My Paper heart 3
His and her displeasure

Disclaimer: I do not own ccs

His words stroke a nerve. Her face went pale and she stuttered "Syao…syaoran…Li?"

Ian nodded "Have you heard of him?"

Sakura wanted to hide the sudden feeling of distress and fear. She smiled though her lips were trembling "No, I've never heard of him. Is all this really necessary, I mean I can always get a job."

"No. I don't want you to. All you need to do is stay home and I'll take care of everything."

Sakura sighed inwardly; this man clearly wanted her to be a housewife and nothing else. There was so much she disliked about him. It was the little things that made her want to pull her hair out.

"It's a great opportunity for me. If everything goes well I will be working for Li corp. Li corp is currently one of the biggest companies in East Asia. How lucky are we."

"Yeah, lucky." Sakura's words were dripping with sarcasm.

"He'll be arriving in Japan sometime after mid-night. I need you to prepare the guest room."

"Yes, I'll get right to it after dinner." Sakura said obediently.

She managed to keep a straight face for Ian but when he left to buy groceries, she was in the kitchen washing dishes when a tear suddenly fell from her eye. She stood still staring down at the dishes. It didn't feel real but….she sniffled. How was she supposed to feel? He was the last person on the planet she wanted to see. His name alone brought back painful memories.

"Mama, look…" Asuna said now standing next to her mother.

Sakura did not want Asuna to see her cry but she could not hold back. Asuna was holding a picture which she immediately dropped when she say her mothers tears.

"You're crying again." Asuna's eyes were already filled with tears.

Sakura was ashamed, Asuna was so young but was already aware of her crying habits. She crouched down to Asuna's level. "I'm not crying pumpkin, I just got soap in my eyes."

Asuna started to cry wrapping her hands around her mothers neck.

"Why are you crying?"

Asuna's rubbed her tears against Sakura's neck "I'm crying because you're crying."

She held Asuna, she thought of what Syaoran would say if he knew. If he knew that this little drop of heaven was is daughter. She looked like him, he was sure to recognize her as his daughter just by looking at her.

Sakura held Asuna closer "He's going to hate me…more than he already does." She thought.

………………………….

It was a stormy night, the roads were flooding with water and Ian could barely see past the heavy rain. He took a quick look at the man in the passenger sit. He waited two hours at the airport for this man who barely said anything to him. He had messy chestnut hair and wore a white shirt ,a black skinny tie hanging loosely around his neck with black trousers. He appeared restless and awfully young. He reminded Ian of someone…but he just couldn't remember who.

Ian cleared his throat "So, are you married? Any children?" he asked for the sake of conversation.

"No." Syaoran answered in a bitter tone.

"Have you been to Japan before?"

Syaoran looked outside watching the raindrops on the windowpane "I grew up here."

"Is that so, I must say I'm surprised." Ian's eyebrows rose wrinkling his forehead.

"My mother thought it would be best for me to have a normal childhood."

"Why did you leave?"

Syaoran was quiet. He looked at Ian then at the road "It's about a girl. Being here reminds me of her. She was the most beautiful girl. We were very close. It ended before it began."

Ian could not apprehend the look on Syaoran's face. He appeared to be a sad man with a tragic past. He was tired and worn out. In his eyes was an assortment of fear and hopelessness.

"So why are you back?"

"Well…" he paused drawing his face further away "I'm here on business. My latest client is an old friend from Japan. He is in financial debt. He needs me to be his legal representative in court."

"For free?" Ian asked stunned.

Syaoran nodded "Uh, yeah." There was a short thread of silence before he started in a serious tone "When my friend called me I was thrilled, in a way I needed an excuse to come back here. I want to see her but…I don't know where she is, if she's married, or if she will ever forgive me. I'm guessing she left this town a long time ago. She was destined for great things."

Ian made a left turn "I'm not bragging or anything but I've got the most perfect wife in the world. She's beautiful and unlike most women she doesn't complain."

Syaoran's eyebrows rose "Oh really?" He asked bluntly.

"Absolutely, you should see her. Sometimes I wonder how a guy like me got so lucky."

Syaoran was quiet. Inside he thought, "He must be kidding me. No woman is more beautiful than Sakura."

"If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?" Ian asked taking a quick look at Syaoran once more.

"26."

Ian was amazed. He sensed that Syaoran was immature. He acted like a depressed teenage boy. He carried a haggard look in his disposition.

"And you?" Syaoran expected that Ian was somewhere in his late thirties. He was nothing like him. He seemed serious. He buttoned the buttons of his shirt all the way up to his neck. He looked like he was suffocating.

When Ian said "31." Syaoran's eyebrows shot up.

They reached Ian's house approximately 1 in the morning. Syaoran was impressed. Though it was dark, he could not deny the beauty of Ian's home. It was still raining heavily. They managed to get his entire luggage inside the house that appeared to be empty.

"Make yourself at home. I'll go inform my wife of your arrival." Ian sauntered upstairs.

Syaoran nodded, his face refusing to smile.

Ian opened the door to their bedroom. She appeared to be sleeping. She lay on top of bed cuddling unto the sheets. She was facing the window and her body was in fetal position.

"Our guest is here. I want to introduce you to him and maybe you can prepare him tea."

Sakura got up "I'll be right down." She muttered in a mellow tone.

She waited for Ian to leave. She took a deep breath and reluctantly made her way outside the room. She walked slowly downstairs her heart beating like a drum. She could hear his voice…it was really him. She could never forget his voice. She wanted to run back upstairs but lost control of her legs.

When she walked into the room, she had her head down. Without looking at him, she bowed at before him. "Hello."

He did not see her face properly. The length of her auburn hair went past her shoulders but he knew. It was her. The girl he left behind. It was strange having her give so much respect to him. She raised her head. Time seemed to stand still. Was any of this real?

Words were stuck inside of him and he swallowed hard.

"This is my wife Sakura." Ian introduced her.

"It's nice to meet you." She said her eyes looking past him.

He was confused; she was acting as if she did not know him. He gazed at her. She was lovelier than he remembered her. She wore a dress that went over her knees—her fashion sense had obviously changed. She had a ring on her middle finger. He bowed.

"My pleasure Mrs. Tamaki." His tone held volumes of meaning.

"Would you like some tea? You haven't lived until you've had Japanese tea." She told him.

Ian put an arm around Sakura's shoulder "Actually Sakura, Mr. Li here is familiar with Japan. He grew up here."

Sakura beamed "Is that so?"

Syaoran nodded in disbelief. What an actress she was, he always knew when Sakura was pretending. Her smile was so fake it made him slightly disgusted. He could not keep his eyes off of her. "Stop pretending, you hate tea. You know I hate tea." He had already drawn a number of conclusions, she still hated him and she was more comfortable with pretence. She left him no other choice but to play along.

"Yes, I lived here for 16 years."

She nodded "Alright, I better get to the kitchen."

………………….

It was over, their first meeting. Her hands were shaking. She took out a tray. He looked the same he did when he left her except he was slightly taller and built but apart from that, not much changed about him. She felt old looking at him. She was a 24-year-old mother and housewife and he was still a teenage boy. She had thought about so much and had so many feelings of resent against him. Now that he was in her presence. She did not know which emotion to feel.

She ambled back to the living room wearing that flawless smile. "Sorry for the delay."

She neatly placed the tray on the table in front of him. Her hands were shaking, she was afraid to spill the tea on him—but then again it wouldn't be such a bad thing.

For the first time their eyes met. He awarded her with a chill that literally gave her Goosebumps. How he had missed those eyes. As fierce as they were in that split second, he did not mind.

He took a sip of the tea and nearly choked "Uh…thank you. It's—delicious."

Ian proceeded in a conversation. Ian asked Syaoran about his job and his ambitions. Syaoran also learnt a few new things as well. Ian was an architect, he was very protective of Sakura and Sakura was a housewife. After a few minutes, Ian shook Syaoran's hand. "Good night. My wife will show you to your room."

Her face was smiling but insides turned into ash.

Ian was gone. Stupid man, Sakura thought referring to Ian, how dare he leaves her alone with Syaoran. There was a hungry silence in the room that was gradually eating them up. He got up from his chair and ambled to her. She stood up her eyes on the floor.

"I'm sorry." He said softly. He still could not believe he was looking at her.

She slowly withdrew her head now looking at his face.

"I'll show you to your room?" she grimaced.

She started walking outside the living room. He was right behind her "Is that all you can say? Fine I get it, you hate me. You have all the right to."

She did not say a word until they reached the guestroom. The guestroom was on the first floor. It was not far from the kitchen but felt miles away from upstairs where she slept.

She opened the door "The bathroom is there and you are welcomed in the kitchen anytime."

She half turned but before she could walk away, he grabbed her hand "I didn't know he was your husband. I swear. I didn't even think you were married. I'm not here to ruin your life. It's strictly business."

She looked at him "What do you want from me?"

He released her. He did not have an answer to that question. He gazed into her eyes; his feet were frozen. He did not know what to say.

It was a heartrending scene. She could smell the desperation. How the hell did a lighthearted guy like Syaoran become so damn…sad?

She could not find it in her heart to forgive him. She muttered angrily "You have no idea what I've been through."

Before he knew it, she was gone.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

It was 6 in the morning when Syaoran got out of bed. He put on a pair of jeans with a t-shirt and made his way to the kitchen. He did not get an ounce of sleep. The fridge was opened but there appeared to be one. He walked around the counter when he saw a little girl stretching her arm to grab a piece of chocolate cake. He stopped in his tracks and watched her. She slowly turned around her finger tips covered in chocolate. She wore a baby blue nightdress and bunny slippers.

"Hi" she said looking at him unfazed.

After looking at her face, he knew that she was Sakura's daughter. She had Sakura's emerald eyes. She had a fringe, long chestnut hair. He gazed at her feeling a little hurt and content.

"Hi, how are you?" his voice was shaky. He was starting to feel like an intruder in their home.

She licked her fingertips "I'm fine. Who are you?"

He smiled "Syaoran, I live here with your family for now."

She nodded "Really?"

"Yes." She reminded him of Sakura. She was not a cute little girl. She was beautiful. Her skin was like porcelain and there was a sparkle that never left her eyes. "And you are?"

She smiled "Asuna Tamaki. I'm almost 5 years old, I love chocolate, cartoons, gifts and everything that's pink, purple and blue. Pleased to meet you Syaoran." She said stretching her hand out for a handshake.

He chuckled; she was witty.

"What are you doing up?"

"Mama always wakes up late and my Daddy went to work. Can you please get me a cookie. The cookie jar is on top of the fridge. I can't reach that far."

Syaoran did as she asked. He was so astonished by her that he did not realize what he was doing.

They sat behind the table. Both had a glass of milk and the cookie jar was on the table between them.

"So you're almost five. When is your birthday?"

She took a sip of the milk, some of in flowed down to her chin "Saturday. I'm having a party."

"Is there anything you want for your birthday?"

She closed one of her eyes "Mommy says it's impossible. I want a star for my birthday."

He smiled once more. He felt a need to know her. She took a bite of her cookie, swallowed then asked, "How old are you?"

"Alot, 26."

"That's old. I think my granddad is the same age."

Syaoran chuckled.

She quickly finished her milk "Do you like cartoons?"

"Yeah, of course."

She jumped off the chair "I think spongebob is on."

They sat in front of the TV. Even though it was her favorite television programme, she could not stop asking him questions.

"Where are you from?"

"Hong Kong."

"My Dad never lets me watch TV or eat cookies. Please don't tell him."

"It's our little secret." He told her smoothly.

"Pinky swear?" she held out her pinky finger.

He smiled wrapping his pinky finger around hers "Pinky swear."

Suddenly her eyes widened "You're like me." She said giggling.

Syaoran's eyebrows shot up when she said that.

"You get holes in your cheeks when you smile, like me."

Syaoran paused "Is it possible that she's my daughter….then again, she can't me. I remember that night very well. I wore a condom…no way. It's mere coincidence…is it? I'm getting over my head."

She moved off the couch and waved her hand "It was nice to meet you. I have to wake Mama up. She always wakes up late."

He nodded "I know."

…………………

Sakura had been awake all night. She did not want to go downstairs. She feared bumping into him. The door slowly opened.

"Morning…" Sakura smiled.

"Good morning." Asuna climbed up the bed and rested her head on Sakura's chest. She put her hands around Sakura.

Sakura planted a kiss on her forehead "Asuna, you smell like cookies. Where did you get them from?"

She quickly wiped the crumbs off her mouth "Syaoran helped me."

Sakura bit her lower lip "You…you met Syaoran?" she stammered.

She nodded "He's very nice! I like him." she exclaimed.

So many things were rushing through her head. There was no way he could have missed it. It was obvious that she was his. He would be rather dense not to realize that at first glance. Sakura was now afraid, she held Asuna closer.

"Your heart is beating very fast." Asuna pointed out.

Sakura just smiled "Don't worry about that."

Next, Sakura had to undergo the everyday challenge of trying to get Asuna to wear her clothes. Asuna disliked pre-school. Every morning she would scream and cry. Some days she would run away and hide. Sakura locked her arms around Asuna as she cried trying her best to escape Sakura's grasp. The challenge now was to get her to put on her shoes while holding her. She cried louder. Sakura frowned, now they had a guest in the house, her behaviour was unacceptable.

"Asuna! If you keep crying we're not going to the pet store this afternoon."

She stopped screaming, tears streamed down her eyes "No! I don't want to!"

She somehow managed to escape Sakura's grasp. She ran all the way downstairs. Sakura followed her angrily yelling her name. She heard her cries coming from the guest room. She sighed slowly making her way there. She stood by the door where she witnessed Asuna in Syaoran's arms. She had her head on his shoulder and her hands were tightly clasped around his neck.

She was waiting for it; this was it, the point of suspense. She would have to explain to him but she would not need his forgiveness for what she did.

Syaoran looked confused. He placed an arm on her tiny back as her tears soaked his shirt.

"I can explain." Sakura said defensively.

He chuckled, he always found it amusing when Sakura was angry "You've got a beautiful daughter." He told her.

Sakura gulped, she was relieved. "Uh thanks, she's like this every morning. She never wants to go to school and when I go pick her up, she doesn't want to come home."

Syaoran kept a fixed smile on his face then he whispered to Asuna "I think you better go with your mama now."

She shook her head hard "I don't want to go. I want to stay here with her."

"School will be fun, I promise and besides, it will make your mama very happy."

Sakura watched them interact. To much of her amazement, Syaoran appeared to be good with children and Asuna showed that she liked him. She was not like this with Ian. Sakura gently pulled Asuna from Syaoran's arms "Thanks." She muttered.

……………………………………

Syaoran's POV

After the scene in the morning and seeing the look in Sakura's eyes, there still was hope for us—being friends again. I would have to settle for friendship. No matter what, things will never be the same again. My feeling for her will always extend far beyond friendship. In a matter of minutes, she would be back and the two of us will be alone. It was an excellent opportunity.

I walked outside to the yard, it was an impressive house. I made my way to the pool with my hands tucked in my pockets. I heard a car enter the garage, she was back. I turned around and watched her through she French doors.

Questions lingered on my mind as she carried on with her daily chores. I slowly walked into the kitchen where she was now washing the dishes. She half turned then turned away "Don't you have work?"

"Later." I said plainly.

She carried on washing the dishes, I knew how uncomfortable I was making her but I needed to talk to her.

"I've been gone for a long time, I know that. I hope someday you can forgive me." I paused moving closer "I don't deserve it….Please help me walk free of pain"

She did not move, she kept her back facing me.

"I never thought it would end like this; here you are married and a mother. I know I shouldn't but I've imagined this for us."

I moved even closer to her until I was only standing a few steps behind her. She smelled like strawberries. I took in her scent. I closed my eyes. My hands threatened to touch her. She stood still.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked.

Slowly my eyes opened, my heart was now in her hands, "Because…." I bit back the words "I never meant anything I said to you that day. I only did it to push you away. I didn't want to hurt you…"

"That's funny." She said.

I grabbed her shoulder and she flinched. I rested my chin on the hand that firmly held her shoulder. "I really missed you." I whispered in her ear.

"Syaoran…" she started when the door abruptly opened. Ian walked in and I quickly withdrew my hand stepping aside. He looked at the both of us warily.

"Honey…you're home." Sakura tried to break through a burst of emotions.

I unenthusiastically forced a smile "Sakura was just telling me…uh about Asuna's birthday party."

He ambled closer to us; he grabbed Sakura's wet hands and pulled her into a hug. He caressed her chin. Their faces touching; I kept my eyes fixed on Sakura. I needed to see how honest she was being to this man. She smiled at him looking slightly stunned by his public display of affection.

"What's this all about?"

"I got the job!" he exclaimed.

I turned away unable to trace any emotions that would indicate dishonesty.

All three of us sat in the patio for lunch. He had his hand around hers all the time. It was as if he was telling me that Sakura was restricted territory. Jealousy stole my ability to communicate. I bit hard on my lower lip. I tried not to look angry or frustrated but I couldn't help but think of what a lucky bastard Ian is. In my eyes, Sakura was a luxury far out of my reach. I wished I could touch her the way he did every night. I stood alone in this defeat.

After that, I visited Takashi to discuss the court case. Takashi had been careless; he was an accountant and had stolen money from the government for two years. We sat in his apartment behind a wooden table. I brought out a few documents.

"So where are you living." He said smiling from ear to ear. He did not appear to be affected by the possibility of going to prison.

I smiled at him "Sakura…and her family."

"Sakura??" Takashi asked his eyes filled with joy.

I nodded "She's married and she has a daughter. Did you know that?"

Takashi shook his head "No, no one really knows what happened to her. She sure segregates herself from the rest of us. I wonder why. I mean I was gone for two years since the last time we were all together. I heard she moved and her number changed."

"Yeah, I know."

"Doesn't it kill you though, knowing you two would have been together? Now you'll be seeing her everyday. Isn't it a constant reminder of what you lost? You need to get over her, she's married, you can't become a home wrecker. Dude it's not cool" Takashi never hesitated with the truth.

"I know…"

Takashi patted me on the shoulder "You need to start dating again. When was the last time you got laid? You allow her to occupy your thoughts."

I ignored the question. The answer was quiet sad really—actually, it was embarrassing.

"But then again, is she happy with this guy? You know her more than anyone else does. You should be able to tell if she is really happy or just pretending."

"I know…"

"Maybe you should try to seduce her. If she gives in, she's on your side."

"Hmmmm…."

I got back late in the evening. The whole family was having dinner. I smiled at Asuna who waved at me smiling back.

"Sorry we started without you, we just thought that…" Ian began.

"It's alright, I already ate."

I dismissed him with my eyes and started my way to my room. I locked the door and lay on my back on the bed staring at the ceiling. I turned aside to look at a painting, it looked like one hers. It was a woman…her mother. I stared at it. I could not ignore the sound of their voices. Sakura's sweet voice, Ian's strong voice and Asuna's loud voice. I could hear her cry, I could hear them argue. A tear ran across my face.

Authors note

I know how short this is but I was really busy this week. R and R please Thanks for all the reviews, they really keep me going ^_^