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Part of the Family – Chapter Three
As dusk drew in, a thick sea mist rolled in from the ocean, cloaking Newport in a damp, gray blanket. The Christmas lights, still strung up along the pier and outside restaurants, struggled to twinkle through the gloom. Ryan pulled his knees up to his chest and pulled his hoody closer around his body as he fought to keep the cold from seeping through to his bones. He wished he'd grabbed more than just his jacket and bike when he fled the Cohens'. He had no money, no food and no phone but he didn't yet feel desperate enough to return. He wasn't ready to face Kirsten just yet. His own anger had turned to guilt in the last few hours. No wonder she'd been so pissed off with him, he'd deceived her, as good as lied to her.
His stomach was clenched in a tight knot as he relived the scene in the kitchen over and over again. Her voice, angry, hurt and disappointed all at the same time, whirled around his head unremittingly. Kirsten had been more of a mother to him than his own mother and he'd repaid her like this. He knew he'd lost her trust and her respect and he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to earn it back. Kirsten wasn't normally the sort to make snap decisions or quick judgments. She'd taken weeks to accept him into her home. She'd been generous with her time, with her money, with her support, but he'd felt for a long time that she'd been watching him, just waiting for him to screw up so she could say to Sandy that they'd made a huge mistake and he should go back to juvie. For a long time he'd felt like he was living on a knife-edge. Only when they'd stuck by him after he was suspended from school did he begin to relax. And when Kirsten had pulled him into that hug when he left for Chino, he'd crumbled inside, knowing that he meant as much to her as she meant to him. But now he'd taken all of that and trashed it, as Sandy would say. He'd fucked it all up because he couldn't keep his hands off a girl.
He sighed and lit another cigarette.
Suddenly, a warm hand touched his shoulder. He swung round, alarmed. Seth stood behind him, his face pinched with anxiety. He'd obviously been searching for Ryan for quite a while as the damp air had turned his normally tousled hair into a mass of tight curls.
"Hey Buddy!"
"Hey!" Ryan nodded back, his eyes wary. He scooted along the bench to make room for Seth to join him. Both boys sat silently for a moment, unsure of what to say.
"You know she didn't mean it right?" Seth began.
"Then why'd she say it?" Ryan questioned. He looked straight at Seth, eyebrows raised, eyes stony.
Seth dug his hands into the pockets of his jeans in an effort to keep them warm and to buy himself some time while he thought of a reply.
He looked sideways at his friend.
"Because she's pissed off with Grandpa?" he finally responded.
"If she's pissed off with your Grandpa then why wasn't she yelling at him?"
Ryan began to chew the inside of his cheek, his eyes despondent. Seth knew this look well. This was the Ryan Atwood Oliver Brood.
Ryan sighed and turned to Seth, his eyes dark with anger.
"Look Seth, she's pissed off with me O.K? She's pissed off because she thought I was banging her new sister. And, lets face it, I can't blame her. Not after what happened with Theresa and especially not after that conversation we had this morning at breakfast. I should have been straight with her there and then. I should have told her that Lindsay and I had been dating and asked her if she was O.K. with it."
"Well….she'll get over it. I mean, technically you've done nothing wrong. It's not as if she's actually related to you."
Ryan turned on Seth, his blue eyes flashing dangerously.
"Seth! This is your Mom's sister we're talking about. How would you feel, if it was yoursister? Especially if I'd deliberately not told you," he added, almost inaudibly.
"Well, quite obviously I'd have to punch you…" Seth began. Ryan's eyebrows shot up mockingly at this.
"Well, O.K, maybe not punch you but certainly do something to show my displeasure, maybe take away your wrist cuff or hide your Physics book.." he ended feebly.
Ryan let a small smile escape his lips, the tension between them lifting momentarily.
"But look Dude, this isn't the same thing, really it's not. She didn't even know she had a sister until, like, a week ago. I'm telling you man, she's mad at the Big Chief, not you. It just so happened that seeing you with Lindsay unleashed the Beast."
Ryan shook his head helplessly. He wanted to believe what Seth was saying but he didn't, not for a minute.
He looked across at Seth as his friend stood idly kicking a loose stone along the sidewalk.
"I'm sorry Seth, but there's more to it than that. I lied to her, well, as good as lied. I hate being lied to. I'm sure your Mom feels just the same."
"She's used to it dude. Remember the Imax incident and the TJ incident and the…"
Ryan fixed him with a glare and Seth shut up.
"I should have been straight with her. I should have just told her, or called a halt to Lindsay and me. After all your Mom's done for me Seth, I deceived her. I can't blame her for being mad. I've let her down in the worst way."
"Have you called her?" Seth asked tentatively.
"Who, your Mom?"
"No! No point doing that at the moment anyway," Seth babbled, "she's a little…out of it. No, I meant Lindsay."
Ryan winced at the thought of having driven Kirsten to the bottle. Memories of his mother screaming at him as she slugged from an open bottle of vodka shot through his mind. How had he managed to turn Seth's mother into a copy of his own?
He turned to answer Seth's question.
"No, she left straight after Kirsten found us and I haven't really had a chance. I left my phone at home," he answered absently.
"Home, yes! Where we should really be right now."
Seth took his chance while he had it. He needed to persuade Ryan to come home before they were both found, cold and stiff behind the lifeguard tower, dead from exposure.
"Come on buddy. Enough with the brooding already. You and Mom can sort this out tomorrow, come home with me."
Seth began to search in his pockets for the car keys.
"Seth. I …can't. I just….I really need to think this through, figure some stuff out,you know? Before I see your Mom?" He looked pleadingly at Seth.
Seth sighed, his shoulders sinking with defeat.
"You can't stay out here all night Ryan, you'll freeze."
"I promise I won't stay out all night O.K? Just go home and I'll see you in the morning." He spoke firmly to Seth, leaving the other boy in no doubt of his decision.
"What am I supposed to tell my Dad? He'll freak out."
Ryan knew Seth was right. He'd already fucked up with Kirsten; he needed at least to keep things right with Sandy.
"Give me your phone. Tell him I'll call him within the next couple hours OK?"
Seth seemed satisfied with that and handed over his cell phone and a fifty-dollar bill.
"Alright man. I'll leave you to it then…."
They looked across at each other awkwardly.
"Yeah…and thanks Seth, for…. well, thanks."
Seth nodded, his head dropping slightly as he studied the concrete of the sidewalk.
"See ya," he murmured.
"See ya." Ryan turned and headed off towards the Crab shack.
Ryan hesitated at the door of the Crab Shack. He had Seth's fifty dollars in his pocket. He could either buy a decent meal here or he could spend it on beer and get very drunk, very quickly. Suddenly, the idea of obliterating today's events sounded very inviting. He turned on his heel and headed away from the restaurant towards the local liquor store, where he and Seth had once bought some beer, with no questions asked, for one of Holly's parties earlier that year.
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The alcohol flooded through his body quickly. After eighteen months of being virtually tee- total, it didn't take much to get the desired effect. The pain of today's events dulled as he became more and more light headed.
Suddenly he was filled with a burning desire to see Lindsay, to have her hug him and tell him everything would be O.K, smother his face in her gentle kisses.
He pulled himself up from the sand where he'd lain for the last half hour and walked slowly and deliberately up the steps to the road. He thought about Lindsay and his heart gave a lurch. God, she was beautiful. He knew she didn't think so but he thought she was. Not in a super model sort of way or a prom queen sort of way, but there was just something about her, something which shone through and made her one of the most attractive girls he'd ever met. And man, she looked hot today in school, in that blue wonder bra top thing that left not much to the imagination. He didn't think she had any idea how much she turned him on. He only needed to catch a glimpse of her in the halls and his dick would twitch. Come to think of it, his dick was twitching now.
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He stood unsteadily on the doorstep, searching for the bell. Unable to locate it, he knocked heavily on the door.
"I'll get it Mom," he heard Lindsay call inside the house. He pulled himself up straight and tried to look as though he had not drunk eight bottles of beer in quick succession.
"Ryan? Come in. I hadn't expected to see you again today. Figured you'd be grounded at the very least. I tried to call you," she added reproachfully.
"Yeah….I left the house earlier without my phone," he answered vaguely.
Lindsay shot him a look. Something about Ryan seemed slightly off…
Ryan tried hard to focus on Lindsay's face. Failing that, he lurched forward and planted a wet kiss, deep on her lips.
Lindsay's nose wrinkled with distaste.
"Ryan, have you been drinking?"
"I just had a couple a beers," he answered defensively, pulling her into the house.
"A couple?" she replied dubiously, following him in.
He swung round and grabbed the back of her head, pulling her into his body. He pressed his lips to hers, his mouth slightly open, his tongue probing her gently.
"Ryan, you're drunk. And you stink of cigarettes," Lindsay recoiled, as she tried to push him away.
"Oh come on Lindsay," leered Ryan. "I thought we could finish what we started earlier…" as he pulled her over to the couch. They landed clumsily. Ryan leant forward across Lindsay, the weight of his body resting on her chest. He kissed her again, his lips crushed to hers, his cheek, rough with stubble, grazing against her. He smelt strongly of beer and smoke and the ocean.
"God, Lindsay. I really want to see you naked…." he breathed into her ear.
"Ryan!" She was slightly shocked at Ryan's comment but somehow she couldn't bring herself to pull away. Her heart began to race inside her chest, the thudding almost audible.
His free hand snaked up inside her blouse and his fingers slipped easily inside her bra. Lindsay let out an involuntary moan as he began to tease her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. He pushed against her, the hardness in his jeans pressing onto her pelvis. The throbbing between her legs grew stronger as he fumbled to release the top button of her jeans. Dammit, she thought, he was one hell of a sexy drunk…
Lindsay took a deep breath as she fought to regain some control over the situation, trying to push his hands away from her body.
"Ryan, my Mom's here," she muttered breathlessly as she lost the battle to keep his hand out of her jeans. Her body wilted with pleasure and desire.
"Let's go to your room then…" he panted, as his fingers laced their way through her panties.
"No," she responded, finally mustering all her strength to move him off of her.
"This is all wrong Ryan. We can't do this, not now, not like this…"
He scowled as he rolled away from her. Girls could be such prick teasers. Turned out Lindsay was just as bad as Marissa.
He stood up and adjusted his pants. He glared down at Lindsay.
"O.K. Lindsay," he said venomously, "You've made your feelings pretty clear. See ya!"
"Ryan, you need to go home. Go home and sober up and we'll talk about this in the morning…."
"Yeah right. One more talk to look forward to…"
He turned and yanked open the front door, slamming it behind him as he left.
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He pulled open the door to The Crab Shack and blinked rapidly as the lights from the restaurant assaulted his eyes. He ordered a cup of coffee and a burger. Lindsay had been right; he needed to sober up, and quickly. He was already regretting his visit and the beer.
He hoped she would forgive him for his behavior towards her. He sighed. Yet another thing to be sorry about.
His coffee arrived swiftly and he cupped his hands around the mug to warm his fingers. Despite it only being a short walk from Lindsay's, the air was still very cold and his thin hoody had done nothing to keep him warm. Still, he mused, the fresh air had at least helped clear his head. Now all he needed was some food to soak up the excess alcohol and he should be able to speak coherently to Sandy. He glanced at his watch. He'd told Seth he'd call his father in a couple of hours. It was almost that time now. He was glad to see his burger arrive; he could eat and then call.
Just as he'd finished his burger, Seth's phone started vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out and flipped it open.
"Hey kid!"
"Hey Sandy. I was just about to call you…"
"Right, I believe you!" Sandy chuckled.
"No really I was. Listen Sandy, I'm gonna stay the night with a friend OK, if that's alright with you?"
"This friend isn't a park bench is it?"
Ryan smiled. Sandy knew him too well.
"No. I promise, it's a real life human being. Please Sandy, trust me on this. I just want a bit more time to think and you know once I get home…"
"Yeah kid, I know, Seth'll be bugging you and I'll be bugging you and….and Ryan look, I do trust you OK?"
"Yeah, I know, and thanks, you know, for everything…"
"I want you back here first thing in the morning OK? And kid, you know…Kirsten's feeling really bad…"
Ryan sighed. He didn't want to talk about this now. He was too tired.
"Can we talk about this tomorrow?" he replied.
"Sure kid. Tomorrow then…"
Ryan shut off the phone and tucked it back in the back pocket of his jeans. He threw some notes on the table for the waiter and walked out of the Crab Shack.
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He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
"Can I come in?" he asked quietly.
"Sure…."
He shut the door carefully behind him.
tbc
