Chapter Title: Of Dreams and Torment

Author: Merrianna

Story: Christmas Sorrows: 02 of 03

Series: SpeedBurn: 03

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Feather light caresses enticed Stella, to semi-wakefulness. She whimpered at the fleeting touches by calloused hands, left her wanting more. A low rumble that resembled a purr vibrated across her bare abdomen, which was followed by a warm moist kiss that began to travel upward pushing the fabric of her shirt up. The firm pressure of lips and tongue on her heated flesh had her gasping in pleasure. In reflex Stella reached for the cause of her euphoric state, thrusting her fingers into soft wavy hair.

Stella's green-eyes fluttered open, only to close once again with a blissful moan as the man's skilled mouth placed wet kisses, on her left breast, through her lace bra. She arched up unconsciously seeking a firmer contact with the male body which hovered above her own.

She was reward when the man settled between her thighs, pressing his hard and unyielding desire against her clothed center. Stella exhaled a groan of aching need for more, she shifted her long legs further apart then wrapped them around her mystery lover, bring them into closer union.

Her dream lover's low rumble of appreciation pulsated through his mouth all the while still working on the now wet white lace encased flesh. His tongue and teeth continued to brush and nip the confined tender skin arousing another passion-filled gasp of pleasure from her.

"Um... take it off." Stella demanded on a drawn out moan. Normally she would have done it herself but her hands were already busy trying to find the edge of the man's shirt so she could run her hands over his hard muscled body. Just as she thought she would go insane over his ministration on her left breast he disengaged from it, his heated breath wafted over the veiled swollen mound which strained against the now translucent lace. When he didn't move for a few seconds, Stella briefly thought that her demand would be met, but instead of removing her shirt and bra he dropped more open mouth kiss across, the small piece of material that held the flimsy clothing together, for the opposite un-as-yet touched mound.

A whimper of pleasure and annoyance burst forth from Stella as he dealt her right breast the same unrelenting treatment as the left. Uncontrollably one of her hands tangled once again into the wavy locks urging him on completely abandoning her previous thoughts about having the clothing taken out of the equation.

Where his hands had only been delightfully tracing light trails up and down her bare sides and across her stomach and abdomen. The right one suddenly seemed to get a mind of its own as it grew firmer and proceeded to travel up the left side of her body pausing to graze at the laced covered side of her breast then away before finally returning and with expert precision he undid the front clasp then proceed to engulfing the soft mound fully. The artful appendage began massage the soft curvature with the palm then easing back to pluck at the already aroused bud. The process kept in time with his lips and teeth that were endeavoring to surpass the physical response that was earlier expressed by her. Stella wasn't in the least displeased with the attention that the man was lavishing on her. She quivered with desire in tuned with her body as it was screaming for another assault to her senses. She didn't have long to wait; she had been so focused on three areas of her body that were being cleverly manipulated, that she'd forgotten her companion's other hand. A distracting tug at her lower abdomen sent a different but accelerating electric through her system. Her eyelids flicker but remained closed as she reveled in every sensation that came only from the sound and touch of her lover.

Stella groaned her approval as the clever calloused fingers were the first to skirt below the tight waistband of her slacks. They brushed lightly at the still cover flesh beneath, which trembled with anticipation for additional pressure and exposure. Her body got what it desired after several minutes of teasing and Stella's own attempted at making him do what she wanted. Instead of getting what she craved he held back leaving the area to once again tantalize her sides, the flat of her stomach and the indention of her navel. He made sure to taunt her with light strokes before evade the area for another part of her body. A few times he went so far up that he cupped the underside of breast that he was tormenting with his mouth. It seemed to Stella that her lover was striving to make her beg for him by tantalizing her with his teasing mouth and hands.

After several more agonizing minutes, Stella couldn't take anymore her whole body was in desperate need of release that she was positive that only the man, she'd yet to look at, could unleash. The prideful detective bit her lip to keep from screaming even as she swore in practice Greek. Undone by the building hunger that her seducer had generated Stella began to beg. "Please... I need... uhn... I need you now. Please."

"All you needed to do was ask." the low raspy murmur tickled across her ultra sensitive breast making the peak ache with the neglect.

With those words the flirting hand moved caressing down playing briefly with the waistband of her trouser before without preamble plunging straight to her body's pulsing apex. Nimble fingers circumvent the material to get to the heated interior beneath. The long callused digits stroked lightly over her for only a few seconds then quickly ventured further causing Stella's body shudder on its first orgasm as he pushed against her sensitive core.

She writhed under the onslaught that was now being waged on her body. Her whole being continued to convulse with each new encounter of the mystery man's hands and mouth. He seemed to take great delight to see how many times she went over the peak to be brought there again... an again. Eventually, he'd had enough of the foreplay wanting to join his partner in the throes of the utter consumption of body and souls.

In a desperate eagerness clothes were impatiently pushed haphazardly open and aside with an urgency that came from the mounting desire to be physical joined. Stella's shirt and bra quickly disappeared leaving, the tall brunette trembling, and nude from the waist up. Instinctively, she felt her lover's eyes devouring her exposed flesh. She unashamedly stretched the sound of a quick indrawn breath followed by a shake expulsion sent a wave of ecstasy through the curly-haired woman. She became instantly aware of his return that seemed if possible more enthusiastic, peppering kisses closed and open mouthed from her neck down to her collar bone continuing to her breasts stopping to pay homage briefly before skimming further downward brushing heated lips along the barrier comprised of her pants before lowering them down. Stella franticly gripped onto her lover's hair tugging him back up for a searing kiss dragging his sweat soaked t-shirt off disengaging momentarily to do so. Her hands glided over harden muscle until it came at last to the last barrier with unaccustomed clumsiness the fevered woman unfasten and pushed away last obstacle.

As their bodies moved as one, his harden flesh fitting perfectly into her own soft conforming one. The pronounced rush of feelings of completeness and being home overcame Stella. It was then that she finally lifted heavy eyelids so to look upon her ethereal companion.

Even through the blissful buzz that comprised most of the brunette's thoughts, one stray strand forced its way into the for-front. That Mac... her friend's widow and her own best friend was the one she had been deriving such extreme pleasure from. It both seemed right and wrong at the same time: right because she'd never felt so good before accept once and he'd married some else but it was wrong he... they had just lost Claire only three and half months earlier. Like any catholic raised girl guilt edged into the pulsing need and passion of the moment.

"Mac! Mac, we need to stop." even as she said the words another wave of overpowering pleasure raced through her. Instead of him stopping he moved faster and started kissing her neck up to her mouth plundering it making her lose all sense of reason and nagging guilt. Stella threw away caution immersing herself in being with the one man who she knew in other circumstance would never be hers.

Stella moaned as their bodies pressed and moved as one. They fit so perfectly from the legs up, there was none of the awkwardness that she normally felt with the first time. As their bodies moved rhythmically towards the ultimate goal. Hands were grasping and caressing not letting the other go for a minute. The sound of passion-filled breathes were stilled when lips met and angled for deeper demanded only to be heard again when the need for air had them separating.

When Mac released inside of her, to cement home that truth of her previous worries, instead of her name coming from his lips. The low rumbling voice had called for a dead woman. Stella reached the same earth shattering peak moaning out her partners name even as her heart was breaking.

"Claire." The dark haired man repeated as he drifted off to sleep. Unaware of the pain he was inflicting on someone he had also grown to care very much about.

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Stella stifled the sad and anger shout that wanted to erupt as she pushed and pulled to get out from beneath her partner. After several minutes she finally managed to escape from under Mac. Stella hurriedly made her way to the bathroom. Once, there she let herself collapse into a heap on the floor. Tears were silently streaming down her face as she mental tried to get hold of herself.

The first sound to emerge was a slight hysterical laugh as she finally stood to start the water in the shower running. It was just then that she realized that in their rush she and Mac hadn't completely removed their clothes. Her work pants were just above her knees and she continued to laugh since she hadn't noticed it even as she fled her bed leaving her partner sleeping. The image that presented brought on another bout of crying this not so quiet. She quickly got into the shower not care what the waters temperature maybe.

Stella shuddered under the barrage of hot water cascading down on her which masked the sobs that were wrenched from the depths of her heart. Her body still pulsed with satisfaction but her mind was weighed down with the knowledge that she wasn't the real recipient of Mac Taylor's amorous desire. She repeatedly slapped her open hand against the wall berating her self for disregarding the possible consequences and just letting her self get carried away with how the man she'd known and cared for had made her feel.

Stella, couldn't deny that she'd enjoyed it what wasn't to enjoy. The fact that it shouldn't have happened or that she half-regretted that it would never again. 'You're going to burn in hell.'

The water eventually turned cold, shivering Stella turned off the spigot grabbing on of the fluffy towels she began to dry off. Grabbing the terry cloth robe on the back of the bathroom door Stella wrapped herself in its familiar warmth. The green-eyed woman glanced once into the mirror but quickly looked away. She wasn't up to meeting her own eyes just yet. The momentary glimpse made her lean against the wall sliding down to sit on the floor.

She'd been sad and glowing at the same time. "Stupid, Stella." She had so many emotions going through her: ones of anger, self loathing, shame, and guilt where those that she had aimed at herself.

Stella was sure that Mac wouldn't remember anything in the morning. It wasn't the first time she'd seen him drunk there had been the fourth of July party that Claire... Claire. Stella's chest tightened with grief and guilt. What the hell was she thinking a snort of derision filled the room, 'I wasn't thinking it was all hormones and lust.' That wasn't entirely true she was in love with her partner, best friend, boss and dead friend's husband. An unreasonably it hurt that it was Claire's name that Mac Taylor cried out to at such a moment. Her mind and heart fought over whether to be forgiving. Stella was noticeably not Claire Conrad Taylor their hair though both dark brown Claire's had been less curly than hers. Their eyes weren't even the same color hers were a light green while Claire's had been a lively blue. Their body types were very different Claire's being that of a runner where as hers was of a former dancer. Their voices were distantly not the same Claire's revealing her time spent in Chicago where as her own was an odd accent of New York and self taught Greek and Italian.

In the end she didn't have it in her to be mad at Mac. He had been drunk and being use to waking near a warm female body must have stirred a need to be loved.

Stella Bonasera could have stopped the entire thing. She hadn't been that far gone that she couldn't have done something to get out of the position they'd been in. She was a New York cop and a girl from the orphanage there were ways of getting out any kind situation. The fact was that she hadn't really wanted to until the end when he'd called for his dead wife. Forgiving wasn't one of her strong suits but was it Mac or herself. At that moment she didn't want to try and figure it out. The morning was soon enough to find out if Mac Taylor would remember or if he would be blissfully ignorant of the activities of the previous night.

Getting up from the floor Stella tightened the robe further before going out to find some clothes to change into. From her bed the curly haired woman could hear the snores of the man who she'd promised to take care of. Ignore the feelings that were bubbling inside to go and doing damage to the her unsuspecting partner Stella grabbed sweats from one of the drawers and hurried back to the bathroom.

She would have stayed the rest of the night in the bathroom but for the fact that Mac would wonder what was wrong. Stella slowly got dressed and slipped back out to the couch from her vantage she could make out Mac form as he slept on. It was probably the most sleep he'd seen in months. Sighing softly a tiny smile curved on her lips and vanished quicker than it appeared. She got up, walking quietly over to him she placed a chaste kiss on his cheek then pulled the comforter over his shoulders so he wouldn't get cold.

Stella went back to the couch and settled down there with a spare pillow and afghan. She gazed over where the most important man in her life slept. Eventually, her eyes drifted shut into a dreamless sleep.

Continued in Chapter Three: The Well Being of All