AN: I will try to update a few times a week but sometimes I might not be able to thanks

Annabeth began to read.

1. I accidentally vaporize my maths teacher.

The gods and demigods all looked to Percy who was currently trying to hide behind Annabeth's hair in an attempt to get away from the stares 'how do you accidentally vaporize your maths teacher' asked Hera. Percy just shrugged and gestured to the book for Annabeth to keep reading. Luckily she got the message.

Look I didn't want to be a half-blood.

'No one does I don't blame you but it is cool when we're not nearly dying' said the Stoll's. The gods looked at them in shock 'how many times do they nearly die' thought the gods. But before they could voice that question Annabeth carried on reading.

If your reading this because you think you might be one my advice is:

'Kelp heads giving advice what is the world coming to' said Thalia and the demigods started to laugh until they picked the book back up.

Close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life.

'huh that's not half bad seaweed brain who knew you could do it' Annabeth said then kissed him on the lips and only drew back when Aphrodite started squealing because she had figured out it was Percy and Annabeth who truly and unconditionally loved each other. Percy blushed and looked down at his feet to ignore the stares from the rest of the gods. Then Annabeth started to read again saving him from further embarrassment.

Being a half-blood is dangerous.

'Check'

It's scary.

'Check'

Most of the time it gets you killed in painful, and nasty ways.

'And check' said the demigods remembering all that had happened to them. While the gods sat there in shock 'was being a half-blood really that dangerous' they thought.

If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think its fiction great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.

But if you recognize yourself in these pages- if you feel something stirring inside- stop reading immediately. You might be one of us and once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it to, and they'll come for you. Don't say I didn't warn you.

'But you didn't warn us' the Stoll's said. Clarisse cuffed them round the head while Annabeth kept reading.

My name is Percy Jackson.

'No duh'

I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.

Am I a troubled kid?

The demigods started laughing while Jason was just thinking 'you cause more trouble than your worth I should have left you to rot I Tartarus would have saved me a lot of trouble'. When the laughter died down they gestured for Annabeth to carry on reading.

Yeah you could say that

Cue another round of laughter

I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan- twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.

'That sounds fun' said Athena. 'More like torture muttered Poseidon.

I know-it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were.

Athena glared at Percy

But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.

Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.

I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.

'So Perce how much trouble did you get in' questioned Nico. Percy just shrugged and gestured to keep reading.

Boy, was I wrong.

See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway.

The demigods started laughing extremely hard while Leo was gasping out in between laughter 'then …. What …. Were you …. Aiming ….for.' Percy turned bright red which caused another round of laughter. While Hermes sat there thinking 'gods I love this kid I should take him out with me on a pranking expedition' 'you will do no such thing' Poseidon said in his head Hermes waved him off and tuned back into the book.

And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim. And the time before that... Well, you get the idea.

'Noo we want more' Apollo and Hermes begged

This trip, I was determined to be good.

'How did that work out for you hey kelp head' said Thalia, Percy said nothing and just turned back around.

All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.

'Hey why isn't Grover here if he is in the books' questioned piper. Then there was a flash of light and in fell Grover who was currently sprawled on the floor from where he had landed. 'Who is this Zeus asked determined not to get back on Percy's bad side. Grover stood up still a bit shaky and announced 'Grover underwood, satyr, lord of the wild, leader of the cloven elders, hero of Olympus, saviour of Olympus, survivor of the labyrinth and boyfriend of juniper.

'Oh ok then you may take a seat and somebody please explain to him why we are here' the half-bloods nodded and started explaining to Grover why they were there. Once he got the story Annabeth carried on reading.

Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs.

'Thanks Perce feeling the love' stated Grover 'sorry G-man' Percy said albeit a bit sheepishly.

He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.

The demigods laughed at that.

Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.

"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.

'Do it do it do it' chanted the gods and demigods

Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."

He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.

"That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.

'Grover why did you stop him we could have had some action in this book' yelled Ares

"You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."

Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.

'Oh no' Poseidon muttered and went pale in worry for his son

Mr. Brunner led the museum tour.

He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.

It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.

'Probably longer'

He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone col-umn with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of inter-esting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye.

Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.

From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.

'Seriously'

One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right."

'Grover' complained Annabeth' you could have blown your cover 'sorry' he said sheepishly

Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.

Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?"

It came out louder than I meant it to.

'Of course it did'

The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story.

"Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"

My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir."

Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"

Jason started a bet with everyone '20 drachmas says he doesn't know what it is because he is to dumb and stupid' he got glared at bye Annabeth and it took all his will power to not flinch but everyone placed bets anyway even the gods it was Annabeth, Nico, Thalia, Poseidon, Grover, Apollo and Hermes against Jason and the rest of them.

I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"

'ahh' Jason and the others groaned 'how did you know he would get it right' 'simple' replied Thalia 'don't underestimate Percy he may act like an idiot sometimes but he is actually quite smart' after that Jason found himself re-evaluating his plan to get rid of Percy obviously he would need to do something better than just humiliate him and make him seem like less of a leader so he could control both camps.

"Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because ..."

"Well..." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and-"

"God?" Mr. Brunner asked.

"Titan," I corrected myself. "And ... he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters-"

"Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me.

"-and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."

'Did Percy just sum up one of the biggest wars in history in a couple of sentences' asked Demeter. 'Yep' they replied 'that's Percy for you.'

Some snickers from the group.

Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"

"And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"

'Busted' Nico sang. Annabeth laughed as she read the next line

"Busted," Grover muttered.

'Ahhhh I think like goat' Nico screamed

"Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.

At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.

I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."

"I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"

'Happy note' questioned the gods

The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doo-fuses.

Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson."

I knew that was coming.

I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?"

Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go- intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.

"You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me.

"About the Titans?"

"About real life. And how your studies apply to it."

"Oh."

'Typical Percy answer'

"What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."

I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.

'It's for the best' Annabeth muttered rubbing Percy's shoulder

I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman per-son who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped. But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life. No-he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.

I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.

He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.

The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.

Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York State had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, and wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurri-cane blowing in.

'Wonder what we are fighting about' muttered Poseidon and Zeus while Athena was thinking hard trying to find something to explain it.

Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.

Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school-the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.

"Detention?" Grover asked.

"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean-I'm not a genius."

'Don't we know it' muttered the demigods then burst out laughing

Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"

This caused another round of uncontrollable laughing

I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.

I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.

'Ahh' Aphrodite and Hera cooed while Artemis was thinking a male that actually cares for his mother maybe he is different.

Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table.

I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends-I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists-and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.

The demigods at this point looked downright murderous even some of the gods did.

"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spraypainted her face with liquid Cheetos.

I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.

'Yeahh go Percy' they started shouting

I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"

Mrs. Dodd's materialized next to us.

Hades gasped he had figured out why she was so familiar it was Alecto his best fury but why would he send her after Percy.

Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-"

"-the water-"

"-like it grabbed her-"

I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.

As soon as Mrs. Dodd's was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodd's turned on me. There was a tri-umphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey-"

"I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."

'Noooooo never guess your punishment' Hermes, Chris and the Stoll's shouted

That wasn't the right thing to say.

"Come with me," Mrs. Dodd's said.

"Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her."

I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death.

She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.

"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.

"But-"

"You-will-stay-here."

Grover looked at me desperately.

"It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."

"Honey," Mrs. Dodd's barked at me. "Now."

Nancy Bobofit smirked.

I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare.

The demigods shivered it was not nice being on the end of that stare. The gods noticed this and didn't comment until Ares said 'what I bet it's not as good as mine' and proceeded to stare at them none of them even flinched or batted an eyelid then Percy turned his stare at the gods and they visibly stiffened and flinched some even going as far as to fall of their seat and hide behind their thrones *cough Hermes cough Apollo cough Ares cough*

Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodd's, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.

How'd she get there so fast?

I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counsellor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.

I wasn't so sure.

I went after Mrs. Dodd's.

Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel.

I looked back up. Mrs. Dodd's had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.

Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.

But apparently that wasn't the plan.

I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.

Except for us, the gallery was empty.

'That's not a good sign' the demigods stated and Poseidon visibly paled further wondering what type of monster his son would be facing

Mrs. Dodd's stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.

'Probably was'

Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodd's. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it...

"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.

I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."

*gasp* 'Percy safe thing' muttered Thalia, Percy just looked at her and carried on listening

She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"

The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.

She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.

I said, "I'll-I'll try harder, ma'am."

Thunder shook the building.

"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodd's said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."

I didn't know what she was talking about.

All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.

'Only Percy' said the demigods and laughed when Percy started to pout and Annabeth snapped him out of it by snuggling closer and kissing him on the cheek

"Well?" she demanded.

"Ma'am, I don't..."

"Your time is up," she hissed.

Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shrivelled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.

Everyone apart from hades gasped because he had figured it out before his only worry now was Poseidon whose anger he could sense was boiling over and he just knew he was in for it.

'HADES' bellowed Poseidon and was out of his seat before anyone could stop him and started inching closer to him all the while screaming 'YOU SENT A FURY AFTER MY SON WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING IF ANY HARM COMES TO HIM I WILL PERSONALLY TURN YOU INTO A PUDDLE I HAVE THE POWER' and to prove his point he let 50,000 gallons of water pour over him all the while hades is trying not to get drowned. But after him being thoroughly soaked Poseidon sat back down worry for his son evident in his face.

Then things got even stranger.

'HOW' shouted the gods demigods and satyr

Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.

"What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.

'What's a pen going to do' Jason sneered 'you would be surprised how many times that pen has saved our lives' replied Chris

Mrs. Dodd's lunged at me.

With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword-Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.

'COOL' piper and Leo shouted amazement evident in their tone Jason just sat there grumpily refusing to believe that Percy could be good and have cool stuff.

Mrs. Dodd's spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.

My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.

'Wimp' Ares snarled and was silenced surprisingly by Clarisse who's glare was almost as terrifying as Percy's. Almost.

She snarled, "Die, honey!"

And she flew straight at me.

Poseidon was now on the edge of his seat anticipating what could happen

Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.

'NATURALLY' the demigods and gods screeched in absolute surprise Percy just shrugged and said 'it is to me' even Jason found himself in a little bit of awe that he could take down one of the best furies at twelve years old with absolutely no training and no idea what was going on.

The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss!

Mrs. Dodd's was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulphur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.

I was alone.

There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.

Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.

'Still letting the mist affect him' Hephaestus muttered.

My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or some-thing.

Had I imagined the whole thing?

'Nope'

I went back outside.

It had started to rain.

Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."

'Who' everyone muttered

I said, "Who?"

"Our teacher. Duh!"

'Ohhh the mist' they realised

I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.

She just rolled her eyes and turned away.

I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodd's was.

He said, "Who?"

But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.

'Grover you are a really bad liar we need to give you lessons' said Travis and Conner who proceeded to take out a notebook and scribble down an appointment for him.

"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."

Thunder boomed overhead.

I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.

I went over to him.

He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."

I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.

"Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodd's?"

He stared at me blankly. "Who?"

"The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodd's. The pre-algebra teacher."

He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodd's on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodd's at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"

'That's the end of the first chapter' Annabeth stated 'who wants to read next'

'I will' said Poseidon so Annabeth tossed him the book and he began to read.

2. Three old ladies knit the socks of death