A/N: Okay. A special thanks to my only reviewer so far, Manwathiel. You made my day and as a reward, here's capitulo tres. Bon appetit.

Disclaimer: is a fun word to say in different accents. It also means that I don't own anything you recognize… I just wish I did.


Chapter three

For a brief moment the narrator stared blankly at the screen, trying to remember where she left off. As the drool that hung from her mouth hit the desk, she was suddenly shocked into remembrance.

"What bullsh-AHHHH!" Charlie's sentence ended in a scream of horror.

Under the jeep, the ground had opened up with a horrible noise which sounded an awful lot like the ground opening up below you. The jeep and everything in it, fell through the massive hole which promptly closed itself up again.

Still screaming, Charlie managed to crack an eye open and looked around her. Much to her surprise she wasn't falling through frightening darkness with large boulders all around her. Instead she was falling rapidly from the sky.

"Well, that's weird," Charlie thought, as she looked around. Then she remembered she was supposed to be screaming and began to do so again.


"Look Gutdrag," said one orc to the other as they stood in an open field. "I found some!"

Gutrdrag hobbled over to his friend. "Oh and they are pretty." Bending down he carefully plucked a daisy. "They'll go perfect on you, Fartharp."

"Really," asked Farthrap. "Well, no where near as good as you look in the garland of pink flowers we made yesterday."

Gutdrag was about to protest the compliment when his ears caught a strange noise. "Shh! I think I hear something."

"What is it," asked Fartharp, slightly panicked. "We can't let the others catch us picking flowers. They'll feed us to the wargs in an instant."

"Shh," hissed Gutdrag as he looked around for the source of the noise. "I don't see anything…"

Looking at the ground, Fartharp saw a strange shadow cast on the ground around them, growing larger by the second. "Gutdrag," he said, without tearing his eyes from the shadow. "What do you suppose would make a shadow like that?"

Turning and looking down, Gutdrag looked at the shadow. It was oddly square and growing rapidly. "I don't know…" he trailed off and looked up at the sky.

Both orcs gave terrified screams and began to run in circles. For a moment it looked as through they were going to get away but they crashed into each other. Together they fell to ground and upon seeing the massive screaming metal thing continuing its course straight for them, they threw their arms over their heads and screamed.

SPLAT!

"That's an odd noise for a jeep to make when it hits the ground," mused Charlie. "I was expecting more of a crash… oh, well."

Shrugging it off, Charlie turned the key and sped off. She had no idea where in Middle Earth she was but she knew for certain that she wasn't in Modern Earth anymore. Unless she managed to fall through the ground and all the way through the Earth only to come out in someplace like New Zealand. That, however, was unlikely.

After a few hours of driving aimlessly, Charlie came across a city hidden behind a wall with large doors. She pulled the jeep up next to the doors and banged on them.

"Welcome you Bree," came the voice of a cranky old man on the other side. "May I take your order?"

"Yeah," said Charlie. "How much for a cheeseburger?"

"Fifteen gold," called the old man. "Seventeen for extra cheese."

"I don't have that kind of money," called Charlie. "How much are the fries?"

"Ten gold."

"Did you say 'ten?'"

"Yes," shouted the angry old man.

"That's a lot… do you have anything for.." Charlie dug through her pockets. "What can I get for a ball of lint, a paper clip, and a wad of chewed gum?"

"Free advice," he called through the door.

Charlie blinked a few times. "Free advice? Why would I need to give you this stuff if it's free?"

"Do you want it or not," barked the old man.

"Fine," Charlie shouted back.

"My free advice to you is… GET A MOVE ON! You're holding up the line!"

"Okay, okay. Geebus. I'll go if you tell me where the Shire is."

A slot in the door was thrown open and the man stuck his head out. When he caught sight of Charlie's jeep he drew back slightly and eyed it suspiciously.

"What is that," he croaked.

Looking from her jeep to the old man, Charlie said, "This? This is a… new breed of dragon." She revved the engine. "If you don't tell me where the Shire is now, it'll eat you."

Frantically, the man pointed in the direction Charlie had been going. "That way. But you'll have quite the time trying to get over the Brandywine Bridge in that."

With a feral smile, Charlie threw on a pair of sunglasses. "Oh, I'm not worried about that, at all. This baby had four wheel drive."

Then she sped off, leaving the old man in a cloud of dust because the author/narrator (nauthator?) is too tired to think of anything else. Where will Charlie's adventure lead her? If you're seriously asking that, you might want to get your memory checked because it was clearly stated she was going to the Shire.


A/N: Hope that was okay. I wrote it under the influence of teddy grahams which my niece keeps stuffing down my throat for some reason. I wish I could have given the orcs better names but I was at a loss at the moment. R/R, if you'd be so kind.