Starling (in his Edgar outfit) and Marcia were at school, walking to their homeroom. "I like red, I like hoodies. So I bought a dozen of them," she said.
"Hey, it's that magic girl!" a random kid shouted.
Every waved to say hello. Starling waved back. "Hi, new friends! Hi! Everyone's so cool here, Marcia. It makes me wish my parents had tossed me out of the castle years ago."
"Oh, you haven't even met the coolest guys," Marcia pointed to two girls. One was a skinny Hispanic and the other was a fat ginger. "Alicia and Fergie."
"Quick here he comes," Alicia exclaimed.
Fergie lifts up her shirt partway to reveal a face drawn on her stomach. A boy walking by was repulsed when he saw this. Fergie moves her stomach to make it look like it's talking. "Hey, hey. Are those books? Where are you going with those books? Do you like to read—" The boy, grossed out, ran away.
"Oh, dear," Alicia groaned.
"They're usually cooler," Marcia lamented.
Starling watched everything with pity. "I gotta fix Fergie up."
Suddenly, they both heard the sound of a skateboard rolling by. Riding on the skateboard was a pretty teenager with blonde hair with a green streak. He was wearing tan pants, white shoes, a green and white shirt and a seashell necklace. Marcia was practically drooling at the sight of him. "Jack Lynn Thomas!"
"Hey, Starling Dragonfly," Jack called out as he rolled by.
"Hi, Jackie!" Then he gasped. "I need to fix you up!"
Marcia gasped. "What?!"
"Oh, come on. I'm almost as good at matchmaking as I am with magic." Starling accidentally blasted her face with magic, leaving her with a burnt face and frizzy hair with a bald spot. She was not convinced at all. "I'm good," she said.
(!)
In homeroom, everyone was at their desks, focusing on their tests. Except for Starling, who was busy doodling on the desk. "Look-look-look-look-look! It's my name! It's my name! With a star inside a butterfly and two hearts. And a spider."
Mr. Skullnick, monstrously annoyed, slammed a test paper onto Star's desk before passing out the rest of the papers. "As you can see, class, most of you have done a pathetic job.
"Not me," said Starling cheerfully. "I got an 'F' for 'fantastic'!"
"That's an 'F' for 'fail'." pointed out Marcia.
Starling looked at the paper. "Huh?"
"What? You don't have tests on Mewni?"
"Uh... So what grade did you get?"
Marcia showed him his paper. "Only the best grade you can get: A-plus with a smiley face."
Starling eyed it with fascination. "Ooh... I want the best one too!"
"No, Starling! Don't!"
Too late. Starling was already walking to the teacher's desk. "Oh, Mister Skullnick!" The mean teacher turned to face Starling and crushed the chalk he was holding in his own hand. "Hey, Skullzy! Can you please do me a teeny favor and turn my 'F' into an 'A'?"
"You're whining about a lousy grade? I finally got a dame with a boat, and she left me at the dock!"
Starling raised an eyebrow. "The dock?"
"The dock isn't the important part!"
Starling chewed on his scepter, thinking.
"I guess I'm doomed to dry land," Mister Skullnick said sadly.
"I got it!" exclaimed Starling. "I'll cast a spell to get you the perfect guy, and you can give me the perfect grade."
"What?!"
"Chick Magnet..."
"WAIT!"
"...Love Storm!"
With a wave of the scepter, Starling turned the teacher into...an ugly green troll with a red gem in his belly button. Everyone gasped in horror at the ugly sight. "Starling, what did you do?!" exclaimed Marcia.
"Uh," Starling said, unsure. "I think I turned him into a troll."
At first the students were disgusted, then they cheered, "Starling Dragonfly rules!"
Mister Skullnick looked at himself in a mirror and screamed. "I'M HIDEOUS!"
"Quick, change her back," Marcia shouted.
"Oh, okay, yeah, right," he said nervously. "Okay, yeah... Lightning Change Back!"
The three of them vanished, then reappeared in Star's room. "Huh. Where are we?" asked Starling.
"You just zapped us back to the house," Marcia shrieked.
"Ohhhh... I wish I knew how I did that. It could really come in handy if I don't feel like using my legs."
Skullnick just screamed.
(!)
Outside, Buff Frog saw everything. He returned to Luda's castle with the news. "Luda, mistress. Starling Dragonfly has come home from school early today and he seems... distracted."
Luda, who was licking an ice cream cone, stopped and smiled. "Distracted? Excellent! This is the moment I've been waiting for. No one's at their best when they're... distracted!" She laughed manically. "Finally...I'll get my hands on that glorious scepter!" She tossed the ice cream cone away where it landed on a minion's face. "When it transforms, it'll match my hat! And I'll get my big, sexy girl body! Kick down the tower. Zip, zap, zip-zip, zip, zap! And... I'm a lifeguard!" She jumped onto a harpy minion and started pressing her hands into her chest. "One, two, three..."
"Uh," the harpy said confused. "Is that CPR?"
"Silence! ...Yes. Unfortunately, I was too late."
"Uh..."
(!)
Back in Starling's room, Starling and Marcia had tied the transformed teacher to a chair, who was still sobbing loudly.
"Please don't cry, Mister Skullnick," Starling cooed.
"Starling, we can't keep stalling," Marcia said as she mopped the flood of tears. "You're gonna have to call your dad. She'll know how to reverse the spell.
"No! I can't ask for help! If my parents find out about this, they're gonna send me to..." He gulped. "St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princes and Princesses! It's a terrible, horrible place, and no one who goes there ever comes out the same!" He screamed. A long scream.
Marcia asked, "Is it all out yet?"
"Almost." He screamed again. "Okay, I'm done."
"Look, Starling, you just need to get the information without letting her know what's going on. You know, dance around the truth."
"I'm a great dancer." Starling danced around the room and pulled down a curtain revealing a large mirror. "Mirror, mirror on the wall... Call Dad."
"Calling Tam," the mirror said.
The prince was horrified. "W-w-w-w-w-w-w-"
The image of a pale-skinned, red-haired, three-eyed demoness appeared in the mirror. "Starling!"
"No. No."
"W-Wait! You're here, I'm here—"
"I said "call Dad", not Tam."
"No! Starling! DON'T HANG UP!" she shrieked.
Starling, unafraid whatsoever, hung up. "I gotta delete her off my mirror." King Moon's image then appeared in the mirror. "Oh, Starling, laddie, what a pleasant surprise!"
"So, Dad..." Oh, man, Starling had no idea what to say to him. "Let's just say that someone accidentally turned someone into a troll with the scepter. Not that I would do that, no, because that would be completely irresponsible—" Suddenly, there was a loud crash. Marcia ran off to check it out.
"Starling, what is going on?!" exclaimed King Moon.
Starling hung up. "Gotta go, bye! What happened?!"
Marcia pointed to a hole in the wall. One caused by Skullnick. "She jumped out the window!"
Skullnick tried to run away, only to be tackled by Marcia. Starling caught up with them. "Wow, good job, Marcia."
"'Wow, good job, Marcia'." mocked a familiar voice. It was Luda and her army.
"Luda! What are you doing here?"
"Catching you at your most distracted!"
"What? I have been way more distracted than this."
Luda eyed the troll. "I don't know. You seem... pretty distracted."
"Nah, not really."
"Oh, well... What's that over there?!"
"What? Where?"
"GET HIM!"
Marcia and Star ran away. The monsters chased after them, trampling over Skullnick in the process. Luda climbed up her giraffe minion's neck and jumped onto the back of a flying bat creature. As the monsters approached the two teens, Starling jumped into the air. "|Dagger Crystal Heart Attack! Feel the love!" Crystal hearts impaled some of the minions. Luckily, it didn't kill them, but it sure hurt.
"I'm obligated to warn you," Marcia warned as she put a white bandana on around her head. "I'm a green belt...with a stripe."
The monsters faked being scared and laughed. Marcia picked up a rake and spun it around before smacking the Bearicorn and sweeping the Three-eyed Potato Baby's legs and struck his face with the rake end. Big Chicken attacked Marco from behind and pecks at him continuously. "Ow! Hey, ow! Stop it!" Marcia kicks Big Chicken in the beak and knocks him over.
Another minion appeared behind Marcia and cracked his knuckles. Buff Frog threw a punch at Starling. She dodged and bit Buff Frog's arm, making her yell in pain. The crocodile minion snapped its jaws at Starling, misses, and smacked her away with its tail. As Starling flew backward, he spun around and struck a three-eyed minion with his scepter, making a large bump on his head. Then he saw a minotaur giving Marcia a beat down. "Rainbow blast!" A rainbow punched the minotaur into the air and she landed next to Skullnick. They looked at each other with love in their eyes.
Starling saw this and smiled. "Narwhal blast." He muttered, not even turning to face the minion he just blasted.
"Well, uh, I should probably be getting back. Kids ain't gonna fight themselves, you know." The female minotaur said...well, she would if anyone could make out what she was saying. "Maybe I'll see you around sometime."
Starling nodded. He knew what to do. "Hey, Marcia, you can handle this for a minute on your own, right?"
"Oh, yeah, sure."
"Cool, thanks!" And he took off running after Skullnick.
"Wait..." Marcia realized Starling just left her all alone with a gang of monsters who all want to beat her up.
Meanwhile, Starling caught Skullnick trying to hop a fence. "Oh, Mister Skullnick!"
"What?"
"See that monster over there?" He pointed to the minotaur. "She thinks you're cute."
"Really? Ooh! What should I do?"
"Wait right there." He walked over to the minotaur. "Hey there, monster girl. See that troll over there?"
The minotaur nodded and babbled happily and walked over to him. The other monsters chased after Marcia. "Starling! Help me!"
"Get her," Luda shouted. "Get her!"
"Hey, guys! I think you forgot something."
The monsters skidded to a halt and watched Star's scepter turn yellow. "GET THE SCEPTER!" shouted Luda.
"Thermonuclear Butterfly Blast!"
Ludo whimpered, "Not again."
There was a tremendous explosion and a flash of light. When the flash dimmed out, Starling found himself surrounded by an unconscious army of monsters. Luda tried desperately to wake them up. Marcia just stared in shock, covered in ashes and butterflies.
"Get up," ordered Luda.
Starling loomed over her. "Told you I wasn't distract— Wait, did I just kill that guy?"
"No, he's not dead. He's probably just bleeding internally and being a total baby about it! Stupid wuss. Get up, you dipsticks!" Groaning, the army left through the portal Luda created. All except for the minotaur, who was currently snogging Skullnick, much to Marcia's disgust.
"So... now that I hooked you up, how about that 'A'?" asked Starling.
"Honey, please! I'd give you an A-plus if I was still a teacher. I'm setting sail with Madame Big Boobs here."
"What about my 'A'?!"
"Try studying."
Starling frowned. "Wah-wah," trumpeted Marcia.
(!)
Back at school the next day, Starling explained why the sudden lack of teacher in the homeroom. "So anyway, long story short, Skullnick ran off with this weird woman-bull girl thing to another dimension, and now he is gone forever."
Everyone cheered. Even Jack Lynn Thomas was impressed as he said, "Wow, Star, that is so rad, boyo!"
"Thanks. But actually..." He pulled Marcia in. "It's Marco who deserves all the credit."
"Really? That's awesome!"
Marcia blushed and shied away. All the students cheered for Starling and Marcia. All of a sudden, a portal opened up and Skullnick came flying out. It closed just as suddenly.
"Mister Skullnick?" Marcia asked, noticing the heartbreak on his face.
"She dumped me! I think. I don't know. I couldn't understand a word she was saying!"
"Welcome back, Skullzers," Starling said, trying to stay positive, but Skullnick wasn't having any of it. "Get ready for the worst pop quiz of your lives!"
All the students glared at Marcia. Since she took all the credit, they assumed it was her fault. Jack Lynn Thomas shook his head before walking away. Marcia frowned sadly. "Sorry, Marco," apologized Staring. "I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of Jack."
"Are you kidding?! That's the most he's ever talked to me!"
Starling gasped excitedly. "Then that means I'm even better at matchmaking than I am with magic!"
He accidentally blasted Marcia with a torrent of magic again, burning her badly. Starling dumped a glass of water on her to put out the fires. Marcia didn't even react.
