A/N: HI!! I'm back!! Sorry for the delay, the holidays brought more than gifts. My mom broke up with her boyfriend…again. My great aunt and uncle came to visit and stay. At the same time as my oldest brother and his girlfriend and their 3 month old, who came down from that-one-place 3 hours north of Cincinnati. On their way here, they got in an accident (they'll fine). Too much drama. But I'm back!
I've decided to add things from one of the best shows ever. The music and the car are from the show. Guess the show and you'll get a surprise! Glad to be back, hope ya'll don't hate me!
(!$%^&*)
"Do you really think now is a good time for a relationship?" Dad said from the doorway of my room as I dried off from my shower. I can't stop smiling! All I can do is think of Mark and smile. I looked over to Dad and saw him frowning. I knew what he was thinking about. Or rather, who. April. Even dead, she's screwing with my life. First with the smack, then rehab. Now this, she seems to be a very sucky chapter of my life, keep coming up to haunt me.
"It's different, Dad." I said, turning to get dressed.
"And why is this different, all of the sudden?" Dad's voice rang out. I turned to him, pausing in pulling a T shirt on. He stood at the doorway, his arms folded over his chest. He glared at me, but I could see under that glare. He was scared. I was abruptly reminded of his face when he found me in my room, almost OD'ing on smack. Joanne and Collins had seen me high before, but Dad didn't even know. He panicked, called everyone he could, sobbing and when Joanne and Collins came home, they called 911, something Dad forgot. Collins did CPR while Joanne calmed Dad down. Dad's the reason I went into rehab. When I woke up, he was there in my hospital room. He sat in those uncomfortable chairs, crying. Sobbing his eyes out. When he saw I was awake, he grabbed me in a giant hug, sobbing harder. I vowed then I was going to stop for him. And after everything, my biggest regret is shattering Dad's image of me. I was the perfect son, now I was human. I was the strong one, keeping him together. Now I was just a teenager who turned to drugs, trying to help relieve the weight on my shoulders.
"Dad," I said pulling on my T shirt. "It's Mark."
He caught the smile, the way voice sounded out "Mark". With an almost reverence quality. Dad was the first person I told about my crush. I needed some help, my best friend suddenly became cute, I wanted to kiss him and hold him and hug him. Dad told me that there was nothing wrong with liking a boy.
"Just… be careful, please" Dad whispered as he hugged me. I wrapped my arms around and buried my head in his chest.
"ROGER! HURRY!" Collins voice rang through the house. He, Joanne, and I were taking my car ( which Dad brought in the first trips to the house) and explore Scarsdale. I looked up at Dad, and he squeezed me once more, then let go.
"Not to late, okay?"
"Right, yeah. Sure, Dad." I smiled at him, shoved my feet in my worn-out boots and grabbed my leather jacket as I ran down the stairs. Joanne and Collins were waiting by my 1967 Chevy Impala. I jumped in the front seat, pushed an AC/DC cassette in and we rolled away jamming, head banging out the rhythm and our symphony of voices belting out the words. As we went by Mark's house, I looked in the windows for him.
We drove around for a while, just taking in the sights. I drove them to the high school, where'd we be attending in a week for our senior year of high school. I hate that thought, that this our last year together before we separate. Collins to MIT, Joanne to Harvard and me to somewhere. We'll eventually flock back together, but during the separation is what I'm worried about. I don't trust myself, to tell the truth.
I pushed the thoughts out my head and focused on driving and having a good time. Collins stretched out in the back, Joanne with her feet on the dash head thrown back laughing. Collins sat up in the back, looking at Joanne's feet.
"What, Tom?" She giggled. "Got a foot fetish?" She wriggled her feet for emphasis. I threw my head back and laughed. Collins shook his head, eyes still twinkling from the previous mirth.
"Do you know that if we were to crash, your legs would go through the windshield and you'd become trap. And since most severe crashes result in the car catching fire and burning, you'd burn alive" his voice was calm, a complete contrast to the information he just imparted.
Joanne sat there for a moment, looked at me then put her feet on the ground. I looked in the review mirror at Collins. "Where do come up with these little facts?"
"I read" Collins stated simply. We looked at each other for a couple of seconds then burst out laughing. I pulled into an empty parking lot, and killed the engine. Joanne propped her legs back on the dash, I put my feet in her lap and Collins rested his feet on my knees. We sat like that contently for what seemed like forever, the night matching our silence. The air cooled and it was comfortable. Then…
"What were you doing outside earlier?" Joanne asked me, taking her feet off the dash and turning her body so that her long legs were under her with my legs still in her lap. Collins removed his feet and sat forward eagerly. I groaned, throwing my head back and stayed silent, my eyes scrunched shut. After a short time, Collins started to poke at my shoulder and Joanne at my calves. I groaned and opened my eyes a tad and groaned again when I saw that they wouldn't let it go.
"Nothing" I replied, trying desperately to sound cool and confident. From Joanne's eye roll and Collins snort, I didn't succeed.
"Then why did Daddy look stony" Joanne pointed out.
"C'mon, dude! Tell, tell!" Collins begged. I sighed as my head hit the back of the seat.
"I kissed Mark." I said.
"The cute little blond who lives next door?" Joanne asked sitting up.
"Yeah, that's Mark." I sighed.
"Why?" Collins demanded eagerly.
"I've been crushing on him since, like forever." I said, staring at the ceiling.
"Why were we not told this?" Joanne demanded poking me. "Look at us, please."
I looked up to see them smiling at me. I smiled at them.
"Are you guys together?" Collins asked.
"I don't know. I hope so." I answered. I started to panic. "What if he doesn't want to be together? What if he has someone? What if it didn't mean anything to him?"
"Calm down, Roger!" Joanne said. She grabbed my face in one hand and used the other to snap to get my attention. "You need to calm down, now."
"Yeah, we got your back." Collins deep voice helped me relax some, but I was still scared at the intensity of the pain in my heart at the thought of not having him, of him rejecting me. The drive back to the house is filled with Kansas. When we pull into the driveway, we saw smoke coming from the backyard and heard Black Sabbath. We smiled and ran in the back to see Dad and Gramps sitting around a fire pit. Collins and Joanne sat on the ground and grabbed at the plate of food they had brought out with them. As I walked over to them I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I looked and saw Mark on the phone, walking around his room. I stood there and he looked down and saw me. He gave me a smile and a small wave, both of which I returned. He grinned then returned is attention to the person on the other line.
"C'mon Roger!" Collins voice rang through my mind. I turned and walked over to my little group. Dad gave me a knowing smile before he put a Rolling Stones CD in and Collins and Joanne stood and danced like idiots, getting Dad to join them. Gramps sat next to me and watched them.
"So, you and Mark, huh?" His voice soft and gentle. I nodded the answer and I heard him sigh so softly that I almost doubted he did. Then he smiled, and wriggled his eyebrows. Which caused me to laugh, making him laugh. So we both sat there laughing so hard. I felt at peace for the first time since I could remember.
