A/N: This is the third chapter, you lovely folks! :D
I am very, very happy with the response this story has received. And it keeps motivating me to do better and better. Thank you so much!
In case you don't know it already, 'Sakayuki' is a famous Japanese love song by Sakomoto Kyu. And I couldn't help making a short & sweet reference to it as I type this and listen to the song while it rains outside my window. ^_^
Also, Shouma Wataya is an OC character who plays a main role in the earlier chapters of this story. You will read more about him in the next chapter. :D
Feedback: Many thanks to 'guest', yaz, Chihaya-chan, Nagi592, Kiraranger, xX little kagami Xx and Nagi592 again for their lovely reviews. Much love!
Hayate (referring to Nagi): I don't want to lose her, and I don't want to leave her side again.
[Hayate speaks]
It has been three days since the Mistress fired me; or as she said, 'honorably discharged' me from my job as a Sanzenin butler. I have been given a new apartment in one of the elite districts of Tokyo. It is well furnished and much, much better than my old apartment. But, it is so far away from the mansion. In three days, I have visited the mansion more than nine times to meet Miss Nagi and clear the misunderstanding if there's any. But, she refuses to see me. The guards have been told to not let me enter the Sanzenin estate or even see her somewhere outside. I haven't been able to figure out yet why she doesn't want to see me anymore. I don't remember doing something so despicable.
So, here I am, at my new apartment – without a job and without my Mistress. It is peculiar though that as soon as it became public that I was no longer Miss Nagi's butler, hordes of people crowded outside the mansion to apply for that post. And I have received job offers from Miss Nagi's friends, like Miss Izumi, Miss Sakuya and others. I am not going anywhere though. I am a Sanzenin butler, Miss Nagi's butler. And there's no way I'm letting someone change that.
I venture out of the apartment in the morning. I am headed towards the supermarket where Maria and I used to go shopping for vegetables and groceries. I have been eating nothing but ramen since three days. I received my clearance check of $10,000 in the mail today, might as well buy something and cook a proper meal. As I walk towards my destination, I can't help thinking about the Mistress. She has undergone so many changes through the years. We had our disagreements, our little fights; she also sold me to Miss Izumi once. It was never so serious though. Now that I think about it, I have never been apart from Miss Nagi for so long. It is weird and different. It is something else too. I can't pin point it, but it's something. I… I feel like I am stranded, which is strange because I don't remember the last time I felt this way. Maybe it's because I have grown accustomed to Miss Nagi's presence. Her silly demands, her terrible manga, her confusing statements, her sincere smile, her eyes which are full of love and kindness, but people seldom notice her generous attitude. She might have been a spoilt brat in the past. Even then, she was pure of heart and loving in nature. At a very young age, she promised a lonely white tiger cub that she would take care of him all her life. She still does. She doesn't like to admit it, but she can sympathize with people's pain. Maybe that is what I miss – being by her side and sharing my life with her.
I have to think of a way to get my job back. If not that, I need to know why I am suddenly so unwanted to her. What could it be? I know now that she loves me. Maybe she doesn't love me anymore. Maybe that maniac Shouma finally managed to woo her. I had told her to stay away from him! And she did. Did she? My head hurts with so much thinking. Alright. Let's see. Even if the Mistress is now in love with Shouma, she had no reason to fire me. But, she thinks that I love her too. So, to avoid the supposed heartache I would feel on seeing her with Shouma, she fired me. Yes! That could be it. Seriously though, I had told her that Shouma is a psychopath and she should maintain a healthy distance from him. Why did she not listen to me? Wait. They both have their vacations now. They couldn't possibly meet at the university. Everything was fine before the vacations. Hm… Whoa! Those sleep-overs… what if she used to slip away to meet Shouma after I dropped her at the designated place? And maybe that rascal took away her virginity and now she has no option but to be his girlfriend! Th-this can't be happening. I am going to kill that prick when I see him. How dare he do this to my innocent Mistress?!
On-lookers gape at me as I break a concrete post with a punch out of frustration. I continue walking towards the supermarket.
"A pork chop, please", I say to the butcher. I have calmed down significantly to notice that this place is not crowded as usual today. I look around in the hopes of seeing Maria. Maybe she can tell me what's going on. She was behaving strangely too that morning. She is usually near the vegetable stands. "Here", the butcher disturbs my thoughts and hands me the parcel. I pay him and walk to the spices' section. I should buy some hot sauce to go with this. And some cinnamon sticks for aroma. Someone bumps into me from behind and I hear her say, "Sorry". She walks up to stand next to me and I see that it's Maria. Thank goodness. She seems surprised,
"Hayate?"
"Maria. Hi"
"I didn't expect to see you here"
"Yes. I just… I just came to shop for some lunch ingredients"
"Me too"
We move from one section to another, accompanied by an awkward silence. I must ask her. I walk with her as she is purchasing fruits. She says,
"How is your new apartment?"
I pause before saying,
"It's great. I also received a clearance check today"
"Yes. Every Sanzenin employee gets one after he retires or is transferred"
"But, I have not retired or transferred. I have been fired"
She mutters,
"That's partially not true, right?"
She quickens her steps as she walks to another section. I catch up with her,
"Maria, can I talk to you for a minute?"
She looks at me sympathetically before smiling,
"Why not?"
We are sitting on a bench aside the street. Our shopping bags are between us. I break the silence,
"How is Miss Nagi?"
"She is fine"
You can easily see it when Maria is lying. She avoids eye contact and speaks at a higher volume. I say,
"How is she 'really', Maria?"
"She… is different"
"Different?"
"She had a meeting with some lawyers yesterday"
"What for?"
"In case of her death, everything she owns should be equally distributed to all the charities in Japan. But, anonymously"
"Really?"
"Yes. She has also changed her decision regarding the Art School. She is going to join a Business School in Washington now"
"What?! But why?!"
"I told you, she is different now"
"Why would she do all this?"
"I wish, I knew. Maybe then I could stop her"
"Is she… is she seeing someone?"
"Hm?"
"Is she dating that Shouma, who studied with her at the university?"
"Oh. Mr. Wataya, you mean. I wouldn't call it dating, but he invited her to a fancy ball. She will be attending it this evening"
"I knew it!"
"What?"
"Nothing. Say, do you know why she fired me?"
She sighs,
"Do you remember our conversation that night? Nagi heard a part of it, the part where you say you don't love her"
"Oh", it strikes me, "That's why she is mad at me"
"No, Hayate. She is mad at herself"
"Well…"
"You should try to move on. She is trying too. It will be the best for both of you"
"But, I don't want to, Maria. Being her butler is the best thing I can do. Why do I have to let go off that?"
"You were her butler. Now, you are just an ex-employee"
"Y-yes. You are right"
It's true. And she is in love with that Shouma now. That's why she can't stand me being around. But, it's not fair. I mean… I don't know what I mean. I am just too baffled to say something clever. There is something I have always wanted to ask Maria though. This might be the right opportunity to ask her that. I look ahead,
"Maria, don't take this the wrong way, but, did you ever 'like' me? In 'that' sort of way?"
She is surprised but she smiles,
"No. What put that thought in your head?"
"I don't know. Too many ladies I know have a secret crush on me. I thought, maybe you did too"
She giggles,
"Don't flatter yourself, Hayate-kun. Besides-", she winks, "You are not my type. I like intellectual men, not thick-headed boys"
We smile at each other in good humor. It's true that I am thick-headed. The same thick-headedness cost me my job and Miss Nagi's company. If I were not like this, there wouldn't have been so much misunderstanding and heartbreak for Miss Nagi. I would change that about myself if I could, just to be there for her.
Maria and I sit there in silence, watching the people flood the streets. I try to sound as normal as I can,
"You should go now. I guess, Miss Nagi has forbidden you and others from talking to me"
Maria gets up,
"No. The only person she has forbidden from talking to you, is herself"
I am stunned. 'The only person she has forbidden from talking to you is herself'. I watch quietly as Maria says goodbye and walks away with her bags. I turn around and walk back to the apartment. The bag in my hand seems as heavy as my footsteps. It begins raining. But, I am unable to move faster. I keep walking desolately. Miss Nagi's beautiful face comes to my mind and her cheerful voice rings in my ears,
'Hayate'
I hear a radio playing 'Sakayuki' as I keep walking. I glance at the mocking radio, but I can't help thinking about the Mistress and our time together; all those memories being my favorite ones. Still, as Sakomoto-san would, I have to keep my head high to not let the tears fall.
'I am sorry, Mistress. So sorry'
