Chapter 3: Toydaria Gangsters

A/N Alrighty then! Time for the next chapter! And I just wanted to say I don't have any necessary plans to have the play scenes for the episodes going in exact chronological order because sometimes it seemed like too much fun for one idea and I can't wait having to get through one chapter first or else there's no humor to the story at all because I don't have the inspiration for it and the humor gets dry. You ever get that feeling when you yourself are writing? Well, anyways I have a quick question for you reviewers out there: What episode should I do next?

A. Lair of Grievous or "Lair of the Idiots"

B. Rookies or "Cookies"

C. Or Destory Malevolence or "Destroy Maramalade"

You guys get the vote! Now, on with the show!

"Appearing next, I should be." Yoda calmly stated, not fully aware of the events that had been taken before or Plo running out of the building crying in embarrassed tears. Mace just shook his head.

"I don't know about this Yoda, I'm starting to have doubts about the situation going on right now." he said, being the sourpuss he usually is. Though this time, he had a good reason, because he was right.

Everyone hushed their conversations as the lights dimmed once again for the next opening scene, which was on a desert like stage set, with cardboard purple tree thingies, and a escape pod prop. There outside the escape pod, were a set of five clones and a small Yoda look-alike. Though, this Yoda actor dressed nothing like the real one. This actor wore baggy dark jeans that practically showed his underwear, an oversized yellow T-shirt that Soulja Boy would normally wear, a set of Sport Nike's, a large oversized hoodie jacket, and losts of gold chains around the actor's stubby neck.

"Yo Yo Yo Yoda's da name! Wa'ssup n*****s?" the Yoda actor called out to the audience in a ghetto raspy voice. Yoda's jaw dropped all the way to the floor, and nobody even tried to hold in their laughter, not even Mace!

Actually, Yoda wasn't the only one not laughing, Shaak Ti stood there flabergasted at the word the Yoda actor just said.

"Can you even say the n word in a play?" she questioned stressfully.

"I don't know! Who cares!" Mace-yes I just said Mace unnatrually said.

"Master...I can't hold in my laughter! I think I'm gonna explode!" Ahsoka panicked. Anakin looked over to his padawan with minor concern.

"Then just laugh Snips. What's the big deal?" Anakin said, still laughing lightly.

"It's just that-he's the Grand Master and he is one of the guys that will make me a Knight and I don't want to disrespect him if it means never being Knighted. But, at least I'll be able to stay with you forever!" Ahsoka suddenly changed her tone, now enlighted at staying with her master.

Anakin, however, didn't agree. His blue eyes widened, and he gasped.

"Guys shut up! Stop laughing! I don't wanna be stuck with her!" Anakin shouted at the other, pointing at Ahsoka. Ahsoka put her hands on her hips and let out an annoyed scowl.

The laughter died down almost instaneously when the Yoda actor continued.

"Yo b*tch! Find out where da h*ll are we so I can get down hard with the women here."

The clone actor who was looking at the map stopped and looked up.

"Sir...I hate to break it to ya but, there are no women on this planet." he saldy informed. The Yoda actor stamped his foot.

"Sh*t! What a waste of my mothaf*ckin time! Who wants to get it on with the Yo meister? HUH! Because someone likes to screw around with me!" he screamed in fury. None of the clones said anything, fearing for what would come out next.

"Oh-oh-oh alright then! Now ya'll have got on my hit list! Ima break into yo home and beat ya! Ima beat ya! And-and then Ima go in and steal yo g-friends! Yeah! Cuz we ain't homies anymore!" Yoda then yelled violently again, throwing his gold cane at a clone in the face.

"Sir! We're getting a transmission!" a clone spoke up.

"Well don't just stand around there like a dumb*ss! Answer the phone ya mofo! Who da h*ll you expecting on the line? Eminem?" Yoda uneccessarily remarked at the poor clone.

The clone staggered back hurt and answered the transmission without any questions. When it turned on, there was the King of Toydaria...well...it almost looked like him. This actor had dreadlocks and held a suspicious bag with white powder in his hand. Even more peculiar, the background the King stood in looked like a cloud of smoke was surrounding him, and his guards wandered around like idiots that banged into each other on the occasion.

"Was goin' on man! I gots me a lady friend here who wants to 'speak' with cha man!" the King said with a Lil' Wayne smile and a Jamaican accent. (A/N No offense to Jamaicans at all!)

The Yoda actor smiled, revealing to have gold teeth in his mouth.

"Well, put her on the line! C'mon Tey'Jon! I ain't got all day!" he demanded.

Back on the audience, Yoda recalled his memory of that missoin and realized the woman they were talking about was none other than Asajj Ventress. Yoda silently snickered to himself, wondering what the facial expression of the actors would be once they got a good look at the either hideous or fat Ventress actor...

...But when the hologram turned for the woman, she made evry male (including Anakin) jaw drop at her sight. This woman had soft pale skin, and a lucious body with perfect feminine curves, along with soft pink lips, bright blue eyes, and...long, curly, golden blond HAIR!

"She-she's not b-b-bald?" Anakin cried, gaping at the Mary-Sue beauty before his eyes. He almost started to think inappropiate thoughts about her until a certain Senator elbowed him hard in the chest, reminding him who he was supposed to have inappropiate thoughts about.

"She's actually hot!" Rex cheerfully said with a drooling smile until Ahso9ka slapped him and stormed out of the audience.

"Not that you aren't sweetie!" Rex attemtped to chase after his angry love.

All the other boys who were jaw dropped received the elbow treatment form their secret loves, except for Mace. Unfortunately, the poor Master recieved a kick in the groin from Adi Gallia. Mace tightly kept his mouth shut from screaming, and he held on to his...erm..kiwis, and gave Adi a murderous glare.

"What...was...that...for?" he gritted through his teeth, still trying to hold in his pain and lust to lung at her. Adi could tell only gave him a mischievious smirk.

"I just figured I'd give you a little 'advice'. You can thank me later!" she simply remarked, making Mace growl like a lion.

Anyways, back to the play with the Mary-Sue Ventress, she light up the stage with an angelic smile.

"Why hello, Master Yoda. I must comment though that you have already failed in an attempt to convince Toydaria to join the Republic and convince me to go on a date with you." her smooth voice cooed an insult. To which, none of the men even bothered to take a care for at all because they just wanted hea her angelic voice speak again.

The Yoda actor drooled all over the floor so badly, it started to flow off the stage and into the front row audience that was already covered in droid puke.

Kit took a notice to that and shook his head.

"It is just not those people's lucky day, is it?" he commented to his secret love, Aayla. She nodded in agreement, apparently being the only girl to seemingly have forgiven her love for going weak in his knees over Miss. Mary-Sue...while the rest still looked steamed.

Eventually, the Yoda actor/gangster eventually snapped himself out of his daydreaming and spoke up.

"Always in motion the future is." he said, speaking the wrong line WAAY too early. One of the clone actors face-palmed himself.

"Wrong line you idiot!" he muttered lowly so only Yoda could hear and not the audience. Sadly for the clone though, he made a bad mistake on saying that to him of all people.

Yoda turned around slowly, a pissed off look on his face.

"What did you say smart*ss?" he gritted through his teeth slowly, his big eyes pirecing into the ones behind the mask.

"Um...nothing?" the clone squeaked innocently. The Yoda actor didn't buy it.

"NOW YA F*CKED UP! IMA BEAT YOU! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT HUH? IMA GO SHNIQUA ON YOU!" Yoda let out his war cry and pounced on top of the clone's face, scratching and clawing at him.

"Oh sh*t! Oh sh*t! Oh sh*t! HELP!" the poor clone cried as he ran, waving his arms in the air. The other clones just stood there awkwardly, not wanting to die. The clone and Yoda ran off stage and the screaming continued for about a minute when it suddenly stopped.

The Yoda actor walked in, his facial expression grim, though he acted like nothing happened despite the face his yellow shirt was covered in blood.

Now, back with the real Yoda, something tells me he's just about lost half of his friends because all the people sitting next to him, or even near him, scooted back as far as the could go to get away form him.

"Alright let's get down to some serious sh*t. Dis challenge you got fo' us is mad tight." the Yoda actor complained, looking a bit more calmer than what he was 2 minutes ago.

The Mary-Sue Ventress smiled.

"Yes, this mission is what you so childlishly call 'tight' is indeed so. You may try if you wish, but you shall only fail." she snorted. Yoda smiled dreamily.

"Hee hee. Thanks sexy." he repiled, choking on his drool.

All of a sudden, an army of scary looking droids with bazooka's came in.

"Die Jedi scum!" their voices sounding more like Chucky's rather than high pitched.

"What is with these modifications on the droids?" Obi-Wan wondered aloud.

The clones cowered off while the Yoda actor shook his head, jaw dropped.

"AW! HELL TO THE NAW!" he said drawing out his lightsabre, preparing to attack; When suddenly, he ended up tripping on his oversized clothes and falling flat on his face.

A clone rushed in to help him as he let out a string of colorful curse words, before looing up to see the clone coming to the rescue.

"Help a brother out man!" Yoda screeched, eyes widened as the droids drew closer and closer...

"It's alright sir. Calm down. Now if we just hurry-"

"Holy sh*t we goin' die! Here take this one no will even notice him missing!" Yoda interrupted, pushing the clone in fornt of the shooting droids. Luckily, the clone instinctvely played dead, so none of the droids would even bother with him as they chased after Yoda and the other clones.

"OH MY GOD! SWEET FORCE HELP US! PLEASE BLOW THESE MOFO'S UP FOR ME!" Yoda begged to no one in particular except the air he thought was the Force.

"Act like this, I would never!" Yoda exclaimed, fully embarrased with cheeks as red as a rose.

Somehow, the whole scene ended up being Yoda screaming as the droids came after him and the fellow clones while screamingout curse words that made Obi-Wan and Plo thank the Force they decided to not let the Younglings come with them.

When the running scene FINALLY ended, the scene changed rapidly to Yoda and the clones standing in front of the King of Toydaria and Mary-Sue Ventress.

"Hmph. So these idiots actually survived, eh? Mm, I don't feel like dealing with them. If you shall excuse me, it is time for my departure. Adeu!" Ventress said rather professionaly as she simply walked towards her ship and left. Yoda, the King, and all the other Clone panted with their tongues hanging down like dogs as they watched her booty and the rest of her exit.

"So, uh, you wanna go and smoke the good stuff?" Yoda offered to the clones. The four turned and looked at each other, then looked downward at Yoda.

"Meh, I don't really see why not. We're all going to die anyways." one clone answered. The King took out his suspicious bag and threw it in the air stupidly.

"Yaaayy! Snow!" he cried while Yoda, being even more stupid, stuck out his tongue to taste the 'snow'. And with that in summary, the curtains closed, leaving everyone in the audience speechless.

Yoda jumped out of his seat angrily, his face looking as if he were threatning to destory anyone if they came between him.

"If you need me I'll be taking a crap." he gloomily said. As he walked, all the people he passed automatically lifted their legs up in fear that he would rip them off as he passed.

There was a long awkward pause when Kit finally spoke up to break the silence.

"Didn't anyone just notice he talked forward again?"

Alright! Two chapters done in a day! Yes! Major accomplishment! Don't forget to vote on what epsiode I should do next! I'm only giving 24 hours. Sorry if that's not long, but I took 6 days off and I don't want to waste anymore.

To all my fans who R&R, free virtual cookies! ^.^

Chapter Four shall be up soon! No flamers or else Yoda will come and find you. XD

xX Isabella Xx