N: This update is mainly about one thing. I had some trouble with writing it, but I'm sure it answers some of your questions. Once again, everyone, your reviews mean the world to me, they make me smile when I read them, you're the best.
Any and all mistakes are mine.
With internal protest, I left Lauren standing at the door, thanking her once again for the great time I had with her. She had a look of confusion on her face, making the calm expression she always had disappear. Dyson headed upstairs, and I followed him, knowing he was going to have at it again. A part of me was happy with the fact that I could ride with Lauren, she made it fun and she actually cared about what I was interested in, which was more than I could say about Dyson. It wasn't that we weren't happy together, but deep down inside I knew that he wasn't my forever, something was missing, not just from him, from both our ends. He was an amazing guy, but lately, we hadn't been getting along that well. He was happy to see me when I surprised him because we had been apart for a while, but then we just fell right back to our old ways. And that was not what I wanted, it wasn't what I wanted in a relationship.
I closed the door softly behind me, and stood by it, silently. Dyson was standing at the window, looking out at the yard. His hair was slightly messy and he was breathing heavily. I spoke softly, "Dyson."
He looked back slightly, "I'm not in the mood for another fight."
I frowned, he was making it sound like I started our previous one, "Me neither but it won't help if you don't calm down and talk to me. Avoiding me won't solve anything."
He turned around, "I think I have a good reason to avoid you."
"No, you don't." I said rather loudly, I took a deep breath and tried again, "I have the right to want to follow my dreams as well. Your business is not the only thing that matters in this relationship."
He walked closer to the bed, eyeing me, "But I earn enough to look after both of us, your job in New York is enough income."
He was speaking like we were going to get married soon, and that scared me, "Dyson, I am a young woman, climbing the ranks in my profession, I would like to do better, and chase after a chance to get better when I have it."
He shook his head, "I don't understand you, do you not want this relationship?"
I frowned, moving to stand at my side of the bed, "Of course I do, but you can't pretend like everything is all moonshine and roses."
"What's that supposed to mean?" He said, looking offended.
I pursed my lips together, trying my best to find the right words, "We are completely different people. Yes, we're good together, but we fight almost every single day, about stupid things. How can you be happy with that?"
"Bo, couples fight, it's what happens."
"All the time? Tell me, please, how long have we gone without fighting these last couple of months? You were happy to see me when I got here, but ten minutes into being in my company, you fought with me about something senseless, and the next day you pretended like nothing happened."
"I can't expose our relationship drama to my parents." He said stiffly, crossing his arms.
I frowned at him, "But it's okay to expose it to Lauren? How does that work?"
"She's different."
I rolled my eyes, pinching my nose to try and collect myself. I had no idea how he could stand here in front of me and pretend like he wasn't bothered by our problems, how could he be that naive? I didn't understand him, and it was exactly why I was hesitant to start this relationship. It was like a switch went off in his head because gone was the serious man, he walked over to me and smiled lightly, his hands finding their place on my hips. I kept my arms crossed, not feeling the urge to touch him back. He bent forward and kissed me, softly at first as he waited for me to respond. It took me a while but I did, but I was still not touching him. Dyson moved his hands up and under my shirt, trailing them over my skin in a way that had me feeling uncomfortable, and when he started fiddling with the clasp of my bra, I broke off the kiss.
I stepped away from him, frowning and feeling my blood start to boil as I started shaking my head, "Do you really think sex is going to fix this?"
His mouth fell open, followed by him rolling his eyes, "Well don't you think it's time? We haven't had sex for months now."
I huffed, "And the fact that you don't know why scares me."
"What do you want me to do Bo? I won't change my opinion on you moving to Canada, I want you to stay with me in New York."
"And be happy with never earning a promotion? Always staying in the same post."
He shook his head, walking to the door, he stood there before he left, "I won't change my mind on this, we are perfectly fine as we are." And with that, he left the room, slamming the door on his way out, once again refusing to see my point, it was what he always did, the moment he didn't have answers, he left the situation to sort itself out, and that frustrated me. We were going to fall further into this deep hole if we kept this up.
I let out a huge breath when he was gone, letting my head fall into my hands. It was like he only thought about himself, I knew from the beginning that this relationship wasn't a good idea, and now here I was, in the middle of it where Dyson expected me to make a sacrifice for him, but I wasn't sure I wanted to sacrifice something huge for this relationship, it didn't feel worth it. It had only been seven months, and it wasn't at all like it was supposed to be. He knew this, I knew he did, but he was in denial, which wasn't fair towards me, or himself.
I sighed heavily and entered the bathroom attached to his room. My eyes were a bit watery, and I was flushed. I splashed some water on my face, an attempt to calm myself down. I dabbed my face dry and went back to our room, pulling out my phone to get the time. It was late afternoon, there was no way I could stay in the room to avoid him. So I sprayed on some more perfume and went downstairs in search for some more of that amazing lemonade. The house was quiet, Harold was out doing work, Amelia was at the country club and Dyson just went who knows where. I poured myself a glass and sipped slowly. A thousand things were running through my mind, making me wonder why I was here and if it was even worth staying. Maybe it was best if I just left, maybe some more space would do us good. My grandmother always told me that if I had to second guess my feelings for someone, they probably weren't the one, which was why I was in such a flat spin over everything. I wasn't even sure if Dyson wanted me to stay, I honestly didn't have the answers anymore.
That's when the image of Lauren popped into my head and a wonderful image at that. To me, she just seemed like she had it all figured out. I knew that was not the case, but she had this calm vibe hanging around her that made it look like she wasn't fighting a storm inside that magnificent head of hers. I knew my behaviour had been strange when I was around her these two days, there was just something about her that made me smile all the time and I didn't quite understand it. I looked around me, smiling at the memory of her falling into the kitchen. I still felt bad about it, but she looked absolutely adorable in her pyjamas. Lauren was a huge geek, and I found it appealing. I left the kitchen then and made my way upstairs, debating with myself about what I was about to do. But before I knew it, my feet came to a stop at her door, and my hand went up, knocking three times.
My heart pounded just as hard as my knocking echoed through the hall, making a wave of lethal doubt rip through my body. I was about to turn around, when the door flew open, revealing Lauren in a T-shirt and shorts, her hair was wet and she was drying it with a towel, her expression held and emotion of shock, "Bo, is everything alright?"
I smiled nervously, debating on turning around and running away. Lauren looked breathtaking, "No, I just thought I might take you up on that offer to show me your photos."
Lauren smiled and held her door open. I entered her room and closed the door behind me, watching her walk into the bathroom, "I'll be with you in a second."
"Okay." I said as I looked around her room. She had a bunch of posters on the wall, especially ones of the X-files and travelling. I smiled when I noticed that her desk was strewn with photographs, and books were everywhere around her room. Now I knew that she was definitely a giant geek because her collection of shows and movies was impressive as it took up a whole shelf. I smiled, taking in the warm cosy atmosphere of her room, it was the perfect place for a movie night and some snacks, especially on that massive bed of hers. I frowned at myself when a quick flash of something else happening on that bed popped into my head.
Just then Lauren came out of the bathroom, unknowingly saving me from my thoughts. She ran her hands through her hair while she smiled at me. I swallowed, finding it hard not to glance at her long legs, I was confused, I had no idea why I was so drawn to this woman. Lauren was something else, and I knew something she didn't intentionally reveal to me.
I knew it when she spoke of her camera lover as a 'she'.
"Take a seat, Bo." She said as she went to her bedside table and lifted her laptop off of it. She sat down on her bed and motioned for me to join her. Hesitantly, I did as I was told and sat down next to her on her huge bed, running my hands over her soft grey sheets. Lauren powered up her laptop and went through some files, finally opening one. A bunch of images filled the screen, and she turned to face me, "Okay, so, these are some of the very first photos I ever took. Only a few of them made it onto the walls of the studio, some of them hit too close to home to share them with the rest of the world."
I smiled as her face lit up with excitement while she told me about these photos. She showed me most of them, and I was blown away by the talent she had with a camera. Lauren definitely had an eye for this and I completely understood why she was in photography and not the winery. Her photos were beautiful, I could feel the emotion she captured in them as she told me about it and why certain photos meant a lot to her. Her way of speaking screamed passion, and it had a strange way of filtering through me, making me just as passionate about it as she was. She showed me a few other photos of her time in Japan, Alaska and Italy. She had definitely been to a lot of places to capture their finest qualities. Lauren turned to me, smiling, "You know, there's something I can show you. I haven't really shown it to many people, a blown up version of it hangs in my office at the studio."
I nodded, "Show me, please."
She handed me her laptop, and I watched her skip to her desk, opening a drawer. She pulled out a brown file and walked back over to me, sitting down she slipped it out and held it out to me. My eyes widened when I looked at it, it was a photo of the manor, but it looked different than it did now. You could see that the quality was not that great, but that made the photo just so much better. Lauren adjusted herself on the bed, "This is the very first photo I ever took. My father bought me my first camera when I was in high school, and I was so over the moon excited and I knew that I wanted to use that first bit of memory to capture the beauty of this house, and there it is."
I looked at her, and her eyes were glossy. It warmed my heart to know that she shared this with me, even after knowing me for such a short amount of time. I smiled at her, "This is beautiful Lauren, why is it just hanging in your office?"
She sighed, "I don't know, for some reason I don't want people to see it. Tamsin asked me the same thing."
I nodded, looking at the photo again, "I understand, it's the most precious part of your passion."
"Exactly." She said as she slipped it back into the file, setting it down next to her, "But back then the house was very different, my mother really left her print on it."
"Agreed, she has the taste many decorators can only dream of having."
Lauren giggled, and lifted the laptop off of my lap, her fingers graced my leg as she did, and I tensed for a second, I had jeans on, but it was like the innocent touch sent chills down my spine. She clicked through her files, and I saw her skip the file labelled 'Afghanistan' as fast as she could. And I couldn't help myself, I needed to know more, "So you went to Afghanistan as a war photographer?"
She stilled her movements, and swallowed, "Yes."
Her actions didn't go unnoticed. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so I kept it light, "That's a brave thing to do."
Lauren eyed me, speaking softly, "What do you mean?"
I shifted so I could face her more, "You have your own studio, a home and people who love you. But yet you still went."
She nodded, avoiding my gaze, "I thought it was a good idea at the time yes."
At the time? Did that mean she felt like she made a mistake in going? I wanted to ask more but she stood up abruptly while closing her laptop, and set it down on her desk, "I would love to see some of your photos sometime."
I smiled, letting the subject rest, "Of course, but they're not as good as yours though, most of them are random shots I took while visiting places."
"If you liked them well enough to keep them, I'm sure they're pretty good." She said and sat back down next to me, "Tell me more about your love of nature, where did it start."
I was caught off guard by her strange question, nobody had ever really asked me that, not even Dyson, "It all started with my grandmother. When I was little we used to visit her, and she had this huge bird cage in her backyard full of different birds. It was beautiful, and I always went with her to feed them and she told me all about them. Then before I knew it, I was reading books on different species, upping my knowledge so I could meet her in conversations."
Lauren smiled at me, crossing her legs, "Do you still visit her?"
I shook my head, sighing lightly, "I wish I could, but she moved to heaven a long time ago."
Her smile faded, and a look of regret came across her face, "I'm sorry Bo."
"Don't say sorry, it wasn't your fault she got cancer. I'm sure she's in a better place now. I learned a lot from her in the time I knew her, and that's good enough for me."
Her smile returned, and I realised that I loved the look on her. It was much better than the death stare she issued my way when she fell over my luggage, I found that stare extremely amusing, but I wouldn't tell her that. I just felt so comfortable in her company, like I had known her all my life and I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how she made me feel this calm and relaxed, but all I knew was that I wasn't going to fight it, it was a good feeling. I took the time to look at her, realising that she wasn't wearing any makeup, and she still looked breathtaking. My heart was doing something I didn't give it permission to do, and I was scared that I wouldn't be able to stop it when the time came.
"My parents aren't back yet?" She questioned.
I shook my head, "Nope, and Dyson left."
He pursed her lips, "Well, I could interest you in some pasta and a movie since dinner hasn't been served yet, but I don't know if that's your style."
She looked shy while asking, and I shook my head, "I wouldn't have it any other way."
Lauren nodded, smiling as she got off of her bed, she waited for me at the door, and I got up, following her downstairs. I helped her get everything ready so we could prepare dinner. I learned that Lauren was a great cook and that she could make various difficult meals, once again, I was impressed with her. She knew her way around the kitchen and it was fun to watch her cook. We talked a lot about our childhood while she made the pasta, it was fun learning more about her, she was actually an amusing person with the driest sense of humour that had me laughing out of my stomach. It was great to be around her, and I knew I would be sad when this evening came to an end. I went upstairs for a quick shower so I could change into pyjamas, and came back downstairs with wet hair, smelling and feeling great. Our food was ready when I entered the kitchen, and I watched Lauren as she sprinkled some parsley and cheese on top. I cleared my throat, "Chef Lewis, I believe it's serving time."
She smiled at me and motioned for me to take our wine glasses along with the bottle as she picked up our plates, "Your wish is my command, wouldn't want my best customer to be unsatisfied."
I laughed as we sat down on the leather couch in the living room. Lauren opened the bottle of wine and started pouring us each a glass, "You can pick the movie, the collection is,"
"Under the TV." We said in unison, and Lauren smiled. I got up and scanned through the different films, and knowing that Lauren was a total geek, I pulled out a movie and popped it into the DVD player. I reclaimed my seat next to her and picked up my plate, setting it down on my lap. She held out a glass of wine to me and I took it happily, loving the sweet taste it had and how normal this situation felt. Lauren set her glass down, "What did you choose?"
I shrugged, "Just some sci-fi movie I found."
She eyed me and pressed play, and the moment the movie started she knew exactly what it was, her eyes widened, "The Fifth Element is a classic, I'm impressed."
I closed my eyes when the flavours of the pasta she had made graced my taste buds, it was the best I had ever tasted, "I'm impressed with this pasta."
Lauren smiled and sat back, "Looks like it's a satisfying evening then."
And with that, we dug into our food and watched the movie. Her eyes stayed glued to the screen the whole time, while I didn't know what the hell they were talking about most of the time, Lauren made comments about things they said about technology and I found myself being impressed with her yet again because I had no idea what was going on, but the movie was good all around. It was fun to see Lauren get excited over it.
After the movie was done and we had about two glasses of wine, Lauren faced me, smiling, "You can pick the next one."
I shook my head at her, laughing slightly, "If you're in the mood for a cheesy romance then sure, let me pick."
She raised a brow, "I thought so."
My mouth fell open, "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Oh no, nothing." She said acting coy, "I had a feeling you're the cheesy romantic movie type."
"I can't help it." I said while raising my hands, "I'm a hopeless romantic, and by the looks of it you are too."
Lauren frowned, taking a rather large sip of her wine, "And how do you know that?"
"I have a feeling, I'm sure you know what it's like."
She shook her head at me, "You're evil."
"And yet you're still sitting on the couch with me," I narrowed my eyes at her, "Is it really such a bad thing then?"
"I suppose not." She said.
I smiled at her, and I was about to say something when the front door flew open and shut with a bang. Feet were dragged across the wooden floors and I knew immediately that it was Dyson. I closed my eyes and heard him coming around the corner, he stood there, swallowing loudly, and when I opened my eyes he was leaning against the wall, "You know Bo." He pointed at me and spoke in a slurred way, "I figured it out, I figured it all out actually."
I felt my nerves spike at the fact that Lauren was sitting next to me, and I stood up quickly, lightly grabbing Dyson by his shoulders, "Come on, let's get you to bed."
He stumbled with me as I pulled him off of the wall, and steadied himself on me, I was happy that I had the strength to carry him because he was heavy, more so when he wasn't making an effort to walk by himself. He mumbled things that made no sense as I dragged him upstairs, he reeked of beer and it sickened me. Once I got him through the door, I sat him down on the bed and made work of removing his boots. He was just sitting there, eyes closed as I helped him take his vest off.
"I don't deserve you, Bo." He mumbled, rubbing his eyes.
I frowned and moved up, sitting down next to him, "Dyson, don't say that."
"No it's true, " he started, "You deserve better than a man who can't give you his whole heart, it's not fair."
I leaned back, he wasn't making any sense, "What are you talking about?"
He started laying backwards, and I helped him steady his head on his pillow, "She knows, has for a long time and always will."
I shook my head, watching as he started drifting off, "Who Dyson? I don't understand." My words were wasted because as soon as he closed his eyes, he was out cold, ready to sleep off the alcohol pulsing through his veins. He was going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow, something I wasn't in the mood for because he always acted like a child when he was hungover.
I sighed heavily, and moved downstairs to grab him some meds and some water, he would need it during the night and I would have to wake him up early enough to take the painkillers so they would start working before he started his day. I placed everything on his bedside table, and bent over, placing a soft kiss on his forehead, wondering who he had been talking about. First, we fought, then he disappeared, and then he came back speaking about someone I didn't know the identity of, it was confusing none the less, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to speak to him about it when he was awake and sober.
I went back downstairs, pulling my hair up into a pony. Lauren was still in the living room when I entered, sitting quietly while sipping her wine. I smiled at her and sat back down, "I'm sorry about that."
She shook her head, "Bo, don't apologize. I've seen him drunk far too many times."
I stared at her, she looked beautiful with her hair flowing over her shoulders, brown eyes staring right back at me. I couldn't quite place my finger on how we had gotten so comfortable with each other in the matter of one day because here we were after one movie and a few glasses of wine, and all I knew was that I wanted to know more about Lauren Lewis, as much as I could. I sighed, "I guess I'm going to head upstairs. Let me help you clean up."
"You don't have to do that Bo."
I shook my head, "The sooner it's done the sooner we can get in bed." I frowned at myself, "I mean, go to sleep."
Lauren smiled as she got up and grabbed our plates. I followed with our glasses and the almost empty bottle of wine. She swayed across the floors on her way into the kitchen and I caught the soft smell of strawberries when she threw her hair over her shoulders. I allowed her to place everything neatly in the sink, and I smiled when she turned around, "I guess there won't be a milk date tonight."
Lauren laughed slightly, shaking her head at me, "I think you already have your hands full with a drunk man upstairs, go, I'll finish up here, my parents should be home any minute as well."
I nodded, hovering next to her by the island. I didn't want to go upstairs just yet, but I had to, I needed to make sure that Dyson wasn't nauseous or something, "I'll see you tomorrow morning then."
Her eyes were soft, "Good night Bo."
And with that, I retreated upstairs, with my hand on my chest, frowning at the way it tightened when I walked away from her. It was strange but oddly welcomed. I laid in bed that night, next to a snoring Dyson with someone on my mind that wasn't him. I had only known Lauren for a few days, but I couldn't ignore the fact that I was undoubtedly attracted to her, and that scared me, because I was here with her brother, whose mother thought we would be getting married somewhere in the future, but both Dyson and I knew for a fact we weren't going to work out, and I was afraid this was going to unfold in the worst way possible.
And the only thing that made me relax when I thought about all of this, was the thought that I would be in Lauren's company tomorrow.
I felt someone stir next to me, groaning and mumbling curse words. I opened my eyes, our room was bright and the sun was shining on the bed, waking me up efficiently. I turned over and spotted Dyson with his hands covering his face.
"How are you feeling?" I asked as I got up to get him some fresh water. I came back from the bathroom and sat down next to him, holding out the glass.
He sat up slowly, squinting and took the water, "Thank you, and I feel like I've been hit by a car."
I smiled at him, "Well you refused to drink the painkillers when I woke you up to take them, so technically it's your fault."
He smiled lightly and gulped the water down, "You always know better."
I returned a slight smile while we stared at each other, his words from last night replaying in my head, "Do you remember anything from last night?"
He shook his head, getting up from the bed to go and take a shower, "Not really. Where are my brown pants?"
I sighed and pointed at his closet, "I put your clothes in there."
"Thank you." He said and walked over, pulling out his clothes and shuffled off to the bathroom.
While he was taking a shower, I got dressed, throwing on a black muscle fit T-shirt and some jeans. I found myself putting in more of an effort with my makeup and my hair, fiddling with this and that until I felt comfortable with myself. Dyson came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, and he got dressed. For the first time, I had no desire to look at him. I kept my back to him while he moved around, seeming refreshed and no longer in a foul mood. He sat down on the bed, and when I turned he was staring at me. I raised a brow, "So what's the plan for today?"
He sighed, "I'm going with my father to get everything in order for tomorrow's party."
I nodded, smiling lightly, "Do you need me to come with you?"
"No." He said flatly and got off of the bed, moving to his bedside table, "My mother said something about going to the country club again before she left yesterday. She's taking Lauren with her, you can tag along."
Tag along... I frowned at him, he was making it sound like I was a nuisance, "I don't need them to babysit me, Dyson, I have plenty to keep me busy with."
He shoved his phone into his pocket and walked over to me, kissing me on my head, "Good, then do that. I'll see you later."
I stared at him in disbelief as he left the room. His attitude was not welcomed and I didn't understand why he was acting like this. I wasn't going to keep putting up with it for much longer. So when he left, I grabbed my briefcase and the files I had brought with me, I had a lot of work to do anyway.
