Hi! Thanks so much for reading this story. I have never done anything like this before so I appreciate your kind words about the story. My plan is to follow loosely along with the current storyline on Grey's and just add in scenes and backstory that I think should happen.

I don't own the characters and am in awe of Shonda Rhimes, the woman who does. Thanks again for reading :)

Ever since that night at Joe's, Jackson was in a funk. With everything happening at Seattle Grace and the situation with April... he was in a dark place. After that night, he pulled the plug on his fling with Stephanie. He came to the conclusion that he couldn't keep having meaningless sex with women. He needed to man up. Find someone to love, who loved him back and build a life together.

He missed April. And not just the sex, but her friendship. She was the one person in the world who probably knew him better than he knew himself. Sure she could be neurotic, controlling and of course, a Jesus freak. But she was his Jesus freak and life just wasn't the same with her.

After thinking endlessly about it, Jackson couldn't figure out why he kept falling for women who were emotionally unavailable. Lexie. He was really crazy about her, but he always knew in the back of his head that she really belonged to Mark. There had been a girl in undergrad who at the time he thought was the love of his life, but they were on completely different career paths. Hers had taken her to study overseas and his to medical school and Seattle. And of course, April. He had to admit it to himself. He had fallen in love with her. Maybe he had always loved her. They had been friends for so long, been through so much together. He was fine just being friends until the night before the board when she kissed him. That night changed Jackson. And when he thought she had left and was gone for good. He couldn't pick up the phone to talk to her. It would be too hard, he thought to himself. And then she showed up out of the blue in the attending lounge. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her. He didn't know when casual sex turned into something more. Not until the pregnancy scare. He was in. All in. Until it occurred to him that April wasn't. She wasn't in at all. While he was sure April cared about him... their years of friendship had proved that... he wasn't sure she had that "mint to be" feeling that he had for her.

It didn't matter now. It was over. He had put it all on the line for her and she rejected him. Honestly, she might have done him a favor. It forced him to take a deep look at his relationships with women... women who weren't available to him. He had to figure out why this was his pattern and break it if he ever wanted to be happy.

Work had kept his mind off of his women problems. He had a number of interesting cases come his way and he was thankful for the distraction. He had started doing research on new synthetic skin that could help burn patients heal without scarring. In fact, Jackson was in the process of putting together a new trial to help save the lives of burn patients who ordinarily wouldn't stand a chance at survival. It had been a good move to put all of his energies into work. No more female drama for him.

He occasionally saw April. For the most part they didn't work together much and schedules being what they are, it just worked out that they often worked different shifts. As much as his work helped take away the hurt, it didn't fill the void entirely. He would find himself daydreaming about the house with the white picket fence, the wedding in the field... the baby that never was.

He had heard through Karev that April and that Matt guy were still dating. Jackson preferred not to think about it. If he were honest with himself, he would admit that he thought about whether or not April had slept with Matt. As stupid as it sounded, he liked that April had only been with him. And ironically, April and Edwards had actually become good friends. Jackson didn't understand it, but he had figured out a long time ago that there wasn't much he had understood about women.

As much as Jackson hated to admit it, he was in a holding pattern. Emotionally stuck. Until he figured out some things about himself he would remain stuck. Until he figured out why kept putting his heart on the line for women who didn't want him he was stuck. Single and stuck.