Me: Welcome everyone to my authors corner. I'm Lumpeyeone and with me today are Xion(takes bow), Uxuki (small wave), and Sora(WOO!).

Uxuki: And he's here why?

Me: I was just bored.

Sora: Oh yeah I'm ready for reviewer questions!

Xion: He doesn't have any.

Sora: Really? You must really suck.

Me: HEY! I had one.

Uxuki: Which you answered in an email.

Xion: Taking away everyone's right to know what it was.

Me: Hey! I don't even think I'm allowed to answer questions in my story and I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Sora: Yeah right, your just a busta.

Me: What?

Sora: I said youz a busta. Watcha gon' do bout it bitch?

Uxuki: The suddenly gansta Sora aside shouldn't someone do the disclaimer?

Me: Right, Xion!

Xion:Got it! Naruto and Kingdom Hearts do NOT belong to Lumpeyeone. The rights to each series belong to Masashi Kishimoto and Square Enix respectively. Please support the official release.

Me: On a related side note Xion now has a body like Aqua. Ya know just shorter, cause she's younger. So you can just like ignore the measurements from the last chappie. But she's only a c-cup.

"Talking"

"thinking"

"Dark/Demon words and ATTACKS"

"Scene changes"

/

Episode 3 BEGIN

"You're joking right." Xion couldn't believe the bombshell that was just dropped on her. How could she? The boy who saved her from nothingness had just told her that he was executed. It shouldn't be possible for him to be here. There was no way he could be a Nobody if he died.

"This is not something I would joke about. As for details, yours is not the first Keyblade I have seen, though the full sequence of events that day is hazy. I do know for certain that a Keyblade was used to remove my heart and destroy it." Uxuki calmly replied.

"A Keyblade destroyed his heart?" Eyes wide and jaw hanging low showing the full shock of what she was hearing. "How could a Keyblade destroy someones heart?"

"Enough of this depressing topic. I suppose you have questions about how you're here and stuff so let's get to that." Uxuki states in a surprisingly bright tone. A grand smile splitting his face. A smile that anyone from Konoha would recognize anywhere but never look past.

"Y-yeah." She manages to stutter out, unable to hide her blush from his smile. "How is he making me feel so weak?"

"Well then, we'll be able to start once you finish eating." A small smirk making its home on his face as he speaks.

It was this sentence that drew Xions eyes to the now empty plate of Uxuki. "When did he...?"

"As I was saying, when your done eating you can put your dishes in the sink behind me and meet me in the map room. I have a feeling things will go smoother with visual aids." He walks out of the kitchen/dining area to a part of the hall different from the rest, lacking in any of those helpful colored lines leading around the tower. Xion couldn't figure out why until she saw Uxuki press a button next to the blank space causing said area to sink into the wall before sliding out of the way and revealing an elevator. She added that piece of info to the ever growing list of things she should have noticed. She's been really off since she woke up. And that's not even mentioning the fact that she still feels hot yet she's also feeling cool at the same time. "Ugh, could this day get any weirder?" This being the last full thought before her day did in fact get weirder via Xion then passing out.

THUMP. Uxuki couldn't help the sweat drop that formed as the girl hit the floor. "I don't know if I should be concerned she keeps doing that or proud that I'm the cause." He scoops the girl up bridal style only to observe her snuggling into his chest as a small smile forms on her face. "Pride now, concern later. At least this way I can make a stop in the library." Thanking whatever deity was listening that remembered to put a couch in the Map Room as he enters the elevator. Pressing the button for the Map Room, Uxuki can't help but feel something big was on the horizon and he was gonna get dragged into it somehow or other. "Oh well, maybe I'll learn who I used to be. Or stop talking to myself, whichever comes first" His body tenses as though expecting something. "Huh. I feel like some old pervert should have interrupted me at some point."

(Konoha: Hot Springs, Elemental Nations)

A spiky, white-haired man was currently 'doing research' at a local hot spring. Of course the kabuki clad mans 'research' was using a telescope to watch female patrons bathing. All so he could sell a perverted book series known as Icha Icha. This man is Jiraiya the Toad Sage and one of the Legendary Sannin, the three strongest ninjas from Konohagakure personally taught by the Sandaime Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi.

"Oh yeah, splash each other more. This is primo stuff." Jiraiya giggled to himself from his vantage point before a strange feeling washes over him. A feeling that he hadn't felt in three years when his last apprentice Naruto was executed after the Sasuke Retrieval Mission.

The retrieval mission itself was merely a means to an end for the civilian council of Konoha. They wanted Naruto dead for a long time so to make sure he was sent a newly instated chunin was chosen to head the mission. A chunin that would surely draft Naruto for the mission that the council hoped he would die on. Konohas' love for the last loyal Uchiha was only beaten by their complete hatred for Naruto. So even though the retrieval team consisting of Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akimichi, Neji Hyuuga, Kiba Inazuka, Kibas' ninja dog partner Akamaru, and Naruto Uzumaki not only survived but completed the mission, the council had a backup plan ready. Taking advantage of Jaraiyas' absence and the current Hokage Tsunades' lack of law knowledge they arrested Naruto for the near failure of the mission as well as the injuries received during the mission. Those injuries being life threatening for two of the retrieval team members. The final two charges filed against Naruto were attacking a fellow leaf ninja (since they believe the Uchiha can never do wrong and was obviously kidnapped even though Sasuke left evidence that he left willingly) which is a crime punishable by death and endangering Konohagakure by unleashing Kyuubis' chakra. That's right Kyuubi no Kitsune the great beast that attacked Konoha on the day of Narutos' birth and was sealed into him by the Yondaime Hokage (not that any civilians actually understood the ninja arts let alone sealing). The civilian population and many of non-clan affiliated ninja only saw Naruto as the Kyuubi in human form and either feared him or made his life a living hell (beating him until the ANBU stepped in, breaking into and trashing his apartment, sabotaging his education, and making sure their children never befriended him). Needless to say, with the majority of the council agreeing and plenty of witnesses throwing Naruto in a bad light including his sensei Kakashi Hatake and ever loyal fan girl Sakura Haruno, Naruto was easily convicted of all charges and sentenced to public execution.

(Uxuki: Did you just give a precursory explanation?

Me: Yes I did. Even if I have no idea what a precursory explanation is.)

Jiraiya had never forgiven himself for failing his student/godson in his time of need. He couldn't even bring himself to 'research' for a whole year after everything was said and done. The only reason he took his old hobby up again was an intervention held by Tsunade. The reason behind that was the fact that apparently Jiraiyas' 'research' was the base for all of his spying skills and the fact that it took a year for anyone to notice the drop in his skills speaks for how good he really is.

(Xion: Seriously?

Me: I refuse to brush off the man being both a super pervert and spy master as a coincidence)

"It can't be. Can it?" He leaps from his perch to the street below. Biting his thumb to draw blood he flips through hand signs before slamming his palm on the ground "SUMMONING JUTSU!" A Cloud of smoke forms where his hand struck the ground. The cloud dispersing to reveal a very large and confused, rust colored toad carrying a scroll and battle fan on its back. "Oh hey Gamamaki. I'm sorry to summon you but I kinda need to test something with the Toad Contract. I wasn't expecting you to be put in charge of it though." The toad silently nods as he unrolls the scroll from his back revealing the list of everyone who had signed the Toad Contract and earned the right to summon. Jiraiya quickly makes more hand signs before channeling chakra into the scroll. The technique soon takes effect as the names of the dead who once owned the contract became grayed out to they had passed on while his own name became blood red showing that he is both alive and allowed to summon. This was what he expected until his eyes fell upon the newest name added to the scroll. The name was a deep black signifying that while the owner wasn't capable of summoning the toads...well "He's alive. Naruto is alive." Jiraiya once again felt as if he failed his latest student since he never checked the scroll once since Naruto had signed the damned thing. "OH SHIT! I have to tell Hime. Gamamaki, can you see what the Toad Elders know about this." The toad nods once more as it replaces the scroll to its back before disappearing in another cloud of smoke. Unfortunately as Jiraiya was preparing to leave a strong killing intent crashed down on him, reminding him of exactly where he just had his not so silent conversation. Turning around he realizes the depth of his mistake. A crowd of no less than forty kunoichi of chunin skill and above cracking their knuckles ready to wail on the pervert. The following beating lasted three hours and sadly enough he'll be back to normal by the end of the day.

(Konoha: Hokage's Office, Elemental Nations)

A busty blonde woman stood staring out the windows of the office, a small sense of pride flowing off her as she turns to look at her newest apprentice. (Yeah I'm not gonna say what they're wearing anymore unless they've changed something.) Tsunade would have paid any price to turn said girl to paste three years ago though after certain things came to light she couldn't help but take the girl in. The girl before had taken to Tsunades medical lessons like an Akimichi clan reunion at an all you can eat buffet. Accomplishing in two and a half years what took her first apprentice Shizune took six to do.

"Sakura Haruno...no" she had to remind herself "Sakura, I take a great sense of pride to see one such as you grow to be such an exceptional young woman and kunoichi. And while I hope to keep seeing you grow, I must end your apprenticeship under me. You have learned everything I have to teach in both the medical and combat arts. So as your Master I am pleased to announce you are now a full-fledged medical ninja. Congratulations Sakura."

"Thank you, Lady Tsunade. I am proud to have met your expectations and honored to have learned under you." Sakura stated in a quiet voice. Something seemed off about the girl and Tsunade had a pretty good guess.

"Ya know Ino just got back from her latest B-rank this morning." The widening of Sakuras' eyes was the only confirmation Tsunade needed. "I gave her some time off so you should be able to find her at her families flower shop." She didn't even get a goodbye as the girl dashed out the door. Tsunade sighed to her self as assistant Shizune entered the office with a small stack of paperwork in her arms. No words needed to be spoken as both were aware of just how important Ino had become to Sakura since the incident. (Me: I have changed Sakura I just want those changes to be a mystery for people to guess about.

Uxuki: Lazy ass.

Me: Man bitch)

"Get your ass in here pervert." Tsunade growled out.

"But Lady Tsunade, Jiraiya is at the hot springs. You can hear his screams from here."

"Not that pervert Shizune. I'm talking about the one standing out in the hall using a pathetic academy level genjutsu."

"Now that's not very nice Lady Hokage." Kakashi Hatake, the silver-haired smug bastard that he is, stated as he walked into the office. "A tone like might make people think you're biased against me. Though I'm sure the council would understand." Three years as the councils poster boy as the ultimate shinobi for finishing 'the demon' off boosted his ego to an all time high, believing that the council will always back him up despite that they've never done so. He was pretty much..no a complete asshole getting on the majority of the shinobi forces nerves, not that they could do anything about it since every complaint they tried to lodge was intercepted by the council and kept from ever being filed. So any chance to knock him off his high horse was a welcome one.

"So is there any reason why you needed to barge in here Hatake? Or did you just want to waste my time?" Tsunade letting the man know she wasn't in the mood for games as she sat at her desk.

"Why have I been removed as Sasuke's sensei?" He showed nothing but a complete lack of respect for his superior officer despite the fact the she could boot him from the program completely.

"It might be the fact you're only trying to get a place in the new Uchiha clan. Or maybe he's afraid you'll steal his eyes like you stole Obito's. Or maybe he thinks you'll take him out like you did his best friend." She wasn't surprised that he didn't react until the last accusation. Kakashi never hid things he thought were obvious.

"THAT DEMON WAS NEVER SASUKE'S FRIEND. He was only stringing it along to keep Konoha safe. It deserved what it got. Kyuubi killed thousands of shinobi that night, including my sensei."

"Naruto wasn't the Kyuubi, he was the container." Tsunade couldn't help but feel these arguments were becoming more and more common between the two of them.

"Naruto was dead the moment that thing was put in him. Even Lady Kushina agrees with me and actually was a real container. A newborn baby never would have had the will to fight off the demon."

"For a man who idolizes his sensei so much you don't have much faith in his seals."

"SENSEI"S SEALS ARE ALWAYS PERFECT."

"Then why would Kyuubi be able to break free if your always perfect sensei personally sealed it away with his best seal. You know what you don't have to answer that. I'll let you think about it on border patrol. Hell, maybe you'll relearn how to respect your superiors. You're dismissed."

Rather than give a response to his Hokage, Kakashi swiftly turned and walked out of the office to prepare for his mission. It didn't stop him from having certain thoughts however. "You'll regret pissing me off Tsunade. Once Danzo is in power I'll make you suffer while I lead the Uchiha clan to greatness as the father Sasuke should have had. We'll see who's superior then, bitch. No one insults sensei and gets away with it."

Episode 3

The shortest chapter yet aka check in at Konoha.

/

Me: Yeah, that came out a lot creepier than I thought it would.

Xion: Why did I pass out earlier?

Me: That will be answered next chapter.

Xion: Why?

Me: because I want to give you your own chapter.

Xion: I love you.

Me: You won't.

Uxuki: Kinda phoned it in on this one didn't you.

Me: Well you try writing when you have zero inspiration. It's very very difficult.

Sora: What the fuck Nigga? [slap] MUTHAFU [slap] THE HELL'S [slap]

Uxuki: Keep doing it. Seriously, you keep being a ghetto white boy and I keep hitting you. So, stop it or I'll slap the black out of you.

Sora: I'm Japanese dammit. At least I think I am.

Me: I'm finding it difficult to care. Although I will apologize for this being such a short chapter. Also, TOONAMI'S BACK BITCHES! Don't know if it's here to stay but I don't fucking care cause it's still awesome.

Xion: This calls for a dance party! I already invited everybody.

Me: Who the hell is everybody?

Xion: Everybody on .

Uxuki: How did you manage that?

Xion: With my mind.

Uxuki: I don't think they're gonna make it.

Sora: Why wasn't I in the chapter.

Me, Uxuki, and Xion: Shut up, Sora.

Sora: Oh.

Uxuki: Hey, wait. Where's the OMAKE?

Me: What are you talking about? It's right...OH MY GOD! SOMEONE STOLE THE OMAKE!