Heretic of Zero
A Final Fantasy: Tactics/Familiar of Zero Crossover
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Chapter 2: Dominoes
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Guiche de Gramont looked deeply into the eyes of the woman he loved (at the moment), the freshly plucked rose in his teeth adding (what he thought was) a touch of panache, a spark of passion for his (would-be) paramour that would ensure that the flame of (lustful) passion would continue to burn between the two of them.
Montmorency blushed at the proximity of her boyfriend, thinking of the possibilities of him being so much more then that. Two short years, that was all that was left of her schooling, if that. And then, Guiche and her could become engaged, and then married, and then she would be his, forever and always. The young woman breathed in his intoxicating scent, and felt her eyes wander around his room.
As luck would have it, that was when Montmorency noticed that the vial of perfume she had gifted to Guiche was missing from it's usual spot on his shelf. Immediately, her eyes narrowed with suspicion. There were... rumors about Guiche and his flirting with the underclasswomen. Normally, the girl would ignore them, but if she found proof that he had been playing her along...
Then she would castrate him herself, marriage prospects be damned.
"Oh Guiche," Montmorency said, sweet venom dribbling from her lips as she did so. "Whatever happened to my special gift to you?" There was quite possibly demon horns growing from her perfect mane of curly blonde hair as she spoke.
Guiche, oblivious to the shift in power in the room (and indeed anything other then his own impressiveness), gracefully removed the flower from his mouth. With the practice of a compulsive liar, words floated softly from his mouth. "Oh, I have no idea my darling. I must have lost it whilst I was lost in contemplation of your beautiful face in the Vestry Court, or perhaps whilst composing epics in your name in the gardens." In actuality, he had no idea what the special gift was she was taking about, or what he had done with it. He just knew that pretty words could get him out of most situations.
Like now. Montmorency bought the line and embraced Guiche, giving him a chaste kiss upon the cheek, and then a much less chaste kiss elsewhere. There were tongues involved. It was exactly as wonderful to Guiche as his brother had described.
They would be late.
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The breakfast crowd was rife with rumors about the familiar of the Valliere girl. Some were saying that she had payed some commoner to pose as her familiar, only to get blown up by the girl's incompetence. Others were saying she had summoned some rogue knight who was plotting to slaughter the students in their sleep.
One student in particular was conspiring with her somewhat quiet co-conspirator on how to twist the rumors into sexual innuendo. "It's for her own good, you know? She's so prudish, that if people thought she had loosened up, she might even make some friends. It's a foolproof plan I tell you!" The red haired girl exclaimed, somewhat louder then necessary. Her companion simply shook her head.
"Don't tell me you didn't find him handsome, in a martyr kind of way. The dramatic barbarian hero, fighting through countless enemies, before sweeping the princess off her feet and having fantastic sex with her. Am I right?" Never say that Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt Zerbst was anything other then direct in her fantasies. She'd probably hunt you down.
Her companion, nose buried in a book that she had read countless time before, blushed slightly at her companions words. Truth be told, she had noticed. Still, she said nothing.
Just then, a familiar pinkette entered the room, late as usual. Louise was infamous, other then for her failure rate at magic, for her heavy sleeping. She quickly grabbed a seat at an empty table, away from the rest of the students, before grabbing food.
Kirche couldn't let that one slide. With a mischievous grin, the redhead grabbed her own tray and moved over to where her family's rival was sitting. "Why, hello, Louise! How are you on this wonderful day?" She punctuated her ribbing with... ribbing, poking the girl in her side with the tip of her finger.
Louise reacted as expected. "Get away from me, you cow!" She almost spilled her food with her flailing. To Kirche, it was so cute! However, she could reflect on that later. Now, information on the studmuffin.
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As Ramza walked slowly toward the main hall, unaware of the conversation centered on him mere minutes away. He'd managed to convince the lady running the infirmiry he was no longer injured, merely hungry. The lady had nodded cheerfully, and written him a dispensation. She had said "You need meat, boy! Wounds like that can kill a man even after the wound is gone if he hasn't had meat to replenish his liveliness." The old, very round woman's red face smelled of medical tonics as she spoke.
He wasn't quite sure if her words were correct, or if he should be listening to someone who had obviously been sampling their own wares,but wasn't about to argue with the lady. So when he entered the dining hall, he dutifully went over to the kitchen staffer on duty and handed him the note.
The young man looked down at the note for a second, squinting to read the healer's horrible writing, before snorting. "'Give this boy meat and nothing else, or face me. Heart Madam Bathory.' Well she certainly knows how to put it." He sighed. "I'll see what I can do."
Soon, a plate appeared, bearing very red meat. Ramza suspected that it was meant for the more carnivorous familiars, but beggers couldn't be choosers, and he'd eaten far worse during his time as a mercenary. Many things could be said of Gaffgarion, but picky eater was not one of them.
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There are times when fate seems to intervene in the lives of men. Where events seem to line up so perfectly, that one can believe that not only is there a higher power, but that He is fond of his practical jokes. Take this scenario for example.
Ramza Beoulve, a martial pacifist who clings to his honor and his ideals like a man on a sinking ship clings to a barrel, stands alone at one end of the equation. On the other stands Guiche de Gramont, self recognised play boy and all around narcissist. Between them: two tsundere mages with low self-esteem, one extremely liberal germanian, and an unlucky maid with dreams of riches.
Watch the dominoes fall.
The catalyst of this explosion was, as always, the Zero. As the Gramont boy and his (current) liason snuck into the dining hall, the Zero noticed her familiar slowly eating from a standing position in the corner of the hall. She rushed over to greet him, only to be tripped by her Germanian rival, who wished to have the first word.
"Why hello handsome ~3. I'll pay you twice as much as she is if you'll be my fa-" CLANG
Louise, never one to waste an advantage, used one of the small metal stools as a crude club, inventing a new sport amongst the peasents watching at the same time as smashing her rival in the face.
Things quickly devolve from there.
As it turned out, only one of the present staff had the guts to step into the fight between the two nobles. Siesta, showing more bravery then sense, stepped between the two quibbling (if the fight could be called that) mages. "Please stop fighting!" she calls out.
The response was unanimous. In quite possibly their first act as a unit ever, both Louise and Kirche lashed out at the peasent who dared interfere with this contest between women. The sound of glass shattering filled the air, as did the scent of perfume.
And this is when Montmorency got involved. She knew that scent, knew it very well. She turned to Guiche, the man who she had wasted her first kiss on. "You... you bastard..." Tears begin to filled her eyes as she looked from the dazed maid to her ex-future-lover. "I... trusted you..."
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
The slap hurt Guiche, but not as much as the look in Montmorency's eyes as she put together (or atleast thought she did) exactly what must have happened. "Wait... Mon Mon... It's not what it looks like."
She slaps him once more, before running out crying. She's not the only one. Two other girls leave the dining hall in tears, shooting daggered looks at Guiche through the tears in their eyes.
By this time, Ramza had pulled apart his master and his would-be seducer. Calming words are uttered, and the eternal squire believed that he had salvaged the situation. Afterall, if the fights over, then nothing else can happen, right?
Guiche disagreed. "You... this is your fault. The both of you! I... I challenge you, Kirche the Ardent and Louise the Zero, to a duel. One after the other, so I may teach the both of you a lesson."
At this point, Ramza realised he was just standing there. His mind told him to back off, but his honor told him to move forward. "Wait! The fight was my fauilt. I was the cause. I will duel you, for both my master and her friend."
Guiche's body seemed to relax at the words. It seemed he would not be fighting the most powerful fire mage of the class after steamrollering the Zero. Instead, he would be fighting some lowly commoner. "I accept." he said with an air of confidence. "Meet me in the Vestry Courtyard when you're ready. I'll be waiting." With that, the fop walked off.
Louise grabbed Ramza's arm. "What are you doing? You don't have a shot against a noble like Guiche. You're just a commoner." The tone of her voice was quite panicked at her familiar's rash bit of heroics.
She wasn't alone in her sentiment. Kirche von Zerbst wrapped her hands around his torso, pressing her... chest into his back. "Indeed, darling. I would hate for you to break something before I've had a chance to play nurse!" Kirche happily ignored the dirty look she was getting from Louise as she gripped tighter and tighter.
With a mighty tug, Ramza pulled himself free of both heaven and his master. His eyes narrowed as he turned. "Have you seen me fight?" he asked.
The two nobles shook their heads. Then they thought back to the grievous injuries
"Then hold your tongues on what I can or cannot do until after you have." Ramza said, a bit harsher then he meant to. With those words, he moved over to the still prone Siesta. There was a nasty bruise on her head where Kirche had kicked her, and her apron was stained purple from where the glass had broken.
"Can I help you?" Ramza said, offering the girl a hand. The maid nodded, taking the hand and pulling herself back to her feet. "I'm Ramza."
"Siesta."
And with that, the final domino fell.
