Tony peeked through the crack of the door, watching for the rise of her chest before he felt safe to close it. His bare feet padded on the tile and he found Bruce in the kitchen, idly sipping at a bottle of beer.
"She asleep?" Bruce asked.
Tony nodded. "It's safe, right?" He was referring to the mild sedative Pepper accepted in order to calm her anxiety and get some proper sleep.
"Absolutely," Bruce reassured him. "Given her accelerated healing, it'll wear off sooner than normal but it's totally safe for uh, pregnant women."
"Pregnant," Tony echoed. "I'm still in disbelief."
Bruce smiled. "Guess you gotta talk to Clint and get some parenting advice."
"I have access to a near limitless database of parenting resources," Jarvis said, almost indignant.
Tony rolled his eyes and grabbed himself a beer. He sat on a stool next to Bruce and chugged half of the bottle. Idly, he scratched at his chest, rubbing at the tender skin.
"Still itches?"
Tony shrugged. "Just feels like something's missing."
"Well, something will soon fill that void," Bruce said, kindly.
"Yeah, if it doesn't kill the woman I love," Tony retorted, sourly.
"Tony, it's a near miracle that Pepper was able to even conceive in the first place," Bruce said. "Between the two of you and all you've been through… well, let's just say you have some very strong and determined swimmers."
"Well, let's hope the kid comes out with her brains and not mine," Tony muttered.
"Tony, we'll get through this." Bruce patted his friend on the back. "You have the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. to—"
"No!" Tony yelled. The tone of his voice startled both of them. "No," he repeated, quietly. "We aren't saying anything. Anything, do you hear me?"
Bruce hesitated, then took another swig of his beer. "Sure, Tony."
"I'm serious." Tony grabbed Bruce by the shoulders. "Bruce, no one can know. Remember what they tried to do to you? I'm not going to let them weaponize my child."
Bruce was genuinely taken aback. "Tony, you serious? You think Nick would let that happen?"
"S.H.I.E.L.D. hired Thaddeus, didn't they?"
Bruce frowned at the memories of his ex-girlfriend's father and nodded in a conciliatory way.
"Look, I trust there are good people in the organization and I know the Avengers won't hurt us but—" Tony shook his head. "I've learned that you need to keep people at an arm's distance away. The fewer that know the truth, the less likely that harm will come to Pepper. We can't risk it getting out there. I don't want my—our—child to become some twisted science experiment."
Bruce hadn't considered that. He bobbed his head in agreement. "Your secret's safe with me, Tony."
"Good. Only you, me, and Pepper know, and I want to keep it that way."
"And me, sir," Jarvis chirped.
"Don't go posting on Facebook the news that you're going to be an uncle, Jarvis," Tony said.
"How are you going to hide it?" Bruce said. "You won't be able to get away with it for long. This baby isn't going to take its time cooking. We're talking just a few months, here."
Tony nipped at his drink, thoughtfully. "I have a place Upstate," he finally said. "In Austerlitz. A nice, secluded manor away from all of this. Lots of land, lots of fencing. And I'll still be close enough to the Tower in case I'm needed."
"What are you going to tell Nick?"
Tony's eyes darkened. "I don't answer to Fury."
"Okay, well what are you going to tell the others?" Bruce prodded, referring to their team.
"I don't know yet," Tony said. "What's important is getting Pepper somewhere safe and far away from prying eyes. I'll figure the rest of it out while I go."
"You're going to need a doctor," Bruce advised. "Far out in the country, this time of year? You can't risk not being close to medical care. You'll need to get someone who can sign a non-disclosure and who's familiar with unusual circumstances like this. A good professional whom you can keep on retainer." He had a pondering look on his face. "There's not a lot of people you could entrust with this, but I'm sure we can find someone."
"I already did." Tony stared at Bruce like he was a moron.
It took a good five seconds before it dawned on him. "Oh, no. No, no, no, no, Tony. I'm – I'm not an OB-GYN, I already told you, I'm not qualif—"
"Who else?!" Tony exclaimed, excitedly. "Who else in the world would be more qualified? You're irradiated yourself, so that already propels you to the top of the list. You're a freakin' genius, well, maybe not as much of a genius as I am, but close, very close, and besides, your specialties are way more suited to dealing with this." He jumped off of his bar stool and got to his knees, hugging his arms around Bruce's shins. "Look at me. I'm begging. I'm on my knees, Banner."
"Ah—ahh—" Tony tried to figure out the best way to extricate himself out of the increasingly awkward situation.
"I'm not letting go," Tony threatened. "I won't let go until you promise."
"Mr. Stark is known for his tenacity in order to get what he wants," Jarvis reminded Bruce.
"Ah, fine, Tony, Jesus just—get off!" Bruce exclaimed, shaking his one leg that Tony still clung to.
"Perfect!" Tony smiled, jumping back up to his feet. "Now, about that—"
"Tony?" Pepper's tiny voice came from the hallway.
Both men froze in their tracks and looked at Pepper. She leaned against the wall for support, one arm wrapped around herself. A red stain flowered in the thighs of her pajama shorts.
"I think something's wrong."
