Chapter 3
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"Out of tune, this tale of terror. The solemn tolling of the funeral bell.
I want to know what's going on in that pretty little head of yours."
- Is It Progression If A Cannibal Uses A Fork? (Chiodos)
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I open the door to Malfoy's office as soon as I thank Healer Carter for showing me the way and watching him leave down the a hall for a few seconds. I forget to knock before entering, but I remind myself that I'm supposed to be angry. He went behind my back and told Pansy about what he saw and caused all this trouble with Harry, Ginny, and Ron. I should've told him not tell anyone about what happened, even though he probably would've told anyways. But I have a right to my privacy! And what happened that night was a private matter between myself…and him, I guess.
I walk into this office and find him sitting at his desk writing something down on a piece of parchment. I look around his room and notice that he likes to keep it very neat and tidy. I'm not all that surprised. I don't say a word as I take a seat on one of his chairs facing him. That Malfoy has not even looked at me the whole time I've been in here. I clear my throat to make my appearance known, but apparently he already knew it was me who is in his office.
"What do you want, Granger?" He says without even looking up from his work. "Did you come back to try to prove to me, again, that you know me even though you obviously don't? If you are, you can save your breath. I don't want to hear it."
"Actually, I'm here because you had the nerve to go and tell Pansy what happened to me the other night at her party. And now she has told Ginny, who told Harry and Ron. Now there is a big mess and it's all your fault!"
He finally looks up from his desk and looks at me like I've lost my mind. Why is he looking at me like that? I know he knows exactly what I'm talking about. What's wrong with him? Perhaps he's gone deaf, or possibly mute. When he still doesn't say a word and just keeps staring at me, I become a little nervous.
"Are you going to say anything?" I ask.
I hope he didn't hear the quiver in my voice.
"Yes." He finally says. "What, exactly, did happen that night?" He places his elbows on the tables and sets his head on top of them while he keeps his stare on me like he's examining me.
Why is he turning the conversation back around to be about me? I came here to call him out, damn it. And all he does is bring it back like I did something wrong, like it's my fault that it happened.
"I'm pretty sure I explained to you what was going on already and I did not come here to discuss it again with you. Why did you tell Pansy about it?" I ask with a stern voice, trying to let it known that I mean business and I'm not here to play games with him. But he doesn't even seem phased by it.
"I can tell whoever I want about anything I want." He leans back onto his chair and puts his hands behind his head as he says this. And I have the sudden urge to just push him hard so that he'd fall backwards.
"Not when it concerns someone else's private matters and without their consent to do so, first." I say a-matter-of-factly.
"You didn't say that I couldn't tell anyone, either. And since you seem to know me oh so well, you should've known that I would've told someone."
"But why'd you have to go tell Pansy of all people?! You know she and Ginny are like the biggest gossipers of the Daily Prophet and not to mention that Ginny is my best friend. Now, she's freaking out over it., and Harry and Ron…"
"And you."
I blink twice.
"What?" I ask, not quite sure what he's trying to imply.
"Why are you freaking out over it?"
He catches me off guard with this question.
"What? I'm no-"
"Don't try to deny it."
"I wasn-"
"If I remember correctly, you told me that you've been having a fever. Well, then why don't you just tell your friends that? Why is it so bad that they found out? If it really was just a reaction of your fever, which I highly doubt that's what caused you to collapse like that, then tell me, Granger, why are you freaking out over it?"
He sits up and looks at me closely. Knowing how piercing his eyes can be, I look away and stare out his window. It was about nine in the evening and the stars were shining brightly in the sky. I spot the moon towards the left of the scene. It's shining just as brightly and its silver glow reminds me that I'm still sitting in front of Malfoy. I turn my attention back to him and notice that he hasn't moved his position even an inch.
"I…I just don't want them to worry about me."
"Why? Is there something they should worry about?"
"No, there is not." I say with fabricated confidence.
"Cut the bullshit and why don't you try to tell the truth for once?"
I'm this close to getting up and slapping him, but I know what he's doing. I'm not stupid. I know he's trying to get me to tell him the truth, to tell him what really caused me to have my sudden attack. He's a nosy bastard who needs to know everyone's business. But there's no way I'm going to tell him. Not after he went and told Pansy about the other night. He's already caused too much of a mess. I don't need him to go and blab about this too.
"Why are you so interested? Why do you even care?" I ask him, giving him his own medicine.
"Because I know something is wrong with you, physically, and I know that whatever it is, it's huge. It's so huge that you don't want anyone to know about it. No, I don't care about you, however…" He leans in closer to me like he's about to tell me his secret. "I am interested because I want to know what huge secret is causing Hermione Granger to lie to her best friends. And believe me, I'll find out. It's your choice whether you want to tell me yourself or not."
"I don't have to tell you anything." I say to him and fold my arms across my chest. I can be just as stubborn as the next person.
"Fine." He leans back onto his chair and fold his hands in front of him. "Let me inform you that I know for a fact that when you were here earlier you were not visiting a friend like you so claimed. I'll just take a look at your file in St. Mungo's and see for myself what you're not willing to tell me or anyone else for that matter."
"That's illegal!" I gasp. He wouldn't do such thing. He wouldn't! Not even Malfoys would put their job, especially a job as big as being a healer, on the line just to try to spite someone. "You can get into so much trouble for that and most likely lose your job!"
"Not if no one finds out. No one has to know if I look through your file."
"And what makes you think I won't say anything? That's a total violation of privacy. My privacy!"
"I'll just deny everything, lie to everyone. That's something you're good at, right? Maybe you could give me some les-"
That is the last straw. I stand up so fast the chair I was sitting on falls to the ground with a loud thud and without hesitation I give him a big slap on the face. By this time, tears are free falling down my face, but I make no move to brush it away. I'm too angry, but I'm not as angry with Malfoy than I am with myself. I'm angrier with myself for letting him read me so well, for coming here in the first place, but most of all I'm angry at myself for letting him defeat me. I was supposed to come here and let him have it, to take him down for causing this entire mess just because he couldn't keep his big mouth shut. But instead he turns this around like I'm the one to blame.
Without another word, I turn around and leave his office.
I love my job. It may not be the best job a person can have and certainly not the best paying job, but I love it anyways. And now that I've been working here for the last three years, I can't imagine working anywhere else. Some may call it babysitting, but I consider it caring for children who need it most.
The place I work at is an orphanage where we take care of young children who have either been abandoned by their parents or if they're parents have passed away and they don't have any other guardians. The orphanage is quite big and is broken off into departments depending on the age range of the children. Then it's broken off again so that no more than ten children are in a room together. The smaller the group the easier it is to care for each of them and give them all the attention they deserve
I am assigned to one of the rooms in department two, which means it's one department up from the youngest children. Currently, we have seven orphans here ranging from four year olds to seven year olds. They are the most precious kids and they just light up my day. Not matter how I'm feeling before I walk into the building, whenever I see them running up to me with huge smiles on their faces, I feel my heart brighten up like the sun.
There are eight employees in total for our room and we all have different shifts with at least two employees together per shift. I work four days a week and start at seven in the morning until four in the afternoon. My partner is Luna Lovegood. She's the one who got me job here in the first place. At first, I was a little sketchy. Luna and I were never really close. I consider her a friend, though I wouldn't go and tell her my deepest darkest secrets…but, then again, I don't even tell my best friends. After a while, though, she became a really good friend and, honestly, out of all the others who work here, I'm glad I got paired up with her.
As I'm walking inside the building, I'm getting so excited to see their little faces. So much has gone on since I've last seen them, and it's only been five day since my last shift. I just need to get away from all the craziness even if it's just for a while, even if I can't really get away from it all. I open the door to the room where all the children should be sleeping, since it's still pretty early, but to my surprise they are all awake.
"Miss Hermione!" They all greet me simultaneously and, just as I had suspected, run up to give me hugs. I am reminded everyday I come here why I love my job so much and why I could never leave this place.
"Good morning, everyone! My, we all woke up early today, didn't we?" I smile at them.
"Why sleep when we can go play!" One of the older one shouts and, like always, causes the younger ones to follow in with their agreement. It's amazing how much influence someone older can have on the younger ones.
"Then why are you all still huddling around Miss Hermione? Come on, there's still a little more time before breakfast." Luna says from behind me.
"Yes, Miss Luna!" They all say at once and then disperse in their own direction, except for one.
"Miss Hermione!" The four year old, and youngest of all the children in here, girl exclaims like it's the first time she's seen me. She raises her arms to me and I can't help but smile at her. I pick her up in my arms and walk over to sit on her bed.
Ever since little Sara has been here, about a year ago, she's clung to me. She always asks for me when she doesn't feel well or if she's in a bad mood. She's usually the first one to greet me when I walk through that door and the last one to say goodbye when I leave. It broke my heart the first time I saw her. She was so small, she still is, but she looked so frightened that night they brought her in and I vowed to never have her feel that way ever again.
"Did you miss me, Sara?" I ask her this question every time I come back to work from my days off and even though the answer is always the same, I love to hear it.
"Always, Miss Hermione!" She looks up at me with her big blue eyes and I can't stop smiling at the little girl in front of me. Her golden blonde curls are a mess from sleeping, but she looks the cutest like this.
"What did you do this week?" I play with her little curls that have fallen over her face.
"I play with the new dolly that Miss Cara got for us and oh, she bringed a bunny! It was so cute, Miss Hermione! She was, she was! And she was a little one like me!"
"Sounds like I missed out." I laugh.
"Alright, everyone line up for breakfast." Luna calls from the front of the room.
All of our kids run towards her and just like she asked, they line up single file. Sara hops down from her bed and grabs my arm to pull me along with her. She surprises me with how much force and strength she has for such a small body.
The cafeteria is on the first floor so it's easier for the younger children to walk there. We enter and each child knows where they are assigned to sit. I excuse myself and walk into the lounge where the employees take their breaks. I make sure no one is inside as I take out my first potion of the day. With one more glace around the room I take a quick sip and slip it back into my bag, thankful that no one caught me…
"What was that?"
Damn it.
"What was what?" I ask.
"That bottle you just drank from. I saw you slip it into your bag."
"Oh that. Um, that was just water, yeah, water. I have a special bottle I like to keep my drinks in."
I know, I know. That was probably the most ridiculous excuse anyone could ever come up with and only a complete idiot would fall for that one. I didn't do a very good job of trying to convince Luna and although she looks dazed, like she always does, I know she doesn't believe me, but unlike everyone else she lets it go. Well, sort of.
"How were your days off, Hermione? Anything new happen?" She asks me as she takes a seat at one of the tables and starts eating her apple. I have no choice but to join her.
"Not that I know of…oh, did you know that Malfoy is a healer? At St. Mungo's? I found out yesterday." I say, maybe that'll change the subject a little and pull her away from what I know she wants to get out of me. Is paranoia a side effect too?
"Really? How'd you find out? Were you there yesterday because I know you don't talk to Malfoy on your own free will."
And, yet again, I have no such luck. Since when did Luna ask so many questions? She usually just accepts what someone says and leaves it at that. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she's interrogating me, but why would she be doing that?
"I was visiting a friend…" I didn't say this because I wanted to lie to her and get it over with, okay maybe a little, but what I am trying to do is to see if she really is interrogating me.
"A friend? Who?"
From that, I get my answer.
"Luna," I sigh, I'm not going to go on with this 'conversation' any longer. Now that I know she's just trying to get something out of me. "Why are you asking me so many questions?"
I just can't seem to escape the questions. Not from anyone.
"Look Hermione," She sits up straight and looks me straight in the eyes. I've never seen her so serious before. To be honest, I'm kind of frightened by it. I'll take Loony Lovegood over this serious one any day. "I'm not going to lie to you because I know you are a smart girl and you've figured it out. Ginny visited me last night and told me what happened and…"
Ginny. I should've known that little red head would be the one behind this. I can't believe she even resorted to telling Luna about what happened! I'm sure by the end of the week, every person will know.
"And what? I told her what happened. If she doesn't believe me than that's her problem. "
At this point, I've had it. This was supposed to be a secret. No one was supposed to know about anything that has to do with my heart problem. I was supposed to fully recover from this without anyone ever knowing about it in the first place. But one little slip up has caused such a mess that I don't even know if it's worth keeping it a secret anymore. I'll probably end up digging myself a bigger hole.
"Let me finish, Hermione. Ginny told me what happened and she does believe you. She really does. She was just upset at that you didn't tell her about it afterward."
"I didn't think I needed to…" I mumbled, one of the few truths that have come out of my mouth in a while, and look down at my hands that are lying on my lap.
"The thing is, she believes you, but…I don't."
My head shoots up and I look at Luna, speechless.
"What do you mean you don't believe me? It's…the truth…" Well, there goes my truth streak.
"Is it really, Hermione? Or is it something else?" When I don't say anything, she takes that as her sign to keep going. "You might be able to fool the others because they really want to believe that nothing is wrong with you, but I don't think that a mild fever could cause an attack like that."
Suddenly, I feel like I'm back to having that conversation with Malfoy. I can't even get away from this mess at work! And to think I was looking forward to get away from it all. What am I supposed to say to that? Out of all the people, one would think that Luna would be the last person to get all serious. I need to think of something to say. Think Hermione, think. Who would've thought Luna Lovegood would be able to stump Hermione Granger?
"Miss Luna, Tyler spilt his milk on me!"
We both turn around to see Lily, one of the younger girls, standing in the doorway. Her shirt is drenched in milk and tears are streaming down her face. Luna looks back to me and gives me the 'we aren't finished' look before turning her attention back to Lily. Her seriousness disappears and the "normal" Luna that I know returns as she gets up to attend to the little girl, leaving me to sit in the lounge by myself. I wonder if it's a skill that she has to be able to do that, but then again I don't really want to know. I'm just glad the interrogation is over, but for some reason I know it's not the last one I'll have.
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