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Hi ppls. I know I haven't updated this in what? A year? But I have had personal issues that have kept me from getting back to writing. That and my computer imploded on itself and lost all my works. Now lets see, if I continue this story, I'll try to make it flow with the previous chapters. Now, as for critiques and stuff from previous chapters, I agree with them and will try to avoid them in the future. I will be editing this chapter to flesh ot out some more, just wanted to update. I'm having to use notepad so excuse grammer mistakes until I can actually get this into Word. Just a repeat, this chapter is no where near completed.

Chapter 3 - Spiral

Kurt's breath caught in his tight throat. He was screwed and he coudn't port out of it.

Scott moved slowly toward his teammate, reaching his hand out tentaivly. "It's ok Kurt," he said quitely "I just want to help."

Kurt slumped to the floor, he was tired of fighting and trying to hide. He felt defeated and he wanted nothing more then to curl up into a ball and disapeer. Everything that he held back came forth and sob broke through his horse throat. Why couldn't he die? Why did fate want him to suffer? He felt himself being held, awkwardly. Scott wasn't sure how to comfort Kurt, so he opted for a half-assed, manly hug.

'Disgusted to touch me, like everyone else.' Kurt stiffened and moved out of Scott's embrace, feeling very much like an unwanted obligation. He stood and walked into the showers and heard Scott exit the room. As he scrubbed, the overwhelming feeling of loneliness over took him and he dropped to the tiled floor. He wondered briefly if he died if anyone would miss him and he couldn't think of anyone. 'Who could miss me?'

He shook his head. He was too much a coward to take his own life and therefore he would continue to burden his teammates. He sickened himself. 'I should have let them burn me at the stake when I was younger... what a fool I was. If I had known... I would have.'

--

Professor Xs' head shot up from its previous resting place in his hands. He was not liking the way Kurt's thoughts were heading. "Logan, we need to keep a close eye on Kurt. Issue a suicide watch imidiately, please."

Logan was taken aback. "I'll let McCoy and Ororo know right away." Prof. X nodded and rested his head on his hands, trying to tune in with Kurts troubled mind.

--

Two of his teammates had seen him out of his well kept front, and he did not want to face them. He was sure Prof. X knew now too. Back in his room, Kurt looked around and his eyes again fell on the cross hanging on his wall. 'I don't blame you for leaving me.' he smiled a bit, his eyes watering. He walked over and lifted the cross of its nail, he gazed at the gilded bronze face of his savior and caressed it before turnig to his dresser and placing it in the bottom drawer.

He went out to his balcony and sighed as he looked up into the sky. Nothing had ever been easy in his life and he knew that nothing ever would. Would he fill like he was floating in a void for the rest of his life? Completely useless and lonely? He already knew the answer.

He was pulled out of his reverie by a faint rapping on his door.

"Come in."

Kitty peeked through the door and seen him outside on the balcony.

"Kurt?"

"Yea, Kitty?"

She didn't answer. Kurt turned around and seen her griefed look.

"Kitty? Whats wrong?"

She really didn't know how to approach her friend, but she needed someone to talk to. "Lance, dumped me."

'Oh Kitty, I warned you, countless times.' He hugged her and whispered encouragements in her ear. Thats what he was there for.

His eyes widened and he broke from their embrace. "I can't Kitty."

"What?" Her eyes shown with confusion.

"I can't keep doing this, it hurts too much." He walked into his room and sat on his bed. Head in hands.

"I'm hurting you Kurt?"

"No. I'm hurting myself with my delusions." 'Thinking that you could ever love me. Letting myself love you.' Kurt took a deep breath and looked up at Kitty, and smiled. "Don't worry about it Kitty. You did nothing wrong."

She looked at him and knew that she had been missing so much more than she knew.

"Were you ever told anything of my childhood Kitty?"

"No, I haven't Kurt."

"Would you like to know?"

She nodded and sat down beside him.

--

Kitty looked at Kurt with sad eyes. She had never known that Kurt had suffered through so much as a child.

"I was thinking this morning, Kitty, if I had died back then how little it would have mattered."

She looked at him, her mouth agape. "I would have never met you! Don't talk like that Kurt!"

He chuckled. "What difference have I made in your life Kitty, that someone else couldn't have filled?" She was quite. "See, Kitty. I can't find a reason to stay."

"I would miss you."

"Would you?" He turned to her, seeking her eyes. "Would you really miss me."

She stared hard at him. "Yes."

"How would you miss me?"

"You're my best friend Kurt. I would be lost without you."

'Heh, I was right.' He looked down, a sadened smile on his face. "Friends can be replaced and are easily forgotten, Kitty."

She sighed. "What do you want from me Kurt?"

He looked up, "Thank you." And without time for her to ask, Kurt was gone.

--

Prof. X snapped out of his meditation, his link with Kurt was gone. He raced to the control panels turning the mic on with shakey hands.

"Attention Students and teachers, please meet in the auditorium for an emergency meeting."

--

"We have a high alert emergency on on our hands team." Prof. X stated. He looked over the faces of his students. "I have called you all here because we must save one of our own, from himself."

Collective gasps and 'Whats' where heard.

"I can't waste time discussing this much further, but your objective to find and bring Kurt back." He said. "That is all."

--

Kurt felt his resolve strengthen, this is what he needed to do. His one tie to this world was severed and he was going to leave it.

"One ticket to Frankfurt, Germany please."