AN - Final chapter, I'm amazed at how quickly I've got this all out. Huge thanks to c3llar door for the review on the last chapter! If you're reading, please let me know what you think! Feedback is always awesome :).
Fidelius
3. Reconcilio
There was a numbness he had not felt in years, crashing into him with every step that Harry took away from him. He could not even bring himself to move, to chase after him. Neville snuffled loudly at his side, wiping the blood from his face.
Sirius Black was dead.
'Professor,' said Neville meekly. 'Professor, are you okay?'
Remus tried to shake the film from his mind, but it clung as pain blossomed within. Now was not the time, he knew that, but in his mind's eye he saw his friend's body fall through the veil, over and over again, heard Harry's anguished cries, felt his own silent scream.
Kingsley rose unsteadily to his feet, his own weight seemingly too much. Mad-Eye continued to tend to Tonks as Kingsley lurched towards them, glancing momentarily where the Death Eaters were restrained.
'Neville...' Remus said weakly. 'The others...take me to them.'
Neville looked at him sorrowfully, seeming to work out that Harry was not the only friend of Sirius in that room.
'Dubbledore,' he said. 'Dubbledore-'
'Episkey,' Remus muttered, pointing his wand towards the boy's nose.
'Thank you,' said Neville. He wriggled his nose for good measure. 'Dumbledore went after him, he's in the best company.'
Remus smiled weakly at the blatant tip-toeing around the subject. Neville was not quite as unintelligent as his peers believed him to be; he knew that it was not Harry's departure that had affected him so.
'Let's go find the others.'
'Perfect timing,' said the healer who pointed him towards a bed concealed by curtains. 'She's been awake not ten minutes.'
Questions regarding her condition fell from intent as he took in the pleasant tone of the healer's voice; if she was indeed awake and that was all the witch saw fit to tell him then she could not have been so badly injured after all.
Remus trod carefully around the other beds, their inhabitants slumbering almost stubbornly.
She was pretending to be asleep when he slipped inside the curtains, half-opened one eye wearily to check the identity of the intruder.
'Oh thank goodness,' Tonks said, breathing a sigh of relief. 'Should have known those footsteps were too quiet to be Mad-Eye's. Not really in the mood to speak to him yet.'
Remus smiled as he carefully took a seat on the edge of her bed, trying not to notice the bruising on her arms.
'How are you feeling?'
'Better now you're here,' she said. And he looked away, pretending her words had missed him. Seeing this, she sighed sadly and shifted her position on the bed. 'They should be letting me out in a day or two. Just wanted to keep an eye on me. To be honest, I'm glad to be in here and away from the Ministry at the moment. Healer said something about chaos and anarchy...said they saw him...'
'They did.'
A semi-triumphant smile twisted her lips, but faded in the next moment.
'What happened? I was out cold, missed half the battle. Healer said they'd rounded up a load of Death Eaters...said someone had been killed.'
Remus faltered for a moment, and it was enough to betray the side on which the death had been.
'Who, Remus? Who was it?'
His voice caught horribly in his throat. He couldn't say it, couldn't speak his name. Then it would be final, then it would be true and he'd have to admit to himself that he was really gone.
And then he felt her hand on his, felt the comfort and strength that she offered him, even in her weakened state. And every reason why he had fallen for her flooded back to him. She truly was wonderful.
'Sirius.'
Remus watched the colour drain from her face, from her hair too. It grew limp and lifeless, a dull white against the blue pillow. Pain flickered behind her eyes. He was her cousin, after all. They may not have spent all that much time together, but they had started to get to know one another, had talked about a small family reunion when circumstances permitted it.
'How...how did it happen?' It felt that she did not want to know, but had forced her self, out of necessity, to ask.
'Bellatrix.' The name sent fury through his veins. First, she had injured Tonks, and then she had... 'The veil, he was standing right next to it and...'
What were the last words he had said to him? He couldn't even remember. He recalled Snape's message, recalled his demand for Sirius to remain behind and wait for Dumbledore. Sirius, of course, had not stood for that. Someone he loved was in danger, nothing short of death would have kept him from joining them. Remus had known that. He had also known that if Voldemort had planted such a memory in Harry's mind then he too knew of the connection between godfather and godson.
He recalled the house elf cackling suspiciously, recalled the others' futile attempts to persuade Sirius to remain. He remembered reassuring him that Harry could take care of himself, though it was not enough to drive the worry from his heart. They had ran through the corridors of the Ministry, had-
It came to him.
'It'll be okay, Sirius.'
His last words to his friend had been a lie.
A hand slid along his back, another wrapping around him, pinning his arms to his sides. Tonks had moved, and with her came a wave of warmth that broke the last of his barriers.
He moved an arm to return the embrace, but found that his limbs had grown rather weak.
Tonks seemed not to know what to say, and so remained quiet, holding him as though his life depended on it. In many ways, maybe it did. Because something about her touch chased the pain away and soothed the aching parts of him. It did not make anything okay, but it sure made it a little more bearable.
In that moment, he knew he had lost. His heart was filled with love; love for the friends he had lost, and for the woman that was there for him as the last star faded.
They had always expected Dumbledore to be around. Now that his body lay in waiting, nobody seemed to know what to do or what to expect. It was a major blow to the resistance, and a major blow to them. How long before Voldemort made his move, before he stepped out into the open and declared full-on war?
Remus straightened his robes - the one set he had with barely any signs of visible wear.
If Dumbledore had not been so kind to him, not looked past the wolf and saw the man...where would he be now? He would not have graduated from Hogwarts, would not have met his friends, would not have had a well-paying job for one year and been able to save enough that the last two were not lived in abject poverty.
He had found an old cottage not far from Hogsmeade, isolated and quiet. It served its purpose, now that he was no longer to call Number 12 Grimmauld Place home when not away on Order business, but he could not afford to stay there for long. Life amongst the pack he had been hiding in had become too dangerous - with Dumbledore gone and Ministry regulations tighter than ever, it was only a matter of time before they joined with Greyback.
There was a knock at the door and he called to allow entrance to the visitor. A little reckless, perhaps, but he was beyond caring.
'Kingsley said I'd find you here.'
He turned at the sound of her voice, a dull longing in his chest. Tonks had never looked so out of his league in her best robes, a smile shining through her grief.
'I'd have thought you'd be there by now,' Remus said. Tonks shrugged.
'I was worried about you.'
'I'm probably the last person in the world you need to be worrying about.'
'Are we really going to have this conversation again?'
He didn't know what else to say, and she didn't push the matter.
'Come here,' Tonks said. She took a step forward and tugged at the front of his robes before smoothing them over his shoulders. 'There, that's better.'
The silence that fell between them was awkward, so much remaining to be said but neither brave enough to touch upon it.
'I'm not ready to bury someone else,' Remus said at last, voice quiet enough that he wondered if she heard it at all.
There had been no body when Sirius had died, no closure. There had been a memorial service of sorts - a gathering of friends to solemnly acknowledge that a life had been lost and they were hurting for it. If there had been a body, would it have been easier? He almost laughed at the thought. They had buried Lily and James and there had certainly not been anything easy about that.
'This is war,' Tonks said quietly. 'We bury our dead and then we avenge them.'
Her point did not go amiss. They owed it to Dumbledore to push on, to never give up. He had saved Harry that night in the Department of Mysteries, had ensured that Sirius's death had not been in vain...they owed it to him to ensure that his own was not either.
'How long do we have?'
'Quite a while,' Tonks said. 'Half an hour at least before we need to apparate. Want me to make some tea?'
His hands had found her waist, and she did not seem to mind. What he really, truly wanted from her... Remus sighed. It was cruel that he should fall so deeply in love when he had so little to give.
Her hands had not moved from his collar, did not seem to want to move at all.
'You don't have to go through this alone,' Tonks said softly. 'Let me in.'
Let her in?
'You don't know-'
'I know perfectly well what I am getting myself into, thank you very much,' she said, almost angrily. 'You need to stop with this self-pitying. You deserve to be loved just as much as the next person. Even more so, since you seem to lack the ability to love yourself. I am not 'the rest of society' - I don't care who or what you are. I love you, Remus Lupin, and nothing you say or do will ever change that!'
Her hands moved from his shoulders to his cheeks and her thumb gently traced the line of a lingering scar. Reservation held him back, but the feeling inside of him pushed him forward, told him that it was a risk worth taking. Because he was stupid to resist. Happiness he had always wanted yet never believed that he would feel...it was here, with her. She was willing to love him, to accept him for what he was...if only he would let her.
A gasp of surprise escaped her throat as his lips found hers, hands pulling her waist to his. She folded into his arms willingly, fingers finding his hair, tongue finding his. A warmth filled him like never before, and he found that he could not get enough of her; the way she tasted, the way she felt.
When they parted (with great reluctance on both sides), they stood in silence, forehead to forehead, noses touching, barely able to catch their breath. The world continued to spin, colours melting together. In that moment, all he felt was her, with him.
And that was enough.
'You're going to kill me? After I saved your life? You owe me, Wormtail!'
Lily was shaking, and there was a terrifying anger in James's eyes.
'We'll never join him,' he said, voice trembling. 'It's insulting that he thinks he can persuade us.'
Two weeks later, Sirius limped into a meeting, bloody and bruised, and laughing his head off. He assured them that the Death Eaters who had extended the offer to him had come off much worse for wear. But still, the others had fawned over him, ushered him into a spare room and treated the wounds he shrugged off so casually.
They came for Lily and James again, and again...they never bothered a second time with Sirius. And after the third time with the Potters, when James had defended his pregnant wife with a manic determination reminiscent of the Black on their side, they did not bother again with them either.
And then...they came for him. Wormtail.
So many had died, he knew that he was just waiting for his turn. They were powerful, would have killed him had he refused. And so, he accepted their protection. For a year he passed information to them, though the Order caught on fast. They began to restrict the exchanging of notes, so to speak, and soon all he could offer was vague snippets. But it was enough to ingratiate him, to invite the imprintation of the Dark Mark upon his arm.
Every time their secrets spilled from his mouth, the guilt became a little easier to bear, until betrayal came second nature to him.
And then, in July of 1981...the McKinnons were wiped out. Not a single member of the family remained.
He struggled for a while, avoided meetings, avoided his fellow Death Eaters. They became angry, demanded more. They wanted to know where Lily and James were, but he held out, said they didn't tell him when they moved. It was only ever the Death Eaters to whom he passed on information, he was never worth the attention of the Dark Lord himself.
Until...
It was autumn when Sirius approached him, told him that he thought it was a better idea if he would be the Secret Keeper for the Fidelius charm. And it was autumn still when the charm was performed...and barely a week later, he met with the Death Eaters again. But this time...he was there.
'James Potter trusts Sirius Black like no other, my Lord,' said Bellatrix, a grim expression of glee upon her face. 'If they have performed this magic, it will not be Dumbledore who holds the secret, it will be Sirius.'
'Then you will bring Sirius Black to me,' said Voldemort.
'My-My Lord,' stuttered Wormtail. 'T-The charm is so designed that the secret c-cannot be tortured out of the Secret Keeper. He must relinquish the information of his own free will. S-Sirius loves James like a brother. He won't betray them.'
'Black will speak,' said Voldemort. Bellatrix flinched at the use of her family name. Even after all these years, it still pained her to acknowledge relation to her younger cousin. 'Pain unlike that which he has ever experienced awaits him...and if he still will not speak, he will die.'
The red eyes met his, and unspeakable fear fell upon him. Bellatrix laughed, pleaded to be allowed to interrogate and execute Sirius herself. But Wormtail cowered in his own thoughts. James had explained what Dumbledore had told them...that if the secret keeper died, those to whom the secret had been divulged would become secret keepers. Voldemort did not know that it was he and not Sirius who fulfilled that role currently, but if Sirius died and he found out that Wormtail had been told...
'M-my Lord,' spoke Wormtail in a quivering voice. 'Sirius Black is not the secret keeper.' Bellatrix made a derisive noise, but Voldemort held up his hand, waited for him to continue speaking. 'S-Sirius thought it too obvious, told the Potters to choose someone else.'
'Who is it, Wormtail?' Voldemort demanded impatiently. 'Speak.'
'M-me.'
Silence fell, before an icy demand drew the location from him. Even as the words fell from his lips, he felt nothing. They'd have died to protect him. And that is exactly what they would do.
Wormtail looked up into the almond-shaped eyes, and remembered the last time he had gazed into their ancestor's. She had looked at him with concern, hoping that he would be safe. And he had seen them again, not a week later, empty and stone-like, barely knowing that the life had been stolen from them.
They had given him so much, all of them. Who was he, after all? He was a nobody and he would have been nothing without them. And there they laid, dead because of his words, because of his fear and lack of courage. The only people who had ever treated him like a human being, who had trusted him implicitly.
And now he was about to kill their son.
His grip slackened on the boy's throat and he pulled away. Mercy his parents had never been offered. Mercy that struck fear into the heart of the cowardly man.
There was barely time to contemplate the regret, and the guilt of many years that came crashing back. The silver hand turned on him, grasped at his own throat. He struggled with it, and Harry did too. But it knew of his weakness.
The world turned to stars, glistening around. Light flooded his senses as pain constricted his airways, hands that both were and were not his own scrabbling at the silver instrument. Then, finally, Wormtail succumbed to his fate.
Remus gazed down at the infant in the crib, stroking a rosy cheek with the back of his fingers. He slept so peacefully, unaware of the state of the world he had been born into. His hair had changed yet again, mimicking his father's shade perfectly, minus the grey. The first full moon since his birth had passed and there was no sign of lycanthropy. Edward Remus Lupin truly was a miracle child.
Soft footsteps brought a weight to his chest and he stubbornly refused to turn.
'You're going, aren't you?' Tonks asked.
'I have to.'
She nodded when he glanced over to her, determined expression set upon her face.
'I'll get our cloaks.'
'No.'
She stopped, half-turned when his voice rooted her to the spot. Her shoulders sank in a sadness that almost persuaded him to stay.
'This isn't a matter of obligation,' Tonks said, turning back to face him. 'We chose this.'
'We chose family too,' Remus reminded her. He withdrew his hand from the crib and walked over to her. 'I would feel better knowing that you are safe.'
'And I would feel better fighting at your side!' She was determined, stood her ground in an astonishing display of bravery.
'This stopped being just about good and evil the moment Teddy was born,' Remus countered. 'This will be the battle that ends the war, whoever the victor. I swore that I would do everything within my power to protect both of you. Right now, that means insisting that you stay here and take care of Teddy.'
'But-'
'If we lose, children like him will be hunted. It's not just muggle blood that runs in his veins, remember? If we lose...he will need his mother to protect him.'
'He will need his father too.' Her expression changed, voice faltering. Then she pulled him into a tearful embrace, found his lips in a moment of desperation. 'There is no point in arguing with you, is there?'
Remus shook his head slowly, and more tears fell from her eyes.
'Then go,' Tonks said. 'Make us both proud.'
With trembling hands he pulled her into him, kissed her as though the chance would never come again. Now that the world could be nearing its end, he wondered why he had wasted so much time. They were at war, any day could be their last. Yet he had worried about a future that hinged upon one night...this night.
'I love you, Dora,' he told her. Her smile brimmed with happiness that defied her tears.
'I love you too. And I have faith in you.'
It was light, and the ground was soft. Was the battle over? Dawn appeared to have broken, and the sun seemed to fill the entire sky, bathing the forest in a brilliant white light.
The aches within his limbs had alleviated, and his wand was nowhere to be seen. There were no robes clothing his body and panic settled in. Had he transformed? It would explain why he was so far from the castle (not to mention so obviously naked). But it was not a full moon night. Had Voldemort developed some power to force a transformation? Had something happened?
The last thing he remembered was duelling Dolohov, and thinking that he was not moving fast enough. He was too out of touch with fighting. A curse had hit him in the chest, had knocked him clean out.
There were robes hanging from a nearby branch, cleaner and newer than he was used to. He slipped into them hastily. Anything for a little comfort.
No sounds hung upon the air, no distant battle raging. Perhaps it was all over.
'He hasn't twigged yet, has he?'
'Shush, he'll hear us!'
'Well someone's going to have to tell him - want to place bets on who that's going to be?'
'Was I that bewildered when I came through?'
'You looked no more stupid than normal.'
Whispered voices drifted from the light behind him. They were familiar, even in their hushed incarnation.
'Hello?' he said.
'I can't believe he's here...' A new, feminine voice joined the whispers and, slowly, three figures appeared from behind the trunk of a nearby tree. Yes, he knew those voices, knew those faces.
'Hello, Moony,' said Sirius, a sad grimace upon his youthful face. He looked not a day over twenty-two, as though the last fourteen years of his life and the stress that had come with them had not happened at all.
Beside him stood James, as youthful as his memory, and onto his arm clung Lily, as beautiful as always.
He breathed their names, realisation just out of reach.
'I don't understand,' he said. 'What- What are you doing here?'
They looked to one another, as though attempting to silently delegate an unpleasant task.
'I think a more appropriate question would be what are you doing here,' said James.
'Dolohov,' said Sirius.
'Remus, I'm so sorry,' said Lily.
Suddenly, it was obvious. That curse hadn't knocked him out.
Grief swept over him. He would never see his wife again, would not watch his son grow up.
'Teddy's alright,' said Lily. 'And he will be alright.'
'Congratulations, by the way,' James said with a smile.
Sirius walked over to him and clapped a hand on his shoulder.
'He's a good-looking kid,' he said. 'Good job he takes after his mother.'
'Doesn't that mean you two are cousins now?' James twisted his face in thought.
'So it does!' Sirius's youthful face darkened a little despite a brief moment of joy. 'Really wish there'd been a few more decades before we realised that.'
Remus was empty and lost for words. So many questions, and he did not think that there was an adequate answer for any.
'It's time to move on,' Lily said as she and James slowly made their way over to him. 'You know there's no going back.'
For the briefest of moments, joy flushed through his veins. He knew now what this place was - it was a resting station, so to speak, taking on the form of a place of high significance. And he knew why his soul had chosen this forest to make it's final decision. It was this forest he had wandered so many full moon nights with his friends. Even now, they remained some of the best days of his life.
'It's not so bad,' Sirius said with an encouraging smile. 'It's not life, but it's equally as wonderful.'
'And you'll be able to see Teddy again,' Lily said. 'We've watched over Harry all these years. We've watched over you, too.'
Slowly, carefully, he nodded. He was not afraid of death, though he did not appreciate the irony that his own should come when he had something to lose. All those years alone and cursed...it was not until a son had his father to lose, and a wife her husband...
There were footsteps in the distance, breaking twigs on the forest floor.
He wanted to tell the others how good it was to see them, but he could tell that they knew. Their deaths had never truly left him, least of all Sirius's, witnessed first-hand and still so fresh in his mind.
He looked up into the grey eyes of the man in question, but he stared over Remus's shoulder with a look of devastation upon his face.
Remus turned, and the pain of what he saw trumped dying.
'Remus?' Tonks's voice was soft and sad, and she seemed unable to move. 'No...no...'
Awareness of how different he must appear if Sirius had shed so many years, he raised a hand to his mouth.
'Dora...' he whispered. 'No, you...'
Tonks ran forwards and flung herself into his arms, crying on his shoulder before he was truly aware that she was there. She felt as solid as she ever had, looked just the same as the moment he had left her.
'I couldn't stay and do nothing,' she wept. 'I couldn't...'
He held her, painfully, desperately. He was dead and...and so was she.
'You shouldn't have come,' he said, though the words seemed hollow now. 'Teddy...'
'He's with mum. He's safe.'
They were lost in the moment, grieving for the loss of one another yet at the same time finding comfort in the arms of the deceased.
'I'm not liking this,' Sirius said, his voice shaking. 'I'm not liking this one bit.'
Tonks turned in his arms, pulled back enough to see the others, as though their presence had gone unnoticed.
'Sirius?'
'Hey, Tonks,' said Sirius, attempting a half-hearted wave.
'Let's hope no more are coming through,' James said.
Tonks looked to Remus and he smiled, forgetting in that moment just what this meant for them and selfishly revelling in the surprising warmth of her embrace.
'We should go,' Lily suggested.
'Where are we going?' Tonks asked. Her fingers gripped Remus's arms rather tightly.
'On,' said James.
Tonks nodded too, though she did not relinquish her grip. Remus wanted to ask how she died, to know who to blame for the young life that had been stolen. But it hardly seemed appropriate, and he wasn't sure that he cared at all. She shouldn't have been here either way. She should have died old in her sleep, surrounded by Teddy and their grandchildren. It wasn't fair that she should be here with him.
But she was. And it was hand in hand that they walked towards the light, following the others.
They had known their story must end one day, all of them. Remus wondered if they should have known that they would all die young. Yet here they were, together at last. Their story had come full-circle. In the face of tragedy, they had all been faithful to the end.
~fin~
