The winter holiday found Isaac isolated for the most part. The great hall still held a few students who had not gone home, but Isaac's house was pretty sparse and though he noticed The-Boy-who-Lived lingered along with the Weasleys. For a while Isaac considered going to speak with the famous wizard who had survived the unsurvivable killing curse, but he never really found the opportunity to do so and in time it took to the back burner as he began his lessons in earnest.

Instead he visited the library, combining the shelves for books that extended past those on the requirement list. The first year books were sort of interesting, they covered introductory into the subjects and spell work, but the studious RavenClaw found that they did little to sate his thirst for knowledge. Isaac would never be good with a wand, he'd hoped that in time the spells would come easier and it was painfully obvious that it was not going to happen, so instead the first year focused on finding other avenues to utilize his weak magical core.

Potions was a given, same with herbology, Divination, and flying if he got the opportunity in the future, but after speaking with some of the older members of his house Isaac realized that there were many other branches to explore. Ancient Runes and Arithmancy were both offered at Hogwarts, but mind magic such as Occlumency was something that had to be learned through other means. But the library had failed him in that regard, as he could not find a single book on actually learning the mind magic, at least not in the regular section.

Isaac stole a glance at the door leading to the restricted section of the library before shifting to the frame of Madam Pince reading a thick tome. Isaac was not one for breaking rules, but he loathed the idea of restricting information, especially since they'd bothered to keep it right here in the school. 'If the books are that dangerous then they'd be better of removed all together.' Still, he could land in a lot of trouble for crossing the divider, and detention was not appealing to any young boy.

He was still pondering his situation as he read his runes book before realization struck, 'This isn't the only place in Hogwarts to look for a book.' Smiling to himself, Isaac moved to check out his material and made his way back to the RavenClaw Common Room.

A short while later and his patience was rewarded, 'Defending the mind: A wizards guide to Occlumency.' It was the only book on the subject but there was no helping that. Since he could not take the book back out of the common room, Isaac reasoned that prioritizing Occlumency was best.


Isaac sat before a dimming fire, his body relaxed and his eyes closed as he sunk into the chair cushion. The tower was mostly silent, all the other occupants slumbering in their dorms, but even if it weren't Isaac doubted he would hear anything over his rhythmic breathing and heartbeat. Three months had passed since he began his practice of the mind magic and yet his progress was frustratingly slow. No matter how many hours he sat and meditated nothing seemed to happen.

The book gave multiple theories on how Occlumency worked, from clearing the mind to constructing mazes to hide the information, and Isaac could not help but feel duped as it seemed that it was a flimsy sort of magic that depended heavily on will and imagination to practice, especially if there was no one to perform the legilimency spell. But there was one thing that the book mentioned that made it all worthwhile, meditation to feel his magical core.

'Most wizards, unlike the various monks I've encountered around the world, never take the time for an introspective journey, or if they do, lack the patience to endure for the time needed. I've found that by meditating regularly and becoming more aware of my body that one can eventually sense their own magical core outside of actively using it for spellwork.'

Isaac believed himself to be a rational child, he knew that professionals had examined his injury and determined that there was no fixing his core. Yet there was room for error. There were cases in which people who were written off overcame the odds with sheer determination or faith. Men were never supposed to walk again stood on shaky limbs and took tentative steps, women who could never conceive finally bearing a child. He knew that it was a longshot, that even if he did find a way to touch his magical core that it would still remain weak, but even if there was even a nano-percent chance of success Isaac would try.

But before he could try to heal his core, he would need to see it first, and now all he saw and felt was darkness. With a heavy sigh he opened his eyes and twitched as he saw a pale white figure in his peripherals. The gray lady was just as her title described, a soft pale white woman in a elegant dress heavily stained with grey blood, "Don't suppose you have any advice on meditation?"

In a soft voice just above a whisper she answered, "No. It was never a popular practice in Europe."

Isaac snorted, "Figures. From my understanding the Wizarding World is nearly incapable of change unless a boot is to their throat."

"Wizards are raised to cling fast to their traditions, this is true. But muggles are not so different either, from what I remember."

"True, but we've made much more progress."

"How many wars did that take?"

The boy could not fight the grin from his face, "Many." The two sat in comfortable silence as the fire continued to flicker. Isaac may not have had the grand first year experience that seemed to intoxicate the other students, but he cherished his friendship with the Gray lady. She had found him the second week of school. He had wandered off into the night when dreams of his mother brought him to tears in an empty classroom. She was there to comfort him and when he found her a week later, he returned the favor. Since then she'd find him sometime during the week, and the two would catch up.

"Are there more traditional means to increase one's magic?"

She was silent for a spell, looking into the fire while her thoughts raced, "There are ways. It was not uncommon for wizards to perform rituals of animal sacrifice to temporarily bolster their strength before a battle or undertaking a momentous task."

Isaac's eyebrows rose as his eyes widened, "I didn't see anything of the sort in the history books."

She frowned, "And you won't. Those practices have been labeled as 'Dark Arts' and so the Ministry ordered the information proscribed. I doubt anyone but the oldest of the pureblood families have books with the ritual information tucked away."

"I guess that's no major loss. I wouldn't want to keep killing animals just to do better in class."

She shook her head, the gray locks shimmering against the soft light "Not at all. Though animals were easier to deal with, to gain the boost of power you seek, another human would have to be sacrificed."

His blood ran cold, "Human sacrifices?"

She nodded, "Yes. It was a widely known secret, but it was done. It was how a lot of great wizards and witches gained their strength, including the founders of Hogwarts."

"That's barbaric! How could such a thing be allowed even in those days?"

"Well for the longest time it was because there was no rule against it, and usually it was done between family members. In today's society squibs can mingle with muggles or take up trades in the wizarding world like the caretaker, but back then there were hardly any squibs. If a child did not show any sign of magic by their tenth birthday then they were often sacrificed to give make the family stronger."

Isaac was eerily still, though his face was pale. The idea of killing someone was appalling, but a family member set it to new depths of depravity. "The founders, they did this as well?"

"All of them at least once." If she felt anything about her own mother being included in the group it did not show, and Isaac knew by now that mentioning anything about Rowena Raven was dangerous waters.

An oppressive silence settled over them, and Isaac tired his best not to imagine a crying child on the alter begging for their life.

0-0-0-0

His routine continued well into the end of the school year. Isaac was able to pay some older house members to buy him books from Hogsmeade, so there was no shortage of information, with the exception of Occlumency. He was still unable to make a breakthrough with his meditation, and arithmancy was so number heavy that most times it just confused him, but ancient runes was going well. He was a long way from implementing the knowledge he had gained, and probably would be for a while longer, but in that subject he felt that he was at least gaining ground.

After his talk with The Gray Lady he had intended to look deeper into the Ministry and politics for the wizarding world, but his plate was already full without adding even more extra curricular activities, so he decided to tackle that in the summer.

A few times during his lessons Isaac caught site of other children laughing and with their friends as they walked the halls. Most of the time he was too engrossed in his own thoughts to really pay attention, but those few times he did Isaac could not help the pang of loneliness that crept into his heart and mind. The worst was when he was in the hospital wing.

He was running a fever and could not keep his food down, so he decided to see the school healer. Once inside he found Potter and Granger sitting next to Weasley's bed. Apparently he'd taken Potter's broom for a ride and took a spill. He didn't look too bad as he sat there laughing about the experience and sharing stories about his older brothers doing roughly the same thing. Maybe it was the fever but Isaac couldn't help but think about blonde haired Jessica Rivers with her bossy attitude and American accent. That one stray thought was enough to break the dam as memories of his friends from school rushed past. He didn't even realize the tears in his eyes until Madame Pomfrey addressed him. He swore it was allergies.

The feeling of isolation was a constant reminder that the wizarding world was not Isaac's world, and now, thanks to the actions of a criminal, neither was the regular world. He would likely never see his friends again and he would not be adopted or go to school with regular children. Needless to say the muggle born welcomed the end of term.

Oddly enough the last few days of school bore a rumor about Voldemort and the Boy who lived clashing in Hogwarts with Professor Quirrell as a casualty. Isaac thought it was lunacy. Hogwarts was impressively warded, at least according to the books, and Voldemort was dead. Even if that second part weren't true, how could a first year student best a full grown and experience wizard? But the absence of the Defense teacher and Potter in the hospital wing were stubbornly taken as proof to the rumors, and so they continued to speculate. And perhaps there was some truth to it, one the last day before they announced the house trophy winner, Professor Dumbledore awarded over three hundred points to the Gryffindor house, winning them the cup. No one missed the Slytherin house member's sour expressions.

With a small parting of ways with The Gray Lady, Isaac left the castle, boarded the train and began reading his books in earnest. For a moment a flash of blonde hair passed his door, and he found himself back on the school bench reading Julius Caesar. Only the book was never pulled away, the game continued without him. The pages could offer him no comfort.

End

This one is a bit shorter than the others, but to be honest there is nothing in the first year that i could really have Isaac go through that would really mean anything. Second year however, is when things really pick up. Monster's, rumors, new housemates, and a better understanding of the wizarding world. I hope to see you next time.