The sunlight emanating from between the cracks of his blinds was what pulled James from his short sleep. At least it seemed short. His body still felt heavy from exhaustion and his eyes put up one hell of a fight when he tried to keep them open. He laid in bed, stretching out the soreness he was experiencing from spending his time asleep in one uncomfortable position.

He'd spent the entire night cleaning the house. As much as his body begged him for sleep, he pushed through all his chores and managed to finish them and hurry up to his room just as his father came home. He listened for the sound of the front door slamming shut and the noise the couch always made as his father drunkenly hurled himself down on it. He was finally able to let his tired body rest at nearly five in the morning.

James rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and rolled over, facing away from the offending window. He yawned and let his eyes slip shut, hoping he could rest for just a little bit longer. He was so tired. So very, extremely, unnecessarily tired.

Suddenly, he wondered what time it was. He remembered how they were all suppose to meet at Kendall's house in the afternoon, twelve o'clock sharp like they usually did. He wondered how much time he still had until he absolutely had to start getting ready to go.

Lazily, he shifted his eyes to look at the digital clock across the room, located on his dresser. He immediately shot up when he saw what the blue numbers on the clock read. 2:34.

James quickly reached for his cell phone and slid it open. Just as he had thought, twenty-eight new text messages, seventeen missed calls. All of them from the guys. Twelve of the texts and seven of the calls were from Logan. Logan.

Shit.

James wanted to slap himself for forgetting to text Logan. He just got sidetracked with his chores and he was just so tired. He completely forgot. He knew Logan must have been worried sick. He probably freaked out when James didn't call him within half an hour of his departure last night.

He finished dressing and styled his hair as quickly as he possibly could. When he couldn't get the style just right, he gave up and grabbed a baseball hat that was laying on the floor and threw it on his head. He was just about to stuff his phone in his pocket and bolt for the door when the phone rang in his hand.

He stared down at it and waited a second for the caller ID to pop up. Kendall. James was quick to press the answer button and bring the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Finally! We've been calling you for hours, man! Where the hell are you?" Kendall's voice was both concerned and frustrated.

"I'm at home, sorry." James said, lamely.

"We stopped by your house twice. It didn't look like anyone was home. We thought you were out with your dad or something."

James silently laughed. Out with his father? Where would they go together? A bar? At least he knew his father was gone for the day though. James knew he wouldn't be home again until late that night. Late as in a few hours after James had fallen asleep kind of late.

"My dad's at work. I've been sleeping. Sorry." James sighed, feeling terrible about worrying his friends. He should have known better. He should have set his alarm clock.

"You've been sleeping all this time? Are you okay? You're not sick, are you? When did you get to bed?" Logan's voice could be heard now. Apparently, James was on speakerphone.

James felt his cheeks redden with embarrassment and was glad his friends weren't able to witness it. "I was just really tired."

"Why didn't you call me when you got in? I thought something happened to you." Logan told him, sounding a bit neglected.

"It's true! He called me at midnight and wanted to form a search party!" James heard Carlos yell from a distance.

James felt increasingly bad about the whole thing. He never meant to worry Logan to the extent of him going to look for him. "Logan, I'm really sorry. I was just so tired. I came home and completely crashed. I'm so sorry, man."

"It's okay, James. I understand. You were exhausted. It's alright. We had a big day, yesterday. But, gosh, you were sleeping for a long time. Are you sure you're okay? How do you feel?" Logan asked, letting his doctor mode kick in before he was even sure he'd need it.

"Relax, Logan, I'm fine. Just…tired, I guess." James sighed again as he sat down on his bed. He wasn't sure why, but he still felt sleepy. He'd slept long enough. He shouldn't have been tired anymore, but he was.

"Still tired? After all this time? Something isn't right. Maybe I should stop by and make sure you're okay." That was so Logan. He always needed to be sure his friends were in good shape. And he needed to see it for himself. Hearing the condition of a friend from someone else was no where near good enough for the future doctor.

"Logan, really. I'm alright. I'll meet you guys at Kendall's in fifteen minutes." James said, balancing the phone between his ear and shoulder as he pulled on his sneaker.

"James, no. If you aren't feeling well just stay home. We can always come visit you later."

"I'm not sick. I'm just tired, probably because I just woke up. I'll see you guys soon, alright?"

There was pause on the other end of the phone. James heard Logan let out a deep breath before he gave his response.

"Alright. See you soon." He finally agreed.

James hung up the phone and slid it into the pocket of his jeans. He ran down the stairs, not even stopping to gander at the living room, which had been torn apart. He knew his father must have had a lady friend over for a quickie this morning. He knew that it must have been wild and kinky and it was a wonder it hadn't woken him up.

He also knew he'd be paying for their mess later.

He didn't have time to care though. He threw open the front door and stepped out into the chilly Minnesota air, ready to begin the journey to Kendall's house. He was in a hurry to get out of the house and see his friends. So they knew for sure he was okay. So Logan knew he was okay. Mostly, so he knew he was okay.

His friends were what kept him sane. His friends were his rock and without them, he knew he wouldn't make it. It wasn't like he told them about his problems. He did everything in his power to make sure they didn't know about his frequent abuse, his father's alcohol problem, or anything about his home life. It was a good thing lying came naturally to him, because over the years he'd done plenty of it. Especially when it came to the topic of his mother.

But James didn't need someone to listen to him bitch about his life. He didn't want to be the kind of person to call his friends crying in the middle of the night when he had one of the nightmares that haunted him. He was a big boy. And big boys do not cry. And if they do, no one is to ever know it.

All James needed was a release. This was something his three best friends could easily provide. When he was with them, he could pretend that he was a normal teenager without anything to hide. He could be happy. He was free, if only for a little while. His troubles just melted away as he hung out with the guys. Despite everything he went through, he at least had his friends.

James finally made it onto Kendall's block. He could see the average sized white and green house appear into his range of vision. He bit his bottom lip, hoping they wouldn't question him any further when he got there. He just wanted to hang out with his friends and pretend everything was alright. He wanted to forget.

He made his way up the steps and opened the front door, stepping inside and kicking his wet sneakers onto the mat. There comes a point in every friendship when you don't need to knock anymore. James, Kendall, Carlos and Logan were way beyond that point by now. None of them ever knocked, except for Logan who insisted on remaining polite, no matter how long they'd been friends.

James heard footsteps coming down the stairs and looked up to see his three friends coming to greet him. James felt embarrassed as he began to notice a concerned look spread across Logan's face.

"Where's your jacket?" Logan inquired.

James looked down at his bare arms, tinted red from the cold. How could he have forgotten? "I was in such a hurry to get here, I must have forgotten."

"Kendall, grab him a blanket," Logan instructed, never taking his eyes off of James, "James, it's like thirty degrees out. You're going to get sick."

Kendall came back with a warm fleece blanket, which James gratefully excepted. He hadn't even noticed that he forgot his jacket, but now that Logan had brought it to his attention he was really feeling it.

"I'll be fine, Logan, stop worrying." James said, as he pulled the blanket tighter around his freezing arms.

Logan eyed him like a hawk, suspicion and worry evident on his face. It made James feel uncomfortable, almost as if he was naked. He could feel Logan staring right through him.

"Are you sure you're okay? Something seems a little…off today." Logan said.

"Yeah, I'm good. Now what are we standing around for? Let's play some Call of Duty!" James smiled as he exclaimed.

"Me!" Carlos shouted, eyes wide and both hands held high in the air, "Come on, let's go! I call the green controller!"

James laughed at his friend's enthusiasm and he felt relieved when he saw Kendall and Logan smirking as well. They all followed a bouncing Carlos into the living room and set up the game.

Things were going great. They'd been playing for an about an hour, laughing and chatting as they always did. Carlos' character ran around blowing things up, while the other three actually tried playing the game. They joked around, as it was a typical Sunday for the group.

Suddenly, Carlos' character threw a grenade right at James'. The James character exploded, splattering blood everywhere.

"Carlos! That is NOT how you play Call of Duty! You just killed me, man!" James half spoke, half yelled.

"So? It's fun, you should try it!" Carlos beamed, obviously not taking James seriously.

"No, it's not fun, Carlos! That was my last life!" James pouted.

Carlos made a 'psh' noise and reached over to James head. "You need to lighten up! Live a little!" He smiled as he playfully knocked James' hat off his head.

James saw a look of shock spread over their faces as he they all gasped, looking straight at him. He gave them a puzzled look.

"What?" He asked. What could they possibly be staring at? Did he have something on his face?

Kendall pointed at his friends head. "Your hair…" He trailed off.

"It's all messed up." Carlos finished for him in awe.

James ran a hand through his tousled hair and gave a sheepish smile. "I didn't have time to style it."

"But you always make time to style it!" Logan mentioned. It was true. No matter how long it took, James' hair was always done perfectly. He was just in such a rush this morning…

"Yeah, well, not today. I figured I could go a day without, I mean it is only us four…I don't need to impress anyone today." He explained.

He really wished the topic would change off his hair and onto something else. Anything else. So far the attention had been on him today. Normally, he was alright with that. But today was different. His friends, mostly Logan, were getting too nosey. If he wasn't careful, they would figure out something wasn't right. And once they knew something was wrong there was absolutely no stopping them from finding out the secrets he'd worked so long and hard on to protect.

Kendall raised one of his huge eyebrows at him in a questioning manner. Carlos continued to stare at him with wide, brown eyes so wide that it pulled his ears back. It was obvious that Logan was catching onto him, by the way he was looking at him.

James felt a little bit angry. Why couldn't his friends just leave him alone? Nothing was even wrong. So his father made him stay up a little late to clean up the house, big deal. He'd been a hell of a lot worse off in the past. There were days that he had to stay in bed, claiming he didn't feel well after his dad beat him so hard it was difficult to breath. He'd been locked in closets for entire nights. Staying up late to do housework was the least of his problems.

Besides, his father did work. Even if it wasn't as often as his friends thought it was, he did work and he did pay the bills. Well, most of the time anyway. His father worked three or four days a week, twelve or eighteen hour shifts at a time. The least James could do to repay him was tidy up and stay out of trouble.

Just as he was about to scold the guys for making a mountain out of a molehill, he felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his jeans. Quickly, he dug it out and looked at the called ID.

Dad.

James felt his heart drop and his stomach begin to ache. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. What was his father doing calling him? Was he home? He shouldn't be home. It was only four in the afternoon. He was never home so early. James swallowed the lump in his throat as he slid open his phone to answer it.

"Hello?" He asked, using his best acting skills to not let slip the nervousness he was feeling.

"Wherever you are. Get. The fuck. Home. Now." His father's voice hissed. His voice was low and dangerous and more than enough to provoke the fear that James immediately was met with.

He gulped. "Alright, I'll be right there." He answered his father, making it seem like he wasn't at all terrified in front of his friends. He slid the phone shut and shoved it back into his pocket, standing to his feet.

"I have to go, my dad needs me at home." He told his friends.

"What happened?" Kendall asked, glancing up to him.

"Oh, his car broke down again. He needs my help to get it running." James lied right through those pretty little teeth of his. That was one of his excuses. The car breaking down. James had his friends tricked into thinking that he and his father liked to work on the car together, and that often James would help fix it every time it broke down. It wasn't hard to believe if you'd ever seen Mr. Diamond's car.

"Alright, see you later, James." Kendall nodded as he turned back to the TV screen to play with Carlos.

"Bye, James!" Carlos called out, eyes glued to the screen as he commanded his character to throw more bombs.

James smiled at them, happy that his friends' attention had finally averted away from him. James strode toward the front door, ready to make his journey back to Hell.

"Wait," he turned to see Logan calling to him, "It's cold out. Take one of Kendall's jackets."

James smiled, knowing that this would be his last one for a while. "Thanks, Logan. See you tomorrow."

James walked out of Kendall's house with an old jacket to keep him warm. He took a deep breath in and the freezing air stung his lungs. He said a silent prayer as he began the walk back to his so called 'home'.

Okay, so it's probably obvious that I know nothing about videogames. Bear with me please. Sorry it took sooooo long to update, but you have no idea how long it took me to write this while trying to work two jobs. Well. It's here now, at least. So let me know, what did YOU, the reader, think?