A Blank State of Mind

Chapter 3: A Long Way to Go

The first thing on Hermione's mind the next morning was how long did she have to stay in the hospital wing. However, if she was stuck in here she may as well write down all the questions she had for Harry and the others. Maybe, writing them down would help her memories to return. Since she had a lot of questions it was time to get started:

How did she lose her memory? Did someone curse her and can it be reversed?

What happened in first year and the following years?

What is happening now?

Is it possible to relearn four years worth of magic over the summer?

Hermione scanned her four questions, she felt that they should be more but this was all she could think of right now. At least the answers to the four questions should get her 80% up to speed and the other 20% would hopefully be details that'll be filled in along the way.

She sighed, a long deep sigh and Hermione realised that she's never been so exhausted or fed up in her life. There was no way she was spending more time in this bed or in this hospital. She knew that breaking the rules were wrong but how did they expect her to get better if she was cooped up all day.

Hermione glanced in the direction of Madam Pomfrey's office. The nurse was bustling around her office, pulling small vials off of shelves. She was pouring some of the vials into a cauldron and Hermione saw a puff of purple smoke form above the cauldron and begin to disperse throughout the office. Clearly by the harsh muttering Madam Pomfrey didn't intend for this to happen and began searching frantically for another vial. She was obviously preoccupied and so Hermione decided to use this opportunity to explore the rest of the school.

She felt rejuvenated with excitement at the thought of finally leaving this room. Maybe breaking the rules wasn't the worst thing in the world. She stifled a giggle as she sneaked out of the hospital wing.

Rays of sunlight streamed through the large windows creating pools of light across the stone floors. Portraits of men, women and creatures decorated the walls further down the hallway. As she walked further away from the hospital wing, the chatter of the other students became louder creating a buzz of excitement in the air.

As she walked down the set of stairs at the end of the hallway, she was in awe at how beautiful the castle was. It was a stunning piece of medieval architecture in structure but the inside was adorned with pieces and statues spanning from the early middle ages through to the renaissance and several modern pieces framed the school. Hermione had always loved grand places dedicated to learning which is why she was so attached to her library back home but this school was on a whole another level.

She had been wandering and admiring the halls following the twists and turns of the castle for at least the past thirty minutes. She had thoroughly enjoyed the time to herself without anyone pestering her for questions or even worse giving her such pitiful looks every time she failed to give the answers they expected. She scowled thinking about it, she didn't need to be reminded that she was failure she could do it on her own.

."Hermione, please, do something" Harry insisted although she could hear the rising frustration in his voice as he said it.

Yet despite his pleas Hermione was still motionless, she glanced at Harry too ashamed of herself to meet his gaze. Harry wasn't focused on her. There was someone else, she followed his line of sight to see.

Hermione's voice got caught in her throat. The man, no he was too reptilian to be a man was staring right at her.

Translucent skin that was stretched so tightly Hermione could see the curve and dips of his skull. A low brow bone that cast a deep shadow across where his eyes should be. Instead there were two slits that housed blood red eyes. There was no nose just to slits where the nostrils should be. His mouth was stretched into a thin ghastly sneer that caused the slits to almost disappear except from the glint of red and malice that lit up his entire face.

Hermione felt herself hyperventilating, she was sick from fear what creature was this. Her hyperventilation got quicker as he approached her. He opened his mouth, the slits were wide with contempt and laughter, he was laughing at her. Her cheeks were wet with tears. He shrieked...

"Miss Granger," a bored voice drawled

Hermione shrieked and sobbed louder.

"Miss Granger, please calm yourself. I'm your professor. I mean you no harm." the voice became less drawling and slightly more concerned.

A firm hand was planted on her shoulder, she sobbed again, but the hand did not move and nothing happened. She felt her sobs begin to subside and within a couple of moments she was being steered through the corridors, up the stairs and around the turns.

In what seemed like no time at all the weaving stopped. She peaked through her hands and was greeted by the bright lights of the hospital wing.

Madam Pomfrey looked set to scold her but upon seeing how pathetic she looked clearly thought better of it. Madam Pomfrey guided her to her bed. Once Hermione was settled she was off without another word only to return a few minutes later with a tray of toast and scrambled eggs and a glass of water. The nurse graced her with a gentle smile and Hermione gave her a watery smile in gratitude. With that Madam Pomfrey left for good this time.

Her stomach rumbled and Hermione hadn't realised just how hungry she was. She tucked in and savoured the buttery goodness of the eggs and the soft crunch of the toast. Before she knew it she had finished it all. She sighed contently there was nothing like a good breakfast.

She fished out the paper she had written her questions on earlier.

How did she lose her memory? Did someone curse her and can it be reversed?

Thinking about the singular moment she had remembered about that thing, Hermione was almost certain that she knew who had caused her to lose her memory. But how did it do it? And is there a way to get the rest of her memories back? Hermione knew she could get some of them back evidenced by the flashback. She shuddered thinking about it.

"Hermione! Where did you go? We were looking everywhere for you. We missed breakfast!" Ron bemoaned, at the last remark Ginny slapped him upside the head and scowled at him. Hermione couldn't help but roll her eyes at the boy.

"What Ron meant was that you really scared us, we thought something might have happened to you. But we're glad to see that you're okay, mostly." Ginny explained.

"Mostly?" Hermione pressed, what exactly was she implying was she saying that she would never fully recover.

"Well, Hermione, it was just we overheard the professors talking and Snape said you were crying your eyes out when he found you. He almost sounded sympathetic and if you remembered anything about Snape you'd look as shocked as I sound." Harry chuckled and Hermione felt a spark of joy in her chest.

"Yeah, so why were you crying Hermione? Did Malfoy do something to you?" Ron questioned. Hermione could tell that whilst Ron was not the most tactful person he was coming from a genuine place of concern. Although she had no clue who this 'Malfoy' was. She gave him a friendly smile then replied.

"I don't know who this Malfoy is so no. But I think I remembered something and it, it scared me." she paused wondering how to recount what she thought of earlier.

"Hermione that's brilliant, one second, Ginny's gone to get Madam Pomfrey. Maybe she'll be able to help you regain some more memories." Neville piped up, he had been so silent that Hermione hadn't even realised he was there.

"Sorry, Hermione I didn't mean to startle you since you were lost in thought but Madam Pomfrey said she thought something like this would happen just not this soon. But you've always been an overachiever." Neville teased.

For the first time today, Hermione laughed. She was still scared by what she saw and if things could ever go back to the way they were. But seeing these people who knew that she couldn't remember anything about them be so concerned about her and make the effort to cheer her up truly made her thankful that she had such good friends. She wished more than anything that she could remember them.

Ginny returned with Professors McGonagall, Snape, Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey in tow. Hermione shrank back into the pillows as she became very aware of the large crowd that formed around her bed.

"Miss Granger, Miss Weasley here says you may have regained some of your memories. No matter how sad or distressing the memories were, we need you tell us everything. It's the only way we can help you." Professor McGonagall spoke in an unusually soft tone for such a strict woman.

Hermione nodded and explained why Snape had found her crying in the hallway. When she had finished three different conversations immediately took place.

On one side of the room. Ron, Harry, Ginny and Neville were engaging in a vibrant discussion. The top of Ron's ears had turned red as well as the tip of his nose and he looked increasingly annoyed. Maybe he was disappointed in the memory that had resurfaced. Neville seemed very uncomfortable while Ginny and Harry seemed to alternate between comforting and chastising Ron for whatever insensitive thing he had said.

On the other side of the room, the adults were deep into a serious hushed discussion. The type of discussion that resonated seriousness and made Hermione feel like a little kid eavesdropping on her parents. Snape's face was sour as per last time she saw him so didn't really reveal anything. Pomfrey and McGonagall also had the same concerned and strict looks respectively aside from the intensity in both of their gazes that wasn't there previously. But the greatest change was in Professor Dumbledore, his kind and expressive face was close and grave. His blue twinkling eyes were dimmed by a concern that seemed to weigh heavy on him. His mouth that was usually curved in a knowing smile was set in a grim line like a doctor who had to tell the family that the patient didn't make it.

The happiness that Hermione had felt when she was with her friends had evaporated completely and her fearful mind was now in overdrive. Just what exactly would happen? Did they now agree with Snape and were going to pack her off to St. Mungo's? She took a deep breath, eyes darting between the two groups until the both discussions had died down.

Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat and addressed the room but his gaze was fixed squarely on Hermione. There was nowhere to hide from eyes like that.

"Miss Granger, once again you have surpassed our expectations and have regained a memory far earlier than we thought one may emerge. However, there is still a long way to go in order to fully restore your mind but at least this is a start.

We have decided that you may be permitted to leave the hospital wing as the school year ends in four days. However, you are not to be left unsupervised. As there are no classes, during the day you shall be under the care of at least one your friends," Dumbledore gestured towards the group of teenagers who seemed happy with the news.

"But due to your condition we believe it to be wise that you eat your meals with a member of staff. You'll come to the hospital wing for breakfast, lunch and dinner to eat as well as to check in with Madam Pomfrey to keep her updated on your circumstances. If Madam Pomfrey is unavailable than one of us will step in and later report to Madam Pomfrey." Dumbledore used this opportunity to gesture to himself and the other two professors.

"Lastly, you'll be officially discharged after lunch today. We'll have suitable summer arrangements prepared for you before the school year ends and those shall be discussed with you after the end of year feast. Which, provided you feel up to it Miss Granger, you will be allowed to attend."

As soon as Dumbledore had finished that sentence it was like his entire demeanour had changed. His blue eyes began twinkling and his crooked smile was back in place like it had never left and so he finished his speech

"Now that everything has been discussed, I feel that Miss Granger has more than earned some time with her friends. And with that it is now time for us to take our leave." Dumbledore waltzed out of the door with the other adults close behind.

The group of teenagers all looked at each other, struggling to start talking after everything that had just happened. The piece of paper Hermione was clutching felt as though it was burning her hand and she decided that now was as good as time as any to get answers.