Alaia Skyhawk: Holy...shiiiiiit... (Stares at the stats for this fic) Two days in and this already has 41 story alerts! Ok, I get the message. I'll update lol XD

Oh and someone recognised me from the Tales of Symphonia section! (Grins) If you're a fan of those fics, I will finish them eventually, I've just had some major writer's block and got stuck. Anyways though, onwards to chapter 3!

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.

~()~

Chapter 3: A Question of Motives ~Part 3~

It was almost like an eternity, an eternity frozen in that moment when the rage filled eyes of the Pendragon Prince stared into the guilt stricken ones of Emrys. Both of them also showed pain, pain and grief that gradually welled to the surface until neither could bear to look at the other.

Arthur stepped back and slumped to the ground, looking almost broken as he sat there staring at his sword. Part of him wanted to do it, wanted to run Merlin through for what had happened to Camelot when the dragon had been freed... But the other part had seen the guilt in Merlin's eyes, the remorse, and that part also remembered that the warlock had gone out to face Kilgharrah and death right alongside him.

Merlin did know what he had done, why else had he wanted to be honest about it?

Arthur forced himself to look at Merlin, who still sprawled there among the leaves littering the forest floor. Had he ever seen that particular expression the other's face before? He couldn't really remember, and right now he didn't care. All he wanted was answers.

"Explain... Tell me why, Merlin! Why did you do it?"

He didn't even realise it at first, not until the breeze revealed the cooled trails down his face. He, Arthur Pendragon, was crying.

Seeing those tears, droplets also welled up in the warlock's eyes, to trickle away and drip into the cloth of his shirt. He had to fight to find his voice beneath the urge to sob, but find it he did.

"I... When I first came to Camelot, the Great Dragon called me to him. I didn't even know it was a dragon, he was just a voice in my head that wouldn't leave me alone. He... He told me about the prophecies, about how you and I would bring about the return of magic to Camelot. I thought he was insane because you were a total and utter prat; selfish and arrogant and full of pride. But then he said that perhaps it was my destiny to change that, to help you learn what you needed to in order to become the king the prophecies said you would be. After that day, whenever something came to Camelot to hurt you or the kingdom, if I couldn't find a way to stop it in my spellbook I would go to him for advice. After a while he made me promise I would release him, but I kept putting it off and putting it off. During those times I saw you change, saw you becoming a prince that everyone respected and admired for all the right reasons. In the end, when the Knights of Medhir attacked, in order to get him to tell me how to break the spell that was making everyone sleep... I swore on my mother's life that I would free him."

Arthur jolted, shocked.

"You... You did what?"

Merlin, closed his eyes in anguish.

"He refused to accept my promises anymore, and it was the only oath I knew he would accept. Her life means more to me than my own, and he knew I would keep it. After Morgause stopped the knights and fled with Morgana, I stole one of their swords. A few days later I took it down to the dragon's prison, and I used both it and my magic to shatter the chain that kept him there." He sat there, fists clenched in his lap and tears pouring down his face. "I didn't know he would turn on Camelot... No, I just didn't want to believe it. I knew that as the last of the dragons he would probably want revenge on Uther, but I let him go anyway because I couldn't bear the thought of my mother dying because of me."

"...Merlin..."

Arthur's whisper was hesitant, and cut off as the warlock surged to his feet in mental torment.

"I tried... I tried to stop him with my magic but it was useless. None of my spells worked against him, and all the while I had to watch as he attacked Camelot night after night, and you and the others had to face him. I'd saved my mother's life, but I ended up paying for it anyway." He bit back a sob, gritting his teeth. "Just before we left to try and find Balinor, Gaius told me something he'd been keeping from me. He told me who my father was. He wanted me to know it before we left."

Something began to dawn on Arthur, his expression of growing denial evident in his voice.

"Wait, you're not saying that..."

Merlin's voice was almost a ragged scream as he uttered his next words.

"I freed Kilgharrah to protect the life of my mother, but because I freed him I ended up getting my father killed! I only got to know him for barely a day, he didn't even know he had a son until I told him. I was so happy that I'd met him, and that I had him beside me, and then all of a sudden he was taken away when he gave his life to protect me!" Merlin's tears continued to fall, like a rain of sorrow upon the forest floor. "When a Dragonlord dies, his power passes to his firstborn son. His last words to me were about that, about what to do when I faced Kilgharrah, telling me to be strong. He believed in me, but I was so torn up inside I just couldn't think. When we got back to Camelot I believed I was a failure, and that nothing I could do could stop what was happening. Instead I resigned myself to riding out with you to face him, fully expecting to die... When you were knocked down, and I saw Kilgharrah towering over you about to kill you... It was like I stepped out from myself and forgot my fear because I had to make sure you lived. My father's voice was there, with me, telling me what to do... and I did it. I took control of Kilgharrah, forced him to submit to my will as a Dragonlord, and he obeyed me. And then, after speaking with him, I let him go..."

Arthur, suddenly broken from his sympathy for Merlin, began to splutter.

"You let him go?" He stopped, realising something. "Wait! You told me I'd dealt him a mortal blow!"

Merlin actually laughed, although it was harsh.

"And what was I supposed to say? 'Hey, Arthur, guess what. I just granted mercy to the dragon and told him to leave. Don't worry, he won't harm Camelot again, because I told him if he did I'd kill him'."

Arthur got to his feet, sheathing his sword.

"You said that?"

Merlin sighed.

"You have to understand why I did it, why I let him go. To have killed him for what he'd done, when as the last of his kind the only path left to him was revenge, wouldn't have been right. By granting him mercy I freed him from that fate, the fate your father chained him to the day he chained him beneath the castle. Part of me did want to kill him, but I suppose it was the Dragonlord in me that made me see reason. That if I could find it in myself to let him go, it would make me stronger as a person, strong enough to keep protecting you instead of taking the easy way out and walking away. I'm the last of the Dragonlords, and he is the last of the Dragons, and in that there is a bond we now share. A bond that saved my life, and Camelot, five days ago."

Arthur blinked, remembering something.

"When you were talking to Gaius, while I was pretending to be unconscious, you told him Kilgharrah saved you."

Merlin nodded.

"Yeah... I called him and he came, and then he kept me safe until I was able to walk again. After that he carried me back to Camelot so I could help you. They say good deeds are their own reward, and I guess having him be alive for me to call on was mine."

The prince seemed almost deflated, the anger in him was gone. To see Merlin spill out and re-live all that grief and pain had washed away his rage and instead brought acceptance. Merlin had done what he had to do, and had faced and dealt with the consequences. It was the way the world worked, and nothing he did now could change what had come before. All he could do now was do as he had done, and learn from it.

"Say, Merlin... Can you call Kilgharrah any time you like?"

A black eyebrow was raised, its owner slightly confused although relieved that his best friend no longer seemed to want to kill him.

"Yeah, but this close to Camelot it wouldn't be a good idea."

The prince clambered back into his horse's saddle, looking down at his manservant.

"I can stay out for as long as I wish so long as I'm back in the city by nightfall... Is there anywhere we can get to and back from in that time where it would be safe to call him?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to set an example... and apologise to him for what my father has done."

~(-)~

The errant stone was tossed into the undergrowth, having been plucked from beneath the Prince and sent flying in punishment for digging into his rear. Silence had fallen between him and the warlock since they'd resumed their ride; Merlin needing time to calm his grief, and Arthur needing time to think some more. The two of them were sat on the edge of a ravine, the river in its depths lending its hushed roar to the sound of the wind in the trees. The midday sun was overhead, they still had plenty of time, but he couldn't help but feel nervous waiting for Kilgharrah to show up.

And that was all they could do, wait. When they'd got to this place Merlin had roared to the sky, ancient works of the Old Magic spilling fluently from his tongue. Then he had told him that he didn't know how far away the dragon was, so didn't know if he would show up before they had to return to Camelot, and sat down to resume his silent musings.

This silence was almost maddening...

Arthur glanced at the warlock, frowning a little while turning a stick end-over-end in his hands. He didn't blame Merlin for being quiet, after all he did throw him to the ground and threaten him with a sword not two hours ago, but at the same time he still wanted to talk.

Plucking up the courage, he asked the question that had been on his mind for a while now.

"Merlin... I was wondering, what made you choose to study magic? Ealdor may be outside Camelot's borders, but it's still close enough that my father would have killed any sorcerer's found there. Why did you take the risk?"

Merlin stiffened for a moment at the question, before relaxing and snorting.

"Prat... I didn't choose to learn magic. Oh sure, I chose to learn spells and stuff that I needed, after I came to Camelot, but before that it was never any decision on my part. I didn't choose magic, Arthur, it chose me."

The prince brought his knees to his chest, bracing his arms and chin on them.

"And what do you mean by that?"

Again the snort.

"I was born with it, Arthur... I was moving things with my mind before I could even talk, condemned by Camelot's laws the moment I took my first breath. Mother was terrified I'd be found out, and made me promise to keep it hidden. Will..." He grimaced, taking a breath before continuing. "Will found out by accident, and we ended up becoming best friends because of it. Even then though I didn't quite fit in Ealdor, and people were beginning to notice all the little strange things that happened whenever I was nearby. I couldn't deny my magic though, I kept using it even when common sense would have been to not to. It's just so much a part of me that to stop using it would be like trying to stop breathing. That was when mother decided to send me to Camelot, to Gaius. She knew he'd be the steadying hand I needed, and that he would teach me how to make the best use of my powers. And from there you know what happens. I stayed in Camelot, saved your life for the first time, and was rewarded by being given the honour of cleaning up after your lazy ass."

They both stared at each other, before both began to chuckle weakly. The camaraderie between them was still there, even if at the moment they were both still trying to reassure themselves that it was. This time as the silence fell it was a more comfortable one, they were both happy to just wait for the dragon to show up... If he would.

The change in the wind was the first clue he was about to arrive, a faint shiver that any decent sorcerer would have recognised as the ripple of Old Magic. For Arthur it was a feeling he couldn't quite put his finger on, one that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. Merlin however got to his feet with a slightly uncertain grin.

Arthur got up as well, leaving his sword on the ground when Merlin indicated he should do so.

"He's here?"

The warlock nodded.

"Yeah, he's close. I don't know how he'd going to react when he sees you with me though. You don't have to worry about him hurting you, he can't while I can control him, but well..."

Arthur began to shake his head in amazement, starting to laugh.

"You're afraid he's going to tell you off! You're scared he's going to scold you! Oh this is just rich! The mighty warlock Merlin, scared of being told off like a little girl!"

"Hey!"

Merlin's glare only served to make Arthur laugh more, neither noticing the pounding of wing beats until Kilgharrah landed in a spray of dirt and leaves on the edge of the ravine. Both of them froze, turning slowly to face him, tense and silent waiting for him to speak.

The dragon just tilted his head, thoughtfully considering the pair, before raising the draconic equivalent of an eyebrow and starting to chuckle.

"Well well, it seems the young Pendragon has learnt the truth about the young warlock that is his manservant. I was wondering when this day would come."

Merlin cringed a little, trying not to give in to the urge to look anywhere but at the dragon.

"You're... You're not mad at me for calling you here like this, are you? Because if you are it was his idea."

The last part was blurted as Merlin pointed accusingly at Arthur, who glared back in indignation. The sight of this was just too much for the dragon, and Kilgharrah burst into laughter.

"Ha ha ha ha, why should I be displeased, young warlock? It is your destiny that you two should walk the path to the future together. That the two of you now stand side-by-side, each knowing the truth of the other, it brings me hope that I should see this. You are doing well, young warlock, on this difficult road that you traverse. When you spared my life you showed to me the man you would be, and it is that man who has the trust and faith of the prince that stands beside you."

Kilgharrah lowered his head, to look closer at Arthur who was clearly trying not to back away nervously. The prince took a deep breath, making a couple of false starts before he got his words out.

"Umm, Kilgharrah, I just wanted to say that I'm..."

"There is no need for you to apologise for the misguided actions of you father." Kilgharrah interrupted him, his tone benevolent. "It is not for children to pay for the sins of their parents, that is something you believe. It pains you when you see your father slay the innocent youth alongside their families for consorting with magic, and yet you would do much the same to yourself to pay for his deeds." He turned his head, to regard the prince with one huge amber eye. "You possess a pure heart, young Pendragon, one that will light the path of a brighter future. Know that it is your father alone who must atone for his crimes, and not you whom see the mistake of them. Time will come when you ascend to the throne of Camelot, and while I personally cannot see it happening, it may be that you get him to understand the truth of magic before that day arrives."

Arthur looked surprised, taking a step towards the dragon.

"Wait, are you saying that..."

Kilgharrah spread his wings, his voice resounding around them as he flew away.

"If there is any chance that Uther may redeem himself before his end, it will only happen if he listens to the words of tolerance spoken by you, his son. Remember that, young Pendragon."

In moments he was gone, out of sight beyond the canopy of the trees, not even the sound of his wings reaching them. Staring after him, Arthur glanced at Merlin before pointing.

"Call him back!"

Merlin grimaced, looking bemused.

"I could, but that doesn't mean he would talk. You forget, I know what he's like, and trust me he's said all he's going to say. When he flies off like that, it's pointless trying to get anything else out of him." He turned, heading off to where they'd tied their horses so Kilgharrah wouldn't scare them off. "We'd best head back to Camelot. You might be allowed to stay out all day, but I think it would be a bit wiser to come back at a more reasonable time. Of course, that's just my opinion."

Arthur rolled his eyes, shaking his head before following.

"And you are the mighty Emrys, the wisest and most powerful sorcerer that has ever lived." He stopped, acting as if he'd just remembered something. "Oh, wait, I forgot... You're not yet."

Getting onto his horse, Merlin smirked.

"Did you know I learnt a couple of spells from Kilgharrah?" Arthur stopped what he was doing to stare at Merlin. The smirk widened into a grin. "Maybe I should call Kilgharrah back, he might be able to teach me a spell or two to make you shut up."

A fistful of leaves to his face was the reply, Arthur riding away while the warlock spluttered spitting out bits of dirt.

"Come on, Merlin! Hurry up!"

~(-)~

Alaia Skyhawk: (Grins)