Disclaimer: Tales of the Abyss and all characters therein do not belong to me. That honor goes to Namco Bandai. This story is for fun only, and I do not profit from it.
Nederim
Chapter 3 / Reflection
"Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: 'What! You too? I thought that no one but myself…'" – C. S. Lewis
Natalia sat calmly at the long table with her aunt and uncle, like she had done so many times before. It wasn't often that she discussed Luke's amnesia with them, the topic greatly upset Auntie Suzanne, but the princess thought that this would be a more optimistic approach. She was sure that both of them had nearly given up hope that their son would ever get his memories back.
"He's been exposed to everything in the manor for seven years now, Natalia," her aunt said. "Surely that would have triggered something."
The princess was trying to convince them to let Luke out of the manor, if even for an hour. As a child he would wander a little, not too far into Baticul, but perhaps being exposed to something that the manor couldn't offer him would help. "I know, Auntie," she replied, softening her tone. "It has helped Cassia. She would not have remembered her name if she did not see a specific type of plant."
"This Cassia, her amnesia doesn't seem to be related to Luke's at all. From what you've told us, she remembered how to speak on her own. How would triggers that work for her work for our son?" her uncle cut in, and Natalia unconsciously tried to straighten her already perfect posture. "Malkuth fonon technology tends to backfire on itself—that is what happened at Hod. I imagine that's what happened here. The outcome simply wasn't the same as Luke's and so triggers for her won't work."
After Natalia spoke to her aunt and uncle about Cassia's situation, Uncle Crimson seemed rather convinced that this was Malkuth's fault. She didn't dispute it; after all, it seemed that Malkuth did indeed have the technology to cause amnesia. As for the collapse of Hod, both she and her uncle thought that whatever weapon they were using to retaliate against Kimlasca's occupation of the island backfired, resulting in its destruction. The Malkuth Empire didn't have the resources of Sheridan and Belkend for their fonon technology, so it wasn't really a surprise that this happened (as awful as it was).
"Please, just consider it, Uncle," Natalia replied. "Perhaps a short visit to the port, or just a trip to the castle. We have not tried to expose Luke to anything outside of Fabre Manor. It may work."
Auntie Suzanne looked over at her husband, a look of concern on her face. She looked so tired, so upset, and Natalia almost regretted bringing this up again. She knew this subject wasn't good for her aunt's health, but Natalia couldn't just let this go when it could help her fiancé. She was willing to try almost anything for him to regain his memory of their promise, his family, anything.
In the end, the decision fell to her uncle, and he wasn't willing to risk Luke getting kidnapped again. It was hard enough to find him in the manor occasionally, it would be close to impossible to find him if he decided he didn't want to be found. Natalia understood his reasoning, but she wouldn't let this conversation end without something good coming out of it.
"Then, perhaps you would consider letting Cassia join in Luke's studies?" she asked, almost pleading at this point. "It would help her, and I believe having someone that Luke could relate to would help him as well."
"You seem very insistent on helping this girl, Natalia," Uncle Crimson observed. And he was right. Natalia wanted to help her however she could. "You don't know if she's a Malkuth spy or not. You would put Luke at risk like this?"
"I don't believe she is a threat, Uncle. I've considered this," she explained, remembering the captain's similar feelings on the matter. "When I am not there, I've had a soldier watch after her. She has made no attempt at communication with anyone. Her fon slots are sealed as well, so she would be unable to cast artes if she was a fonist." Natalia purposefully left out the piece where Cassia was found with two weapons. She should have told them, but that would just lessen the chances of giving Luke someone that understood what he was going through. "Someone like Cassia could be the type of friend he needs to overcome his trauma."
Suzanne spoke up after a moment of silence. "Dear, please consider. I trust Natalia's judgment."
Crimson sighed slightly. "Let me think this over tonight," he conceded. "I'll let you know when you visit in the morning."
The princess smiled brightly and said, "Thank you so much, Uncle, Auntie, for your consideration."
Natalia left shortly after a less stressful conversation with the pair and a short visit to Luke. She smiled smugly to herself. If her Auntie Suzanne was on her side, then her uncle was sure to comply eventually. His weakness was his wife, and his wife's weakness was her son's happiness.
When Natalia paid a visit to Fabre Manor the following morning, her uncle agreed to have Cassia join Luke's lessons. The expected result—it was rare that the princess did not get her way if she had something to say about it.
"Where could he be…?" Natalia murmured to herself, eyebrows drawn together in confusion and worry. Cassia didn't know how to reply to the question, so she refrained from speaking. Instead, she just glanced around the courtyard of Fabre Manor.
It was a large, circular area surrounded by flowers in curved planters. Each set was filled with a myriad of different colors that complemented each other nicely, and filled the open area with a lovely mixed of floral scents. She could see a line of trees in the distance, probably still within the grounds of the manor since she could not see anything that would block her from reaching them from where she stood. Maids dressed in brown and red walked around, typically in pairs and usually carrying a bag or box of something.
Today was the day that Natalia deemed Cass well enough to meet her fiancé, Luke. It had been about three months since she arrived in Baticul, and her memory hardly improved after she moved from the hospital to the castle. There was nothing familiar anywhere, and while her name came to her in a dream, nothing else did aside from colors and wordless voices.
Natalia had talked about this to her before, just a few days ago. She thought that Cass and Luke would be able to help one another retrieve their memories. Cassia didn't know how someone without memories could help someone else regain theirs, but the princess seemed to think it would work. Cass hoped it would. She would like to help Luke since he was so important to Natalia.
The princess picked up her pace suddenly, and Cass hurried to catch up to her. She walked up to a blond man and tapped him on his shoulder, a look of impatience on her face.
The blond turned around, but almost instantly jumped backwards with a gasp as he realized who it was. Something crashed to the ground, and Cass directed her attention to the new mess. There were pieces of gray metal objects all over. Neither Natalia nor the blond made a move to collect any of them, so Cass left them alone.
"Y-Your Majesty! Please don't sneak up on me!"
"Guy! You need to get over this silly fear of yours. Honestly, it is just embarrassing," Natalia said disapprovingly. Cass narrowed her eyes. Being startled didn't seem like a fear of something; hadn't she had a similar reaction to waking up in the white room? Perhaps he, Guy apparently was his name, didn't like being touched.
"You know I can't!" He sounded exasperated, similar to how Doctor Couch spoke to Imri.
Natalia shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "Where's Luke?" she demanded, finished with the subject of his fear. "I must introduce him to Cassia. She will be joining him during his lessons."
Guy's bright blue eyes flitted to Cass's gray ones for a moment before he turned to the princess again. "I'm not sure. He just finished up his swordplay lessons, so I'd think he'd be in his room, getting ready for dinner." He looked back to the other girl with a friendly smile. "I'm Guy, by the way, a servant here. It's a pleasure to meet you."
Remembering his reaction to Natalia, Cass decided to keep her distance. Clasping her hands in front of her, she bowed just slightly. "I am Cass…ia."
"We looked there already," Natalia began. "You have to help me find him, Guy. You know better than anyone where he might be." There was a subtle change in her voice, but Cass couldn't figure out what it was. That was beginning to bother her—being able to detect all these slight shifts but not being able to figure out their causes.
Guy bowed his head. "Of course, Your Majesty. Just let me…" he reached down to pick up the gray pieces that he dropped.
"Now."
He straightened back up at her command. "Right. Come on."
Cass nearly went to pick up the pieces of metal, but wasn't able to grab any of them before Guy and Natalia were walking away. Guy was incredibly polite, but Cass figured it was from life as a servant and being in the presence of royalty. Imri was like that—he spoke colloquially around her, but if Natalia was around his language would become much more formal. He was just a few inches taller than Cassia's tall five foot eight, and the messiness of his hair rivaled her own.
She followed the two around the manor for a few minutes, and Cass and Guy talked a little. He asked her why she needed to sit in on the lessons—they were pretty basic in his opinion—but Natalia informed him that Cass suffered from amnesia at the hands of the Malkuth Empire.
"Really? I'm sorry to hear that," he said, before turning to look at Natalia. "Is it like…" he trailed off.
The princess shook her head. "Thankfully, no," she replied. "I hope that they can assist one another in regaining their memories. Cassia has remembered some things already; I would like to see if certain triggers of hers will work with Luke and vice versa."
"It's worth a try," Guy said, shrugging just slightly, looking over his shoulder to the blonde. "What was it that helped you, if you don't mind me asking?"
"I do not mind…" Cass responded. "It was… cinnamomum. It is… a plant…"
He looked confused. "A plant?" he repeated.
Cass nodded, but Natalia was the one to answer for her. "She said it grew around her home. I have not had time to research it, but the gardener here might know of it. He's quite the botanist."
Guy laughed. "Yeah, Pere's interest in nature extends a lot farther than these flowers. I wouldn't put it past him to know about this plant. You should ask him about it if you get the chance, Cassia." Cass nodded again. Hopefully Guy would be able to introduce her to Pere later.
A few minutes later they stopped at a small gathering of trees, right beside the outer walls of the manor. Someone was up in one of the trees, and he jumped down gracefully at Natalia's behest. She introduced Cass to him. "Luke, this is Cassia," she started, motioning to the other girl. Cass bowed her head politely, like she had done with Guy. "She will be joining you during your lessons."
He didn't look happy or upset, but his expression was vaguely hostile. It didn't change at all after his green eyes gave her a once-over. "Why?"
"She is also suffering from amnesia. It is my duty as princess of Kimlasca to help my people," she explained kindly.
Luke looked over at Cass again, eyes slightly narrowed.
"So you just picked some random chick off the street? You don't know where she's been!"
Cassia's eyebrows came together and she frowned. "Natalia knows… where I have been…" she told Luke. The princess probably knew more about where she had been than Cass did herself. She wouldn't dispute the 'random' comment, even though she was found in a desert, but Luke probably didn't know the entire story.
Luke's frown deepened but his face didn't seem as unfriendly.
"Luke! That is no way to talk to your peer," Natalia reprimanded. "Cassia will be joining you for your lessons." Her voice held finality.
The redhead didn't say anything for a moment, but turned away from the three with a huff. "Whatever. As long as she doesn't try to join my lessons with Master Van," he muttered.
Cass never did join on his 'lessons with Master Van,' as she never went to the manor during them. Van only came by once a week and all other scholarly lessons were cancelled on those days so she had no reason to join in or even watch them. Instead, Cass helped Natalia with anything she needed assistance with, with the princess's permission of course. She didn't do much because Natalia wanted her to be relaxed, hoping a calm, unstressed environment would help her with her memories.
It didn't. Nothing really did. Another month passed and she couldn't recall anything about who she was, where she lived, or anyone she knew. A heavy weight fell on her after a month of close to no progress. Cass began to feel like she was disappointing Natalia. The blonde knew she was there mostly to help Luke regain his memories, but her presence had not helped him at all. Cass told the princess this after Natalia had asked why she looked so upset.
"Of course you are helping Luke!" Natalia had assured her. "He is putting so much more effort into his studies now. I believe it is because of you."
And Luke really had been improving, not that Cass had much to compare with. Science, politics, and geography ended up being things Cassia grasped easily. Whether or not it was from past knowledge, she didn't know. She just knew that looking at a map didn't help her with locating the place she was from—it was as if she had never seen one before. Fonology and earth science came to her easily, the former of which Natalia thought was odd because her fon slots were hardly open, as if Cass had never cast an arte in her life. The latter made sense; Cass loved nature and would always want to spend her time outside. Something about it just… agreed with her at a deeper level.
Writing was difficult for her. She couldn't remember the Fonic alphabet. The characters were weird, and she had trouble remembering the phonetics for each one. Her handwriting was atrocious too—the letters taking on sharp angles instead of being smooth and rounded. As for anything with numbers… Cassia struggled. Even in the science work. She could understand the concepts with ease, but any problems she needed so solve seemed to fly over her head and leave her frowning in thought at her homework.
Surprisingly, math and the like came easily to Luke. She asked him for help once, a few weeks into their lessons, and he helped her with her work. Told her exactly what she was doing wrong and how to fix it (but not without a comment like, 'Jeez, how stupid can you be? This is easy stuff!'). The noble did not do well with fonology or geography, and Cass was glad to help him with the subjects (not that he would admit she was helping him). They helped each other out, and both Guy and Natalia seemed happy about that. Guy was thankful that most of Luke's rude comments went unnoticed by Cass; harsh words didn't seem to affect her too much, if at all, and she took things pretty literally which would cause Luke to drop the barrage of sarcastic remarks he used with others.
When she was waiting for Natalia to stop by the manor after her classes, Cassia would speak with Luke and Guy. She and Guy shared an interest in science, and she was curious about the fon machines he kept talking about. Whenever that came up, though, Luke would always end up changing the subject, saying he wouldn't be able to handle 'that nerd stuff.' Guy would laugh and then oblige, so they didn't talk too much about the topic.
Like he said when they first met, Guy introduced Cassia to Pere, the manor's gardener. He was so smart and kind and his extensive knowledge of plants came in handy when Cass asked him about the one Imri gave her. He said it grew in moderate-high altitudes with a relatively dry climate. Mountain ranges, he had told her. Looking at a map to see where they might grow did not help—aside from central Malkuth, most places had a range of mountains that would probably grow the plant.
After the first six months, shortly after Natalia's seventeenth birthday, the princess offered Cass a position as a maid in the castle. She accepted the position, hoping it would even begin to repay the princess for everything she had done. Cassia was so incredibly grateful for everything Natalia had done for her, and not being able to help with Luke's memory loss made her feel as if she wasn't doing enough to repay her.
Cleaning and helping around the castle was a familiar feeling for Cassia, and at this point she recognized the feeling of déjà vu. Cleaning didn't really help her recall anything about her past. In fact, she had nearly given up on remembering. Her dreams were filled with voices whispering yet not speaking any words and silver and white. There was nothing that stood out during them—she couldn't even distinguish the sex of the voices.
Cassia spent more time at Fabre Manor as a maid. Usually she would deliver messages back and forth between the castle and the manor (usually to Luke, but occasionally she'd speak with the Duke and Duchess Fabre). Her breaks and days off found her outside of the city, finally getting away for the loud sounds and into the cleaner air just outside of Baticul's borders.
It was raining when Cass decided on staying in the company of Guy and Pere on her day off, instead of outside of the city. She met Van Grants that day. He was a few years older than her, intimidating but still rather polite. He was there to instruct Luke in swordfighting. She never saw her friend fight before, never seen anyone fight before as far as she knew, and asked if she could sit to the side and watch. With a warm chuckle, he said it was fine.
Luke was not pleased with the new addition to the audience.
Cassia assured him that she wouldn't ask for any lessons from his teacher, remembering his only request when they first met. He eyed her warily, but eventually decided to ignore her and go through with his lesson. The blonde watched silently, ignored Guy's and Pere's commentary. Watching the two brought about another feeling of déjà vu. Much, much, stronger than any other she had before. Despite that, nothing came to her at the time, completely unlike when she remembered her first name. To say she was disappointed was an understatement.
When she spoke with Natalia later that day she kept that to herself. She didn't want the princess to know that, no matter how she tried, her memories were just out of reach. At nightfall she went back to the room she shared with a younger girl, Amber, and fell into the abyss of sleep.
"Limlal, why are you just sitting there?"
Warmth. Love. Comfort. A plethora of feelings washed over Cassia at the deep voice. He called her a treasure—something she rarely felt like unless she was with him. He made her happy, made her feel loved. Where would she be without him? She didn't know, and she didn't want to live in a world without him as her guide, the light and joy of her life.
"Daddy!" Cassia immediately got up, stumbling a little bit because her leg had fallen asleep. "I was waiting for you. You promised that you would teach me today, remember?"
He chuckled slightly, in that way all fathers do around their children, and a blossom of warmth filled her body again. He was so wonderful, always managing to make time for her despite how busy he was. She knew everything that was put on his shoulders (well, maybe not everything). Everything he had to work with would eventually fall to her. "Of course I remember. Why are you not ready, Cassia? Everything should be prepared before their use is necessary. I've taught you this."
Of course she knew, but a small mistake like this wasn't enough for him to scold her any more than lightly. As sensitive as she was, she would manage with the tone because it meant he would help her set up. Besides, she had gathered everything they needed, the room just needed to be set up.
Cassia bowed slightly to her father and apologized, only half meaning it. It would make him happy if she put to use all those etiquette lessons that had been forced on her. Without another word, she grabbed her weapons, twin blades that matched her father's—the ones that she'd have one day when he decided she was ready for them. It wouldn't be much longer now, she figured. Daddy often praised her for how easily things came to her. She just needed to learn how to fight and steel herself. Today would help with the former and having to talk with her would help with the latter.
The room was set up quickly and the lessons began. He became unshakable, swift, deadly, calculating, everything she aspired to be. Everything she knew she would have to be. He'd tell her the things she was doing wrong, how to correct her form, and his tone was impersonal and cold and it stung a little bit. But then he'd reach out a large hand to help her up when she fell down, and everything was all right again. The unshakable part might take time to master—dealing with people wasn't easy in such a secluded area—but everything else would likely come to her easily. She was her father's daughter after all.
