Author's Note: Hope you're all in for the long haul, this story is going to be pretty damn long I'm afraid. anyway, please review and enjoy it :) xx
"Nurrgghh, what?" Karl's voice was blunt and harsh as he answered the phone call clumsily, not checking his caller ID first.
"Hey, sweetie, it's me." Hermione half whispered, firmly shutting her bedroom window thinking it might be the breeze keeping her awake, even though half an hour ago it had been the heat, she thought. "Sorry…" She added for good measure, staring out through the left over rain drops, the storm had long since stopped, at the dark wet road that extended in front of her house.
"Oh, Hermione-" He laughed and yawned, "No I'm sorry, didn't mean to snap at you there. What's up honey? Or are you just trying to kill me by keeping me up at all hours?"
"No, I-" She worried for a second but decided to go with the joke, "There's no conspiracy theory, you can relax, I just…I can't sleep." She told him quietly,
"Something on your mind?"
Hermione pictured him propping himself up on his elbows, concerned, ready to listen despite his obvious tiredness. "I don't know. It's really annoying," She grumbled.
"Ok, let's just talk about something- anything- and try to stay awake."
"Why?"
"Well you called me love." He laughed again and this time Hermione joined too, it was so infectious when Karl laughed. "I find, if I'm trying to get to sleep, the fastest way to go is to try, really hard, to stay awake, I'm usually asleep within minutes."
"Aha," She replied, "The magic of reverse psychology, I like it. Ok let's talk about…"
Hermione hopped off at the bus at the end of her road and started a brisk stride towards her house immediately, with a list of things to do firmly lodged in her mind. Pack her bag for the pool with Karl, do half an hour's research for English, feed the animals, make salad to put in the fridge, get together a list for the supermarket later, empty and re-pack her school bag, then dash out of the door to be collected from the end of her road by Karl. She enjoyed their Tuesday night swimming sessions, which they tried to have as often as possible, even if the pool showers were lukewarm and terribly public, and then floor never felt clean, and the pool was stupidly echo-y so you couldn't hear each other speak, swimming was a relaxing feeling and wherever she was with Karl she had fun. She fished her keys from her bag now and opened her front door to a hail of yaps from Lily as she skittered across the floor to greet her; Hermione smiled and gave her some due attention before heading upstairs to unload her heavy shoulder bag.
She ducked between her room and the bathroom, swiftly gathering shampoo and conditioner, a towel and hair towel, her plain black swimming costume, a hair brush, some spare makeup- and the list went on, as she attempted, as usual, to cram impossible amounts of stuff that she didn't need into her drawstring swim bag. She was halfway through the process when the door bell rang. It can't be Karl already, that's hours early, unless something's wrong. Suddenly worried, Hermione jogged down the stairs, still carrying her overflowing bag in one hand. She tugged open the front door, expecting either the post-lady with a parcel or Karl; but it was neither. It was…her mind tumbled over the names, it was so impossible, unthinkable, not at all what she wanted…Ginny, Luna and…
"I…" The bag dropped to her feet with an odd thud and her mouth struggled to work, to form words she knew she ought to find easy. "Ron?" Her breath was short, it came as a gasp. Hermione pushed past Ginny, gulping in air, shaking her head, "What…?" She flung her arms around Ron's neck, without wanting to think or explain why and he embraced her with the same feeling. They clung to each other.
When Hermione surfaced she was still shaking her head and desperately trying to regulate her breathing. It was only when she put her hands to her face to push back her hair that she felt her wet cheeks, and became aware she was crying, or had been crying. "I'm sorry, I just- sorry." She started to pull herself together, noticing that all three of them were looking around worriedly. "Go in." Hermione whispered the offer, and the filed into the house. She waited on her driveway for just a second, taking in the horizon, praying silently for a moment this isn't real, but she knew it was- it was that horrible gut wrenching reality feeling that she never experienced in dreams. A minute ago the only thing that horizon had been threatening was a late evening shower to cut short her impending dog-walk, but now it threatened the weight of two worlds of pain, and Hermione already knew she did not want that pain back in her life; but just a second ago she had let three huge lumps of pain walk into her house. She had to follow, it was purely involuntary.
They piled into the kitchen and Ron hovered awkwardly at the back of the group, apparently attempting to keep some distance between himself and Hermione. Ginny and Luna seemed to desire the opposite, closeness, Ginny's knuckles were white as she clung to the kitchen counter somewhat desperately. Her hair was matted and lank with grease, her eyes sunken and tired and her clothes were filthy; with all of them in one room you could definitely smell them. Hermione's eyes were drawn to Luna, as she half remembered parts of the dream- there in her hand was a small bag, clutched tightly as though precious. But as Hermione's eyes raked Luna, taken in the same visible exhaustion as Ginny, she saw something that threatened to split her in half with anguish; the old scars, one either side of her neck, from deep bruising in the shape of invisible hands, hands that Hermione had…she couldn't even form the thought it choked her so badly.
"What do you want?" She blurted eventually, dragging her eyes from Luna's neck.
Ginny was quick off the mark, she looked right at Hermione, "We need help." She pleaded, "We've got nowhere to go."
"No." Hermione turned away and faced the stair case,
"What do you mean, 'no'?" Ginny's eyes flashed,
"I mean no, not here. I can't help you any more Ginny. I'm not magic-"
"Hermione you-"
Hermione cut back across her, "No! I don't have any powers, and you're not going to bring your world into my life. I'm happy here, I got out…now I'm staying out." She finally found the guts to look up at them.
"Hermione." Ron reasoned, and her gaze was pulled to him, "We're not asking you to fight with us but, oh god, the wizarding world is at war right now. And we've run out of safe places to run, maybe you could let us stay just for a few days while we draw up a game plan." Then he added somewhat resentfully, "If you don't want to see us, then you wont even know we're here."
"Ron, all I have wanted all this time was to be able to see you again, I thought it was going to kill me I wanted it so badly," Tears seemed to be turning on and off without her control now, "And now you're here I…I just can't." Harry would understand, she thought involuntarily, and then cursed herself- his name was the one she'd had to try hardest to block out of her mind. "And you can't just stay here, I know how it works even if I don't want to, you're going to put me, my friends, my family, all in danger just by being here."
"So you'd rather we just died?" Ginny went for the attack.
Hermione looked at her beautiful, tired friend and wish she had an answer that could suit them all. "Fine, just stay in here for a bit, don't leave this room." She added irritably as a warning.
She opened a drawer on the opposite side of the work top to the others and took out a carton of cigarettes and a half-empty petrol lighter, then without looking at them stormed out and slammed the front door. She sat heavily onto the top step of her porch and tried to avoid the staring-at-the-horizon-begging-for-an-easy-answer syndrome. She lit the cigarette, I think I can be forgiven for this one, and took a long drag on it, contemplating letting them staying, sending them packing, running away, or even running away with them…each idea crazier than the next.
Back inside the house Hermione shut the door more quietly and dumped the rest of her cigarettes down on a table top, she felt calmer now. Ginny and Luna had sat down along her breakfast bar but Ron was still stood exactly where she'd left him, his eyes following her wherever she went.
"Can I get you a drink?" It seemed inadequate but it was what she'd ask any normal guests in her house. Luna nodded enthusiastically and Hermione took it as a chance to look away again and sort through for a big glass in her cupboard, "Water or juice or…?"
"Just water please." Lu replied quietly.
She watched the water spiral from the tap into the cool glass and then passed it silently to her friend. Luna grabbed it with both hands and took a giant gulp,
"Ginny, it's actually nice tasting water." She laughed and Ginny returned a weak smile; Hermione felt lost as the inside-joke floated right over her head.
Ron cleared his throat, "Look, we understand if you need to know the situation, if we need to tell you what's going on before you can-"
"That is the last thing I need!" Hermione snapped suddenly, "Tell the witch who's still connected to Voldemort all your plans, that'd go down great with-" She drew her breath in sharply, skirting around the name, "Look, sorry, what I need is…" She sighed and tried again, frustrated by how difficult this was. Her phone started to vibrate and she whipped it out of her pocket, closing her eyes for a second as she realized what she'd let happen, "Damn. What I need is to tell my boyfriend that I can't come out tonight." She muttered,
Ron took a convulsive step forward, "Your boyfr-"
"Hi Karl." Hermione couldn't help but smile, despite the situation, as she turned her back on the others,
"Hey baby, listen, I'm gonna be five minutes late, is that ok? Josh came over and I completely lost track of time, I'm really sorry."
"Don't worry." She told him easily, "I- erm- I can't come swimming either, sorry. That cold just seems to be getting worse, so I'm gonna make myself a cup of tea and snuggle down for the evening, I really don't want it to get so bad I have to take time of college."
"Yeah, swimming's not a good idea then." Karl agreed easily, "Do you want me to come over and walk Lily for you?" Hermione thought fast,
"That's ok, I've already done her, that's when I noticed how rough I was feeling."
"Want some alone time, honey?" Hermione made a non-committal noise, "Ok, well you just get better fast," She could hear the earnest smile in his voice and was almost tempted to beg him to come over just so she could see him smile, "Give me a call if you need anything at all ok?"
"Ok darling. Speak to you later then." She hung up and looked back round, clearing her throat. There was a general air of bewilderment about the room, "Oh what? You didn't think life moved on without you guys?" She asked, anger bubbling beneath the surface, "You can take it in turns to shower." Hermione added crossly, "There are plenty of towels in the bathroom, it's the little room at the end of the hallway." Ron's face was hard as he stalked upstairs first. Hermione exhaled slowly and then paced in a circle for no reason. "You can stay for a day or so." She relented and the girls looked relieved.
Hermione heard Ron join her in the back garden, she was sat, tense, on the edge of her bench, not watching the dog career through her parents' flower beds instead she stared at a different horizon, but with the same prospects.
"Sorry about this. I didn't want to come back." He made a vague peace offering.
"Oh you didn't?" She was being too harsh, but she couldn't think of a reasonable way of dealing with this.
"I knew this wasn't going to be easy for any of us. I don't know if it's the right choice to be honest, I don't think Harry would-"
"Can we not!" She cut across him sharply. There was silence in the annoyingly still evening, "My second one of the day." She indicated to her cigarette, almost burnt out now, "That's never happened before."
Ron took this as an invitation to come and sit down. "They took over Hogwarts." Ron started to tell her, she had known he would eventually, in spite of all her best intentions, "Nothing's really happening there, which is weird, it's making everyone pretty tense watching from the outside, so we sent a guard up there."
"Neville, Cho, Seamus and Lavender, I heard."
"How?" Ron turned to face her quickly,
"I was sort of at that meeting, watching from the window, I went there…" She drew a long breath before she finally muttered, "I went there in my dream."
"Oh god." Ron muttered, and took his turn at looking into the distance, somewhat hopefully. He continued, "So we've got eyes on Hogwarts ready in case something goes down there, but we can't get in because there's a huge Death Eater guard- they're not hurting anyone though. The Ministry has literally been blown to pieces, the government completely dissolved and now He Who Must Not Be Named has-"
"I don't see why you don't just say Voldemort, it's quicker more than anything."
"Well anyway, He has made Godric's Hollow into a battle field, literally, more people join ranks on both sides either day, it's like a proper barracks on both sides, organized battle plans and all sorts. We're not letting Them get anywhere near Harry's Parents' old house, because we think the source to Voldemort's power might be there."
Hermione nodded to show comprehension, even though the last thing she actually wanted was to comprehend.
"So that's our life right now." Ron finished, and they sat in silence for some time.
Hermione put out her cigarette and stood up, "Let's get you guys somewhere to sleep." She put the dog-end in the bin by the back door and Ron followed her, clearly frustrated by her lack of reaction or interest, but not saying any more- even he, man of little tact, knew when to stop pushing sometimes.
Once she had set Ron and Luna up on the two sofas and pulled a blanket onto the reclining chair for Ginny, Hermione began to trudge up to her own bed, which she had never felt less like entering, doubting very much that she'd get any sleep. She passed Ginny at the bathroom door.
"Night." The younger girl said to her, keeping her head down.
Hermione sighed, she wanted to just pass by, but she had to ask or it would eat away at her till there was nothing left, "Ginny, what's happened to H-" She choked up for half a second, "Harry?"
"Traveling, on his quest." She muttered in reply, her voice a little bitter. "He's in search of the Fire Stick- it's the first wand, which apparently has something to do with his prophecy and one of them is going to use it to kill the other, him or You Know Who, I mean."
"Quest?"
"It's a 'go it alone thing', even if it wasn't…well, you know Harry. Dangerous as hell, it's supposed to be near as damn it impossible to find, you have to face terrible trials to get to it, to become worthy." Ginny sounded weary, disillusioned, and Hermione wasn't surprised. "Voldemort's hunting it too but I'm pretty sure his minions are doing it for him, there's no way he'd leave Godric's Hollow now. So that's why he's not with us."
"You miss him?" Hermione search Ginny's face, looking for the earnestness she needed to find there.
Ginny's reply was strained, "Every day." She whispered.
