Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story is that of the author, it does not reflect the opinions of TNT, creators, writers or anyone involved with the Hawthorne TV show.

Deceit, Regret, Confession.

**Chapter three.**

Three months later

The End Is Only The Beginning

Her Vision of him

It was early that Friday morning when Christina awoke and rolled over onto her back at the annoying sound of their alarm clock going off, Tom had already left due to an early a.m. surgery, as she reached over and turned it off she laid there for a few minutes just thinking about how long and trying the week had been, she was past exhausted but was looking forward to a quiet weekend and some quality time with her husband. As she pushed the covers back climbed out of bed and headed for the shower she noticed that her cell phone was blinking, she reached over grabbed it off the night stand and flipped it open to see a text from Tom that read. "Good Morning sunshine hope u slept well I'll see u in a few hours." And at the end of the text she notice three letters. "I L U" Christina smiled in a soft laugh and hit the reply button and typed "I L U 2" and she hit send closed the phone and walked into the bathroom.

"Good Morning! Ms. Hawthorne" Christina, secretary said as she followed her into the office.

"Good Morning! Yolanda how are you doing this morning?" Christina asked as she sat her things down and walked over to pour herself a cup of much needed coffee.

"I'm good and yourself?

"I'm exhausted looking forward to getting some much needed sleep this weekend. Christina told her as she took a sip of coffee and all most gagged on it. "Eww! Yolanda what did you do to the coffee this morning?"

"What? Is something wrong with it?" I make it the same way every morning, I can make a new pot if you like?"

"No that's okay, I just can't drink this."

"You can't drink what?" Tom asked as he walked through the door.

"The coffee it taste funny this morning."

"Good morning Dr. Wakefield."

"Good morning Yolanda how are you?"

"I'm good thank you."

"Here Christina, let me try it." Tom took the cup from her hands taking a sip, Christina there's nothing wrong with the coffee in fact its better then mine."

"Then you can drink it."

"Its fine Yolanda Christina must be having problems with her taste buds this morning."

"Thanks Dr. Wakefield, I'll be at my desk it you need me." Yolanda told them as she started to walk out of the room. "Oh here are your phone messages, don't forget you have a two o'clock meeting with the board of directors there's some paperwork on your desk that needs your attention and the information that you requested on the end of the month status reports, oh and don't forget Dr. Marshall can see you at eleven o'clock this morning."

"Thank you Yolanda please remind me about fifteen minutes before.

"I will."

"What would I do with out you? You're a life saver." Christina called out to her as the door closed.

"You would go nuts." Tom replied as he started to laugh and take another sip of the coffee he was holding. "So what are you seeing Brenda about this morning?"

"I'm just feeling rundown so I thought I would see her, Dr. Choudhary can't get me in until next week." she told him as she took a seat at her desk and looked up at him. "What? What is that look you're giving me?"

"I'm just looking at my wife that's all." Tom told her as he stared down at her thinking how beautiful she was.

"Did I do something wrong?" Christina asked with concern in her voice.

"No Christina you're beautiful and everything is fine sweetheart."

"Are you sure Tom? You would tell me right?"

"Yes I would, stop worrying that you're doing something wrong okay." Tom said as he leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips as his pager started to go off. "Hey that's the O.R I better go see what's going on I'll see you later, I want to know what Brenda says." He told her as he leaned over and kissed her one more time before heading for the door.

"You'll be the first to know." she told him.

"I better be." he said as he walked out of the room.

A few hours later

Ties That Bind Us Together

Don't cry over spilled milk

It was eleven o'clock and Christina was on her way down the hall to Brenda's office when she ran right into her.

"Hey you! You're right on time.

"Hey, yeah you know me I didn't want to keep you waiting."

"Well come on in and tell me what's going on with you Christina?" Brenda said as she closed the door and they both took a seat. Christina just sat there for a few minutes.

"Okay Christina what's going on?"

"Truth I'm not sure; I'm feeling rundown I'm just so exhausted all the time."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Umm… for the last week or so and maybe a little longer its not getting better its just getting worse."

"How are you sleeping?"

"I'm sleeping through the night its just I go to bed exhausted at the end of the day but I wake up more exhausted I'm just so tired all the time and its just been a struggle getting through the day without wanting to take a nap.

"And your appetite how is it?"

"It's so, so." Christina told her as Brenda gave her a funny look. "Okay fine I really don't have one."

"Okay I know your fatigued but are you having any weakness, dizziness, headaches, difficulty concentrating, or irritability?"

Christina looked at her with a half smile. "Brenda come on we work at James River, headaches and irritability comes with the job, but the answer to your question yes I've had some headaches and I'm irritated a lot but none of the other things."

"it sound like you might have an Iron deficiency why don't we take some blood run some test, I'll do a chem. panel 7, a CBC and a few other test to see if we can pin down what's going on before we go any further, I'll put a rush on it and let you know what I find. Do you want me to put this under a Jane Doe?" Brenda asked as she drew a few tubes of Christina's blood.

"Please and Brenda thank you."

"You're welcome Christina."

Christina went about her day as usual she didn't give the test that Brenda was running another thought. Hours had went by, Christina was sitting at her desk going over a few reports when she heard a knock on her door.

"Come in." Christina called out as she looked up from what she was doing to see Brenda standing there with a medical file in her hands and a look of shock on her face, Christina started to get an uneasy feeling about what Brenda was about to say.

"Christina? I have you're blood work back." Brenda told her as she took a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"Okay how bad is it? Christina asked as she sat there a little unnerved.

"Here I'll let you read it for yourself."

Christina forced a slight smile and threw Brenda a pointed look as she reached across the desk picking up the file, she started to read the results of all the test that Brenda had ran as she flipped the pages all was looking good until she came to the third page and half way down it she saw the word positive she stared at the word for a few seconds then she took notice that it was a HCG test she read over it again and again as her heart started beating rapidly she started to breathe heavy, panic was starting to set in she looked up at Brenda as shock grew across her face Christina was speechless more like terrified she didn't quite understand what was going on.

Brenda looked at Christina in a perplexed way she couldn't quite read her expression she wasn't sure if she was happy or not. "Congratulations! Christina you're pregnant, and you're a little anemic."

"What? How? How did this happen?" Christina asked in confusion.

"Well if you have to ask how." Brenda replied in a laugh. "You need to ask Tom"

"No! I mean. You said it would be…" I'm what?" Christina replied as she pushed away from the desk her body was starting to feel out of control she grabbed the arms of the chair tight as her breathing became harder to do. "Oh God I can't breathe."

"Christina!" Brenda called out as she scrambled from her chair and flew to the other side of the desk. "Okay Christina take it easy you need to calm down and breathe come on short breaths that's it inhale now exhale slowly."

"I thought… Brenda I thought I couldn't get…"

"Christina I had the lab run the test three times, I know I said that it would be extremely difficult if not impossible but you are.

"But I…oh God I told Tom that I couldn't get…" she started to say as Tom walked into the room.

"You told Tom you couldn't get what?" Tom asked as they both looked over at him Christina was still having trouble breathing. "What the hell is going on?" Tom all but yelled in concern as he noticed that Christina was in distress. "Christina are you okay?" Tom asked as he kneeled down next to Brenda and started examining her himself. "Christina breathe are you okay?"

"It's nothing I'm fine Tom, I just got a little excited that's all." she said as she looked up and over at Brenda who was now standing.

"She panicked Tom."

"Panicked! Why?" Tom asked as he looked up at Brenda then over at where her hand was sitting.

"I'm going to leave you two to talk if you need me page me I'm leaving this here." Brenda told them as she tapped the folder she was touching, she looked back at Christina giving her a look to suggest, just tell him before she walked toward the door and left the office closing the door behind her.

"Okay Christina what's going on?" Tom asked as he stood up and picked up the file and started to read the first page. "What is this? Are these the test that Brenda ran on you?"

"Tom don't please, not yet."

"Christina what is it that you don't want me to see?" he asked as he took the folder and walked across the room.

"Tom!" was all she could say still feeling a bit of panic she couldn't move, as she watched him read the results of the first page and flip to the second then the third she looked up at him as shock started to appear on his face. Tom closed the folder laying it back on her desk as he sat in one of the chairs across from it, he ran his hands over his face as he lowered his head for a few minutes, the smile started to replace the shocked expression he had.

"Tom please say something." she asked in a teary voice as he looked up and just stared at her thinking how beautiful she was when she's pregnant and thanking God that he gave them a second chance at being happy. "Are you happy about this? Sweetie please say something." Christina asked again as her nerves were starting to get the best of her, he sat there staring she didn't know what to think or what he was thinking. Tom took a deep breath after a few minutes doing his best to compose himself of the overwhelming feeling of joy he was having.

"Christina, I'm shocked as you are but baby there is no doubt in my mind I'm happy, I'm not even sure happy is the right word for what I'm feeling right now." Tom told her as he stood up and walked around the desk pulling her from her chair and taking her into his arms as he kissed her softly then whispering into her ear. "God I love you Christina."

Christina closed her eyes at the soft sound of his voice as she laid her head into his chest it was something that has always calmed her no matter what was going on in her life as she held on tight she softly whispered back "I love you too Tom more then you know."

A Touch of Comfort

Running on Empty

Christina spent the rest of the day sitting in meetings and doing paperwork she had never thought that this was the kind of thing she would be doing but here she was, as she sat at her desk she thought how happy she was at this moment she was giving Tom something that he so desperately wanted that they wanted, she picked up the phone to call Katayoun's office to make an appointment but decided to walk over and see her in person she grabbed the test results and headed for the door.

"Hey Christina where are you going?" Kat asked as she saw Christina getting off the elevator.

"I was just coming over to talk with you, do you have some time?"

"Sure! Lets go to my office and you can tell me what's going on." Kat told her as Christina nodded her head and followed Kat back down the hall and around the corner. "Ok Christina have a seat and tell me what's going on?" Kat asked as they both sat down.

"Well this for one." Christina said as she slid the folder across Kat's desk. Kat sat there reading over the file for a few seconds as she reached the third page and half way down it her eyes widen.

"Christina Congratulations!"

"Kat can I really be… I mean Brenda said that it would be extremely difficult if not impossible?"

"Christina calm down, tell you what we could do another blood test if you want but you know that the lab runs them twice to make sure, we can do an ultrasound if you like?"

"Okay let's do the ultrasound."

"Okay! Just a few questions first. Do you remember when your last cycle was?" so we can determine how far along you are."

"umm…I'm not sure Kat the last few months hell the last six months have been a little stressful with everything that has went on I don't think I could tell you what I had for dinner last night but if I had to guess maybe a month in a half or two months ago."

"Okay so were looking at you being six to eight weeks the ultrasound will tell us more umm…" Kat started to say as she looked at Christina with concern in her eyes.

"What? What is it Kat?"

"Christina I would like to call Tom in on this you both need to know the risks of this pregnancy."

"Okay I'll call him now just give me a sec." Christina said as she stood up and walked into the hallway to make the call, as the phone started to ring Christina took a deep breath then exhaled as Tom answered the phone. "Hey sweetie can you meet me over at Kat's office she wants to talk to us." Christina paused for a second as Tom told her that he was on his way. "Okay sweetie see you in a few minutes." she told him as she hung up the phone took another deep breath and walked back into Kat's office and took a seat. "He's on his way."

"Okay while we wait on Tom I'll have Linda set you up an appointment." Kat told her as she picked up the phone and dialed her outer office. "Will go ahead and do an ultrasound today just to take a look, yes Linda I need you to set up an appointment for Christina Hawthorne Wakefield as soon as possible please, yes its prenatal." Kat told her as Linda ran off some different days and times. "One sec, Christina is next Friday good for you?" Kat asked as Christina nodded her head yes. "Yes Linda that's fine umm… no just bring it to my office she's right here thank you." Kat said as she hung up the phone.

"Okay Christina you know your going to need to take it really easy with this pregnancy."

"I will Kat I promise." Christina told her as they both looked up to the knock on the door.

"Come in." Kat called out and as the door opened Tom was standing there. "Tom please come in have a seat, now that I have you both here." she started to say when they heard another knock at the door. "Yes come in."

"Sorry to interrupt here is the appointment you asked for." Linda said as she walked into the room then handing the appointment card to Christina.

"Thank you." Christina said as she took the card and placed it in her pocket.

"Thank you Linda." Kat said as Linda turned and headed for the door closing it behind her.

"Okay sorry about that, now Tom, Christina first I just wanted to say Congratulations!"

"Thank you Kat."

"Now I want to go over a few things with both of you this pregnancy is not going to be easy, Christina your age makes you high risk for one and the endometriosis also makes you high risk you also could be looking at a Low birth weight, having a C-section you can develop high blood pressure problems, or pre-eclampsia and you can go into preterm labor." Kat explained with an expression on her face that had Tom and Christina a little more then concerned as they both turned and looked at each other, Christina took Tom's hand into hers as they turned and looked back at Kat.

"Kat what aren't you telling us?" Tom asked feeling there was more to this.

"Umm…." Kat started as she looked at both of them and forced a smile "yeah there is just one other thing I want to really stress." Kat said as she stared at them for a few seconds.

"What is it Kat?" Christina asked in a concerned voice. Kat lowered her head for a second then looked back up at her friends.

"Kat please just tell us." Tom said.

"This condition, Christina it increases the chances of miscarriages, I'm sorry." Christina looked at Kat then at Tom as she let go of his hand and stood up she walked over to the other side of the room putting one hand over her mouth and placed the other on her stomach as tears started to form in her eyes, Tom stood up quickly and went to her wrapping his arms around her.

"Tom I can't lose this baby I…I just…I just can't." Christina cried out as she looked up at him with tears running down her face.

"Christina were not going to lose this baby, we can do this together."

"Tom what if…."

"Listen to me were not going to lose this baby okay? Do you hear me?"

"I hear you, we can do this right?"

"We can do it," Tom told her as he hugged her and kissed her on the forehead, okay Kat what do we need to do now?" Tom asked as he took Christina back over to the chair to sit down.

"Christina I'm going to write you some scripts for prenatal vitamins, folic acid and one for a iron I see here you're a little anemic. Christina your going to need to stay calm and stress free and for you I know that's going to be hard but your going to have to do it, you have to take it easy for the next seven to seven in a half months, if you don't Christina I'll put you on complete bed rest and I don't mean at home I will hospitalize you I mean it."

"Ok I understand."

"I want to see you every two to three weeks, Christina caring this baby to term is going to take a lot I mean a lot of discipline on your part can you handle that?"

"Yes! I'll do what ever I have to do."

"Okay so why don't we all go over and do an ultrasound make sure that little guy is doing okay." Kat said as they all stood and walked over to one of the empty exam rooms. "Okay Christina if you would take a seat on the table and lay back for me please." Kat said as she went over to the sink and washed her hands. "You ready to see your baby's first photo?"

"Ready as I'm ever going to be." Christina told her as she undid the button and unzipped her pants, lifting her shirt and exposing her stomach as she took Tom's hand.

"Okay lets take a quick peek this is going to be a little cold," Kat said as she squeezed the gel onto Christina's stomach, she moved the transducer around just a bit she turned the monitor toward Christina and Tom, theirs your baby Christina looked at the screen then turned and looked at Tom.

"Sweetie look. That's our baby." Christina said as Tom smiled and leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Okay Christina you can sit up now." Kat said as she turned off the machine and handed Christina some Kleenex's "everything looks okay if you start to have any and I mean any problems you call me."

"She will." Tom said before Christina had the chance.

"I will Kat; I'm not taking any chances." Christina said as she sat back up.

"Ok so I'll see you or both of you next Friday?"

"Yes you will." Christina said as she climbed off the table she took Tom by the hand. "Thanks Kat for everything."

"Your welcome take it easy, get some rest, and I'll see you next Friday." she told them as they all left the room.

To be continued...