken her long to accept Olivia like she had never accepted the men in her daughter's life. It was easy to tell that Olivia loved Alexandra and would die before letting anything or anyone hurt her. It was everything Jane had ever wanted for her daughter.
It may have been the limp, Jane decided. Olivia didn't have her usually swagger. Jane smiled for all four of them then moved to hug Olivia first.
"Easy Mom. She's hurt," Alexandra said protectively. Jane threw her daughter a look that made the younger Cabot cringe.
"Stay high and you'll be fine," Olivia, said her arms open for an embrace.
They had just finished introducing the girls when the Stabler minivan rolled to a stop behind Alex's car. There were more introductions then the group from the city followed Jane into the house. She decided that the back sitting room would fit them nicely. When they arrived at the doorway Elliot followed Olivia down the hall so they could change from the fancy dress uniforms they wore.
After removing the dress uniform and replacing it with loose fitting slacks and a button down shirt Olivia found Elliot waiting in the hallway. He was examining a work of art by an artist neither of them had heard of. Elliot turned and looked at his partner then back to the painting.
"Some place," he commented. Olivia nodded and motioned to the spiral staircase at the end of the hall.
"You should see the upstairs," she told him and he grinned a little at her comfort level.
"I never pictured you at ease in a place like this," he said.
"Calling me low rent, Stabler?" Olivia asked lightly.
"No but this place is bleeding money," he replied.
"Not really. It's… Alex's family is great and I've never felt out of place."
"How's the ankle?" He asked as they started down the hall.
"How's the shoulder?" She replied.
"Hurts like Hell," he muttered. She nodded knowing she was one of the few people he would admit that too.
"Ankle's the same," she replied returning the favor.
They stood and he followed her down the hall with a comment of, "Don't fall cause you know I can't catch you." He noticed the limp become lesser as they entered the room where their families were waiting.
To Olivia's non-surprise Alex had an Ace bandage in her hand. She motioned to an empty chair and Olivia sat without comment. Elliot snickered softly until he saw Kathy holding his sling.
"My ankle's fine, Alex," Olivia objected taking the tan colored roll from the lawyer.
"Young man I do believe I need a hand with something. Can you help me?" Jane asked Dickie. Alex watched the two of them leave the room naturally suspicious of her mother. She took the bandage from Olivia and knelt down in front of her.
Elliot put allowed Kathy to put his sling on and then he kissed her. He hated the damn thing but he would wear it for her. Temporarily.
"We need an ice pack," Alex said and Olivia shook her head.
"It's fine," she objected.
"Your ankle looks like a grapefruit. Your crutches are in the trunk. I'll…"
"Alex. It's fine," Olivia said more firmly.
Alex looked up from where she was kneeling. Olivia saw first the anger then the resignation. Olivia noted that Alex's hands were trembling.
Christ, Benson, she's doing the only thing she can for you. Quit being an ass, Olivia thought. Olivia took Alex's hand and squeezed it causing Alex to look up directly at her.
"Olivia. Alexandra. May I get something for you?" A voice asked and Alex snapped back to reality. She was still unused to being able to have a conversation without speaking.
"Good afternoon, Harriet. We could use an ice pack. Thank you," Olivia replied her eyes still on Alex who looked on the verge of tears.
"Of course. Would anyone like something besides tea or lemonade?" Harriet asked. After receiving a negative response, the long time Cabot housekeeper patted Olivia on the shoulder and said, "It's good to see you Detective."
"Hey El can you get me a lemonade?" Olivia asked giving Alex the time to pull herself back together.
"Your hands broken?" Elliot asked moving towards the tray.
"No but I'm afraid if I get up Alex might duct tape me to the chair," Olivia replied getting a small smile from Alex.
"She'd use rope, Olivia. Duct tape is too mundane for a Cabot," Jane said as she and Dickie came back into the room. The young boy was carrying a rather large ottoman, which he sat next to Alex.
"Thank you, Dickie. Now Olivia can rest her foot on the ottoman," Jane said. Elliot handed Olivia her drink and muttered that she was out numbered. Olivia agreed as she lifted her leg and allowed Alex to fuss a bit more.
"Why's it called an ottoman? It's just a footstool," Dickie asked.
"If they give it a fancy name then people will pay more for it," Jane told him. Dickie grinned.
"I'm going to rename all the furniture and sell it," he told them.
"Start with the stuff in your room," Kathy replied dryly.
Alex handed Kathleen her car keys and asked, "If I ask you to go get Olivia's crutches you promise to not take my car for a joy ride?"
"No," Kathleen said taking the keys. Alex shook her head as Kathleen skipped away with Dickie trailing after.
"At least she's honest," Olivia said as Alex examined her ankle more closely.
"I think you need a doctor," Alex said careful to not touch the swelling and bruise.
"Let's ice it and see how it goes," Olivia replied. She watched Harriet nudge Alex out of the way and examine the injury herself. She tensed as Harriet positioned the ice pack and began to wrap her ankle.
"I can't tell you how many times I had to bandage up Victoria and Alexandra," Harriet commented as she efficiently wrapped Olivia's ankle. Seeing Olivia's expression she continued, "With Victoria it was sports injuries. Soccer, basketball, softball. She even hurt herself playing croquet once. Though I think Alexandra may have had something to do with that injury. Alexandra on the other hand couldn't seem to figure out how to ride a bicycle. I'm surprised she doesn't have scars."
She does, Olivia thought remembering the scar on Alex's left hip. Harriet gently put her injured ankle down and let Alex move back to Olivia's side.
"Thank you," Olivia said motioning to foot.
"You can't ride a bike? No balance?" Elliot asked.
"I'd like to see you walk in these shoes," Alex told him. He looked down and grinned.
"They don't match my belt," he said with a smirk.
The group sat and chatted while they waited for dinner. Jane and Kathleen shared an affinity for art. Jane was delighted to have someone to speak with and gave Kathleen a tour of the house showing off her collection. The twins, having no interest in art, went along. Elizabeth wanted to ask Jane questions about Alex and Dickie just wanted to get away from his parents.
Elliot took a seat near Olivia and they began a quiet discussion. Kathy, Maureen and Alex were far enough away they couldn't hear what was being said and remained that way.
"It's hard being a cops wife," Kathy commented quietly as they watched the two detectives. Alex nodded even though she didn't consider Olivia to be her wife.
"I never knew how much I would worry. I mean I know Olivia can take care of herself and God knows I trust Elliot to watch her back but…"
"It's the but that will drive you mad. Even if they weren't cops they could have been there," Kathy pointed out.
"I've considered that. I've had lunch in that diner so many times," Alex replied.
"It's where we would meet Dad when he's working Saturdays," Maureen told her.
"I told Elliot I was pregnant with the twins in the booth they were sitting in." Kathy said with a sad smile.
"How… How do you cope? " Alex asked.
"I do denial pretty well," Kathy said wryly with Maureen nodding her agreement. Seeing Alex's expression Kathy continued, "If I don't think about it then it I don't worry about him."
"How's that working?" Alex asked.
"Just fine until I opened the door and John Munch was standing there looking like his dog died."
Alex couldn't help it. She laughed which caused Kathy to break up too. Maureen stared at them failing to see the humor.
"I was in court questioning a witness and turned around to see Fin. He was shaking," Alex mused shaking off the semi hysterical laughter.
"Hard to imagine. Or not," Kathy replied.
"Or not," Alex repeated.
"There's a group of us that get together once and a while. Families of officers. You should come," Kathy suggested but Alex shook her head.
"We're not that out."
Maureen considered it for a moment then said, "That must really suck."
"The consequences professionally could be devastating," Alex replied. She sighed, "And yes it really sucks."
"Well if you ever need to talk you know where to find me," Kathy offered.
Alexandra Cabot, always independent and self reliant, took a steadying breath. "Thank you."
Across the room Elliot was asking Olivia about the drive upstate. He and Kathy purposely had Elizabeth ride with Olivia. It was their hope she would get the young girl to talk about what Elliot privately thought of as the 'shirt and fist' incident. After the screaming match her parents had conducted Elizabeth absolutely refused to speak about it.
Olivia motioned the others to join them. She was grateful that Alex and Kathy seemed to know they needed the few moments alone. Alex refreshed her lemonade and sat on the ottoman.
"Elizabeth had every right to pop that little jerk," Olivia told the Stablers.
"Oh good God yes," Alex agreed. Elliot stared at Alex who shook her head, "Cretin."
As Olivia explained what had happened Elliot's face began to get red. She tapped his good shoulder, "Don't be a hothead Dad. She handled it."
"I pointed out that she needs to tell an adult at the school. She might not be the only one he has bothered. She agreed she would talk to the principle," Alex told them.
"Thanks for talking to her. She wouldn't say anything to us," Kathy said dejected.
"Of course not, you're her parents. We on the other hand are quickly becoming her favorite adults," Olivia told her.
"Oh yeah?" Elliot asked.
"We've always like you Olivia, " Maureen pointed out.
"Thank you Maureen," Olivia said.
"You're welcome. Dickie has a raging crush on you," Maureen told her.
"She has that effect on many many people," Alex pointed out in a serious voice drawing laughter from the others.
The tour seemed to be ending and Olivia excused herself to use the bathroom. Alex cleared her throat when Olivia made for the door with out the crutches. Jane gave her what Olivia imagined to be a motherly smile.
"Is she always this stubborn?" Jane asked.
"Yes," Alex and Elliot agreed in unison.
"Luckily we usually agree on things," Elliot told them and Alex nodded.
"Well I suppose I shall get to be the bad guy then. Harriet?" Jane called out. A minute later Harriet appeared. "Have you contacted Dr. Holloway?"
"She'll be here before dinner. Also the Brewers have arrived," Harriet replied.
"Very well. Thank you."
"Olivia's not going to be happy about that," Elliot mused.
"About what?" Olivia asked crutching her way back into the room.
"I've contacted a physician. She'll be here to look at your foot. Don't worry Elliot wont be jealous because she's going to look his shoulder over also," Jane declared.
"It's really not necessary," Olivia objected.
"Of course it is. It will put Alexandra and Kathy's minds at ease."
Before she could speak again Olivia was nearly knocked over when a small blonde body attached it's self to her leg. A second later the older sister of the boy hugging her scraped up leg was hugging her abdomen. Olivia felt the air leave her body and not return.
"Whoa," Alex said pulling Gus from Olivia's leg. "Kyla be careful. Did he hit your stitches?" Alex asked.
"Stitches?" Kyla asked pulling away from Olivia. She looked at the crutches and then Olivia ankle. In a flash she rounded to the couple that had just entered the room. "YOU told me OLIVIA was OKAY!"
Olivia gently sat down trying to catch her breath.
"Kyla…"
"NO! You said…" Kyla was beginning to get really upset when Olivia reached up and touched her arm.
"I'm right here," Olivia told her.
"Mom said you were fine. She said…" Kyla objected.
"Look at me, Kyla. Sweetheart. Look at me. I'm right here. My ankle is hurt and I have some scratches but I'm going to be fine," Olivia said firmly.
"You promise?" Kyla asked.
"Cross my heart," Olivia told her.
Kyla bit her lip and looked from Olivia to her mother. Olivia offered her a hug and the kid took it.
"I'm sorry. I… I was so scared when they said you were hurt. You…"
Olivia held on to her until Alex came over to them and took her out of the room. Gus, whom Alex had just put down, looked confused.
"Hi Gus. You can sit here but watch my leg. I got a big owie," Olivia told the six year old. Gus scurried into Olivia's lap and his father approached.
"Hi Tanner," Olivia said looking up. He leaned down and kissed Olivia on the mouth.
"Vicky went after Al and Ky," Tanner said as Olivia looked for his wife. Olivia nodded and half way paid attention to Jane as she was introducing the Stablers. She had to repeat herself when the three missing blondes returned.
Kyla looked as if she had been crying and her mother and aunt looked no better. Kyla took Alex's seat on the ottoman while her brother curled up in Olivia's lap. He began to nod off as the adults held their conversation. Olivia felt her eyes growing heavier and was happy she had not taken one of her pain pills. Loud snoring with a side of drool would be less than ideal.
Alex noted that Olivia was much more quiet than normal. She had been since the shooting. Alex knew that pushing her to talk would be a bad idea but the silence was beginning to bother her.
The younger kids seemed to gravitate towards the detective and it didn't take long for her to be surrounded. Alex watched as Olivia shook off her sleepiness and engaged them in a quite conversation. She caught snippets about classes, school and the boy that Kyla thought gross.
"So Detective Stabler would you call that evidence that Alexandra and Olivia need to have children?" Jane asked nodding towards Olivia.
Elliot, caught off guard for a moment, looked to Alex. The blonde was cringing and he quickly smothered his grin. Going for diplomacy he said, "I've always thought Olivia would be a good mom. And I can see little mini Alex's following her around."
"Mini Alex's?" Alex asked. She didn't seem apposed to the idea so Elliot let his grin slip.
"Sure. Blonde, glasses, perfect posture, vocabulary that would make your head spin," he elaborated.
"How long have you been assessing the characteristics of my future children, Detective?"
"Since you started dating my closest friend counselor," Elliot answered honestly. They both looked over at Olivia who seemed to be captivated by something Dickie was saying. Elliot noted the fond smile on Alex lips.
The rest of the afternoon went fairly smoothly with the exception of the doctor's visit. Alex took offense at Olivia's vague explanation of what Dr. Holloway had said during the short exam. She began to question Olivia in a way that reminded Elliot of the woman he knew as Killer Cabot, ADA. He risked his life stepping into the budding argument and managed to head off a major arguing with a couple of questions.
Everyone, including Gus, could feel the underlying tension in the house. The youngest member of the Brewer family kept biting his lip while looking around. It was as if he were looking for an unknown monster that might be hiding in wait. He was also very clingy with Olivia. His father had to pry him away when Dr. Holloway had shown up with her bright pink medical bag.
The dinner conversation was kept light. Kathy, a woman who could kill a plant with a look, listened to tips from Vicky about growing a garden. The Brewers owned an organic greenhouse and were well known for their seed production. Maureen, who hated her biology class, happily discussed plant genetics with Dr. Tanner Brewer. Or happily listened.
Tanner had a boyish charm that was feminized in Kyla who had Dickie wrapped around her finger before the salad course was cleared. They discussed sports extensively and Elliot was amused to see his son finally find a girl who wasn't gross.
Olivia, Elliot and Elizabeth were all fairly quiet. Elliot enjoyed just listening to calm rational conversation. Dinner at the Stabler house was usually a loud affair. He was half listening to his wife and Vicky when he heard his partner speak in her official cop voice.
"Benson," she snapped and his head turned quickly. Olivia had her newly issued call phone in one hand and her fork in the other.
"Yeah just a second Captain," she said. Elliot watched her excuse herself from the table and hobble to the hall.
"I was under the impression you were both off duty," Jane commented.
"We are," Elliot said with a frown. He checked his pockets for his phone and came up empty. Kathy informed him it was in the car.
They could hear Olivia speaking but not make out the words. Just from her tone Elliot had no trouble determining that she was still in cop mode. Alex had apparently made the connection too. She pushed her food around her plate. Elliot made an effort to calmly continue eating. Olivia's voice faded but she didn't reappear.
He picked up her crutches on his way out of the room.
Elliot found his partner sitting on a bench near the neighboring room. He leaned her crutches on the table next to her and sat down. Olivia didn't look from behind her hands, which were hiding her face. After a few moments of silence he asked, "What'd Dad want?"
Olivia relaxed minutely and he tossed his left arm over her shoulder. Finally she spoke, "I didn't kill Jiles."
Zachary Jiles mass murderer. The elephant in the pink tutu that resided in the room they had just left.
"Ballistics are in then. Thought it would take longer," Elliot mused.
"Me too. Captain tried to reach you too. You didn't kill him either," Olivia said. Elliot nodded though she couldn't see him from behind her fingers.
"Why do I feel like this?" Olivia asked after a long silence.
"You mean like you're sorry? Not sorry he's dead but sorry you didn't kill him?" Elliot asked in a strangled voice.
"Yeah. And sad. Not sad I didn't kill him. Not sad he's dead just… Sad."
"Yeah," Elliot whispered.
Olivia turned and buried her face in Elliot's shoulder. He pulled her close and they sat quietly finding the support they needed.
"Alex is worried sick about you," he commented after they cleared their faces. They were careful to not look at each other and made a silent pact to never mention it to anyone.
"I know. I want to… I don't know what to do to help her. I can't even help myself," Olivia admitted.
"Kathy's the same way. I cling to her at night but during the day we fight."
They quietly pondered separately for a long moment. Then Olivia took her crutches.
"One hour at a time," Olivia told him and he nodded. It had been their squads' mantra after the 2001 terrorist attack.
"And the next hours are with your family," he pointed out.
"Yeah. Including my favorite brother," she commented as she crutched back to her seat.
"I'm your favorite? Gimmie that phone. I gotta call Munch and let him know," Elliot said. He held out her chair and she handed her crutches to him.
Olivia took Alex's hand and squeezed it. She picked up her fork resumed eating. Elliot was just taking his chair when a thought crossed his mind. He started to ask Olivia but then stopped. She turned to him puzzled and then nodded.
"Detective Utoff," she told him and he looked as if she had grown a third eye. Maybe she had. She qualified, "It wasn't me, it wasn't you."
He nodded having received the answer to his unasked question. He went back to his dinner. Utoff was a veteran and this wasn't the first time he had killed in the line. He was probably better equipped to handle it than he or Olivia would be. Killing someone, even in self-defense could screw you up for life.
"Dad?" Elizabeth asked a few minutes later. He leaned down to hear her better. "Will you go with me to school on Monday to talk to Mr. Ealon?"
"Sure thing Lizzie. You want mom to come too?" He asked and she shrugged.
"Will you be mad if I get suspended?" She asked.
"Not at you. Mr. Ealon might want to take a vacation," he told her but she didn't smile. "You didn't do anything wrong." She didn't seem convinced and turned to listen to Kyla and Dickie's debate about the Yankees.
