A/N: This is a quick update to say thanks to all of you who are so nice and encouraging. I'm not sure when I'll next be able to update because I'm having a few personal issues right now, but depending on how much feedback I get I'll see what I can do. I'm glad all you guys are enjoying it so much, it gives me a bit of a much needed boost, so... thanks.

Once she was out in the street, it suddenly occurred to her that she had nowhere to go. The whole storming out thing might look great in the movies, but those characters probably had friends, or family, or lives to go to until it was safe to slink back home. For want of a better thing to do, she started walking. What the fuck was Elliot playing at? They didn't do that. They'd never done that.

You did once, said the little voice in the back of her head.

That didn't count. That was just an insane, desperate one-off, and he had known that just as well as she had. She'd been feeling needy and he'd just gone along with it.

You sure about that?

Yes. Yes she was. It had been an... awful, awful day. He was distraught over what had happened, and she... well, she was just angry.

And upset.

Well, fine, and upset. Terrible things had happened that day. That boy had died, and then she'd almost lost him not once but twice, and the second time had because he had wanted to leave her. And even though she knew it shouldn't have, somehow that had seemed worse. When she was stabbed, and she thought she was going to die, knowing that he was there with her made it OK. She'd realised how much he meant to her, and while she'd always known that he was important to her, that was the first time she'd actually admitted to herself quite how important he was. For him to want to leave after that, well... that just hurt.

And it was just that? It wasn't that maybe you'd had something you wanted to say, only before you did you'd pushed it away again as soon as you realised you weren't actually about to bleed to death on the Port Authority transit concourse floor?

Bullshit. She didn't do that psychobabble crap. Just like she didn't do... that... with Elliot. Ever. Well, once. But like she said, that was just a one-off. She'd needed it, and maybe he'd just wanted to know that someone didn't hate him. Whatever it was, it just wasn't something she did.

Well, let's be honest, it's not like you really do anything, is it?. You don't smile, you don't laugh, you don't go out, you don't bother with making any friends or having a social life outside of work...

No, she wasn't like that, she had lots of friends, lots of things going on.

What? Who? Alex? You know her from work and you don't see her outside of work. Casey? You haven't spoken to her properly in months. Who, Olivia, who? Who do you think is your friend?

Elliot. Elliot was her friend.

Like he will be still now you've blown up at him. You're lucky he's put up with you for this long. You ruin everything. Why do you ruin everything? Why do you do this, Olivia? Why are you so boring? Why do you scare off every man you meet? You used to date lots of men, Olivia. Why could none of them stand to be around you for longer than a single date?

Shut up, she was fine with men. No problems.

Really? When was the last time you went on a date? When was the last time you let a nice guy buy you a drink in a bar, or smiled back at one once in a while on the subway? You're nearly 44 years old, you know you wanted to get married and have kids but guess what, you didn't and now you've left it too late...

No, she hadn't left it too late. There were women in their 60s in the news who had had babies. There was still time. At least she was waiting for the right guy rather than just settling on anyone.

Come on. Remember that adoption agency that turned you down because you worked all the time and had no support network? They were right to turn you down, whatever Elliot might have said to try and make you feel better, and you know it. It has nothing to do with your not being able to find the mythical Mr Right. Face it, if you could find someone to just settle on right now, you would. Right now you can't get anyone interested, not even someone you'd have to 'settle' for...

Not true. Dating was difficult with a job like this. Men never knew quite how to take it. Every man she met, when they found out her job, they went weird. Either they stopped calling, or they got too clingy, or they turned into a massive pervert. It was hardly her fault.

Oh, please. Quit playing the martyr. You're no fun to be around, Olivia. You're a complete control freak. You make everything into a dull, joyless nightmare. When was the last time you did something fun? You don't drink more than one or two drinks on a night out because statistically that makes you less likely to be attacked. When you rented your apartment you chose it based on the crime statistics of the neighbourhood rather than the local social scene. The first thing you did when you moved in was install six extra locks on the door, rather than introduce yourself to the new neighbours. You don't respond to men in bars any more because you're scared they'll think you're leading them on. That's if you go out at all, which you don't, because you spend every minute at work. You make all these excuses about how this job makes dating so hard, but maybe it's just you, Olivia, maybe it's you that's the problem-

'Shut up!' snapped Olivia. A few feet in front of her a smartly dressed businessman recoiled in shock and started walking quickly away, glancing back every few seconds to make sure she wasn't following him. Fantastic, she thought, I've become that crazy woman on the street everyone tries to avoid. Suddenly she felt her eyes fill with tears again. Shit. She cursed Elliot. This was all that bastard's fault. Why did he have to go and do this? Why the hell would he think she would want to do this?

Because maybe you did, said the voice. Olivia swore silently, and suddenly spotted a bar she knew further up the street. If there was ever a time for a Martini, she thought, this is it.

A/N: There you go, hoped you all liked it! I actually quite enjoy doing these single-character discussions, I'll have to do more in future...