Stock Character 3: The Random Pervert

I don't get it, man. I just don't get it. What's wrong with thinking that a chick is hot, or trying to pick her up, even? That's what normal people do at bars all the time! If I just cared about looks, I'd buy a porn magazine. If I just wanted to get laid, I'd order a hooker. But I don't. If there was some godly-lookin' dude wandering around a mall, I'm sure he'd have a long line of whispering stalkers behind him. But I don't do crazy things like that; I respect women.

She was perfection itself, like she jumped out of a Vodka ad. Her nice spagetti straps tight around her Barbie-doll perfect figure, and those cheap-looking jeans you see in emo rock music videos. It was so weird, she must've been wearing some crazy contact lenses, 'cuz they seemed to change color, like a mood ring or something. And her hair, her long platinum blonde hair brushing her thighs. Yeah, don't mind me if she stuck out like some sore thumb.

Looking at her, I wondered. What was she really like? Did her looks reflect a nice personality? Or would she prove that good looks were the only thing she had going? There was only one way to find out. So I straightened my back, shoved on my shades, sucked in my gut, and mustered the cheesiest pick-up line I could think of.

"What do you want?" She asked playfully.

Being the idiot I was, I followed. We flirted for a bit, then her face instantly became serious, and her contacts turned orange.

"So to you, I'm a sex toy."

My body felt like it fell through thin ice. "Wah? N-no!" I was totally taken aback.She led me on!

"Is there a problem, honey?" A redheaded boy with the most ridiculous ponytail jumped out of nowhere and defensively wrapped his arms around her, snarling at me.

"It's okay, Kurama." I think she meant notto sound convincing.

Half an hour later, I dragged myself home and observed my face in the mirror. Who knew that pansy pony boy could hit that hard? Then again, maybe he was right for her. Grinning at my reflection, I snorted at them both.

"Feh. Losers."

My smirk didn't last long. They brought up a point. I needed to be put in my place. What do I deserve? I'm not glamorous, I'm not talented; So I'm worthless. I furrowed my brow as I examined myself. "Loser."

Who wants a mediocre guy?


(Author's note:) Hi! I'm glad you like my crap! )

But my imagination can only take me so far, and I am especially subject to writer's block. XP So I need the reviewers' help. If you can think of any other cliche' stock character, could you tell me so I can have material to update with? That would be much appreciated!