Chapter 3…Born Alone, Die Alone

Chapter 3…Born Alone, Die Alone

V's POV

I watch all of the other people around me, being smothered by love and concern from their family and friends. I sit alone in my corner just observing. Seth's ex wife and son show up to show their support for all his hard work. Jeff had a few people show up for him as well, his father, his girlfriend, and his brother; I assumed. I had no one to come and visit me, my parents and my boyfriend is dead; I have no other family and very few friends since Dave had passed.

Jeff and his family looked happy and content until his girlfriend shows up. Their faces become tense and full of anger. Something about her makes me cringe. She's a little too thin, her clothes are a little too big and she has a little too much makeup on. No one seems pleased to see her, not even Jeff. Something about her seems familiar; the circles around her eyes, the pale complexion and the obvious weight loss. I know exactly what all that means. Then the doctor waltzes over to them and takes them away from my line of vision.

I direct my eyes else where. I observe how Seth interacts with his family. His ex wife looks angry and agitated, but his son is too young to realize what is going around him and is just happy to see his dad. The bliss of childhood innocence fascinates me. Thinking back to my own childhood, I don't remember much happiness.

I was a product of the system. My mother died during child birth; apparently I was a terror from the very beginning. My father was a drunk and left me with my neighbor one day and never returned. I bounced from foster home to foster home for a few years. I finally ended up with some family who just wouldn't get rid of me no matter how much I tried. They were government leeches who would foster as many kids as they could at a time just for the money. I moved out on my own when I was 18 and never looked back.

A few years ago I got a notice from some hospital in New York telling me my dad was there and had died from an overdose. I didn't care, didn't even know the man. I did however take the time to collect his personal belongings. Odd enough, the man carried a photo of my mom and a photo of me as a baby in his wallet. Whatever the reason for his leaving, the thought that maybe he cared made me hate him a little less.

Shifty's POV

Being able to see Halo and Cynthia felt good. Halo was such a happy boy, always giggling and running around. No matter what happened during my day I know seeing him or talking to him would always be able to brighten my mood. Cynthia however was determined to change that if I didn't get my act together soon. This was about the 5th time that I had been in rehab. Back and forth, in and out, sober and high. I had a real reason to stay straight this time; my son was on the line.

"When you comin' home daddy?" My son asked which broke my heart. Obviously he didn't understand the why I was here, just that I wasn't around for him yet again. That wasn't anything new for him, but this time it was out of my control.

"I'm gonna be home soon ok buddy." I said picking him up and putting him on my lap. Taking my chance to give him a tight hug I let him back down to play.

"You gonna be able to handle it this time?" Cynthia asked with complete doubt, not that I blamed her.

"I'm trying real hard." I replied trying to hold my temper. As much as I hated her right now, part of me knew that she was right. I knew that if I couldn't get my act together then I deserved to lose my son, he deserved a better father than I was lately. I wasn't going to let him down anymore, I love my son and I am not going to lose him over this.

The conversation between me and my ex stopped and silence took over. Neither one of us wanted to get into an argument in front of Halo, especially not here.

Watching how content and happy he was I felt bad for all the time I missed in his life. I missed his first words, his first steps, his first birthday; I missed some of the most important things in his childhood because I was too busy getting high. My heart began to burst with regret. I am determined to get sober; I can beat this for my son.

The remainder of our visit seems to fly by. I could never get as much time as I'd like to visit with my son. I will never get enough time in the world to make up for all of the valuable time I lost with him. The time I wasted trying to get famous, getting high and wanting to look good.

Looking around the room I'm not the only one that seems to feel this way. When it comes time to say goodbye there are a lot of tears and hugs. I'm not the only person here that misses their family. I'm not much different from any of the other patients here; come to think of it none of us are all that different. The only difference I hope to get by the end of this is that I will never return here again. I want my life back.

Author's Note: Hope you all enjoy! Thanks for reading… Leave me a review, let me know how I'm doing. Thanks! xoxo Melissa