3

Give him.

Give him back.

Give him back to me.


I'm running. Across the ground of a thick, dense, dark forest. Cloaked in leaves so plentiful there's no sun. Not even a ray can get through. It's so dark. I'm wearing my uniform, my scarf, can feel my maneuvering device. But I'm barefoot. The leaves and stones and fallen branches stab into the soles of my feet. They became raw and red as I dart among the trees, feel the dew dripping down on me, and keep running. My breathing is hoarse and there's almost no air to breathe. My stomach hurts—so crippling that I crouch over as I run. When I open my mouth I vomit. My knees buckle with each step and I bump into the trees and they laugh at me while I run. Seeing nothing but their silhouettes and accompanied by nobody but my invisible shadows. They bring their branches down to scratch my face and my arms and my chest while I run. Trying to stop me, to slow me down. But I can't stop. I just keep running.

There is a sound in the back of my head that's making me run.

Keep running.

It's a scream. A loud, primal scream that shakes the very earth upon which I stand. It reverberates among the trees, echoes in my mind, makes me cringe and bare my teeth and feel pain from the sound because it makes my bones rattle. I jump into the air and activate my maneuvering device. It latches onto those taunting trees and I start swinging. Tree to tree, flipping through the air. But I'm not light and swift. I feel so heavy. Each turn feels like a break in my spine. When my device cuts into a tree and pulls me, my neck arches back and my eyes go wide and my joints cry out. I can't breathe anymore because it hurts the bones of my ribcage. The blood from my feet drips down onto the forest floor as I rush through the forest. Tree to tree to tree, up and up, swing swing swing. That scream pushing me forward.

I send my maneuvering device to a tree, but I miss. I fly forward and tumble down to the forest floor, but do not scream. I cannot let his scream die out. I fall and fall, until my chest hits the ground and I feel my jawbone crumble. There is no breath left within me, and my brain seeps out from my deafened ears, and I feel I must never move again. But I know that I must. I stand up and activate my maneuvering device and keep going through the forest, toward that scream. I have to keep running.

Run.

The scream is getting louder.

Run!

I swing to one more tree and now the scream are right there.

RUN!

That monster is there. His monster. It is up against a tree, its arms stretched out and its face upturned. It has opened its ugly mouth, filled with the pointed teeth. It is screaming. And there, pinning his monster to the tree, is another monster. A female monster with blonde hair and familiar blue eyes. She has opened her mouth and is coming closer to his monster. I open my mouth to scream for her to stop, to scream his name, to scream anything. But I have nothing left inside me. I swing into a tree but my maneuvering device gets tangled and I am stuck, my legs bent out of shape, dangling upside down and watching. His green (or blue?) eyes flash and she bites into his head and the scream dies out while I dangle silently and say, Give him back to me.


Give him.

Give him back.

Give him back to me.


I open my eyes. It was a single blink. Those images flood away as I close my eyes and open them again, realizing my dream was but a single moment. I am in my uniform, wearing my red scarf and boots, and am hanging from a tree with my maneuvering devices. I am in the same dark, dense forest, with no light and the laughing trees. And there in front of me, he stares. Blankly, up, down, straight. I'm not sure. I can only sit and stare at him. Just as blankly. His eyes are so wide, so dead. And she is there, with her muscles rippling and her matted blonde hair reeking of death. Her mouth is open and she's leaning down, down, to where he sits stuck in that monster body. Staring. I scream, NO, NO YOU CAN'T. She eats him. I ask her to give him back. I tell her that she can't have him.

GIVE HIM BACK TO ME!


Give him back to me.

Give Eren back to me.


I open my eyes again. I blink a few times and see a window, and sunlight rushing through it. I am sitting in a chair, leaning forward against a bed. My hair has been flattened to my face on one side, and I feel drool on the corner of my mouth. But I don't move. I'm wearing a white shirt and black pants—not my uniform. But I'm wearing the red scarf.

Always the red scarf.

I blink again and remember where I am. In the capital. The destroyed city. Destruction unprecedented. There is nobody else around. But then I move my fingers and I feel them wrapped around something. It is warm and inviting and familiar, makes me so happy. I squeeze it harder. Then I look up and see that it's his hand. He is sleeping in the bed, so very peaceful. His body rising and falling with his even breaths. His lips slightly parted, his eyelids fluttering in his slumber. There's that key around his neck, and gauze wrapped around his head. Tears fall from my eyes as I sit up and smile and squeeze his hand harder. With my other hand, I reach up and stroke his bruised cheeks, touch his chapped lips. I wipe the stray pieces of hair from his forehead and his face and pray that he's not having nightmares. Not like the ones I have.

I try not to, but I begin to sob. I'm so frightened. I've seen him taken away from me so many times, screamed Give him back too many times. Failed too many times. I hold his hand in both of mine and bring it up to my lips, and kiss his fingers. My tears flow onto his skin. I kiss them over and over, because I want to remember this. He is alive and he is here and I am alive and I am here. We are together. I bite my lip to hold back the sobs and bend forward, lean my head against his chest. Just like that time. Because I want to hear his heartbeat.

It is there, strong and willful and determined. Just like he is. Then, while I calm down and let the tears flow silently against his chest, I feel something on my fingers. He squeezes my hand back, squeezes ever so slightly. I heave a sigh and listen to his heartbeat.

I tell him that I love him.

I love you.

That if anybody tries to take him away, I will bring him back.

I will bring you back.

Back to this cruel, beautiful world.