Sins of the Father -3

One week later….

Roy tried to sleep but couldn't. Why can't this be a night full of runs? He thought to himself. He needed the distraction from the confusion and worry that had overtaken him since he read the letter from Danielle. Finally, he couldn't take the stress any longer. He got up as quietly as he could and walked into the locker room. He pulled out the letter Cap had given him a few weeks ago. He began reading it again. She was here in Los Angeles. She had told him the date she'd arrive and the hotel she'd be staying at while here. She had said she'd leave it up to him if he wanted to meet her there but she really hoped that he would. He stood and slowly walked toward the dayroom. He'd have to talk to Danielle on that phone so no one would overhear their conversation.

-x-

Danielle, in a foggy haze somewhere between sleeping and wakefulness, reached for the ringing phone.

"Hello" she answered.

"Danielle?...um, this is Roy."

She bolted upright in bed. He had gotten her letter and he was calling her. Yes, it was at three in the morning but just hearing his voice made her heart flutter and her breath get caught in her throat.

"Hi, Roy…..I'm so glad you called me." There was a moment of silence but then they both began to speak and the conversation lasted much longer than Roy had intended. He also didn't realize that his voice was carrying outside the wall of the dayroom. He had no idea that Johnny was awake and was listening to Roy's side of the conversation.

-x-

John felt like a heel. When Roy woke up and left the dorm, Johnny had gotten worried about him. He'd been very quiet in recent weeks. Something was wrong and Johnny wanted to help him but didn't know how. He'd asked Roy to talk to him several times but each time Roy had refused. He'd even refused to have breakfast with him after his last shift. He needed to get through to his partner somehow but the urgency of the situation had really been bumped up when Johnny had received a phone call from a distraught Joanne a couple of nights ago.

When they arrived at the station this morning, Roy wouldn't even look at him. He refused to speak even when Johnny prodded. They'd made it through their runs as professional as ever but everyone was noticing that there was serious tension between the former best friends. Now here was Johnny standing outside the dayroom listening to Roy talk to a person who was obviously the "other" woman and it nauseated him.

Johnny thought back to the call from Joanne. She'd said that Roy was in the shower at the moment and she asked if she could meet Johnny somewhere to talk about Roy. Of course, he'd immediately agreed, and they'd managed to meet at Johnny's apartment the following day. Roy had taken the kids to the park to spend some time with them freeing her up to do some shopping…..or so she'd told Roy.

Joanne had been crying when she arrived and John immediately embraced her in a friendly hug. She lost control of her emotions again and they just stood in his living room; John holding Joanne while she cried. Johnny hated it when women cried but he especially hated it when he loved the woman doing the crying. He did love Joanne just like a sister. When she had finally gotten control of her tears, he invited her to sit down. She began to tell him all her concerns about Roy finishing with the most intimate details of their now nonexistent sex life. Johnny just sat there in stunned silence. He knew something was wrong but had no idea what it could be ….and Roy was not saying.

"Oh Johnny….." cried Joanne. "I think he's seeing someone else."

Johnny didn't know what to say. The old Roy would never even consider straying from his marital vows but he felt like he really didn't even know the current Roy. What could he possibly say?

"Joanne, please don't do this to yourself. We don't know that anything is going on." He knew how hollow that sounded but he had no idea what he could say that would be both honest and helpful.

"Well, I've been thinking about me and the kids visiting with my mother for a few days." Saying it out loud, Joanne realized that there was no way to make this sound like anything other than what it was – a separation.

"Oh Joanne, has it really gotten that bad?"

"Yes, Johnny it has!" she sobbed again. "Will you, um, ….you know….kinda keep a check on him for me?"

"Well, yea…of course. Have you told him?" John figured she had but he felt the need to ask.

"No, not yet. I will when he and the kids get back. I'm not telling the kids anything though. As far as they know, they'll just be going to grandma's for a visit while school's out for the summer."

John could only nod his understanding. How was he going to be there for Roy when his world came crashing down? Then again, maybe it was Joanne's world that was crashing…

Joanne stood up to leave. Johnny walked her to the door. He opened it for her then was surprised when she turned around and embraced him again. He held her for a long moment and felt her tremble beneath his arms. She leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "Johnny, I DO still love him."

"I know, Joanne. He still loves you too. I know he does." He hoped she believed him because if truth be told, he wasn't sure he believed himself.

-x-

Johnny was so lost in the memory of his visit with Joanne that he didn't hear Roy end the conversation with Danielle. Roy didn't move though. He just stood there thinking about the events of a couple of days ago and remembering just how frightened he'd been – both by what he saw and of his own resulting anger.

Roy remembered glancing over at the sleeping kids in the cab of his pick-up. The time at the park had really worn them out. He hoped Johnny was at home. He needed to talk with someone about Danielle and he only trusted John. He and John could stand out beside his vehicle and talk while the kids slept. He turned onto the street that Johnny lived on and headed toward his apartment complex. When he turned in, he was shocked at what he saw. There on the balcony of Johnny's apartment stood Joanne and Johnny – wrapped up in an embrace. Roy couldn't make sense of what he was seeing; his own wife and his best friend? Joanne was supposed to be shopping. That's what she had told him when he left with the kids. He felt the bile rising into the back of his throat. His knuckles were white as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. He wanted to ram his pick-up into the apartment building to make them both fall. He wanted to hurt them and he wanted to hurt them badly. He cut a glance at the sleeping forms lying beside him. How could she do this to their kids? Hell, how could Johnny do this to them? Johnny loved Roy's kids almost as much as Roy did. He turned the wheel sharply making Chris stir a little.

"Easy Chris, just go back to sleep" he told the groggy boy. Chris's eyes never fully opened for which Roy was grateful. He had to get home before he threw up ….and before he did something really stupid...something he'd regret.

Later when Joanne returned, sans packages, he almost smarted off to her. Their daughter's presence was the only thing that kept his mouth in check. He was angrier than he'd ever been at anyone or anything in his life; but he managed to keep his temper under control.

When they were alone in their room later that night Joanne began the conversation.

"Roy," she started, "I think the kids and I will go visit my mother for a few days."

"Fine" he said and turned to walk back out the door. He hesitated with his hand on the knob and Joanne thought for a moment that he might say something. She hoped he'd beg her not to go. She wanted him to turn around and fall on one knee begging her to forgive him and lavishing her with kisses and words of his undying love and devotion for her. But he simply looked down at his hand on the doorknob; pulled it open and walked out the door.

The following morning there were no words spoken as he packed his duffle bag for the station and she packed bags for herself and the kids. He kissed each child on top of the head with tears in his eyes and told them to be good at grandma's. He never kissed Joanne good-bye and he never let her see that he was crying as he walked to his pick-up truck to head to the station.

He'd arrived at the station before most of the others on "A" shift. There was one man he did NOT want to see this morning. He had no idea how he would handle seeing Johnny again. He felt betrayed to his very core by the one man he'd never believed could hurt him like that. He was angry still but he was professional enough not to let that anger spill over onto his job.

Somehow, he'd managed to avoid all conversation with Gage today. Johnny had asked him multiple times what was wrong but he refused to answer him. Come to think of it, Johnny had been riding his case for a long time now asking what was wrong with him. Just how long have you and Joanne been at it Johnny? His thoughts brought the anger back and he decided he needed to go to the latrine and splash some cold water on his face to cool himself down before going back to bed.

He pushed open the dayroom door and nearly bumped into Gage who was just standing there with a stunned expression on his face.

"You miserable piece of ….." Roy growled through gritted teeth as he lunged at Gage pinning the thinner man to the brick wall.

"Roy….hey" Johnny was caught off guard and lost his breath as Roy slammed his back into the wall. Regaining his breath he grabbed Roy's neck in the crook of his left arm as Roy continued thrashing around and throwing punches into his partner's already aching ribs.

"Damn it, Roy…..cut it out man!"

They were now rolling around on the floor of the apparatus bay exchanging blows. Johnny was on top of Roy trying to pin him to the floor when the lights suddenly came on and Johnny felt hands grabbing him and pulling him off his partner. Roy, with his mouth bleeding, was pulled up also but he was still seething at his partner.

"Gage you dirty low down motherfu"

"COOL IT….BOTH OF YOU!" The order came from Captain Stanley. Johnny was still pulling trying to free himself from Marco and Chet's firm grip while Mike was pulling Roy back toward the back of the bay.

"What the hell, Roy?"

"I said shut up, Gage!" Hank Stanley was certainly outdone with his two paramedics. He had no idea what prompted this late night altercation but he was definitely going to get to the bottom of it before it took down the entire "A" shift.

"In my office NOW, Gage" he ordered the younger man. "Marco, you stay with him."

He then turned to Mike who was still semi pushing Roy back to keep him away from Johnny.

"Roy, take a cold shower, Mike you stay with him. Chet, put us some coffee on….." he continued to mumble more to himself than to anyone in particular. He was headed to his office for a confrontation with one half of the best paramedic team he'd ever known….and that team was now in jeopardy.