Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
Kisses and thanks to Nic, beta suprema, and to all the girlies (I'm guessing you're all girls) that reviewed, alerted and/or favorited. xoxo
Mr. Connelly, the elderly man who ran the bookshop, arrived minutes after I had finished counting out the register. It had been a slow afternoon at the bookshop, and it hadn't me taken long to complete my few closing duties.
We chatted a minute while he locked the door, and I waved good night as we parted ways. I usually always walked home, especially when the days were still long and not too cold. I had buttoned my cardigan and started to make my way across campus and out to the street when I slowed, squinting at the familiar silhouette approaching me.
"Hi, Bella. Ready?" Emmett took my bag and slung it over his shoulder.
"I didn't know you were coming, Em. Everything alright?" I asked, tucking my now free hands into the pockets of my pants.
"Yeah… I don't really want you walking home by yourself anymore."
I glanced sharply up at him. "Ever?"
"No, not for a while. Too much…" He didn't finish, pulling a pack of half crushed cigarettes from his back pocket and jamming one into his mouth instead.
I sighed, tired of the vagueness. If things weren't so serious it would almost be comical, the way he and Edward danced around things. I wasn't a child; I deserved to know, and now I had Emmett for at least twenty minutes while we walked home.
You've really walked right into this, haven't you, Em.
I took a deep breath. "Look. I need to know what's going on, I'm tired of the secrets. Please, Emmett."
"Yes, I know, and I want to be honest with you…but there's only so much I can say. It's better – safer – for you if you don't have specific information." He answered, flicking the ash.
I chewed on my lip, trying hard to hide my frustration. I could respect what Em was saying – I really could – especially if what he was into was what I thought it was. Still, though, it obviously could affect me whether or not I "had specific information". The ash and rubble that remained of Flanagan's corner pub was proof of that.
I hooked my arm through Em's and we walked for awhile in silence. Once he'd finished smoking I squeezed his arm.
"I need to know. Please. I've already figured a few things out," I implored, keeping my voice quiet and my eyes ahead of me. People drifted all around us, dawdling on sidewalks, crossing streets and pausing in conversation, ensconced in themselves. I wondered what sort of secrets swirled in their lives, ones they protected and ones they were protected from.
"Like what, Bella? That I have a gun? That I keep strange hours?" Em asked drily.
"Yeah," I nodded, waiting for him to continue. I had all night; if he didn't divulge now I'd just get on his case after supper, too.
He looked down at me in exasperation. "Ya really are a pain in the arse. "
I waited calmly. We crossed the street and then, instead of going home, Emmett led us into a small, quiet restaurant I'd never noticed before. We settled into a booth, Em sitting so he faced the door.
Almost immediately a truly gorgeous blonde girl approached our table. Em wrapped his arm around her waist and she ruffled his dark curls. She reminded me of the American actress Marilyn Monroe, with her ample curves and coy expression… she even had the beauty mark.
"Rose, this is my baby sister Bella. Bella, Rose."
I smiled timidly, slightly daunted by the girl's looks. She grinned at me though, winking. "Nice to meet you, love. What can I get for you two?"
"The usual. She'll have what I have," Em answered, giving her a squeeze as he let go. She nodded and went back to the bar, where a few old men sat and conversed.
"Japers, Em!" I muttered, feeling sort of mousy in the wake of Rose's glow.
He nodded, grinning slyly, knowingly. "She's a vixen, alright. Been seeing her awhile now."
I smirked. Seems there were a lot of things going on with him that I knew nothing about.
We made small talk until Rose dropped off two overflowing pints. I took a long swallow, wiping the foam from my upper lip before diving in.
"Alright, Emmett, enough of this. I know you and Edward are running around with the Provos. I need to know how serious y'are."
He grimaced and leaned in, answering me in a low growl. "Serious enough for you need to keep your feckin' voice down, Isabella."
I blinked in surprise, feeling the vice grip around my heart return. I nodded sheepishly, wrapping my hands around the bottom of my glass. Em didn't really talk to me that way, ever.
He sat back, scratching his hands through his hair. I patiently sipped on the frosty brew in front of me, giving him time to say what he had to say. Eventually his eyes met mine.
"We're sick of living like this. If they don't want to listen, there are ways to make them. "He shrugged, looking around the near empty bar. "There are political prisoners, Bella, men – even women - put away for years because they fought for the cause. We've been under thumb of the British for way too feckin' long. Look what happened in Derry."
Bloody Sunday had been just seven months before, and its aftermath was searing and fresh. After that approval of the IRA, and recruitment into it, had skyrocketed. Still, hearing words like that come out of my own brother's mouth... he sounded so... patriotic.
"Who's… whose gun was that?" I asked in a hushed voice, leaning in.
"It belongs to someone named James, from Derry. He'd just …acquired it and asked me to hold it until he could get it to where it needed to be," he explained, watching me carefully.
Emmett finished his pint and I struggled to gulp mine down so we could leave. We needed to be home soon, lest Mum harass us for being late. Rose promptly sauntered over, clasping her hands in front of her.
"Ready for another?"
"No thanks, honey. We've got to get home so we can eat with the Mum and Da." Emmett winked at her. "But maybe I'll grace ya with my presence later on."
I managed to finally drink off my Guinness and then stood, trying to ignore my brother's blatant flirting. After saying goodbye to Rose (Em's parting words were just a tad more intimate than mine) we left and continued up the street. It had become dark and I once again threaded my arm through Em's, something I had done since we were children.
He hadn't told me much of what I didn't already know, but hearing it all verified gave me a lot to mull over. We didn't say much as we turned down our street and were nearly to the front door when Emmett slowed.
"Bella," he began.
"Hmm?" I responded absently, feeling my stomach rumble and wondering what Mum had cooked.
"Edward asked if he could take you out, to the pictures." His voice was calm (too calm, I thought) as he slid my arm out from beneath his and regarded me, his eyebrows quirked.
I froze, shocked that Edward had actually gone and done it – he'd asked Em if he could see me. I wondered if he'd asked him before or after I'd seen him with Victoria.
"What's going on, Bella?" He asked.
I shook my head. "Nothing, really…I just – "
He snorted. "Oh come on. I know you like him, so save the act."
"That doesn't upset you?" I asked warily.
"He's like a brother to me; I trust him. And anyway, he knows you're innocent. If he tries anything, I'll kill him." He shrugged, very matter of fact.
Innocent indeed.
I frowned. "Um, okay."
"Okay what?"
Mum poked her head out the front door, effectively ending our discussion. "What are the two of you doing, besides being useless? Come on, then."
I near skipped up the steps, relieved I didn't have to explain things to Em, who shuffled lazily along behind me. He locked the front door and pulled gently on my arm before we went any further into the house.
"Listen. You know Edward's got…a bit of a reputation," he sighed.
I rolled my eyes. "No, really?"
He scowled. "Don't go fallin' over yerself for him is all. Keep it light… I won't want to deal with you if it gets messy. And I really won't want to deal with him."
"I know, I know," I mumbled, sullen that his advice seemed to be proving true already.
I was walking purposefully around the shop, making sure there were no stragglers lingering in the aisles, when I heard the door bells tinkle up front. I pursed my lips in annoyance; the bookshop closed at half past five, everyone knew that. Mr. Connelly had rung moments before and instructed me to lock up by myself, and I was more than ready to do just that.
Edward was the last person I expected to see; Emmett had likely sent him to herd me home. I wondered petulantly what his girlfriend would think. Irritated, I stepped behind the counter and scooped up a small pile of textbooks.
"Ah, so you've got babysitting duty today," I said, sparing myself a glance at his ridiculously handsome profile.
"I didn't realize this was where you were working, Bella," Edward mused, ignoring my comment and reading the back of one of the featured books.
"I keep hearing that lately," I responded coolly, returning the few misplaced books to their proper spots.
He put the book back and propped himself against the counter. "Em just told me. I was around yesterday – I'd have stopped in."
"Yes, I saw you," I murmured, locking the front door from the inside. I wasn't supposed to have anyone in the store when I counted out, but it was only Edward (and really, I was safer having him there than having no one at all when I handled the money).
I returned to the register and started compulsively righting the bills in the cash drawer so they all faced the same way. I had tried, since the day before, to push away the notion I'd been used but so far it hadn't worked. I was caught in a tedious cycle of longing and hurt.
Edward watched silently as I counted and recorded the day's figures in a log book. If he noticed my attitude he didn't mention it. Moments later I shut the lights and ushered him out ahead of me.
He cleared his throat. "I told Emmett I'd walk you home. I spoke to him about – "
"He told me," I interrupted, crossing my arms as we walked. I could see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye.
"Bella, what's with you?"
"You said you'd take care of me. I read into that much more than I should have." I blurted out, my heartbeat picking up. So much for keeping cool, Bella. Brilliant.
He yanked me to a standstill. "What are you talking about?"
"It doesn't matter, Edward. I saw you with Victoria yesterday. I didn't know you were seein' her." I said, making myself maintain eye contact. "It doesn't matter."
He stared at me in dismay. "Jesus, Bella,"
"You needn't take the Lord's name in vain to make a point," I snipped childishly, starting to walk again. This was more like the relationship with Edward I knew – back and forth, teasing, platonic.
"Sorry, St. Josephine, "he replied sarcastically, using the saint's name I'd been given at confirmation. "So I can't curse, but we can fornicate?"
I felt my face heat up and I walked faster, not at all enjoying how that had backfired on me.
His lanky strides brought him right back to my side. "Yes, you saw me with Victoria. Victoria, who is engaged to a bloke from Derry."
I faltered, hints of embarrassment threatening my anger, making my face burn even hotter.
Edward sighed. "She's a friend, Bella. I've never been with her like that. I don't even like redheads."
I snorted at that. "Funny, considering you are one."
He automatically ran his hand through his hair, frowning. "It's not that red, is it?"
And just like that, he'd disarmed me. I shrugged almost shyly, glancing up at his hair. "Sort of. I don't know… it looks different depending on the light." I chewed the inside of my cheek, knowing how obsessive I probably sounded, knowing the shades of his hair. Oh, the shame.
He smirked down at me and, like Emmett had done the day before, took my backpack off my shoulders and slung it on to one of his. He put his free arm around me and I sank into his side as we walked, wordlessly accepting defeat in our almost-argument.
He tightened his grip around me. "I'm sorry you saw me with her and thought …whatever you thought. I guess I can't blame you, and I really didn't know you worked right there..." Edward's voice was sincere as he rambled apologetically.
"I've been there for over a year," I said lightly, slipping my arm around his waist. I marveled at how easy we could be, together.
He nodded, looking lost in thought as we ambled down the sidewalk.
"And you do have quite the reputation," I added teasingly.
"Okay, okay, you've made your point." He peered down at me. "So do you want to go to the cinema tonight, then? We can see what's on over at QFT."
I looked back up at him, mildly surprised. "Oh, you really want to go? I thought that was just a way to get Em to agree."
"It was," he laughed. "But we can go anyway."
Warmth spread throughout my body and I tried to rein in the face-splitting grin.
"Alright," I agreed. "But I need to phone Mum and let her know I won't be home for awhile."
We stopped at a phone booth on campus, where I hurriedly slipped a few pence in and dialed home. Mum didn't mind that I'd be missing supper– although she was audibly surprised I had a "date" with Edward. I sighed inwardly; there were sure to be questions when I got home.
Queen's Film Theatre was extremely popular with students, partly because it featured classics alongside the newer releases but also because it was located right on campus. It was notoriously crowded most of the time because of its modest size and tonight was no exception. Before long we were cozied up in the rear, centre seats amidst the hum of dozens of conversations.
Edward reclined back, supporting his feet on the empty chair in front of us. I had my suspicions about why he'd wanted to sit in the very last row, but I kept them to myself… mainly because I wanted what I was sure he wanted: to touch.
Again. In any way and every way.
"So how do you know Victoria?" I whispered, resting my bag on an unoccupied seat.
Edward chuckled and shook his head, examining his jeans. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"
"No."
He shot me a sideways glance. "Then I hope you enjoy disappointment." He looked back at the blank screen, discussion over.
I looked away, drawing my legs up and wrapping my arms around them. I wanted desperately to trust him, but little warning bells kept going off in my mind. I knew who he was, and who was I to try and change him? Stupid girls did things like that and while I was inexperienced, I wasn't stupid.
Then again, I'd been his from the moment he'd kissed me in my room. Either way now, I was going to get hurt.
"Her boy fights…with the IRA. She takes a very active role in supporting that, and sometimes acts as a go-between since James doesn't live in Belfast," Edward said suddenly, his lips at my ear.
I saw now why he'd hesitated to tell me. This wasn't just about him or even Em, but other people as well, people I had no allegiance to.
I couldn't look up; his face was so close to mine and that would be awkward, like I was looking for him to kiss me. I was terrified he would anyway, and desperate for him to. My heart raced at his proximity.
"Thanks, "I whispered, relieved he had chosen to confide in me after all. I felt him smile and I wondered what had crumbled his resolve. He kissed my ear softly before settling back into his seat and I shivered reflexively. I knew he noticed; he did things to me just to see me respond, and that made me crave him even more.
A thought came to me. "James? James with the gun?" I asked, now the one leaning across the armrest. The lights began to go down, signaling the start of the film.
He looked taken aback. "Emmett told you that?"
"We talked about it last night," I admitted, admiring how dreamy he looked in the dim flicker.
He nodded, watching me intently. "Same guy."
I slid my eyes to the screen, little pulses of ardor teasing through me, making me grateful for the darkness. But he knew, and rested his hand high on my thigh, his warmth seeping through my corduroys to my skin-that-was-blushing beneath.
Edward was on his feet as soon as the credits began to roll, adamant I be home at a reasonable hour. He knew my parents were still nervous when I was out, particularly at night, and he wanted to mollify them.
We walked briskly, side by side, our hands cocooned in the pockets of our pants. The temperature was definitely beginning to drop, although subtly, and before long the days would become shorter and bleaker.
"Do you want to come in?" I asked when he brought me to my door.
He smiled, shaking his head faintly. "Need to get home myself. You're not the only one with a nervous Mum."
"But you stay out all the time," I pointed out.
He shrugged. "I do, but she's expecting me home tonight." He leaned down and kissed me, careful and chaste. Apparently he had better control than I, because the second his lips left mine I burned.
"Okay. Well…thanks. For walkin' me. And for the film," I said, tucking my hair behind my ears.
"I'll come by tomorrow, yeah?"
I smiled and nodded, and he jogged down the stairs, back out to the sidewalk. I watched him walk away, popping his jacket's collar to keep out the damp wind. We would need to trade light summer clothes for the more substantial ones of autumn soon.
I let myself into the house, grinning like a lovesick fool as I double locked the door and put my boots aside, where no one could trip over them. I walked giddily toward the living room, where the hum and flicker of the telly seemed to be hypnotizing Da. He sat eerily still, an abandoned pipe next to him on the coffee table. My amorous mood faded.
"Da," I yawned, quickly squeezing his shoulder. He reached up and grabbed my hand. His face was drawn and pale, and I moved quickly around his chair so I could sit at his feet.
"What, Da? What happened?"
"There was another skirmish, Bella. Now they're trying to really enforce the neighborhood separations, forcibly removing families and relocating them." He shook his head slowly, apparently having a rough time believing the words coming from his own mouth.
I scowled. "But…that makes no sense. You saw that on the news?" I looked at the telly, which was still on despite there being no picture. The broadcasts had ended at least an hour before.
Da didn't answer. I stood up and embraced him as tightly as I could. He patted my back absently before I stepped away, and settled back into his armchair. It broke my heart to see him so defeated.
Suddenly it became a bit clearer why the boys were doing what they were.
