"Cullen, give me a plan, anything!"

The words echoed in the back of Cullen's mind, his amber hues losing focus on the paperwork on his desk. His brows furrowed slightly as his eyes closed, flashes of memories suddenly shaking their way through his mind. He rested his mouth against his tented hands, elbows resting on his desk and feet planted firmly beneath it. He saw Alnis' frantic expression as the army of rebel mages made their approach on Haven. She looked scared, but not for herself, but for the lives of her followers, for their men.-For him. He saw her cause a devastating avalanche over Corypheus' forces, wiping out the many lights of fire on the mountain side. He saw that blasted dragon nearly take her and her entire team out with a fireball to one of the trebuchet's, sending burning wood and hunks of metal flying in all directions. Cullen's throat felt dry as he thought of everything that happened at Haven, his brows furrowing further and his hands beginning to tremble slightly. She'd saved everyone that was able to be saved in Haven, she had fought valiantly to protect the people who supported her, and even those who questioned her authority on a daily basis. And the entire time she looked to him, the Commander of the Inquisition forces, for orders. She relied on him to tell her exactly what needed to be done, exactly what she should do. She trusted in him.

"-And you let her down." He muttered bitterly to himself, though the visions did not pass. They only came faster, more sporadic, harsher on his mind and psyche.

"There was no bargaining with the mages, either. This Elder One takes what it wants. From what I gathered in Redcliffe, it marched all the way here to take your Herald."

Dorian's words had hit him like a ton of bricks, and as Cullen looked to Alnis for her reaction, he felt a knot form in the pit of her stomach. She was trembling, her hands balled into tight fists at her sides, brows knitted close together. Despite the obvious fear in her body, she answered firmly, lifting her chin almost in defiance to what Corypheus wanted.

"Then he'll have me, if it means saving Haven."

Cullen still didn't know what possessed him to speak up, to suggest something so foolish. It was his idea to turn the trebuchet's to the mountains above Haven, to bury the beginning of the Inquisition. He never would have thought that Alnis, the timid elf girl who seemed to do all she could to hide from the spotlight, to disappear into shadows, would be so willing to-

"Cullen, get them out. I'll-"

Her words had faltered, and so had Cullen's resolve. He felt a sharp pain in his heart then, and he still did as he remembered. She bit her lip so hard, that blood dribbled out of her mouth, but Alnis was quick to wipe it away, to hide her fear from them.

"-I'll keep Corypheus busy so that you all can escape."

Cullen couldn't help himself, he'd spoken up, demanding an answer.

"And when the mountain falls? What about you?"

She was their Herald, their guiding light, the very beacon of the Inquisition before she even became the Inquisitor. The world needed her, their people needed her, and-...and he, needed her. Cullen's trembling was getting worse, his heart racing in his ears and his breathing becoming rushed and heavy. He could see her face so vividly in his head, how she nervously glanced away from him to the floor, how her gloves strained against the skin of her hands when they tightened into fists, and how her bottom lip trembled, now swollen from her chewing. Dorian was the one who finally spoke up, forcing Cullen and the others to start heading towards the back of the Chantry building, a place that once served as protection for them all. Cullen could only hope it would do the same for Alnis, somehow.

Despite his reluctance, Cullen had commanded his troops firmly, as he always did, as he was always expected to. He had to be strong for his men, and he had to be strong for Alnis who stood so still he thought for an instance she'd turned to stone, mumbling what he later found out was a Dalish prayer under her breath. And once again, Cullen gave the Herald her orders, though he would be a liar if he said his voice didn't waver, and if he didn't want to hold her, to comfort her fears, to stay with her.

"They'll loud the trebuchet's. Keep the Elder One's attention until we're above the tree line."

She nodded to him, and started to walk away, but he wasn't fast enough. His hand reached out to grab her, but she was already out of reach, stopping only when he spoke up again. His words were firm, and his body stiff. She would be okay. She was stronger than she let on, he knew that, but Cullen felt sick to his stomach when he thought about how relieved she seemed at his supportive words, even offering him a smile, before disappearing out into the battlefield.

It hadn't stopped there though, the memories were so fast and blurred, the voices in his head loud and echoing, while some came in mere whispers, stinging his ears. As they made their way up through the path that Chancellor Roderick had shown them, the Commander would stop occasionally, to look down over Haven, hoping to see Alnis. He watched her fight wave after wave of red Templars and mages, with Solas, Cole, and Iron Bull right there with her. They'd make sure she was okay, they would see to her safety, they had to. They continued up the path, Cullen stopping again to watch the battle, but-something was wrong. He watched in horror as Alnis finished aiming the trebuchet herself, only for Corypheus' dragon to come swooping down, raining fire down upon them all. The flames had caused an explosion, sending Alnis flying onto her back, and leaving her team separated. He watched, completely frozen, as she slowly got to her feet, Corypheus' wretched form stalking towards her. Fire kept her from her team, and Cullen whispered a choked disagreement as she screamed at them to go, and they listened, running from the fight towards the Chantry building.

"-Cullen."

Corypheus was saying something to Alnis, and Cullen wished with every fibre of his being that he was down there with her, to aid her in her fight. His heart was throbbing so loudly in his hears, he couldn't hear anything else around him, not even his men and Dorian yelling at him to keep moving. His stomach lurched as that Maker damned dragon came crashing it's way up behind her, blocking her way and circling her like she was it's prey. Even as far away as he was, he could see that Alnis was yelling back at this 'elder one', her stance defensive and her body rigid. Corypheus pointed at her, saying something that Cullen could not hear again, only for Alnis to respond and him to raise that blasted orb, before beginning to try and remove the Anchor. The Herald fell to her knees, and Cullen subconsciously stepped forward on the path, as if hoping to make it to her in time to do anything. The mark was going mad, flashing brightly and shaking her entire body, while Corypheus' continued to talk, his 'pet' circling closer to Alnis.

"Don't you fucking touch her."

Cullen muttered under his breath, his eyes darting around behind his closed eyes, a reoccurring sound just barely reaching his ears though he was unsure as to what it was. He stayed focused on Alnis, watching in anger and fear as Corypheus grabbed her, lifted her into the air like she weighed no more than a child. She desperately flailed and kicked at him, and the sight made the Commander shudder, his heart jumping into his throat. A choked gasp fell from his lips as the Elder One threw the Herald into the trebuchet, her small frame sliding down and crumpling in on itself.

"Cullen."

She laid there, holding her ribs and staring at Corypheus as he slowly started to approach her, still talking about things Cullen couldn't hear. He desperately fumbled for his spyglass, bringing it to his eye and focusing in on Alnis. She was breathing heavily and looked to be in so much pain. Her green eyes glanced quickly to a sword beside her, and Cullen whispered a harsh 'no' under his breath.

"Cullen!"

Alnis stood weakly and grabbed the sword, gritting her teeth and pointing it at elder one and his dragon. She didn't even know how to properly use a sword, she was an archer and Cullen hadn't had the chance to train her! Suddenly, a hand grabbed Cullen by the shoulder and spun him around, the commander shocked to see Varric staring up at him, looking frantic and solemn. "We gotta move curly!" He yelled, and Cullen glanced over his shoulder once more, only to watch Alnis cut the trebuchet line. He and Varric sprinted the short distance past the tree line, and he was forced to watch the snow take over Haven, with no sign of Alnis, and Corypheus flying off with his dragon.

"Cullen!"

The shout brought the Commander to his senses, eyes flying open and his head whipping around in surprise. He was sweating and breathing hard, and when he finally managed to focus on the voice that brought him out of his visions, he was both surprised, and relieved to see Alnis crouching slightly beside his chair. She looked worried, her brows furrowed and her hand resting gently on his shoulder. "Cullen, are you alright? You were muttering to yourself and shaking, do you want me to go get Do-"

Cullen didn't let her finish, instead he wrapped his arms around her small frame and pulled her down across his lap, holding her tightly to his chest. She gasped sharply in surprise, her face burning as soon as she realized what had just happened, the blush spreading up her long ears. "C-Cullen what's wro-"

"I'm so glad you're okay." He interrupted her, burying his face in the crook of her shoulder, petting the back of her head gently. Alnis fell quiet, her expression softening and a small smile spreading across her face. She brought her arms around his broad shoulders, nuzzling her own face into the fur of his pauldrons. "Of course I'm okay. I couldn't very well let something happen to me, who would make sure you eat your meals on time, and get enough rest?" She asked softly, her slightly joking tone only making Cullen sigh deeply, his grip tightening. "I won't let you go, not again." He said firmly, pulling away to look down at his lover, brows furrowed in adamant decision. Alnis seemed surprised at first, but her smile returned, and she let one of her delicate hands rest against the crook of his jaw. "I know."

Cullen nodded firmly and gently leaned down to kiss her, Alnis sighing dreamily and letting her Commander, and her lover, hold her there for what felt like hours. Perhaps she should stop by to give him paperwork more often.