Chapter Three
"Teal'c, get Carter and get down here. Level 31, storeroom 3126. ASAP. Bring the doc."
Jack let his hand fall away from his radio and stepped forward slowly. His first instinct was to yell at Daniel to drop the knife or to simply run up, grab and shake him. But he knew that instinct was wrong. Daniel wasn't on the most stable of emotional ground at that moment, and his own mental state wasn't much better. With the way things had ended between them an hour earlier, Daniel would be as likely to run from him as to listen to him.
Probably more, if he were being completely honest with himself.
The way Daniel was holding that knife – pressed tightly against his arm, perpendicular to his wrist – had him worried. If Daniel so much as flinched, he'd slice through both his skin and at least one very large vein. He had to get that knife out of Daniel's hand, and he had to do it without startling him.
"Daniel?" He moved as close as he dared, and he did his best to keep his voice soft and reassuring.
If Daniel had heard him, he gave no sign. Jack knelt on the floor, brought himself down to Daniel's level and assumed as non-threatening a stance as he possibly could. He put the flashlight down on the floor, freeing his hands and casting a diffuse light across the scene in front of him.
"Danny?"
Daniel turned his head slowly toward him, and Jack decided that he preferred the empty expression Daniel had worn in the locker room to what he saw in his eyes – pain, guilt, fear, shame, and so much self-loathing that it was all he could do just to look at him.
The urge to grab Daniel reasserted itself, but he fought it down again. Talking wasn't really his thing, but even in his current state of mind, he knew that he had to do it. The alternative could have disastrous consequences.
"Put the knife down, Daniel," he said gently.
Daniel looked down at the dagger in his hand, almost as though he was seeing it for the first time, and tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Why?"
"Because you don't want to do this." He could hear the pleading tone in his voice, but he didn't care. "Please."
"I think I ... no, I do. I really do."
"This isn't you, Daniel," Jack said urgently, slowly crawling forward. If he could just get a little closer, he could grab the knife away himself. "It's that drug. It's making you think you want this, but you don't."
"Have to stop her," Daniel replied with a slight shake of his head. "Can't let her."
He swallowed hard. The words Daniel was speaking had no real relevance to what Jack was saying, but if they were in answer to a memory, they made more sense than he wanted to admit.
"How is this going to stop her?" he forced himself to ask. He lifted his hand from the ground slowly, moving it toward the handle of the dagger. He froze in place when Daniel shifted the blade, pressed the tip of it against his skin, and drew a bead of blood that quickly began trickling down over the curve of his bruised right wrist.
"Daniel!"
"She wants me to ... wants me." The matter-of-fact way the words were spoken made Jack's skin crawl, and the sight of Daniel pressing down on the blade and dragging it across his own arm, so slow and deliberate, was almost more than he could handle. "But I can't ... not strong enough."
"Stop!"
The first drops of blood hit the floor, and he was getting desperate to break through. "You would never do this, Daniel," Jack insisted. He could hear his voice rising in pitch, could hear the words speeding up, almost to match the pounding of his heart and the rapid pace of his breaths. "I know you."
"You ... hate me."
"No," he insisted as he moved forward again. Just another few inches ... "I was wrong, what I said to you was wrong. I was pissed off, and I took it out in you, but it's not your fault. I don't hate you. Please, you've gotta stop."
"You should hate me," Daniel whispered. "I do."
He ignored the words, and the lack of emotion in the voice that spoke them, and focused instead on finding an opportunity to get that blade the hell away from Daniel's wrist. When Daniel closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall, Jack shot his hand out. He grabbed Daniel's right wrist, pulled it up and away, and was just about to make a grab for the handle when Daniel's fingers suddenly opened. The dagger clattered to the floor. Jack smacked it away with the back of his hand, sending it sliding across the floor and into the darkness, to be found and dealt with later.
"It's all right, Daniel," he said as he wrapped his hand around Daniel's wrist to staunch the flow of blood. "It's gonna be okay now."
"Let go of me," Daniel whispered. "Please."
Jack lifted his hand slightly and looked down at the wound on Daniel's wrist. It was a couple of inches long at most, and to his untrained eye, it looked deep. But it was bleeding sluggishly, not gushing or pouring. That gave him hope that Daniel hadn't done any major damage to himself, but he was reluctant to stop the pressure on it.
"Let go!"
The panic in Daniel's voice might have been enough to convince Jack to do as he was asked, even if Daniel hadn't shoved him so hard with his left hand as he said it that Jack fallen back and landed on his ass on the floor. As he pushed himself back up, the overhead lights in the room flickered to life, and for the first time since he'd entered the storeroom, he could see just how distraught and battered Daniel really looked.
There were bruises coming out on his face, along his right cheekbone and jaw, and Jack could have kicked himself for not noticing them before. As guilty as he felt about the explosion in the locker room, he also knew that if it hadn't happened, they'd have lost Daniel forever. He'd have continued to play it off like he wasn't hurt, like nothing was wrong, like he was just fine, and he'd have made it out of the mountain. And if he'd gotten away from them …
"It's okay, Daniel," he said gently. "You're confused, and you're hurting, and you're feeling what you're feeling, and you don't know why ... but it's okay. It's all that damned drug of hers, that stupid pink mist. Doc'll tell you all about it when she sees you. But you're bleeding, and I really need you to let me help you."
Daniel's head fell forward against his knees and he wrapped his arms tightly around his legs. Jack pretended not to see the red smears left behind everywhere Daniel's wrist brushed against his pants. "No ... it's useless," he declared quietly. "She's going to win."
"No, she isn't," Jack argued. "It's over. She's gone; she can't win."
"Not as gone as you think," Daniel countered softly.
He took a deep breath; he was beginning to doubt that Daniel was even hearing him. "I know this is bad, but I promise you it's going to be okay."
"You don't know anything," Daniel whispered, keeping his arms around his knees and his head down.
Jack heard a slight shuffling of feet behind him and knew without turning around that Carter and Teal'c had arrived; it had to have been one of them that had turned the lights on. He felt Carter kneel down beside him and Teal'c hovering protectively above them. He glanced at them both before turning his attention back to Daniel.
"I know that you're going to get through this." He gestured at Carter and Teal'c without looking at them. "We're going to get you through this."
Daniel shook his head slowly, rolling his head back and forth on his knees. "You don't know," he whispered. "You can't know." He took a deep breath. "You don't know what I ... saw or what I ... did ..." Daniel's shoulders started shaking, and he lifted his head quickly. He pressed the heels of his hands against his closed eyes as if by doing so he could push the memories away again. The trembling had moved into his arms and legs, and when he spoke again, his voice was shaking just as badly. "What she did ... what I let her do ..."
"No, Daniel," Sam put in quickly but gently. "You didn't let her do anything. You fought her. You tried to stop her."
"Can't stop her," Daniel answered. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he pressed harder against his eyes. "Can't save Jack. Can't save the others. Can't save me."
Sam and Jack looked at each other in despair as Teal'c's voice floated softly from behind them.
"What others, Daniel Jackson?"
"Them," Daniel answered simply. "They're still here. They're going to take me back."
"Nobody's taking you anywhere, Daniel," Jack said.
"They will."
"Who are they?" Sam asked.
"The Jaffa."
Jack shook his head vigorously, pushed himself straight up on his knees only inches from Daniel, and pulled his shirt up. "There are no more Jaffa. Look. Look at me." When Daniel didn't move, Jack reached out, grabbed his arms, and pulled his hands away from his face. "Daniel, look at me," he repeated. He released his hold as quickly as he'd taken it, not wanting to give Daniel another reason to shove him away, and pulled his shirt up again. "This is me. Just me. The Jaffa are gone."
Daniel leaned his head back against the wall, finally looking at Jack through half-open red-rimmed eyes, and shook his head slowly. "Not the only one," he whispered.
His eyes widened with a question that his voice couldn't find the words to ask. Sam crawled close to Daniel beside him, and Teal'c followed her closely.
"Not the only one?" Sam repeated. "What do you mean?"
A small, defeated smile played at the corners of Daniel's lips, but his eyes never left Jack's face. "Not the only one," he repeated. "Just the first."
Intense pain, and fear, staggering back into the wall ... Hathor's voice echoing in his ears and his mind, 'Hathor's first new Jaffa' ...
He blinked the memory away. "I'm not the only one?"
Daniel shook his head slowly. "The first of five."
The deep blue and gold of the VIP room, sliding down the wall, falling toward the floor, his eyes darting around the room as he fell ... Daniel sitting on the floor behind the bed, his head down, fingers tangled tightly in his hair, his arms covering his ears ...
He jerked back quickly, pushing away from Daniel with such force that his head snapped back and his shoulders slammed into the wall. Jack heard a gasp, but he was too wrapped up in the images flashing through his mind to pay attention to it.
"Daniel?"
He heard Sam's slightly panicked call from behind him, and he forced himself to push the thoughts aside. Whatever they were – memories, visions, imaginings – he'd have to deal with them later. Because directly in front of him was Daniel, his eyes squeezed shut in pain and white as a sheet, wrapping his arms around his lower left side, pitching forward and curling in on himself.
Jack and Sam both crawled toward him, but Teal'c was faster. He was on his knees at Daniel's side in time to catch him, to wrap his arms around him and keep him from collapsing face-first onto the floor.
Jack reached out a hand to help. As he did, Daniel's shirt, still unbuttoned from Sam loosening it in the locker room, fell slightly more open, revealing more of his chest than any of them had seen before, more bruises and scratches and bite marks ...
Hathor grabbing the front of Daniel's shirt with both hands, breathing more of the pink mist in his face, pulling him forward to kiss him ... Daniel yelling, fighting, pushing her away so forcefully that his shirt ripped ...
Daniel struggled and fought to get away from them. Teal'c was having a hard time holding him still, and Sam was trying to help.
"Let go of me!" Daniel shoved Sam's hands away and tried to push himself backwards across the floor. "Don't touch me!"
Hathor backhanding Daniel, the sound of a fist striking flesh ... Daniel flying across the room, slamming into the dresser and falling to the floor ...
"Stop!" Jack said sharply, shaking his head to clear it once more. "He's hurt. His back ..."
At that moment, Daniel's shirt, pulled loose as his struggles continued, rode up over his left hip, leaving the entire left side of his abdomen, his ribcage, and part of his back exposed. The large, deep bruise that circled Daniel's lower left side was evidence of just how brutal Hathor had been.
Sam and Teal'c pulled away from Daniel and stared at Jack in shock.
Jack closed his eyes as the implications of what he'd just said hit him. It was becoming clear that he knew a lot more about what had happened to Daniel than he should have, and if the short 'previews' he'd already gotten were anything to go by, the memories were only going to get worse. He was going to have to deal with that at some point, and he knew it, but first he was going to have to come up with some sort of explanation for Sam and Teal'c.
He took a deep breath, opened his eyes, shrugged, and said the first thing that came to mind.
"Don't ask me how I knew that."
Janet chose that moment to enter the room. She walked toward them quickly, leaving the orderlies she'd brought with her standing in the corridor with the gurney. Sam and Teal'c stood quickly, moving aside to give Janet the room she needed to assess Daniel's condition.
She seemed to take it all in at once, her eyes scanning him from the head down as she knelt beside him. The pallor of his skin, the bruises on his face, the barely-visible edges of the marks on his chest, the bruised wrists, the bloody two-inch gash in his arm. When she caught sight of the massive discoloration on his lower left side, her lips narrowed and she motioned for the orderlies to enter the room with the gurney.
"Daniel, does your side hurt? Or your back?" she asked. She hadn't touched him yet, and to Jack it looked as though she was actually going out of her way to avoid doing so.
Daniel only nodded his head in response as he watched Janet through eyes narrowed in suspicion. Even as she was leaning forward to inspect the damage more closely, he was pushing himself away, inching toward the wall.
"Anything else?" Janet was pointedly ignoring the fact that her patient was trying to escape, but she knew there was nowhere he could go. "What about your shoulder? Does your shoulder hurt?"
Jack wondered why Janet was more concerned about Daniel's side than about the fact that he'd just tried to kill himself, but he trusted her. If she thought that bruise was more important than his sliced open arm, then obviously it was.
Daniel's only answer was another rapid nod. He was still trying to back away, trying to distance himself from Janet even as she worked out in her mind exactly what was wrong with him.
Sam, Teal'c, and Janet's attention was solely on Daniel, and Daniel was watching Janet too closely to notice anyone else, so Jack was the only one who saw the orderlies moving closer. They pulled the gurney to a stop at Daniel's side and kicked the wheels to engage the brakes, then reached down for Daniel's ankles and shoulders so they could lift him from the floor. Daniel stiffened the second he felt their hands on him.
Hathor crying out in anger, "You dare defy us!" ... Daniel trying to crawl away, pushing himself backwards across the floor … Hathor grabbing Daniel by the hair, pulling him to his feet, pushing him into the wall ... "You belong to us!"
Jack blinked again. Janet was attempting to calm Daniel down as the orderlies placed him on the gurney. She was talking to him calmly, smoothly, even as they held his arms down at his side and reached for the straps.
Hathor wrapping her long fingers around Daniel's throat, digging her nails in cruelly, tossing him across the room like a broken doll … Daniel landing on his back on the bed ... Hathor straddling his hips, grabbing his wrists and pinning his arms down ... Daniel closing his eyes, throwing his head back, screaming ..."No!"
"No!"
"Get away from him!"
Jack jerked himself out of the memory with a sharp gasp and grabbed the orderly nearest to him. He'd pulled the man away from Daniel and thrown him face-first into the wall before he even realized he was moving.
"Leave him alone!"
He spun back to Daniel's side and stretched his arms out across him, holding both the orderlies and Dr. Fraiser at bay. Teal'c and Sam, acting more on instinct than logic, he supposed, had taken up positions beside him. Fraiser was alternating between dressing-down the orderlies and shooting almost panicked glances across at Jack.
And Daniel ... Daniel was still screaming.
"I'm here, Daniel … If she comes back … I'll end this … you won't be alone ..."
Leaving Teal'c, Sam, and Janet to deal with the orderlies, should they decide to get too close too quickly again, Jack turned his full attention back to Daniel.
"Daniel," he said gently, keeping his hands where Daniel could see them and purposely not touching him. "Daniel, look at me."
The screaming stopped immediately after Jack said his name, but it took several seconds after that for Daniel's eyes to focus on him.
"I'm here," Jack said, repeating the words that he'd heard himself speaking in his most recent returned memory. "Do you hear me? You're not alone."
Daniel nodded his head slowly as silent tears tracked down his cheeks. "You promised."
"I did," Jack answered. "And I'm going to keep it." He paused long enough for Daniel to nod his head again, to confirm that he'd heard and understood. "You're hurt. You need to go to the infirmary with Doc Fraiser."
Daniel was scared, that much was painfully obvious to everyone in the room – scared, confused and trapped in memories of a hell that none of them could even begin to understand.
But Jack understood. Jack more than understood; he knew. He knew exactly what Daniel had been through and exactly what he was so scared of. The wide eyes that stared up at him from that gurney were the same ones that had begged him for help in the VIP room.
"I can't do this again … Please, Jack ... I can't …"
"I won't let anyone hurt you," he said softly, and he couldn't stop himself from laying his hand on Daniel's forehead gently. "I promise."
Daniel nodded once more and closed his eyes. Jack watched him for a few seconds before looking up at Janet.
"You can take him now," he said. "He won't fight anymore."
Janet's expression was somewhere between extreme confusion and awe, but Jack ignored it and turned his attention to the two orderlies that followed behind her. "If either one of you touches him or tries to tie him down again, I'll do a hell of a lot more than push you into a wall. Is that clear?"
"Colonel." It was Janet's voice – tight, controlled, and asserting her authority over the situation. "Alien drugs or not, sir, don't threaten my people."
Jack narrowed his eyes when he looked at her again. "Alien drugs have nothing to do with it. Stop letting yours threaten mine."
