AN: Hey Guys! Thanks so much for the nice reveiws its nice to know people are enjoying the story. Just to warn you this chapter is longer than the others so hopefully you won't get bored.
Hope you like this chapter!
Chapter 3 Forgiving Yourself
Outside Anakin looked at the 2 suns in the distance and didn't know what to do. Being back here was hell to Anakin. Why did they have to be on this planet? Any other planet would have been fine just not this planet. He looked up at the suns again and noticed they had started setting. He thought he'd better get this over with so he walked across the sand until he reached the graves. He reached the one he wanted and never wanted to reach and touched the head stone. Tears fell down his face uncontrollably but he didn't wipe them away.
"I know you don't want me to feel regret mom but I do." Anakin said. "And I also know that you want me to be happy. I'm happy when I'm with Padmé. She makes me feel loved and I love her so much, mom and I don't know what I'd do if I lost her." More tears slid down Anakin's cheeks.
Naboo
Padmé suddenly woke up. She wasn't in any pain but something was wrong. Tears started to fall down her cheeks. She knew he was hurting. Hurting badly and she didn't know how to help him. Padmé got out of bed and headed for the balcony. She remembered she had asked Sola to stay with her at Varykino that night because she couldn't face being alone. Padmé found the place she was looking for. The place that meant the most to her. To them.
She leaned against the wall of the balcony and let the tears fall. She didn't hear her sister come up behind her.
"Padmé?" Padmé didn't turn around. "What's wrong?" Sola asked. "I feel his pain" Padmé said. Sola looked confused but listened to what Padmé had to say. "He's hurting Sola. He's hurting so badly. I have to go. I have to go and find him" Padmé sobbed. "You know he wouldn't want to risk your life trying to find him" Sola said soothingly. "I know where he is Sola and I have to go." Padmé said. "You can come if you want or stay here it's your choice but I'm going now. I just need to get changed."
Padmé walked off toward her room and came out 5 minutes later dressed in a simple dress and a cloak rapped around her body to cover who she was. She noticed that Sola had changed as well and smiled slightly knowing that she wouldn't be alone. Without saying a word they walked towards Padmé's ship and took off. Padmé entered the coordinates for Tatooine. It wouldn't take long to get to Tatooine and Padmé was relieved that he wasn't on some other planet and that he was close to her.
When they finally arrived it was dark. She remembered how dangerous Tatooine is at night but she didn't care. She found her way to Anakin's stepbrother's farm and landed quietly. Sola didn't understand how she knew he was here but she went along anyway. The ramp lowered and Padmé and Sola emerged. Even though it was pitch black there was a light which Padmé knew was the farm. She ran towards the light with Sola following right behind her.
The light went out when they were right outside and they were now standing outside in the pitch black. Padmé found her way to the wall of the hut but suddenly 2 figures came out of the hut. There were 3 glows coming towards them one was blue the other two were green. The 2 figures approached them at a fast speed and the two women cried out in shock. The lights illuminated the two woman's faces to the figures but the two women couldn't see who was holding them because the light blinded their vision. The figure with the blue blade froze. The other figure froze in confusion as to what their companion was doing.
One of the figures turned to the other and said something that neither Padmé or Sola could hear. They made a motion for the 2 women to follow them into the hut where they could see them properly. Once they were inside the blades were lowered and the colour faded. They were all standing in the dark until one of them spoke.
"Master turn the lights on I can't see a single thing." A faint light appeared in the corner of the room and the 2 figures saw the two women properly for the first time. Padmé let out a small sigh of relief and a small smile. Her smile soon disappeared when Anakin and Ahsoka started talking.
"Senator!" Ahsoka said in shock. "What are you doing here?" "I...I was..." Padmé stuttered but Anakin stopped her. "Ahsoka I need you to go back to bed. I can handle this" he said. Ahsoka was about to protest but then thought she would get anywhere so she bid them goodnight and walked towards her room.
Anakin watched her go before turning to Padmé. He had a look on his face that she had never seen before. She tried to speak but no words came out. A tear ran down her check and she looked down to hide her pain. Sola thought it would be best if she would talk. "Padmé felt your pain" she began. "She thought you were in trouble so we came looking for you. I didn't understand why but I followed her and we ended up here." Anakin looked from Sola to Padmé. "Sola can you give us some time alone?" he said. "You can sleep in my room if you want." She nodded and left the two of them alone.
"I...I don't know what to say" Padmé said. Anakin just looked at her with a blank expression. "If you want me to go then I'll go. It's just that..." But Anakin cut her off. "Do you know how much I've missed you?" He said. "What?" Padmé asked confused. "Do you known how much I've missed you?" Anakin said again. "Well if its half as much as I've missed you then I think I know how much." Padmé said with a slight smile. Anakin chuckled slightly. "I've been so worried about you Padmé. I can't sleep without you by my side. I've missed looking at you. Holding you. Kissing you. Making love to you. I've missed every little thing about you and it's driven me mad" Anakin said.
Padmé looked down at her feet. A few more tears fell down her face and she turned away from him to hide her face. Anakin hated to see her in pain so he came up behind her and turned her around gently. He lifted her chin up so he could see into her eyes. He loved her eyes so much. They are such a deep chocolate colour. A few more tears trickled down her checks. Anakin gently wiped them away with his thumb.
"I love you so much Padmé" Anakin said. "I love you, Anakin" Padmé said. They looked into each other's eyes for a moment longer until they couldn't take it anymore. Their lips met in a tender kiss. A kiss that showed how much they loved each other. Their lips moved together and they kissed until they ran out of breath.
Just then Sola came back into the room. "I'm sorry." She said. "I just came to get some water." Anakin nodded and walked out of the door out of the room. Padmé watched him go and wondered where he was going.
"Did you tell him?" Sola asked. Padmé shook her head. Sola sighed. "Why not Padmé?" "I can't" Padmé said. "Not here, not now. I just can't." Sola nodded and left the room for the kitchen. Once she had her drink she left the kitchen and headed for the bedroom leaving Padmé alone.
She decided to go and find Anakin and she had an idea as to where he might be. She walked through the hovel until she made her way to the garage. She walked in and saw Anakin sitting on the floor where he had sat 3 years ago. She sat down next to him but didn't say anything.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. They didn't need to talk. Padmé knew what Anakin was going through. His pain was her pain. She lifted her right hand and put it on Anakin's left hand which he had on his knee. He entwined the fingers but didn't say anything.
"You have to forgive yourself" Padmé said. Anakin didn't look at her. "I forgive you" she went on "your Mom forgives you. You need to forgive yourself. It's killing you. And it's killing me watching it killing you."
A tear trickled down her cheek. "It will eat away at you until there's nothing left and I can't let that happen to you" Padmé went on. "We have to move on and focus on the future. Keep your mothers memory alive."
Anakin let go of her hand, stood up and walked over to the other side of the garage. "What if I can't" he said. "What if I can't forgive myself? I feel all this anger and hatred inside me, and I don't know what to do. I... I can't lose you the way I lost Mom. I can't let that happen. I'd do anything for you. I can't stop this anger inside me and I know it's the dark side Padmé. I know it is."
Tears were falling down his cheeks. Padmé went to him and embraced him. Anakin never wanted to let go of her. "I'm not going anywhere Ani," Padmé said. "I promise. Come on."
She took his hand and started towards the door of the garage. "You look exhausted. You need sleep." "Sola's in my room and Ahsoka is in hers there aren't any more rooms left and you are having the couch" Anakin said.
"You're coming with me." Padmé said "I can't, it's too risky" Anakin said. "It doesn't matter" Padmé said shocking Anakin. "Sola knows already and I need you in my arms. The nights are so lonely."
Before he could say anything Padmé pulled him out of the room and into the lounge. It was then that she noticed the blankets by the side of the couch. It was going to be squashed but neither care because they just wanted to be close to each other. They stay fully clothed and Padmé picked up the blanket and laid it down on the couch. Padmé laid down on the couch first and after a few seconds Anakin joined her. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lips. Padmé sighed and drifted off to sleep and Anakin wasn't far behind her.
