Hello! This chaps a little longer than others but i hope you like it. I dedicate this chapter to Sadist-chan, also known as Serena-loves-Angst, thank you for all the PM's and support.

Oh and also, I don't own Gintama. I wish i did, but i don't...


CHAPTER 3.

When you meet someone who claims to be your wife, check out her breast size to be sure you like it or be killed.

After blowing up another person who was indeed that night flirting with his wife, the man in red coat stepped out of the cloud of dust holding a huge bazooka and anger marks all over his deadpanned expression.

Since last night he has been following that China girl into every club and bar she went. It was indeed as she said since no one knew who she was, for all those bastards she was just a hot stranger and like hell he would let anyone touch his woman. Sleepless, pissed and jel- I mean angry, the man spend almost the whole night blowing up or scaring to death every person who dared to be close to her and flirt, as for the people who dared to touch her… That's censored information…. Scary to look at….

Finally he lost sight of her, that damn China run off somewhere while he was dealing with the host from the last club. Deciding to leave it at that and find her later, Sadist made his way towards Gengai's shop. He had to find a way to return to the future first and the grab his two girls and get out before anything were to happen. Sadist sigh, he hated it, especially this past.

Entering the shop he spotted Gengai, that damn old man who always managed to get them into trouble even in the future and Tama, green haired robot girl with maid uniform who works at Snack Otose. Sadist shook his head he doesn't want to even think about who Tama is with or what she is doing in the future.

Stepping in his shadow covered both of them and the said above people turned towards him. "Oi, old man, fix this remote or whatever and send me back." Sadist shouted throwing the remote at the man.

Gengai catch it then looked at the man. "Who are you? And fix your own things."

"I would if I could, damn piece of junk!" Man almost shouted, anger mark appearing but his deadpanned expression so much as twitching a little. "My name is Sougo Okita, I came from the future using that and your damn time machine so fix them and send me back." He said calmly as if those words explained everything.

Tama was the one who talked first. "You can't be Okita-sama, he is still a brat, super S who doesn't know anything, but to try to kill people and enjoy sadistic ways. He is always slacking off never taking anything seriously, he is acting cool but he is actually a little brat who is lost after his sister's death-"

Tama was about to continue when a katana was placed against her neck. Older Sougo talked expressionless voice as always. "If you don't wanna be ridden with viruses in the future, green piece of trash, then I success you to shut your trap."

She looked at him and added. "But he is a bishounen and a really kind hearted person whom everyone fears, he will definitely become a vice-commander in the future."

Lowering his sword the older man smirked. Then he looked at Gengai and the man was examining the remote and talked. "So this is the piece from time machine? Hahaha… I'm really great making something so amazing…" Old man laughed proudly.

"Don't be so full of yourself, dumbass. Since you made that, it only causes trouble. First you send everyone traveling in time, then when we returned and destroyed that damn thing you rebuild it and send my wife with daughter to this time."

"So, Okita-sama is married?" Tama asked in her usual robot like voice.

Okita scratched his head. "Yeah, to that China girl living with Danna, Kagura, and just try to comment on that I'll slice you in two." He added glaring at both past people.

Tama looked at him and broke the silence. "Everyone knew that this gonna happen, you two are well together."

Damn, that what everyone told him in the future too, oh well; he will deal with them later when the time comes. Sougo turned around to look at Gengai, spotting the man in the far corned crying while reading something.

Gengai was mumbling while reading the letter that fell from the remote. "So amazing, so all this gonna happen. Genius I really am a genius. So sweet of me, I should reply…"

Anger mark appearing Sougo shouted. "Why are you writing a letter to yourself?! Is this some kind of twisted in the head love drama! Stop that nonsense and fix that damn thing!"

"Well, instructions are here…" He shows Okita the piece of paper. "But I need some time to do this. Go try to kill someone while I am at it. Shoo-shoo." He waved his hand as if sending away a dog but pulled his hand just in time when a katana swing down at him.

"Fix it as soon as possible, grumpy bastard." While he's at it I'll go and find both China's and kill one of them. Then I'll take Aoi back. He thought turning away to leave.

"Oi, wait!" Gengai shouted making the older sadist turn around. "Be careful as to not reveal too much about the future. Big changes can cause a future to disappear and then there is a time paradox that will swallow everyone and-"

Gengai didn't get to finish as he saw Sougo walking out waving his hand and saying deadpanned. "I know I almost died from it."


Barber shop.

Gin was smiling with his usual grin on as he was playing with Hijikata's curly hair, pulling the ends of the curls and letting go making them bounce. Now that Toushi was curly head too, the two samurai looked totally identical with only their hair color different.

Seeing Hijikata's annoyance silver samurai kept playing with his hair annoying the mayora even more. "It's really curly you know… really bouncy…"

"STOP THAT YOU DAMN YOROZUYA-MADAO-BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!" Hijikata shouted jumping from his seat that was near Gintoki's and glaring at the guy.

"Oi, Oogushi-kun, did you do this on purpose? Do you like my hair that much?"

"Who will like it, perm head idiot?" Toushi shouted vein popping on his face.

Gin smirked. "Eh? Are you sure that you should call me that? You have a perm too now you know?" He pulled Hijikata's curls again, making the vice-commander jump away. "But two character with perm head in the same manga, is really troublesome. Go bald Mayora!" He stated looking at the other man with dead fish like eyes.

"You're pissing me off to no end yorozuya! I'll cut that useless head of yours." Hijikata grabbed his sword.

"Eh~ Your actions are not matching your looks Hijikata-kuuun~" He said mockingly with troll smile. "You wanna look like me? You like me that much? Are in love with me?"

"DIE YOU DAMN DUMBASS!" Hijikata jumped at the guy swinging his sword, but Gin just jumped away keeping his troll smile mockingly. Damn that Sougo! I'll kill that king sadist! I'll definitely murder him! Toushi thought annoyed as he was swinging his sword at yorozuya, but has to stop when barber came in and shouted.

FLASHBACK.

It was like any other morning, Hijikata woke up earlier than anyone as always and found his way to bathroom still wearing his black yukata. After finishing his business he returned to his room to dress up in his complicated Shinsengumi uniform. During all that period he didn't even once looked at the mirror, Toushi thought it was stupid and unnecessary, since he was not some girl, to look at himself in the mirror all the time.

By the time he was already dressed and out everyone was up, but for some reason as he walked down the yard towards the meeting room where he has to check the daily duties with Kondo-san, everyone was staring at him weirdly as if he grew a third eye on his forehead. He stopped abruptly rubbing his forehead with his hand to check if that bastard Sougo wrote something on his face, but there was nothing.

He entered the meeting room, where Okita and Kondo were waiting and sat in front of them taking the papers and reading them. He heard snorts and looking up he spotted Gori looking at him in shock and confusion while Sougo was smirking not even trying to hide it.

"What's wrong? What's so funny?" He glared at the two.

"Um, Toushi is that a new fashion or did you and yorozuya guy changed places?" Kondo asked puzzled with uncertain voice.

"What are you saying? Of course not, who would ever want to change with that damn useless bum." Toushi said lighting his cigarette anger mark on his forehead.

Kondo shook sweat running down his face, as he realized what would demon vice-commander do. "T-Toushi, y-y-your hair…. It's bouncing…"

"Huh~?" Hijikata exclaimed. "Kondo-san, did that gorilla woman hit you that hard? There is nothing wrong with my-"

He couldn't get to finish as Sougo took out the big mirror and placed it in front of the demon vice-commander. Looking down in it, his eyes started to twitch as he realized that his hair was curly. It was still black which differentiated him from yorozuya, but he was not himself anymore… HE WAS A DAMN PERM HEAD NOW! Toushi shouted in his thoughts.

"W-well, it's not so bad Toushi. Image change works for everyone and it suits you." Kondo was desperately trying to calm the rising hellish aura of second in charge, as he was uncomfortably smiling not believing his own words.

"No, Kondo-san, danna and Hijibaka-san are already so close that they can't live without each other, so they're using the matching looks couple team." Sougo said deadpanned expression, but with mockery in his voice and slight smirk at the end.

"Matching looks couple team" NOT!" Toushi jumped forwards grabbing Sougo by his collar and glaring at him with kill intend and veins popping out. "Sougo teme! This is all your doing isn't it? You did it didn't you?"

Sougo raised his hands as if surrendering. "What are you saying Hijikata-san, I have 'nothing' to do with it. Kondo-san you see, how can you allow a perm head violent guy be a vice-commander. Let's kill him!" Okita comments bored expression on, only smiling slightly when Hijikata got even more pissed and pulled him closer then threw him to the floor lighting another cigarette trying to calm his nerves.

Hijikata touched his hair feeling how the shape has changed, his straight hair was now curly at the ends, looking at the mirror he got even more pissed since now he looked exactly like natural-perm-idiot-yorozuya. His eye twitched while his own hand grabbed his hair and started to pull.

Kondo was still sweating trying to calm him down. "Well now Toushi, it's not such a big deal you know. Just take a shower I think it'll go away after that, right Sougo?" Gorilla turned desperate eyes towards the sadistic captain hopping for him to back him up.

But Sougo only made an innocent face shrugging. "Sorry Kondo-san, I think I 'accidentally' added some super glue in Hijibaka-san's shampoo."

Blue lines went down in Gori's face as he felt chills all over him. He looked at the mayora beside him to see that he was standing hand on his katana and demonic aura around him, eyes blazing with fury. "Sou-go…. YOU DAMN JACKASS SADIST! I'LL KILL YOU!"

Shouting Toushi unleashed his sword jumping at Sougo, but other man dodged and pointed his own sword out excited for a fight. He smirked as the other man charged again. "It's not so bad perm- oh I mean Hijikata-san~"

Toushi stopped gripping his sword tight. "You damn bastard, I look like a poodle now!"

Sougo grinned. "Nope you look like yorozuya no danna."

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE!" Toushi shouted and charged again, Kondo trying to stop them somehow from the side.

END OF FLASHBACK.

"Oh, so Souchirou-kun is behind this, huh?" Gintoki commented nodding like a philosopher scratching his chin.

Hijikata clenched his teeth biting on his cigarette eye twitching. "Don't look into other people's flashbacks, yorozuya idiot!" He shouted coming head to head with Gintoki.

"Huh~" Vein popped on Gin's face pushing his forehead against the other black perm head. "Then don't go off having flashback in the middle of the fight, Bouncy-kun."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" He wanted to grab his sword, but was stopped by barber.

"Um, I'm sorry, but your hair can't be fixed, Bouncy-kun." Barber said.

Vein popped on Bo-Toushi's forehead and he shouted looking at the barber through the mirror from where he was sitting. "STOP WITH THAT NAME!"

Toushi looked around to see countless broken combs, finished shampoo and all the other things that were used on his head to fix him hair, but it was in vain.

"Give it up, Bouncy-kun. I haven't been able to fix my hair my whole life." Gintoki patted Hijikata's shoulder with sympathy.

Vice-commander shoves away his hand pissed. "I'm not you, yorozuya. I don't want to be called perm head devil vice-commander my entire life."

"Well, then sir…" Barber interrupted them. "I can shave you bald and you will have your original hair grow in two-three episodes, if you're lucky enough to not show up during those episodes."

Toushi stared into empty space imagining himself bald going around Edo and commanding inside barracks while being bald devil vice-commander. He imagined Sougo having sadistic smile and Kondo showing him sympathy, while officers laugh behind his back. For the first time in his whole life he admitted, not that he will let anyone know or hear about it, but he admitted that being perm head is better than being bald with shining head.

Hijikata stood up from his seat moving to the door after paying. "Sorry, I'll pass."

As he exited the barbershop, yorozuya was close behind him. Gin put his hand on Toushi's shoulder saying while smirking. "Let's go Bouncy-kun. Let's drown our sorrows in sake."

"I SAID DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Toushi shouted, but still obeyed sighing and followed him to the bars.

While the two, now both with perm heads were moving away older Kagura exited the market that was near the barber. Older China was holding a plastic bag full of snacks and junk food, while with her other hand she was eating the sukobu. Older Kagura looked around hearing two familiar voices and recognized the two who were moving away from her. One of them was wearing a Shinsengumi uniform with black hair and the other one, was all too familiar to her person, with his white kimono that was off from one side and with white hair.

But what was interesting to her was that they both were curly head now. Kagura looked confused biting down the sukobu. "Ah, there are two Gin-chan's now." She said with low cute voice, but shrug and started to walk away the opposite way.


Yoshiwara.

"What a lovely girl. Seita seems to like her too." Hinowa commented with a smile as she watched Seita and Aoi play around. Seita was running away from Aoi as she was swinging her little umbrella, but then running from behind her and tickling.

"Where did you find that brat?" Tsukyo said smoking while relying on the wall and looking at the two brats playing.

Kagura smiled widely as she was eating from a big bowl. "She's my daughter and I'm taking care of her."

Hinowa and Tsukky looked at her confused. "Are you sure Kagura-chan? Doesn't she have a family, they must be looking for her, right?" Hinowa looked worried at the China girl.

Kagura shook her head helping herself to another bowl of food. "Nope, her mother left her to sadistic bastard, but since I can't leave an innocent baby to king of planet sadists I took her for myself." Kagura smiled satisfied by her conclusion.

Tsukky looked at Aoi, as the little girl finally got annoyed with Seita's teasing and swinging her umbrella tripped him then tried to smash his head, but he run away in time. This time she was running after him for real trying to hit him with all her might, pouting and little anger marks on. "It seems she is sadistic enough." Tsukky breathed out the smoke watching as the smoke slowly fade away.

Kagura was still smiling satisfied after her tenth bowl and sitting back on the bench relaxing. "This is heaven…"

"I finally found you." A familiar voice called, but it was deeper that usual. "Well, considering all the places and people you know it's not so hard. Since if you're not with Otae nee-san then you're in Yoshiwara."

Kagura turned towards the voice as she recognized the man from yesterday standing not far away from them expressionless and hands in his pockets. Now that she wasn't angry and examined his face better, he looked familiar, this guy looked like her rival, but older version.

Kagura jumped up angry pointing her gun at the guy. "What do you want pervert-pedoro?!"

Anger mark appeared on his forehead and he shouted. "STOP WITH THE NAMES! You damn bastard, she is my daughter, and I don't have weird fetishes!"

She spit giving him the disgusted look. "Don't give me that crap. She doesn't know you and she was scared."

"I wasn't home for a long time. Besides you know who I am right? I'm Sougo Okita, your rival, but from future. Of course you're not that dumb right China?" He smirked.

She frowned getting even more pissed. "You're pissing me off! There is no way that disgusting Sadist will look like this when he grows up."

"And I wouldn't have ever believed that you would look, like you do in the future, when right now you're a tomboy annoying glutton."

She shoots from her parasol making him jumped away and unleash his sword. "Damn you China monster, listen to me first!"

"Like hell dumbass, you're not taking Aoi away!" She jumped at him attacking and he dodged. Surprising enough he knew all her attacks and was fighting her easily. At realization she got even more annoyed.

She kept hitting and he returned the attacks. She stopped half way glaring at the man as he was smirking. "What tomboy brat, ready to give in?"

"As if!" She charged, but he maneuvered behind her blocking her umbrella with his sheath while putting his sword at her throat. "Bastard I'll kill you!"

"You'll have plenty of time to try that, but first listen to me-" He whispered to her ear.

"First let her go." Kunai was placed against his neck, older sadist didn't have to look back to know that Tsukky and probably few other females from her team have gathered around.

It was always like this after all as soon they fight there have to be an audience. He let go of his wife's little self and she jumped away from him glaring. Kagura hit him in the stomach making him double over. "You freaking female gorilla's no wonder you don't have any man."

This time there was a kunai in his forehead. He took it out glaring at the woman who threw it and threw the kunai away. All this females was nothing to him, he could fight them and even do more than that since he's a sadist, he smirked realizing what kind of games he could actually play and he would have succeeded in pissing the older China off since she hated it when he was in Yoshiwara and around other woman.

But he didn't have time for that; Aoi was still in the hands of a little glutton idiot who has no idea what she's doing and the older beast that also doesn't know what she's doing is walking around, he has to find her and hopefully return before that time. He sighs, looking at the younger Kagura, what in the world did he find in this girl 5 years ago, to fall in love and marry her?

Finally putting his sword away he moved his hands up to untie his cravat and then unbuttoned four buttons on his shirt.

Kagura's eyes went wide and she blushed moving away. "Oi, what the hell are you doing? This might be that kind of place, but don't undress in the middle of the street pervert!"

"What are you planning?" Tsukky also blushing prepared to throw five more kunai at him.

He opened his shirt half way exposing his upper chest and revealing a silver colored pretty necklace with a rose engraved on it, while his crimson eyes were staring at China making her uncomfortable. "Is this proof enough, idiot?"

Kagura shook her head concentrating on the necklace trying to forget the older supposed sadists stare. She recognized the familiar shape, the same rose that was one her mothers golden necklace that she took with herself when she left home, but it was silver in color the same one her father had with him until her baka-nii took it away.

"Where did you get that Bakaiser?" She asked again pointing her umbrella at him this time with serious face. That necklace was something that belonged to her family no one but her and Kamui should have such a thing.

"Are you dumb? There are only two ways for me to get it, either to be a Yato or be married to a part of your family. Since I'm not a Yato classman-"

"So you're in a relationship with baka-nii. Che, I didn't know you had such interests Sadist." She showed him disgusted face.

"OF COURSE NOT YOU PIG YOUKAI!" Older Okita shouted, but then calmed down.

"You gave it to me, or more like we made a copy of yours so that they would look identical." He sighs scratching his neck. "I told you China, I came from the future and well there we're… Married." He said the last word dragged out while enjoying the horrified look on China's face as it slowly turned into blush.

"YOU'RE LYING!" She shouted swinging her parasol, but he dodged as always, it was easy since after all this years he knew exactly where she is gonna hit. "Hell will freeze over before I even think about marrying a prince of planet sadist! You're making me sick. Die, go and die!"

He smirked. "You said that at first too China, but then after we did XXX and you were XXX, while I was XXX. You kept telling me how you loved it and then we XXX-"

"STOP~!" She shouted all red like a tomato till her ears while sitting down and holding her head. "Waaa~ I'm gonna be traumatized. Gin-chan kill this bastard, he is gonna ruing my innocent mind!" She kept screaming.

"No, I don't think that it can actually become more messed up that now." Older Sadist said deadpanned enjoying his little torture over China, not like he was lying though.

"Kagura-chan…" Hinowa was near her now; China raised her face eyes teary and snot running, while her face was still burning red and she was not the only one Tsukky, who was standing behind Hinowa, she realized was also red, even redder than Kagura. "I think you should really listen to this man. Maybe he has something important to tell you since he came such a long way."

She looked at the older female who was smiling at her. "Don't worry, Tsukky and I will look after Aoi." Hinowa added.

Kagura nodded and stood up, wiping her face with Sadist's coat as she approached him earning a stare from him with annoyed eyes. Then she raised her head glaring at the man, he azure eyes locked to his crimson once that were reflecting her. "I'm listening, but if I don't believe you, you're dead, pedo-sadist."

Anger mark appeared on his forehead as older Okita was trying his best to not snap and cut the tomboy in front of him, but god he loved when she was glaring at him with her sapphire eyes.


Shinsengumi HQ.

"So that's the story, now that you know will you help me with the revenge little Sadist-kun." Older China smiled at him.

Older Kagura came into the barracks a little while ago, making every single male around the HQ stare at her with open mouth. She enjoyed their reaction, not like she didn't have any admirers in the future, but since she was married to the worlds most scariest King of Planet of Sadist, number one Bakaiser, everyone was so scared that they kept their distance stealing little glances at her, but not daring to gape. She smiled, but right now it was different, for all this Shinsengumi idiots she was just a super good-looking girl from somewhere and she had no connection what-so-ever with the current Sougo Okita.

Finally finding the little Sadist, who was as always sleeping with his stupid mask on under the tree, she approached him having him looked at her surprised. He seemed to recognize her, since they were rivals she guessed, but he still kept his emotionless face as he listened to her story bored.

"What's my profit from it?" Sougo asked with deadpanned voice.

She smirked. "Well, you like playing games right and I know you will enjoy this. Besides, as a reward for helping me I'll tell you Hijibaka's most embarrassing secret, that will appear only in couple of years, so that you can start blackmailing him now."

That seemed to catch his attention since he sat closer his eyes firing with interest and grin on his lips. "So I have an upper hand over Hijibaka?"

Kagura nodded. "Yeah, you might even become a vice-commander with that secret." She kept smiling, but inside shaking her head on how it was easy to bribe and get males in this manga do everything that's asked, just give them, sweets, money, mayonnaise or a chance to become a vice-commander.

Suddenly she felt a funny sensation her breast, Older China looked down to see little Sadist's hand squeezing her left breast while with other hand he kept rubbing his chin. "To think that China will grow to actually look hot, I've underestimated you tomboy."

Anger marks appeared all over older Kagura as she started to shake with fury rising. "You damn perverted…." She picked up her parasol. "MOLESTING JACKASS!"

Kagura shouted and swing her umbrella at Sadist with all her might. He jumped away-satisfied smirk on his face while unsheathing his sword.

They started to fight, it seems like no matter what time or age they're at it will always be China and Sadist fighting. Be it kicking, punching or cutting and shooting they did all that and as it looked from the outside they seemed to do it all at the same time. In a minute the whole room was in ruins and broken down.

Suddenly the door opened and the other two walked in. "Sadist listen to this…" Kagura put down Aoi on tatami saying, but before she could finish she spotted her older self and Sadist. Older Sougo entered right behind her and also froze besides her looking at his younger self.

Older Kagura and younger Sadist were lying in a really compromising position that made their other selves grab their weapons tighter. Older China was above Sadist her one leg between his thighs, her one hand pinning his hand down and with the other hand she was pointing her umbrella at his head, while Okita was lying under her one hand pinned down and with the other one he was holding her breast.

"Oh China, I see you've already met 'us'." Younger Sadist said expressionless while not thinking of moving away.

"What are you doing, bastard?" Younger Kagura asked gritting her teeth in anger.

Older China smiled. "We're… wrestling."

The aura of the two that walked in have been rising turning black in color, and they were now reminding of two demons. "Little Sougo-kun, why are you under my woman and touching her breast?" Older Sadist asked starting to unsheathe his sword.

"Just checking what size will my future wife have." Younger Okita answered.

Suddenly the monstrous aura filled the air. Older Sadist and younger Kagura glaring at their past and future selves, their aura now turning into the full black and their eyes blazing red with fury.

Whole barracks were emptied as soon as the shinsengumi officers felt the kill intend in the air. Aoi on the other hand was happy with the situation not minding her surrounding she was happily playing with the little voodoo doll that probably belonged to Sadist.

As if to add to their tension, younger Sougo squeezed older China's breast making her go "Ah~" With cute voice and blush on her cheeks.

CRACK.

Many cracking sounds were heard in the air and then silence.

"Sadist…" Younger Kagura said at the same time as Older Sadist said. "Little Sougo…"

"YOU'RE DEAD!" The two shouted in unison.

To be continued….


THANK YOU FOR READING~

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! PLEASE REVIEW, I REALLY WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS. CRITICS ARE ALSO ACCEPTED.