The contestants stood in the white round room of the competition. Atop of his podium, Thanatos stood while folding his arms, his darkened eyes overlooking the crowd with a sense of aloofness.

"Today shall be the first day of combat." The dark lord announced. His demonic voice resonated through everyone's souls. He lifted a bloody battle-axe with into the air in a sweeping gesture of ceremony. Glowing demonic runes were etched into the blade. "The wheels of fate will assign your opponent; as well as our publicity specialist." He said the last part in a barely audible voice, before clearing his throat and speaking loudly, "You shall clash with them on a battlefields randomly selected from your realms. The rules of this engagement are simple: each team will pick two of its members for the battle and they will fight to incapacitation with another duo. To refresh your memory, slayings are not only allowed, but encouraged. I know some of you may hesitate in this endeavor, but I suggest you withdraw your pitiful mortal ideals if victory is on your mind. You will be made aware of whom you will face and where you will be transported to at this time." A red streak of lightning cascaded from the abyss and set his axe ablaze with a demonic sapphire fire. He paused for a second, smiled wickedly, and announced, "May all of your sins be sublime."

A number of envelopes blazed into continuation with a small whiff of flame in a hand of one of every team's members. Master Chief happened to be the one to receive such an 'honor' on his team. He peeled open the envelope and took out a sheet of parchment. There were but two things written on it in a Victorian style font. They were 'Opponent: Team Twenty-Six' and 'Location: Antioch, Auir."

"Do any of you recognize that place or remember which team that is?" The Spartan asked his companions, his voice as cold and unemotional as ever.

"Yeah, I remember the team." Sora announced. "That was one with those odd cartoony looking characters. Oh, and that more normal looking guy; uh… Brock or something…"

Ed sighed, "I just wish we knew more about them."

"Make haste to choose your champions. When you have done so, have them sign their names on parchment." The inhumanely deep voice of Thanatos ordered. "After that, step into the Arch. You will then be transported to your designated battlefield. Make haste, for the first ones there shall be in a better position to stage an ambush."

"But I don't have a-"A pen teleported into Sonic's gloved hand. "Oh."

He then pondered for a second. He didn't know anything about Auir or the Protoss, but at least the word 'city' gave some hint as to what type of battlefield they were facing. "Alright, I'm not really the best in this case… there isn't much room to move around in."

"I'll go." Spartan 117 volunteered.

"I'm with you." Ed announced, nodding. "This should be easy!" He declared with a confident grin.

"Good. He seems competent enough, but maybe a bit too cocky." Master Chief thought. "What are your abilities, kid?" The Spartan asked.

"Alchemy." The young man asked with a smile. "I'm capable of transforming up to a certain amount of matter into whatever I wish. However, no matter can be destroyed in the process. This is called Equivalent Exchange." He explained, quickly clapping his hands and transforming part of what Master Chief thought was metal on his arm into a blade. "For instance, I can create whatever I wish using this as long as the same amount of matter as is in it is used. However, I cannot change basic elements into something else. That's difficult if not impossible to do."

"How do you do that?" Sonic asked in a stunned voice.

"I'm not sure exactly how it works, I guess you can call the energies that are used to do it 'magic,' but a lot of science is required to use alchemy at all." He than turned to Master Chief, "What can you do?"

"You'll see." Master Chief simply stated.

His teammates were young, brash, overconfident and not militarily disciplined from what he saw: definitely no Spartans. However, they'd serve their purposes. The Ghost of Reach took the pen from Sonic and signed the paper before handing it to Ed. As he finished the last stroke, the arch showed the vision of a half-destroyed alien looking city. The two turned to stare at it in awe. No one else seemed to notice any change.

"Can… you guys see that?" Ed asked.

"See what?" Sora inquired, confused.

"The arch changed… I guess each competitor sees it differently."

With that, two made their way over to the titanic onyx arch and stepped in, anxious yet confident about the coming battle.

Unearthly smokeless white fire streaked from the ruins of what was once the great city of Antioch. An alien race called the Zerg was responsible for this, having years ago conquered this world. Though many of them had since left the city after the High Templar Tassadar annihilated their director, the Overmind, a few still remained, mindlessly scrounging through the ruins. They were unable to find a purpose in life without help from a commander long dead.

Ed and Master Chief were teleported to what used to the main hub of the city. Master Chief held a shotgun and had the backup of an energy sword or scoped pistol that were clipped on his belt. Ed stood without a weapon but was ready to transmute what was needed. They stood in the middle of what was once a circular park of some sort. Unfortunately, all that remained were a few rocks, trees, and patches of cobblestone-like walkway still holding out against overgrowing grass. Surrounding the park were a few standing buildings, mostly pyramid or phallic shaped. They were yellow and pearl in color.

It was around midday. The bright sun of Auir illuminated everything around them quite nicely. High in the red skies flew few large Zerg species called Mutalisks, a two-winged creature fond of firing parasitic projectiles at its enemies. Accompanying them were many large crab-looking monstrosities called Guardians. Down below, a few Zerglings, a small dog-like alien, scampered about the city they had so long ago destroyed. They didn't seem to take notice of the duo. The other team was nowhere to be found.

"Alright. Where are the- OOMF!"

A red streak of light bolted down from the tops of buildings and slammed into Ed at supersonic speeds. This tossed him like a ragdoll into the side of a small building about fifty yards away. It then curved towards Master Chief and-

"NNNHHH"

-plowed into him. He was ready for this though, having since bent his knees slightly in a defensive posture while blocking the light with his shotgun. The light pushed him back a few feet before he managed to slow himself, kicking up dust as he moved. At this time, he was able to see what was producing the source of the light, the Powerpuff Girl Blossom. She was currently gripping his shotgun while hovering a few feet off the ground.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He spat before tossing her off. "A kid?"

She flew a few feet backwards, still in flight, before telling him, "I'm no joke, mister."

He pointed his shotgun at her and prepared to fire, all the while telling himself "Getting to Earth is more important than her momentary suffering."

He fired a shot at her. With almost lightning reflexes, she dodged to the left. He fired another shot, and low and behold, she dodged to the right.

"This is going to be a bitch." Master Chief groaned before the teeter tot hero charged at his torso fist first, faster than one could blink.

She reeled back her arm and swung at him. He blocked this with the side of his left arm. His shields flickered and absorbed most of the kinetic energy, and then he-

"OOF!"

-slammed a slightly diagonal right hook into her with the strength that only a Spartan could muster. She glided away from his side for a few feet before plowing into the dirt.

She quickly recovered, sat up, and with a cocky grin said, "You're going to be more trouble than I thought."

Her eyes began to glow red.

"But let's see how tough you are without that shield of you-"

Master Chief interrupted her speech with another shotgun blast. She barely had time to roll out of the way.

"FUCKING. COCKY. KIDS."

He didn't wait for her to get up this time, with the speed of Sonic he was upon her, ready to finish her with a hit from the butt of his shotgun. It was at that moment that a pair of burst lasers hit him, depleting his shields entirely. He triangulated the origin of the shot and looked upon one of the highest buildings nearby. Clinging to its side about 20 stories up was one of Dexter, Boy Genius' latest combat inventions, a six-legged monstrosity of a machine that rather resembled a crab. A laser cannon was mounted on each side of its cockpit. Both still smoked from the previous firing.

"I TOLD YOU YOU WOULD-A NEED MY HELP"Dexter gloated using a built-in loudspeaker.

Another laser blast sailed towards Master Chief, only giving him a split second to move out of the way only to be knocked to the dirt by the now back-in-action Blossom. A series of super-powered fists slammed into his helmet, denting it more and more every hit.

"THIS-" She slammed a superpowerd fist into his visor. "IS FOR TRYING TO KILL ME." She struck him again with an impact as loud as a thunder crack. The young hero seemed to have a tear in her eye at the last hit. She only managed to punch him one more time before the last Spartan gripped her by the hair and slammed her into the ground with his left arm. The hit seemed to weaken her a bit, for she couldn't seem remove herself from his fist.

"Hopefully the twerp won't fire at me with her so-"

Dexter fired another shot, confident in his targeting abilities. The two streamed towards the Spartan at the speed of light only to hit a block of stone, newly transmuted by Ed. The inch deep holes they formed smoked. The champion stumbled to Master Chief's side, panting heavily. He was still recovering from the initial blow from Blossom.

"Never could stay out of a fight long." He uttered in a strained voice with a hint of his usual cocky grin. Master Chief managed a small smile under the helmet. At that moment, his shields began recharging a bit, though a bit slow for his liking. He stood up and deposited an unconscious Blossom on the ground, slung his shotgun around his back and withdrew the unlit hilt of an energy sword. He quickly ignited it, the ground quickly illuminating around him with the long blue blade of plasma.

"Let's finish this."

Ed's eyes were wide open at the sight. Blossom opened an eye as well.

"Like you have a CHANCE!" She screamed before firing a pair of eye-beams at point blank range at Master Chief. His shields managed to hold for the second he needed to bring the sword down upon her.

"WAIT!" The alchemist wailed desperately. He was too late. The Powerpuff Girl's head rolled off her shoulders while her overly large eyes rolled to the top of her skull. A plethora of blood poured from where her head was attached. In the anti-verse, a million demons all howled in glee. This was too much for the Fullmetal Alchemist to handle.

"You… you killed her." Ed stammered, shaking his head incredulously.

"It had to be done." Master Chief stated robotically. "She'll be back."

"Don't you try to pull that crap on me!" Edward shouted, still shaking slightly. "No matter how you look at this, it's wrong! I don't care about that cloning crap!"

"It's the quickest way to end this waste of time, damnit!" Master Chief shouted, sharing with Ed his angry side for the first time. "At this moment, a fleet belonging to an alien coalition hell bent on wiping out every last human is heading towards my home planet. I need to get back."

A beat. Ed stood shocked.

"Either help me or stay the hell out of my way."

"I-I'm still not going to help you kill Dexter." He announced.

"Well that's dandy, but at the moment he's trying to kill YOU!" Master Chief barely had time to grab Ed and move out of the way of another incoming laser blast. He knew it was only a matter of time before Dexter would recuperate from seeing his teammate die.

"Time to bring that thing down." The last Spartan announced.

The UNSC hero began charging towards the large, yellow, pyramid shaped building that Dexter clung to.

"Fine, I'll help you!" Ed called, still shaking slightly.

"What?"

"Don't kill him and I'll help you, damnit!"

"We'll see."

With that, Ed joined Master Chief in his 200-yard run, occasionally dodging potshots from Dexter and a few rocks and trees here or there. After a minute, the duo eventually reached a large opening in the outer wall where they presumed a door must have been. It was here when Dexter decided to open his mouth.

"PSH, MY WONDERFUL INVENTIONS CAN'T BE BESTED BY AMEOBA LIKE YOUUUU!" He taunted, his annoying voice echoing from building to building. "SURRENDER YOURSELF TO MY INSURMOUNTABLE GENIUS!"

Bad idea.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORTER THAN AN AMEOBA! YOU NEED THAT GIANT MACHINE TO OVERCOMPENSATE -" Masterchief clamped an armor clad hand over the enraged alchemist's mouth.

"We need to get up there before he decides to move."

Master Chief flicked on his shoulder-mounted flashlight to illuminate the interior. A long, three-foot wide hallway stretched on for what seemed like forever. They made their way in, finding nothing along the way including any sort of staircase or DOORS. The only features were pairs of crystals that sat upon four-foot high pedestals spread along either wall.

"Alright, this is just nuts." Ed complained. "What kind of alien race builds a place without doors?"

Master Chief was stumped as well; even the Covenant used types of entranceways at High Charity.

Ed tapped his chin, "Unless… they don't use doors." He said, smiling.

He reached out to a random crystal and tapped it. His forehead wrinkled in frustration when nothing happened. He thought for a moment, and then placed both hands on it.

Again, nothing.

"Why is this so complicated?" He asked rhetorically, shaking his head in disbelief. "Wait a minute, why would they build teleporters activated by mere touch? That would probably cause some… I've got it."

He then tried pushing the crystal down, and then to the side: with that, he was teleported away in a flash of blue light.

Master Chief blinked. The kid was as bright as he thought. He was able to work through problems under the clock as quickly as any soldier could. Could he have had military training on his own world? He shrugged off his thoughts and touched the crystal. After a flash of light, the Spartan found himself with Ed in a small windowless room, the only feature being more crystals of the same type as the ones in the hall, each hugging a wall. An additional one was near the wall that the heroes stood by, its color different from the rest.

"Alright, the one nearest to us will probably take us back; the others will probably take us to another part on the floor… so colored one?" Ed guessed.

"Sure." The Spartan said in a bored tone.

"Hopefully this will work…"

The two activated it and were whisked away to a room with about the same features as the last, save for a story tall cylindrical tube in the middle of it. There was also an additional crystal near where they arrived of a different color. They kept going up and eventually reached the 19th story.

"You know, he's probably not on the building anymore by now." Ed stated.

"That's why we're heading to the roof." Spartan 117 retorted. "With any luck we've driven him off the building. He might even have even gotten impatient and left his machine to hunt for us. I'd like to have the high ground in either situation." The roof was a desolate place, save for a foot-wide hole in it likely corroded by a Guardian's acid attack. Master Chief and Ed walked over to the side of it and looked down. Dexter was gone.

"Raaaaahhhh" A fear-inducing roar emanated from the hole behind them. The two heroes twirled about.

"Common, bring it on!" Ed screamed.

He attempted to transmute the alien material below him to form his halberd, but was unable to do so.

"Damn, crap must be very chemically advanced. I don't know how to transmute it."

Having no other choice, he transmuted his automail arm into a blade.

A Hydralisk, a large almost snake-like creature, slithered out of its hole with its yellow alien eyes fixed upon its new-found prey. It had two large scythes for arms and was nearly eight feet tall and ten feet long. It emitted another bone-chilling snarl before firing a series of armor piercing spines at the duo. The two rolled in separate directions out of the way of the poison projectiles. Master Chief took aim with his shotgun and fired liberally.

"Rahhhhhhhhhhh!"

Several large holes formed in the creatures' body near its tusked head. It retracted for a second, screamed in pain, regained its strength and charged towards the last Spartan. Ed saw this, gasped, and went at the creature at a side angle. The genetically modified monstrosity slowed, turned to meet him and swung one of its abominations for arms down upon the young alchemist who blocked the blow with his blade. The creature brought all of its strength down upon him, causing his knees to buckle. Sweat dropped from his forehead. Saliva dripped from the Hydralisk's mouth, signifying its anticipation for a quick meal. It beast raised its other scythe-like arm for the killing blow.

His Spartan ally fired another four rounds into the Beast's side with his M90 Shotgun before having to reload, distracting it from cutting Ed in half like it had with so many Protoss warriors before. The hero of Amestris knocked the arm he was parrying away, rolled to the creatures other side, and cut it open its hide with a quick slash. The former soldier of the Overmind howled in pain, blood spewing out of it and all over Ed. A deep red gash had been formed in its skin.

"Damnit! This was a new coat!" He spat and struck the creature again. Sensing an opportunity, Master Chief slung his shotgun and flicked on his energy sword. He surged forward with the deadly Elite weapon underhand. With one quick motion, he drove it upwards through the creature's skull from bottom to top. He then flicked off his sword and let the minion of Zerus hit the roof with a loud thud, dead as a doornail.=

"Hahaha that was a piece of cake!" Ed announced with a grin while walking over towards his Spartan companion, alien blood still dripping off his blade. His suit was almost completely covered. Master Chief nodded, attaching the sword hilt to a magnetic clip near his waste. "Not bad."

"Not bad?" He said while laughing. "We kicked that thing's ass… or whatever it has."

"That we did. However, we need to get going so we can find Dexter." Master Chief told before walking towards the teleporter.

Ed held up a finger, "And not kill him, right?"

The Spartan turned to face him.

"I can't promise you anything except that if I have the opportunity not to have to pull the trigger, I'll take it" Master Chief said matter of factly.

"Don't let this competition get in the way of your dignity. You're no killer."

"My dignity died long ago. Let's go."

They made their way back to the hallway from whence they came. They eventually reached the entrance hall, a bit away from the passageway in. Dexter's voice was there to greet them. The arrogant genius was standing at the entrance.

"You really thought I'd stick around and wait for you to attack from above?" He asked. "Are you two STUPPPID?"

"Why don't you come forward and say that you damned coward!" Ed screeched.

Dexter cackled at that. "You know, when those demons said we'd be facing the likes of you, I knew I honestly thought I'd be in for a fight, but that was before I knew that I'd be able to summon inventions from my laboratory! After that, I knew I'd be the origin of a slaughter! Hahaha. Still, why bother with complex machines of destruction when you can go back to the basics, right?"

A series of cloaked ticking plastic explosives revealed themselves, spread all over the walls of the alien hallway.

"Don't bother trying to teleport away; I've planted these in every room near you." He gloated. "Now say hello to god for me!" The Boy Genius laughed like a maniac. "Na, I'm just kidding. I don't believe in any god!"

Master Chief lowered his shotgun in defeat.

"Smart kid."

Ed merely chuckled.

"I think you forgot the first rule of any battle, Dexter."

"And what might that be?" Dexter asked in a cocky tone.

"Know your enemy."

Ed clapped his hands.

The ticking stopped.

No bombs went off.

Foul smelling white goo leaked out from the plastic casings of the bombs.

"What… no. NO. My beautiful creations!" He stammered, awestruck. "How did you do that!"

"You're not the only one who knows a thing or two about science. Most explosives on my world are made out of a material called cyclotrimethylenetrinitramine, or cyclonite. I examined my friend here's hand held bombs he carries around and found they were made of the same thing. He said it's called RDX. I reasoned you used the same thing as well." Ed explained while smiling proudly. "This material is harmless in its liquid form, so all I had to do was excite the molecules of it to make your bombs duds."

John-117 blinked.

Dexter's jaw hit the floor.

"What device did you use to do such a thing?" He asked, eager to acquire more knowledge.

Ed tapped his forehead. "Nothing with but what's up here."

"Then you are some sort of magician!"The tyrannical twerp proclaimed. "Please, I must know more!"

Ed grinned. "Sorry buddy, but this has gone on long enough" He called before charging down the hall towards him. With a left hook, Dexter's glasses flew from his face. He spiraled into the ground, blood spewing from the mouth. He didn't get up.

"Dexter has been incapacitated." A booming voice echoed from oblivion. "Edward and John-117 are victorious."

"Now, we need to have a little talk. I want to know more about those powers of yours."

"I'll tell you everything I know once we get back," Ed promised.

A moment later, they were gone.