Pulling up into the shitty hotel we all jumped out slamming our doors.

"12s over there!" Screamed Castle as we all took off in the direction of the door.

In a matter a few sprints we were all at the door that had a gold 12 hanging on the chipped red paint. Wasting no time I started slamming my fist down the door.

"KEV? OPEN UP!" I screamed like it was going out of style. Worry washed over me. Had he already killed himself? Was that why he wasn't answering the door? Maybe he was was dying right now. Before my brain reacted my foot was slamming against the deadbolt in an attempt to break open the door. Luckily, the years special forces training made it a quick and easy process.

Without a second thought Castle, Beckett , and I were running the door with the only thing on our mind, Kevin. The room was tiny so we spotted Kevin within seconds of entering. The moment I saw that brownish red type of hair my heart broke. The stench of vomit and alcohol made its way to our noses as our eyes wandered around the depressing room. A few duffel bags were tossed carelessly throughout the room and a small photo of Sarah Grace was on the nightstand. Breaking my attention from the surroundings I saw Kevin. There he was leaning against a small bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand and his gun in the other.

I dropped my needs as fast as I could placing a gentle hand on Kevin's pale neck.

"Kevin? Can you hear me? Kevin?" I let out a sigh of relief as Kevin's eyes fluttered open.

"Jaavii?" He slurred, attempting to move. Castle moved around me quickly grabbing the bottle and gun out of his hand and put it aside. Beckett had pulled a chair from the dinky table that was across the room and Castle and I hoisted him up in the chair. I had to keep a hand on Kevin just so I knew he was alive. I lost him once and I'll be damned if I lose him again.

"I checked around. There is not any pill bottle or anything, just a ton of broken glass." Beckett said as she moved to crouch in front of Kevin too.

"Kevin, can you understand me?" He was mumbling as this point. I wanted to cry , but I knew I couldn't let my guard down in front them. I cocked my head around, making eye contact with Beckett and Castle. We all shared the same pained look.

"-huuum Javvv, why chu here?" Kevin slurred lazily as he tried to move his hand to my face, but missed by a few inches. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was everywhere.

"I'm here to take you home." I moved my hand up to his cheek and gently rubbed it.

"We should get him to the hospital" Beckett said as she stood back up.

"I don't think he needs the hospital, I've been drunker I my college days." Castle said with a soft chuckle.

"I agree with him. Let's get him out of this place and take him back to mine." Standing up I put my arms on Kevin's torso and pulled him up from his sitting position and towards myself. Beckett made a sour face then began to speak.

"No! He almost killed himself! He needs to be in a hospital on a psych hold!"

The look on my face must have been pretty bad, cause before I spoke both Castle and Beckett backed up in fright.

"NO! I'm taking him to my place where I can watch him and make sure he's okay. And when he sobers up I'm going to get the answers I want. I'm going to protect him, not some hospital."

"no yelling- ple-" Kevin murmured as he placed his face into my neck. In any other situation I would have reacted at Kevin's action, but today was not the day. I tightened my grip on Kevin and in one final attempt to get past them, I spoke.

"Once he sobers up, if I feel he needs it I'll personally take him to the hospital. Until then, I'm protecting him. I can't lose him again.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It took me a few minutes to pour Kevin into the backseat of Beckett's cruiser. Once we had him in the car it only took us a few quick trips to get his remaining belongings in the trunk. As Castle went to make check out Kevin, I made one final sweep of the room. Eyes landing on the single photo of Sarah Grace I carefully picked it up and gingerly placed it into my front chest pocket.

We piled into the vehicle and made the solemn ride back to my house. No one spoke, the only thing heard was the occasional a low whine from Kevin. I wanted to know so badly what was running through his brain. Why would such a beautiful man want to end his life? I wanted to know what happened between him and Jenny, because if it's affecting him this badly it had to be serious.

Anger flowed within me; Jenny lied and I wanted to confront her about it. I always supported Kevin, that being said I supported Jenny too. I treated that women like a sister and this is what she does?

I remember the day I made her promise; she smiled and giggled not even batting an eyelash.

"Javier, you know I'll take good care of him. Loosen up, it's time to pass the torch. He's mine now." I can still remember the smirk on her face when she said that. She knew about how I felt for Kevin a mere week after we were introduced.

I let out a breath of air, "promise me Jenny, I don't want to see him hurt."

"Promise."

A hand grabbed my bicep and squeezed. Looking over Kevin spoke.

"um ont eel good jav" He must have been pretty wasted cause when he spoke it was still slurred.

Placing a hand over Kevin's I squeezed. "Don't worry, were going to be back home soon."

Moving my head I caught a glimpse of Beckett in the rear view mirror. I've seen the knowing look before, man I need to hide my feelings better.

Beckett threw on the sirens for the second time today as she parked at the front of my New York apartment. Opening the door I wrapped my arms around Kevin's waist for the second time today and began to work my way to the door of my building. Following in tow Castle and Beckett were carrying Kevin's possessions, with made my heart break even more.

"Mr. Esposito, you need to tell Mr. Ryan to lay off the vodka. I can smell him from here!" I looked up at my door man. Letting a tired smile I haul Kevin past him and said,

"Rough day, but I'll let him know."

Heading straight to the elevator I pressed the button waiting for the doors to swing open. As they did all four of us shuffled into the elevator and I pressed the button. Soon we'd all get the answers we want.

Once we hit my floor I worked Kevin out of the elevator. Using only one arm I pulled my keys out of my back pocket and opened the door.

"Beckett and I are going to run down and grab some food for all of us-" Castle spoke with an cock of his eyebrow "and maybe some Gatorade for Kevin."

I didn't say anything, just nodded my head as they let their self out. I pulled Kevin onto my couch as I sat, letting his head fall on my lap.

"Jav-"

I placed a hand on his head and gently rubbed.

"Shh mi amor. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay"